0_(26)-What?

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***

- What?

I could make out a silhouette in the strange glow, but I had to wipe my eyes immediately. Because what I saw didn't fit into my world view.

- Oh, I didn't expect you to be here, hi," said...a stranger in a Spider-Man costume.

He looked very strange.

It seemed that in the design of his uniform I could see elements of every Spider-Man costume I could think of. From the lenses to the lines on his boots.

But there was only one question at the moment.

- Why do you have a cape?

- And this? - The alien looked behind his back, -a small tribute to the Unlimited variation, and not only that, -suddenly the stranger started rummaging through the boxes in my lab.

Although I didn't feel threatened, I grabbed web-shooters from my backpack and, putting them on, aimed at the alien.

- Stop right there!

- Are we seriously going to go through with this? I don't have much time, kid," the stranger said without even looking in my direction.

- Who are you?

- You are.

- What?

- I'm you," the alien said mundanely, checking the strange silver spider-shaped bracelet on his wrist, "well, at least the person you could be.

- Are you Peter Parker? - I ask incredulously.

- Oh, is that what you're saying? Don't worry, I am you. Let me put it this way, Kras. You understood perfectly well what this abbreviation means. But if you want, I can tell you the name of our mum or our grandmother or our first cat. Where's the...

He keeps going through Richard Parker's boxes, and I just freeze in shock.

- It can't be," I say quietly.

- Neither is rebirth in our favourite comic book character, and yet here we are. God, you went through all of Dad's tech rubbish, but you didn't even bother to check his science notes?! Was I really that careless at sixteen?

- I'm seventeen.

- Never mind. Where is it! - The elder Spider opened another box.

- How can I be sure that all this is really, really true?

- Apart from a gut feeling? Don't sweat it, by the way. If you work at it, the synergy with our favourite ability will be incredible. In fact, you may not believe it. But while I'm here, here's a couple of tips: first, when you fight Dum for the first time, be gentle, Vic's a really nice guy; second, don't introduce MJ and Felicia, the girls should come to it on their own; third, train your Sense, it'll come in handy when you meet telepaths; fourth... found it! - the man pulled out an old piece of paper. - All right, see you later, kid.

- Wait!

Before the older Spider dissolves into a lilac glow, I manage to shoot a web at him and feel a strange energy affecting my body.

The next moment I notice that I'm falling from a distance of several kilometres.

- WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?

I see that there are some boulders frozen in the air. I instinctively try to grab onto one of them. But just before the shot goes off, I feel someone pick me up.

I fly pendulum-like towards a huge stone mountain, and I'm abruptly released.

- Awww, hard landing," I rub my bruised shoulder.

- Be thankful I caught you at all.

I turn my head to the side and see another Spider. Unlike... my adult version, apparently, this one looks like....symbiote.**

- What are you wearing?!

- А? You mean the costume? Don't worry, all the intelligence in the symbiotic tissue has been removed. A special operation. Where did you come from?

Before I answer, I look around.

And I wish I hadn't.

I see a picture of a ruined city. The whole area around me, instead of the usual pictures of nature, was dark purple. It felt like something was broken.

I hear a soft landing next to me. I turn round and see an older version of myself.

- You're not supposed to be here! Do you realise what you've done?! - grabbing me by the pecs, yelled the older me.

- Nerd, do you know this little guy? Wait...that's our junior version, are you fucking kidding me?!

- Not now, Irresponsible.

- You brought our junior version here, jeopardised the development of our possible future, and irresponsible me?!

- Ours? - I stare at the other spider in shock as I realise what he's saying.

- Yeah. You don't even know what you signed up for, kid. I hope you brought a suit. You don't want to shine your fucking face like Holland, do you?

- Judging by that comment, you're my alternate version, too?

- Yeah, yeah, Cras, the whole thing. Seriously, at least wear a mask.

Silently, I pull the previously mentioned piece of my uniform out of my rucksack and pull it over my face.

- Where am I?

- Clearly not in Kansas. And let's thank our Mr Perfect for that, seriously, you're a genius, Nerd.

- In my case it was an accident, but you would have brought him here just for fun. I've still got 24 hours to reload mine.

