Chapter 28

"As a person who regularly seeks out dangerous monsters to catalog and study I can say with confidence walking into the lair of a former spymaster turned crime lord does not seem like the best decision… though I must admit a bath sounds lovely right now." Ivar noted as I caught him up on events at the barber shop on the way to Sigi's Bathhouse.

"It's not exactly an invitation I can turn down right now, and given what we are likely to walk into up ahead I could do with more details I might not know about. I don't even know how long the war in that section of the Pontar Valley even lasts after all." I grumbled a bit as we made our way through the Gildorf district of the city on foot, passing by the local social elite even as I few either glared at me or made sure to get quickly out of my way. "I just hope that Sigi doesn't have a no pet policy, maybe pay for a private bath so you can give Dogmeat a little scrub down."

The puppy only tilted her head in confusion at my words. I hoped she was the type of dog that actually liked being bathed.

We soon found ourselves walking down some steps and up to the fancy entrance of the bathhouse. I knocked on the door and quickly found it answered by a pudgy and fat-necked man.

"Greetings, Mister Witcher. I'm Happen and my master is waiting in his office to meet with you, which I will guide you to shortly. He did not say anything about your guest however." Happen said as he looked towards Ivar.

"He's just here to get a bath while me and your boss talk. If I buy him a private one can he bring in the dog?" I asked while gesturing to Dogmeat.

"It… is normally against the rules to allow animals in. However, since the bath would be private and cleaned out afterwards there should be no issue. I do ask that you make sure the dog does not disturb any of our other patrons and bathe with dog hair at your own risk."

"Splendid! I prefer to clean myself in private anyhow. I'm not one to talk and wash. Come fetch me when you are done Markus and I hope your meeting goes well." Ivar said as he and Dogmeat walked into the dressing area.

I turned to Happen and then gestured towards him. "Lead on."

He nodded and then walked in the opposite direction away from the bathing area and instead towards Sigi's office I recall from the game. He opens the door for me and I walk in to see the man in question sitting at his desk and reading over something before he quickly covers it and looks up at me.

"Nice place you got here. I encourage any establishment that has people caring more about their hygiene in general. Looks pretty classy as well." I complimented and it wasn't even sarcastic since I was sure this place raked in lots of money.

"Thanks. Make sure not to get your nose dirty while kissing my ass - you just cleaned it, after all." Ah, Djikstra - as charming as ever, I see.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. You couldn't have warned me about the wax?"

"No."

OK.

"I figured out what you warned me about, Ivar gave me a few details but he doesn't know much about the political situation of countries outside of Kovir. Still, I'm kinda on a deadline to get to where I'm going before winter sets in so it looks like I will have to navigate myself through said dick waving contest. Was there something else you wanted to drop on me or did you want payment for the information? I got the coin in a bank account after all to spare if you got anything else you're willing to sell." I offered.

"No, you don't need to pay me. I wanted to get an idea of just how much you know and remember. Besides, telling you about how you're walking into a war zone is just common fucking courtesy." Sigi leaned back in his chair, taking me in. "I've known a Witcher or two in my time; one of them is why I walk with a knee brace. You're nothing like the ones I've met. That intrigues me."

"Maybe the blow to my head fixed whatever makes us the emotionless killing machines people say we are, your guess is as good as mine. Part of the reason I'm checking up with my sister guild to look me over since as far as I know the Griffin School is dissolved at this point even if a few members are on the Path out there in the world."

Sigi nodded. "I heard about the avalanche that took out your keep. Fuckin' tragedy is what it was. Your group is the reason people can walk the roads in Kovir without being mauled by griffins." He sighed before fixing his gaze on me. "So tell me what you figured out. I want to compare your knowledge to my own - if you missed anything, I can fill in the gaps."

So I did, I honestly said how I didn't know much other than the fact the conflict was just one of many over countless generations to control the Upper Pontar between the two kingdoms since it was a breadbasket region. I also shared how I was pretty sure that the two heroes were going to be leading the opposing armies, the Visitor Vandergrift for the Kaedweni and Seltkirk of Gulet for Aedirn. All in all it promised to be a bloody war in general if it wasn't fought quickly.

"And that is the sum of it. I can't tell you much else about details like history, nobles beyond kings, and stuff like that." I shrugged.

For the first time since I'd met him, Sigi seemed surprised. "I knew Seltkirk was there. But Vandergrift? I had no clue he was going to be leading Hensalt's army. Somebody's head is going to roll for missing that detail. He fucking hates Seltkirk and if he is there only one of them is going to leave the field alive, assuming either does at all." He muttered something under his breath about 'bloody useless field agents'. "This could change the entire balance of power in that region. Good to know." He glared at me. "How did you know he was going to be there?"

"It's like I said earlier, things come back in flashes when I see or hear certain things though I sometimes can't explain how things connect or the source of it. I didn't even recall the conflict until you brought it up and it suddenly came to me. Maybe I learned the details somehow from my time in Kovir since if anyone will bankroll anyone else in Northern Kingdoms it's Kovir." I bluffed.

Sigi frowned. "Convenient. Still, it helps me out. That's a bit of intel I didn't know. I don't like owing people anything, so here's something for you. Check out Oxenfurt if you have time. I used to study there, and their library and scholars might have something to help you better understand your condition. Maybe poking around will uncover a few memories if what you say about those sudden flashes is true."

