Chapter 5 Excellence or Perfection?

The bell signifying lunch rang shortly.

There had been a lingering coffee breath since the morning assembly.

Shania adjusted uncomfortably on her seat.

"What's with that look?"Jane asked.

Shania rolled her eyes.

"What's that?"

Jane rubbed Shania's back energetically.

"You don't fool me, my friend. I know when something's up between two young people."

Shania gave an exasperated sigh.

She held her breath unconsciously.

Jane leaned on.

"It's been a month already. Plus.."

Shania flinched, her voice bore sarcasm.

"Plus?"

Jane's lips curled up in amusement and a soft laughter spread across her beautiful, round face which made her almond - shaped eyes glitter.

That smirk!

Shania wished she could scratch it off her face.

"Plus I've noticed the way you two stare at each other."

Shania took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Who are you talking about?"

Jane smiled broadly, her eyes could barely be seen.

"Someone's in love. Or is it jealousy?"

"I'm talking about you and Nicole. Do not try to pull the wool over my eyes girl. I can see everything. I saw you two stare at each other when Mary tried adjusting his neck tie after the truth or dare game."

"You know if not that Mary is the clingy type, I'd suggest you and Nicole become a couple. It'd surely suit you two."

Shania felt her stomach knot.

Her heart stumbled over its own rhythm.

Her voice lost its humor. Sarcasm replaced its melody.

"You saw nothing. You're being dramatic."

Jane mumbled. She stomped her foot and smiled viciously.

"Drop the pretentious act. I know what I saw and it is what it is. Listen girl, if you like him, let him know because I can tell you that he's hitting on you too. You should listen to me. I'm an expert in these matters. Silence won't do anything."

Shania gave a big yawn and stretched. She rubbed her eyes and stared into nothing.

"What about you? Don't you feel something for him too. He's good looking and all that."

Jane put her hands in her pocket. She blushed and spoke softly.

Her reddened cheeks became visible.

"Oh, please. Technically, the feeling is gone. And I'm happy with a non complicated life. I think he sees me as a friend and nothing more. I'd rather remain platonic friends with him. Love might ruin everything."

Shania fixed her gaze on Jane. She was unable to move.

She won't wail her balls out.

No!

"What a beautiful speech!"

"If that's the case then stop trying to set me up with Nick."

Jane shrank back. Her lips quivered.

"Are you upset?"

Shania shook her head aggressively.

"I don't want to discuss this."

She gave Jane a dismissive hand waving while inching backwards.

Her head was in a mess.

****

Shania sat upright and faced counselor Lydia who brimmed with anticipation.

"You're most welcome, my dear."

"So, how are you doing? I'm sure you're getting along well."

"There are not much complaints. Everything is good,"Shania replied, her words becoming breathy from laughter.

It seemed surprising how they got along so well.

Counselor Lydia began. She took notes.

"What motivates you? What do you feel passionate about?"

Unease slithered down her spine.

Her words overlapped with her memories.

The only thing that motivated her was something her family wasn't even proud of.

It was a taboo to her father.

"Well, I love writing."

"I have a passion for writing."

Counselor Lydia twirled her pen.

"What do you write about? Fiction? Non-fiction?"Miss Lydia asked.

Shania looked at the calendar in the office.

"Nothing in particular. I can write about anything."

"That's something good. Are there other interests?"

"Do you intend making writing your career?"

"It's always the dream of a few people to make their passion a proffession."

Shania smiled meaningfully.

"I write for the love of it. My dream is to become a medical doctor,"she professed.

"Or a nurse?"miss Lydia added.

"Not a nurse,"Shania pointed out.

Counselor Lydia chuckled.

"Why was there so much revulsion in your voice when I mentioned being a nurse? It's not a bad idea."

Shania moved uncomfortably on her seat. She didn't have a sane answer to counselor Lydia's question.

"You're kidding, aren't you?"

Shania didn't reply.

"These are changing times. Yet, in the middle of all the changes there's one thing that constantly determines success. Some call it leadership. But, it's the single-minded pursuit of excellence. Excellence endures and sustains. It goes beyond motivation into the realms of inspiration. Excellence does not happen in a vacuum. It needs a collective obsession. It's a great starting point but also an unending journey that requires humility."

"Understand the difference between perfection and excellence. It's about going beyond what is expected of oneself.

Excellence is not so much a battle you fight with others, but a battle you fight with yourself, by constantly raising the bar and stretching yourself. This is the most satisfying and challenging part."

"Nursing is a good career choice. Nurses lend a helping hand. They are care givers.

To become a nurse is to become someone who improves and saves the lives of others.

If you're looking for a career where you can put your desire to help others to excellent use, becoming a nurse is an excellent career path for you.Think about it."

Shania opened her mouth and closed it a few times, but no words came out.

"And since you love writing, you should think about joining the press club."

"You could utilize your talent better and impact too."

Shania lowered her eyebrows.

She could feel sweat break out on her forehead.