- Yeah, yeah, never admit a mistake, at least that's one thing we have in common. Mine won't be back up for another seven hours.

- WHERE THE FUCK AM I?

Both adult spiders turned to me.

- Whoa. Take it easy, hysterical," Irresponsible said.

- Seriously, breathe, Pete. We'll explain everything,' Zanuda agreed.

- Although being here is just your fucking fault. You'll be less likely to jump into different portals.

- I was just trying to figure out who he was," I pointed at Zanuda.

- A dickhead like you," says Spider in the red symbiotic suit.

- Your bullshit is getting really annoying, so shut the fuck up before I do it for you! - This is an extremely stressful situation, and I tend to get angry quickly.

- Whoa, now I can see my side of the story, good for you, mate.

- What?

- Remember when I said I was the man you could be? He's another variation of that," Zanuda explains with a sigh.

- А?

- Yeah. Get your brains together. If it makes you feel any better, the three of us are the only variations in the entire multiverse. There will be no more surprises.

I sit on the ground in shock and grab my head.

"What's even going on?"

- I bet he's wondering, "What's going on?"

- It doesn't take a genius, Nerd.

- Shut up, Irresponsible.

- You two, that's enough! Can you properly explain what the hell is going on here?!

My emotional scream is interrupted by the sound of a loud crash.

On the other side of this asteroid, five six metre tall stone monsters appear.

- 'If we survive, mate,' Irresponsible replies and long symbiotic claws burst out of his hands, 'come on, fuckers!'

With a shout, Red Spider launched himself at the monsters. The other, pressing something on his glove, ran after him.

After digesting what had happened, I rushed after them, a few seconds later.

Symbiotic took on three of them. Stilyaga (I decided to give him that nickname for the number of elements in his costume), took two more. I got the last one.

They were a little taller than Rhino, but much scarier. At this point, I could only dodge the massive blows.

As I strategised, I furtively watched my older versions.

It still boggles my mind.

The cloaked man got close to the golems and, after capturing the head of one with a web, tied the thread to the leg of the other. This slowed them down, and the inertia also knocked the first one off his feet.

Next, Stilyaga's cloak dissolved and a small rucksack appeared, from which.... four bright red spider manipulators burst out. Painfully reminiscent, the same ones used by Perfect Spider/Octavius.

Two of the "paws" reached forward and punched the head of the second golem, which fell the second it began to crumble.

The first tried to get up, but Zanuda jumped up with the help of manipulators and, in a somersault, struck a blow, piercing through the chest of the monster, putting an end to the question of the existence of the first golem.

The irresponsible one, on the other hand, with a yell accompanied by a great deal of mate, began slashing one of its own opponents, with its healthy symbiotic claws.

The golem practically disintegrated, but Red didn't think to stop. Abruptly, a long symbiotic whisker grew out of its body, sideways, and darted towards the second golem, tying the monster by the leg and throwing it into the third stone creature.

Meanwhile, Mothershinik had finally pulverised the first enemy into dust. The spider began to run around the other golem from the side and began firing small symbiotic needles from its fingers, setting off a veritable bombardment of shrapnel.

The second golem covered itself with its arms and the third began to move off into the distance, but Irresponsible paid no attention to this, concentrating on the next opponent.

The spider approached his opponent and jumped up and grabbed the golem's head in mid-air, swinging it over him with a pendulum. The monster tried to strike, but several dozen symbiotic tendrils erupted from the suit, simultaneously piercing the golem's body. Five of the pieces crushed its head.

Irresponsible was about to turn towards the last enemy, but he was struck in the back by a beam of dark energy fired by the third golem.

With a cry of pain, Red was slammed into the rock. But not a second later, he jumped out of the opening.

Only something had changed.

The familiar spider mask rippled. A fanged maw that looked like the real Karnage.

The spider flew into the golem, knocking it to the ground and, with a wild squeal, ripped its head off, beginning to pulverise it into dust. Once he was done, Irresponsible had to catch his breath before the mask returned to normal and the fanged maw disappeared.

How...cool they were.

I completely forgot that I had to fight my own monster as well. I shoot two strands of webbing at the golem and pull it into the ground, but it barely budges.

It's so heavy.

I change tactics.

I jump up, and I corkscrew the monster in the chest. But it only backs off a little.

