Say My Name

CAMERON

The party unfolded with relative ease, though I spent most of it laying low. The only bright spot was the conversation I shared with her.

I regret not asking for her name, but I settled on mentally dubbing her the beauty from the garden. Her dark brown eyes, high cheekbones, and a delicate delicate nose were etched in my memory, along with the image of her captivating smile. Despite the softness of her voice, there was a familiarity that stirred within me, hinting that I might have encountered it before.

I felt a pang of disappointment when she had to depart, and upon returning to the party in search of her, she had vanished without a trace.

However, upon my return, I was bombarded with drinks and coerced into taking numerous shots, which left me bent over the toilet in the early hours of the following morning. Neil's night hadn't fared any better; apparently, a girl he invited made off with one of his expensive watches after a trip to his bedroom.

Considering he was already well into his cups before my party began, the girl saw an opportunity and seized it, leading to me reluctantly revisiting a place I had vowed never to return to—the Den of Desires.

As I hesitantly stepped through the door, apprehension gnawing at me, I spotted Neil at a table near the back, nursing a glass of hard liquor. Surprisingly, a wave of excitement washed over me, despite my earlier reservations.

"You sure you should be drinking, after all that is what landed you in a situation of having your watch stolen," I chastised eyeing the nearly empty glass.

"I have others," he replied waving his hand dismissively. Clenching my jaw, I felt my annoyance rise at his words. Even though I had grown up with a silver spoon in my mouth, I was never careless with it unlike Neil who oftentimes didn't appreciate the value of money. His excessive spending as well as notorious reputation had my father disapproving our friendship and led Neil's father to take drastic measures to tame him.

But I feared his father's actions only made Neil worse.

"So why did you give me a sob story that you're upset. It's the only reason why I bothered coming down here."

"Deep down you wanted to be here, I bet you're hoping to see that stripper," he gave me a knowing smile and my expression hardened.

"No –"

"Save the lies for your father, you might judge me for my life choices but at least I'm honest about what I want and go for it. I don't spend my existence living on the sidelines allowing life to pass me by unlike you," he accused.

Opening my mouth to rebut the claims, my mind was blank, and I was stuck, unable to say a thing.

"The truth got your tongue, huh?"

Scrunching up my face at the annoyance I felt I replied in a harsh tone, "I didn't choose to be like this."

"Look I get it you went through a lot, I've been there for you trying to be patient and understanding but life goes on regardless, and as much as I can sit here and say you're still not fine, I can tell you're hungry to experience life, but you're so used to just going through the motions that you're too scared to just allow yourself to fucking feel. You're not a robot, Cam, I know part of you wouldn't want you living like this so stop it."

Well damn...

Slumping back in my seat, I stared at him in disbelief, Neil disconnected our eyes to stare at the stage and mumbled, "What, I can be deep."

Releasing a deep chuckle, I admit his words struck an unexpected chord. I had been in denial over my change of behaviour after Julianne but I had to come to terms with the fact that I had deprived myself of a lot of things.

"Your girl is on stage," he nodded his head in the direction of the stage.

And when my eyes landed on the familiar curvaceous silhouette, I was reminded of exactly what I had deprived myself of.

***

"You're back," the voice moved down my spine causing me to shiver in my seat.

Tonight, she wore black lingerie, and I could feel my mouth going dr. After saying goodbye to Neil who decided to call it an early night, I decided to push away the embarrassment and paid for a private dance. 

Licking my lips, I kept my gaze trained on her mask, if I kept looking at her body, I wouldn't be able to form a single coherent thought, "Well, I couldn't hide forever."

She nodded her head and smirked turning around to press play on the stereo. Growing anxious at the song playing, I mentally braced myself for the seductive torment of her hips swiveling sensually. Instead of going for the pole she sashayed over to me and stood before me. 

Once again, I felt somewhat inadequate under her intense gaze and this time, I allowed my eyes to roam hungrily over her form, but it was the sight of something on her wrist that had my eyes widening. Without a second thought I reached out and allowed my fingers to wrap around her wrist tugging her closer to me, she took a seat on my lap and chuckled darkly, "You sure you want me on your lap afte –"

"You're the girl from the party."

A moment or two of silence passed, her expression remained unreadable, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Your tattoo," I murmured lifting her left wrist, "I've seen it before. You're the girl from the party, the one I met in the garden."

"I think you have me mistaken fo –"

"What's your name?" I breathed leaning forward only to have her shove me back, her expression turned sour, her lips once in a smile were downturned and her body had grown tense. 

"Are you deaf? I told you I don't know what you're talking about, and you have me mistaken," she sneered attempting to get off, I boldly placed my arm around her waist firmly keeping her in place.

"Deny all you want but I had a pretty good look at that tattoo at the party and when I heard your voice, I knew I heard it from somewhere. There's no one else in here..." I breathed allowing my eyes to observe every move she made, "I just want to know your name," I kept my tone even and steady maintaining a calm expression as I looked into her eyes. It was hard to tell what she was thinking and now that I knew the beauty she possessed under that mask I reached up to grab it.

She gripped my hand mid-air and her lips morphed into a frown, "No."

"Why? I've already seen it before," I reasoned tightening my grip around her when she attempted to move away. 

Despite what I said she shook her head, I nearly pouted and decided not to push the matter regarding the mask any further, but I did want to know her name.

"May you please tell me your name, mine's Cameron."

She looked away as if in deep thought as she bit her bottom lip and a part of me wanted to bite that lip for her as I waited patiently for her next move. 

Reconnecting her eyes with mine she replied, "Alright... I'll tell you my name," she leaned forward placing her face in the crook of my neck to tickle my ear with her breath.

I nearly released a groan at her close proximity and closed my eyes at her sweet smell and waited quietly for her to say her name.

"My name i-"

Startled by the sudden creak of the door, I tensed instinctively. Before I could react, my grip loosened, and she slipped off my lap. Confusion clouded my thoughts as a bouncer seized me by the collar, wrenching me from the couch and hauling me towards the exit.

Panicked cries escaped my lips as I struggled against the forceful eviction. Through the haze of adrenaline, I glimpsed her smirking, her finger poised on a button by the wall where the couch had rested. As I was unceremoniously dragged out, one thing became painfully clear: she'd gotten my kicked out.