Chapter 2

"What am I doing with my life?", Tara found herself asking while waiting for the car in front of hers to move. She was startled to find herself asking this because for the last decade of her life, all she had cared about was to live through each day and tried her best not to think of the larger questions of life. Her mother often claimed that she had no purpose and lacked vitality, and that was not far from the truth.

Tara looked at herself in the rearview mirror of her old sedan and scowled. She bared her teeth and muttered," I shouldn't be doing this and if I do this I will regret it. " But she had already decided to go to her Mom's place for the weekend and there was no turning back, not even literally with the gridlock blocking movement in any direction.

Tara would not admit it, but deep down she knew that she was still the ten year old girl who was terrified of her mother. She always has been. And the thought that she would be spending a week with her mother sent cold chill through her body. She knew she did not hate her mother, but there was something about their relationship that was just not right.

Her mother Naomi and Tara has always been like water and oil; they do not match well, especially so after Tara's father's disappearance.

"I am a twenty-nine year old woman and I am in control of my own life," Tara said to herself in a low but cold tone and gripped the steering wheel. For the next twenty minutes she listened to the old country songs blasting from the radio and focused her mind on the old Grange-her ancestral home.

The only reason she was visiting her Mom was because Naomi had decided to sell the old Grange, which belonged to her father. Tara will travel to the Grange with her Mom on Monday to clean up the place and pack anything they thought they needed and send the remaining to the thrift store or to the trash.

Neither Tara, nor Naomi were able to visit, let alone live in that place after Tara's father left and Tara would not let her mother rent the place. Therefore the only solution was to sell it and Tara allowed it only after her Mom's continued attempt to persuade her for the last two years.

"This is exactly what I need. To let go of the past so that I can live in the present and look forward to the future." Tara declared to herself. These were not her words exactly, but her close friend Joan's, who often advise her to not get stuck in the past. Not that Tara listens; she and her mother had more similarities than she would care to admit.

The rush hour traffic was taking a toll on Tara, and the fact that it was the weekend was not helping. The whole city seemed to be moving towards the suburbs and Tara felt all her energy seeping away from her. She felt uncomfortable and jittery for no reason and attributed it to the fact that she was meeting Naomi for the first time in six months after their colossal fight during Easter.

Tara wondered for the umpteenth time if the whole journey was worth it. Her thought process seemed to be moving in a cycle as is often the case in stressful situations. But her father's face suddenly filled her vision and somehow that helped in calming her frayed nerves. She took a deep breath and focused her thought on the old Grange which used to be her home for many years and manoeuvred her car skillfully through the city roads to her Mom's place.