Am I getting a level one boss?!

- Shall we help him? - asks Nerd.

- 'Nah,' replies Irresponsible, sitting down on a rock.

Maybe an electric web...

- 'He's made of stone,' says the Weeping Man, as if unintentionally, loudly.

Devil. Okay.

I shoot out a web, roll under the golem and run around it in a circle, trying to bind it tightly. Leaving the enemy in a straitjacket of webbing, I unleash my claws. I jump up and try to cut his head open.

It went easier with the claws, but he's still pretty tough.

The ringing of the spider's gut made me raise my head sharply.

The monster began charging a beam of dark energy.

A volley that could have pulverised me was stopped by the combined shot of the webs of my older versions. They pulled the golem towards them.

The nerd struck the monster with a fist that glowed with yellow-white energy. Irresponsible, in turn, attacked with a dense symbiotic outgrowth.

The Spider's attack crushed the golem's head.

- Wow, I can only marvel.

- Thank you. Don't be ashamed, kid. These guys are dense, and you're just a kid. When you're older, you'll pound them like peanuts," Zanuda encouraged me.

- All right, girls, you'll spit on each other later. We have to go, - said Irresponsible, moving in a direction known only to him.

Zanuda followed, and I had no choice but to follow them.

We walked through this strange space for twenty minutes, and no one said anything.

- You're going to tear up," the Cloakman began.

- They're eyeless, aren't they? Demons from the Dark Dimension. So Dormammu is behind all this? But how? And your limbs, Doc Ock's technology? How did the cloak dissolve and the rucksack appear? What's that strange energy in your hand? Were you trained in Kun-Lun? And the Irresponsible One, is that Carnage?

- And the dam has burst," the Spider in the symbiotic suit noted sarcastically.

- Let's go in order. Yes, the manipulators are created by the technology of Otto Octavius, by the way, they are very useful, I advise you after the meeting with Ock to immediately dismantle the technology and make yourself the same, they will come in handy. Anticipating your question, he didn't steal our bodies.

- I killed my Octopus after the third battle," Red commented, "you shouldn't have gathered the Sinister Six against me.

- Yeah. Cloak, backpack and all, it's a suit - unstable molecules combined with nanobots, co-developed with Reed Richards. That energy, it's not an iron fist, don't think. Just a parting gift from Uni-Seal.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- I'm not Carnage, by the way. The symbiote's consciousness has been erased, but if I take sudden, serious damage, the suit can... let's call it muscle memory. Just don't piss, I won't eat your brains. And don't ask questions about what's going on here. I'll just say it's not Dormammu, that's all.

- OK, where are we going?

- We have things to do, and we need to get you home. And to do that, we need to recharge our bracelets," Zanuda waved his wrist.

- Is that a time machine?

- It's a portable multiverse transporter, directly connected to the Web of Destiny, it's cool. The time machine is integrated, by the way," replied Irresponsible.

- Web of Destiny, no kidding? So you're from the spider squad fighting the Inheritors? Has this arc started yet?

- What? Where the fuck did you even get that shit from? It didn't fucking bother you when Zanuda said we're versions of the same person from different time streams, branches of the same dimension, you fucking degenerate!

- ...

- It's complicated, Pete," Stilyaga shakes his head, "and don't get mad at Irresponsible, he's been through a lot of bad stuff in his reality.

- Stop spouting your pious bullshit. To put it plainly, mate, he's a good fucking version of you, who's been lucky, got all sorts of goodies like a suit, was an Avenger, etc. etc. etc.

- You were an Avenger?! - I look at Nerd in shock.

- A founding member. I was there when Loki attacked New York. The team took a liking to you and you joined without Shield patronage.

- And me, your evil version. An assassin, a loner, a loner who's forsaken the hero's path and crippled even my allies if they got in my way. A warrior, completely caught up in the maelstrom of his passions.

- Wow, what the hell happened to you?

- Trust me, kid, you're too small to understand.

- You check it out.

- Pete... - Nerd tried to say something, but Irresponsible stopped him.

- Really? You think you can handle any information about my life?

- I think you had your reasons...

