Say It

CAMERON

Restlessness consumed me as I paced back and forth in my office, unable to settle into my chair. Each passing minute felt like an eternity, marked only by my incessant glances at the clock.

Anyone observing would have found amusement in my futile attempts to calm myself, murmuring reminders under my breath to relax and breathe. The faint knock at the door interrupted my pacing, prompting me to take a deep breath before granting entry.

Usually, Molly, my assistant, would notify me of any visitors, but given the identity of this particular guest, I had instructed her to allow immediate access upon their arrival.

As the door swung open, my eyes were drawn to a head of curly hair cascading down to just above her bare shoulders. She wore a sundress that effortlessly complemented her curves, swaying with each step she took. In that moment, her presence filled the room, causing my heart to race faster than ever before.

"Hi, Anita," I breathed allowing my lips to lift upwards at the sound her name rolling off my tongue. I had been saying it repeatedly in my head for the past few days. 

She greeted me back and I ushered her to take a seat on the couch. After we both took a seat with me situated across from her, I could still smell the perfume permeating off her skin. This one smelled like jasmine and was a lot different to the type she wore the few times we crossed paths. 

"I was pretty surprised to get your call today."

She had been vague on the phone but hearing the insistence in her voice to see me, turned me into a nervous wreck.

"Well, I do still owe you."

Cocking my head to the side, my eyes narrowed at the statement that admittedly felt odd to hear, "I already paid for the damage."

The moment the words slipped out of my lips; a part of her jaw ticked as her own orbs turned to slits making me stiffen in my seat. "Which brings me to the reason I'm here, why?"

Scrunching my face, I couldn't help but ask, "Why what?"

"Pay for the damage when I clearly owe you, I was the one at fault."

"You seemed to be going through a lot on that day and I didn't mind.'

My response contained part of the truth, but when her nostrils flared, I had a feeling my answer didn't appease her. 

"I don't know what impression I've given you in all the times we saw each other but I don't need your pity."

My eyes widened and if I could, I would smack myself for clearly making her upset. But I didn't mean to make it seem like I was pitying her. 

I kept quiet for a few seconds trying to figure out what to say, after all the next set of words were important in determining what direction this conversation would go. "I didn't mean to make you think that, honestly, I just... I don't know decided to just pay the damage without really thinking about it, I know it doesn't make sense," I nervously chuckled shifting in my seat, "but that's really it."

Her eyes swept over my form; I was unsure, nervous to know what she must think of me. Standing up without saying a word, she began pacing a bit, I would've laughed under a different circumstance at the fact I too had been doing it just before she came. 

"I'm not here to bite your head off or anything but you need to understand I just don't feel comfortable with strangers just doing things like that especially when nothing in this life is ever really for free," she explained stopping to settle her eyes upon me. 

"I understand and I should have at least informed you of my intentions first."

She didn't say anything for what felt like an eternity, I was close to squirming in discomfort at the blank expression she wore that was directed towards me until she reached up to rub the back of her neck. "How much do I owe you?"

"You don't have to pay me anything."

"Why?" she stressed.

"I already told you wh –"

"It's not the real reason and you know it, Cameron," was the curt response that caused a pleasant flutter in my belly at the sound of my name on her lips. And just hearing it laced in the velvety essence of her voice had a part I had been doing my best to suppress admit that I wanted her to say it.

I wanted her to moan it.

I looked away when my cheeks grew warm, it seemed no matter what, my body's natural response was to lose control. As I mulled over what lie to give, Neil's words entered my head, and although the part of me that was groomed to always play it safe wanted to make an appearance, another part called out to me to stop ignoring my desires. And finally admit it.

"I want you..." the confession came out just above a whisper but from the way her eyes widened slightly, I could tell she had heard me but kept her lips sealed and her silence was enough for me to release a shaky breath as more of my inner thoughts came to the surface, "I want you so bad its begun haunting me at this point... I-I pride myself on being a good person such that I did pay because I saw you weren't okay, but another part just did it cause I like you."

"You don't know me enough to like me, you're infatuated," she scoffed frowning. however, that response did nothing to deter me. 

"Fair point, but I would like to get to know you, be around you..."

Inside you...

My eyes without shame swept over her form but it wasn't until I caught sight of one of her perfectly arched brows lifting that I grew shy and looked away to stare down at the coffee table just in front of me. "It's really up to you..."

Summoning all my courage, I lifted my gaze to meet hers, hoping beyond hope that she shared my feelings. Yet, her past actions offered no hints, leaving me uncertain if our connection held any significance for her. Perhaps, in her world, moments like ours were commonplace, easily dismissed.

My eyes remained fixed on her, anticipating her response. Just as I thought I saw her lips part, she abruptly turned away, departing without a single word.

Left behind, I was left to grapple with the absence of an explanation.