Huh, that was… actually a good idea. I couldn't spend a whole lot of time there but since I only knew the Witcherverse only from the narrow lenses of books and games focused around Geralt it would be to my benefit to know more since I was actually here. If nothing else it would be important to know more about the political situation of the Northern Kingdoms in general so I knew what to watch out for beyond major events that could potentially change.

Also, maybe they had useful knowledge I could use later on… the professor who studied O'Dimm should be alive and any knowledge on how to avoid him was always useful. On the other hand, talking to the scholar might bring me to Gaunter's attention in the first place. Crap. Catch-22.

Either way, it wouldn't be the worst detour to take. Considering that I needed to travel up the Pontar in the first place, it didn't even count as that much of a detour, inasmuch as it was less time on a river barge.

"Now that you mention it that would be a good idea. Thanks for bringing it up, I'm sure Ivar would love to visit the university and mingle with his equals. Anything else before we part ways amicably and, no offense, hopefully never see each other again?"

He shook his head. "Nothing from me at this time. Feel free to take a bath before you leave. It's on the house." Sigi stood up and made for the door as if to leave.

"One thing," I said. Sigi paused. "Why are you helping me? You don't know me , and, if I may be honest, it's not like you have any real reason to love Witchers."

Sigi scoffed. "Who knows? Maybe I'm going soft in my old age. Maybe I'm a bleedin' romantic. Maybe I just want to get you out of my town without you carving through half the city. Take your pick." He finished as he left his office and I saw Happen standing in the doorway.

"Would you like to partake of our baths? The private one for your friend will be covered of course." he asked politely.

I wasn't much of a bath guy… but there was one thing I always wanted to try back home and this place might have it.

"Does this place have a sauna?" I asked hopefully.

"Indeed we do. You are, however, required to take a bath before visiting it. It is part of the process."

"Fair enough, guess that means I'll be joining Ivar and Dogmeat then." I said as I walked past him and Happen got a confused look on his face.

A quick pass through the dressing room to undress and put a towel around my waist, and I was ready to go. A young woman proceeded to lead me to Ivar and along the way I tried to keep my eye contact above the waist as I saw men walking around free-balling it, which given the culture makes sense - but even so! I still had my American sensibilities, darn it!

We made our way through the public bath area and I quickly pushed open the door to the private room to find Ivar and Dogmeat soaking in a stone bath set into the floor. Dogmeat looked like she was having the time of her life doing doggy paddles around the pool! So cute!

"Markus! I trust the meeting went well on account of neither of us being dead?" Ivar raised a dripping arm in greeting as I lowered myself into the bath, towel still on since I was self-conscious dammit! At least Dogmeat paddling over to me made it a little better. She nuzzled my arm, but refrained from licking me.

"Yeah, we can enjoy the bath for free and leave the city without worrying about being jumped… by Sigi's people at least. Hard to believe but he is not even the worst crime lord in this town, more like tied for second worst."

"Oh… that is lovely." Ivar responded a little nervously.

"But you'll be happy to know we will be making a little detour on our trip. Namely since I realize how narrow my knowledge really is of the world I think a week or so in Oxenfurt wouldn't be out of the question. How's that sound to you?" I asked as I laid my back against the bath wall.

"Excellent! I can turn in my latest papers for the Oxenfurt Quarterly and pick up my research stipend! So much for xenobiology being an 'insignificant field of study'," Ivar said in a mocking tone. He continued, "I even have a few colleagues there I can introduce you to if you are interested who are more open-minded!" He paused for a moment, a gleam entering his eyes.

Uh-oh…

"Say! How would you feel about providing a guest lecture or two while you're there? I'm sure you have a great deal to share on the topic of monsters, alchemy, and magic, barring Witcher secrets of course." He asked with puppy dog eyes. Where did he learn to do that?! Dogmeat, did you teach him your secrets?!

Then again… Vesemir did complain in the game how modern day scholars were producing hogwash about monsters compared to his day… And didn't Geralt moonlight as a guest lecturer a time or two?

"Alright, I guess there is nothing wrong sharing knowledge others can make good use of… but I reserve the right to punch in the face every scholar who asks to dissect me, to drink or eat things to prove a theory, to produce 'samples' for studies, or anything along those lines." I stated. Geralt had to deal with that shit way too much.

Ivar snickered. "Oh? In that case, I really do need to introduce you to a couple of my more obnoxious colleagues" he said with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

"Guess that settles it. Now, the lovely lady said that after I bathe I can enter the sauna and then repeat the process a few times for the best result. Wish me luck, I might have to hang out with some assholes with their dicks on display." I grumbled as I made my way out of the tub.

"Hmm? Do people not do that where you're from? It's quite the tradition here. Or did you think I wore a towel in the bath?" Ivar questioned. Unlike yourself, went unspoken.

"Lets just say where I grew up most people liked to make cleaning themselves a private thing. Also, I avoided looking down as much as possible."

"So innocent! Are all Witchers so sheltered?" Ivar jested.

"No, most are weirdly horndogs. They really get around." I said, recalling the, ahem, 'exploits' of Geralt, Eskel, Lambert, and even Vesemir as recounted in the series.

Old guy had game.