If only she knew her fears. Consistency remained her problem.

She could be so excited about something this minute and lose the spark the next minute.

****

"Shania, can I visit you?"Jane asked while they walked out of the school, clinging to each other like there had been no fight.

Shania stared.

Her small lips pursed by suppressed fury.

She flagged down a cab.

"Why?"

Jane's eye brows rose in a surprised arc.

"Is that a question? We've been friends for over a month and I don't even know where you live. What's the reason for our friendship?"

"What's happening to you? You've been acting weird lately. You've also developed a bad temper."

Shania shrugged and glanced coldly.

Silence lingered, longer than expected.

The cab pulled its brakes in front of a duplex with adorable purple flowers and trimmed grasses.

*****

Shania and Jane greeted Mrs Jimmy.

"Your house is beautiful," Jane whispered.

A smirk appeared on Shania's lips.

"Mom, she's Jane, my friend at school."

"Jane, she's my mom."

Mrs Jimmy smiled at Jane and nodded with glee.

"Please, sit."

"I'll set the table,"Shania volunteered.

She went into the kitchen and returned with plates of food.

****

"I hope you two are doing well in school,"Mrs Jimmy began after she gulped a cup of water.

"Yes, we are. Shania's incredible. You wouldn't believe she corrected our teacher's mistake. The entire class gasped in awe of her greatness,"Jane announced.

She tried to imitate Shania's tiny voice and put the spoonful of rice in her mouth.

Shania rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"Mom, Jane, if you don't stop talking while you eat, you might choke on your food."

Jane slapped her thigh as she shook with laughter while ignoring her contemptuous glare.

"I'm only speaking to your mom. What's the problem with that?"

Shania remained silent. She kept her gaze downward.

"Go on, Jane,"Mrs Jimmy piped in.

Jane babbled on; the clinking sound of spoons on plates audible.

****

Jane extolled Mrs Jimmy as she dried the plates in the kitchen.

"Your mom has a good sense of humor."

"Tell me about it,"Shania said, sarcastically.

Jane gushed.

"I really enjoyed the time I spent with her." "She's just perfect. She's a nice person."

Shania lowered her eyebrows.

"She's nice a great deal."

She gave an audible sigh.

"I'm sure your family is nice too. I'll love to meet them."

Jane grinned.

"You'll get to meet them soon."

She tapped her finger against her chin and raised her thick eyebrows.

"What about your dad?"

Shania's face suddenly lost its light.

It contorted with rage.

For a moment, Shania seemed lost.

She stared into nothing.

She chortled and looked down as she choked on her breath.

"Don't bother with it."

Jane stood quiet for a moment.

Then suddenly she jumped up and down with a huge grin on her face.

"Guess what?"

Shania turned off the water after rinsing her hands.

Her face seemed to say to Jane that she wanted to hear all she would say.

"I couldn't help but think about gorgeous James. I've been thinking he doesn't know I exist. Besides it's not just me.... he's every girl's dream. I've heard the other girls talk about him all the time."

Shania stared.

"Who's James?"

Jane rubbed her forehead.

"How many times do I have to say it? You've been forgetful lately."

Shania tilted her head.

"Arts or science?"

She still couldn't remember.

"Arts."

"We met him two weeks ago, remember?"

"He's the sports prefect."

Shania pursed her lips.

"Ohhhh....I remember. James Jason?"

"Yessss..."

Shania spread her hands in the air.

"So...what's with him?"

Jane smiled widely.

"We had a conversation.."

Shania strained to hear and spurted water from her mouth onto her clothes.

"What conversation?"

"He wants us to date,"Jane cheered.

Shania stared wide-eyed... speechless.

Her mouth opened but words didn't come out.

"You agreed?"

"Yeah, I did. It's unthinkable not to be dating. Besides it's no fun being by myself.... the other girls said he was the most decent boy I'd ever meet,"Jane divulged.

"What about Nick?"

"What happened to you not wanting a complicated life?"

"Won't your parents find out?"Shania asked, feeling conflicted.

"Nick and I are mere friends."

"Besides, we're dating secretly. I bet they won't find out... not unless someone would snitch on me... and drama queen, life's always complicated,"Jane pointed out and clapped her hands together with a big grin.

Shania swallowed a lump in her throat. Her heart stumbled over its own rhythm.

Words that had been on the tip of her tongue couldn't come out.

She forcefully swallowed them.

What was she even thinking about?

She was supposed to be happy for her friend, wasn't she?

Why was she even trying to talk her out of dating him?

She could have known better; their relationship was indeed fated to wither before it even had a chance to bloom.

He was kind to her; she shouldn't have read much into it because it would hurt her in the end.

She couldn't tell if she felt relieved or disappointed.

She had liked James for a long time.

What was the point?

Now he would be dating her friend, what a bummer.

She had high hopes but it won't be her fault that her desires would be cut off. She couldn't bring herself to talk about what she felt for him.

All her life, everything she had ever wanted either belonged to someone before she realized or was taken.