- All right. Here's a little background. I was married to Mary Jane and she gave me a beautiful daughter. I know you're thinking of Mayday Parker, but no. Our baby was Annie Parker. I don't know why, maybe fate. Then Mary died.

- I'm sorry.

Irresponsible, didn't even notice my remark.

- So it was just the two of us, the father and his little girl. I tried to move on, of course: I slept with Felicia, Natasha, Carol. My longest relationship was with, would you believe it, Wanda Maximoff. The witch was a firecracker. But it didn't last. My love for Mary never went away. And Annie was still my guiding light. I was always there for her. The perfect father. But the girl started to grow up and every year she started to look more and more like her mum. You feel where this is going?

- Okay, enough.

- I remember it all happened when she turned sixteen. That year was also the tenth anniversary of Mary's death. I was angry almost all the time and rarely sober. She had come back from her birthday party and was tipsy. I was about to go on an all-out rampage but when I saw her I just froze, she looked so much like her mother that even my features blurred that night.

- Stop....

- The funniest part was when she realised I wasn't looking at her as a daughter but as a woman. That disbelief...nothing else in my life has ever given me such pleasure.

- Shut up...

- And when I learnt to jump through other realities in the future, I got a hobby. I travelled to other dimensions and slept with alternate versions of my daughter. How funny it is when they think the Pope is just visiting.....

- Shut your mouth!

Thoughtlessly lunging at the older Spider.

- Does it really hurt your eyes? - I know what thoughts are crawling around in your head, admit it, you want to take the idea into consideration?

- You sick bastard! - I try to punch Spider, but Red just nails me to the cliff with a symbiotic limb.

- I bet you're thinking, "If he could navigate alternate realities, why didn't he fuck alternate versions of M.J.?" What can I say, once you've tasted the forbidden fruit, it's so hard to stop.

- Why is he alive?! - You heard what he was doing, why didn't you stop him?

- Honestly? It's his choice. Why meddle in each other's private affairs? - shrugs his shoulders.

- You're both insane! - I exclaim in amazement.

- It's hypocritical to say that. Wipe your snot. Me and the Nerd are variations of you and your future. Let's not pretend you wouldn't be me if you hadn't been through some shit. Heard about a little incestuous obsession with your daughter and swam, really? Weak.

- Really, Pete, we've seen wilder spider versions, like gay....

- Please don't.

- It's too late, they've already figured it out. You can't cut it out now.

- They?

- So you don't know yet? - The irresponsible one stared straight ahead," Never mind, you'll understand when you grow up.

- How old are you two? - It was necessary to clarify the point.

- You're changing the subject a bit abruptly. Are you thinking about the eternal?

- I just want to know how much time I have to change things before I become...you.

- Well, dream on," Red Spider lets me go. - I'm thirty-nine and Nerd is forty-two.

- So there's time...

- It's not all bad, kid. But I'm one of the strongest Spiders in the future," Zadira pats me on the back.

- Yeah, yeah," I throw a look of reasonable doubt.

- You don't believe me? Nerd?

- He's right.

- Really?!

- This suit isn't all it's cracked up to be.

- Let me give you a short list," Red starts flexing his fingers, "trained in the magical arts by Doc Strange; absorbed the Uni-Power of Captain Universe, so Zanuda's residual spark is a breeze, nothing more; can safely lift all Mjolnir from any alternate reality, since I've long since crossed the threshold where Odin's magic can be impressive; oh, I can fly.

- Bullshit.

- I'm offended," Irresponsible raised his hands to his head in a feigned gesture of 'ala upset feelings'.

- I saw you get shot by that Eyeless Man and that either you, or your suit, or both of you... whatever! The point is, I saw you lose control. No explanation for this "freak accident".

- What fun is it to be an omnipotent deity who can wipe your opponents into dust with the flick of a pinky and do it all the time? - philosophises the Spider in the symbiotic suit.

- I have to take a break from you, - I break away at a certain distance and approach Stilyaga, - can he really do all that?

- Of course not, we're just playing a joke on you.

- Ha! I knew it!

- Or...

- Are you kidding me? - I'm looking at Nerd with a stern look.

- Never mind.

- ARGHHHH! All right, at least tell me your story. I feel dirty after Irresponsible.

