Chapter 9.

My parents were still in town as we all prepared for the funeral. Dressed in all black I held one of many of Melo's picture in my hand. My baby was so damn handsome. Carmelo Demerol Belies was of the Puerto Rican descent. Hence his name honestly. He had a fair complexion, his eyes were black and glossy, and his hair was jet black curly and long. Melo also had a lot of tattoos. The ones I would kiss all over when I was in the mood to take it there with him. All the time when we would be out people would often compare him to Post Malone. I always thought he looked like the better version. He didn't have face tattoos though but damn he was fine as hell. As we all got done getting ready it was time to get in the car and head over to the church for his home going service. My mom and dad was in the car with me. The silence could kill me. Making it to the church we parked and headed inside the building. Finding a good spot not to close to the front my parents and I sat together. The coffin was closed casket and a big picture of Carmelo was placed on top of it. I was unaware he got shot in his head. Truth be told I wish nobody even said anything to me about that at all. Music was playing low as the church filled up with his family and friends who knew him from growing up together. I didn't know any of them due to the fact Melo was somewhat private and didn't want me to know certain parts of his life. Well it was all coming out now he was gone. Moments later the pastor stood up and gave us a sermon followed by a song. "Thank you for being here today. I want to quickly thank everyone in our large, loving community who have helped us in so many ways over the past weeks. Your help, your conversation, your laughs, and your hugs have kept us all strong during this time of grief. As you all come up and speak your peace be mindful to keep it brief and respectful." Shortly after people spoke. "Hey my name is Rick. I grew up with Carmelo from middle to high school. He was a cool dude. When he left town I was bummed. I felt alone because he always hung with me , and he would stick up for me all the time. I got to see him one time as an adult and he told me how proud of me he was. How lucky of a man I was for being married with kids and told me one day it would be him." Rick cried and left from the stage. Then some random chick walked up there. I adjusted myself this should be interesting. "Hello fam. Many of you know me to be Carmelo's first love Alyssa. Everyone knew how I felt about Carmelo. I remember he used to beat up all the boys who would try me. I got picked on a lot for many reasons I wish not to even share. He had a big heart that's for sure. I never thought he'll graduate and leave our hometown. We had plans on going to college together. Then he told me some guy name Giovanni had recruited him elsewhere. I was so hurt and now this. I didn't want him to go from the beginning. Now I’ll never get the chance to see him again!" Alyssa walked off the stage in tears. I thought her speech was cute. I was glad she spoke but that name sounded so familiar to me. Next up to the stage was Melo's parents. Harold wiped Ava's tears as she stood in front of us. "When my husband and I found out that I was pregnant with Carmelo it was like a miracle. I was well over thirty and didn't even know I could produce a child. The doctors told us I was high risk and that one of us wasn't going to make it. That boy flipped and turned inside me like he was living in a club. I went through hell to say the least. Once he came he was so sweet and loving. It was well worth it. Holding him I told him I loved him and promised to be the best mother to him. Much like all kids he grew up. Made a few mistakes but he was human. Good or bad his father and I supported him with no judgment. I just can't believe that I'm standing in this church about to bury my only child Carmelo Belies. Our golden child loved by many , also hated by most. The tears you see me cry is not for pain but for joy. My son fought a lot on this earth and now he's finally in peace." Ava said wiping her face. "I just want to add that we love you son. I'm so speechless I've been a wreck. I promised my wife she could do all the talking my heart is still hurting for my boy my only boy." Mr.Belies said in tears. "It's okay baby now we would like for Rein to come up and speak. Please we'll appreciate it." Ava said throwing me for a loop. My mom hugged me and I got up to speak in front of people I didn't know. Alyssa eyes were dead on me. "I'm not prepared for this but I guess I'll speak from the heart." Amen everyone said still watching me. "I often ask myself how would I ever get over someone I was with for eight years. I've had family and friends tell me constantly it's going to be okay. I know those words are supposed to be comforting but only they haunt me. I've heard Melo tell me that all the time. It's crazy how he would find the strength to keep me sane while he was falling apart in front of my eyes. A lot took place before his death. I knew it was something wrong. It got to a point where he didn't even want to go home. Melo would be happy anywhere else. Like his parents house where he felt safe. I knew a lot of stuff he went through parts he shared with me. Even knowing I never judged him once. A few days before he was gunned down in front of our home he proposed to me. See nice ring right? Only I can't even enjoy it because he's not even here to say a vow, I do, give me a kiss, or hug, go on a honeymoon nothing. The day he passed in the hospital I was admitted the same day I fainted from stress. Only to find out I was 6 weeks pregnant when I woke up. It's like god sent a million feet to step on my heart at once. We talked about kids , building our family. It's killing me to even be standing here with y'all today. Holding back the tears I've cried over and over again. We didn't get to enjoy the times we planned for. It was ripped away from me. Apart of me feel guilty because had I just stayed at his parents house he would be here. All I wanted was to sleep in my own bed in my own house. I was selfish I ignored the red flags. When he died I did too, but only I have to live to keep our baby alive. What do I tell my child? Oh guess what your dad dead he had a bullet go through his head. My child have to grow up and when it does I'm going to have to answer to my child. No one here feel my pain but the parents of Melo. I just hope my fiancé can Rest In Peace. Because everyday I'm still on this earth without him I will not." I got down and walked to his coffin then kissed his picture. Everyone was in tears. As they carried his body out we all left out the church. Riding to the graveyard for his grave sight I couldn't take it no more. I was throwing up. I couldn't watch his body be buried in the ground. I cried and threw up all over. My mom was with me talking me through it. I'm over it! I'm over it!