- There's not much to tell. Spider's been a spider for 26 years. Married. Two kids, girls. I keep waiting for Mary or Felicia to give me an heir. But they don't want to get pregnant at the same time. Avenger. Recently opened a branch of Parker Industries in Japan.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Rewind the film. What about getting pregnant at the same time?

- Mm? Fey and MJ. Felicia got pregnant originally and Mary only got pregnant after Felicity was born. Now the girls want to carry the babies together. They have a thing. I'm still waiting for my son.

- You're married to Mary and Felicia? At the same time?

- Oh, I know, it's weird. A lot of people in my time stream still have no idea how we did it. But a fact is a fact. Jealous?

- I'd like to kick you in the teeth.

- I understand," Nerd commented with a chuckle.

- Hey, we're here! - shouts Irresponsible, jumping over the hill.

Weepycat and I follow.

I climb over the sandy embankment, and I see a vast area with a huge statue of the Spider, flanked by two portals in the form of a black spider web against the glittering space.

- Impressive, isn't it?

- This is the Web of Destiny?

- Just a staging area. In case you haven't realised, we're not in some alternate world, this is the Timeless Zone. The only way out of here is through these portals or our bracelets.

- And the spider statue?

- The boss transmits energy through it, which recharges our bracelets. Actually, they have a self-healing battery, but since you need to get back to your place in a hurry, we'll have to draw from the source. Although the boss really doesn't like that.

- Boss?

- You think me and Zanuda are so all-powerful that we're travelling the multiverse on our own initiative? Of course, there's a bigger fish above us.

- Who is he?

- You still wouldn't believe me if I told you, and frankly, it's not your story yet.

- Okay... by the way, Nerd, why did you come to my world, what were you looking for?

- The formula.

- Formula?

- Get your parents' backgrounds straight when you get back, seriously.

- Why do you need it?

The older versions looked at each other.

- Tell him?

- What's the point? He won't remember any of it anyway.

- What? What do you mean I won't remember?!

- Sorry, kid, we don't affect that, you're just not supposed to remember these events until a certain point.

- Okay, but you don't think you can bring me here, tell me so much about a possible future and seriously expect me to let me erase those memories, do you? - I'm starting to feel a tingling sensation in the back of my neck.

- Sorry, kid, that's not your call.

The adult versions of me synchronously shoot out webs, I try to dodge, but they're much faster. The spiders pull me in and strike me from both sides with their fists.

And then there's darkness.

Same here.

Variations of our Peter Parker.

- Aren't we a little rough on him?

- It's okay. You know our carcass has been through worse.

- Still, it's like an unhealthy form of sadomasochism.

- I didn't say that," said the Irresponsible One, rising, "what's next?

- Take the boy and bring him to the statue.

Irresponsible threw the younger man over his shoulder and followed Zanuda, who was reloading his bracelet. The spider in the symbiotic suit began to do the same.

Cloaked Man, looked at him with a stern look that could be felt even through his mask.

- What, you feel like mopping up the Timeless Zone for the next seven hours? Personally, I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about the kid's story and would rather rest somewhere. How about land 12-9888-17? Annie's got a clone thing going on there. Oh, I'm going to have a blast in a gangbang.

- Please keep your comments about your proclivities to yourself," says the Nerd, sighing.

- You're jealous.

- I'm happily married.

Both men's bracelets made a pleasant squeaking sound.

- What will happen to the bloke?

- I'll save him some of the general vibe. Let him start digging into his parents' past, it's helpful.

- By the way, are you sure the formula will work?

- Yes. And then you can use your powers to the fullest.

- That's great. I've missed the feeling of flying. Well, without the web.

- I got it.

The nerd swiped over the temples of his young version, erasing his memory.

- Finished.

- Then send it.

The spider in the stylish suit channelled his silver spider bracelet and a lilac emission brought the young version of Peter Parker back to his time.

- Great, now onto the carpet. I hope the boss doesn't get mad.

- You think he'll find out?

- You think there's anything to stop him?

- Fair enough, - Irresponsible puts a hand on his mirror version's shoulder and they teleport to another location.

***

Peter Parker's bedroom. Middle of the night.

I jump up.

Why does my face hurt so much?

Wasn't I in the lab?

I feel like I've forgotten something.

- What?