The learning

Day 42

I got to my feet on tiptoe, but my feet got caught in the cord of my electric guitar. I figured I'd go downstairs and out of the house before my parents began bugging me about the grades from the mock exam I hadn't yet given them.

With the forceful start of my guitar, I had also awakened up the neighbors. So I showered, dressed, put on the jeans and white shirt, the tie with the properly realized but not too tight knot around the neck, gave me my casual style, and drove to school on the rim of my sports car.

I went to the cafeteria at noon to see if Hanna was there. The food was dreadful, consisting of veal and peas.

I sat down at a table and used my phone to place an order that would be delivered in 15 minutes. I walked out of the café and into the courtyard.

The guard was filling a cart with debris that the elevated students had strewn about the yard. He was on his way to the back yard's large rubbish cans, where he was stacking things up. He came over to meet me as soon as he saw me.

"You don't appear to be in good health; what's the matter?"

When I looked down at my feet, I noticed that the shadow in front of me was thick and made up of several others. I'd shown my borrowed shadows how to rake up other people's shadows. My shadow emissaries were attracting dozens of people every day, whether I was in a car or on foot. I had increased my power without even realizing it.

I used to only take the shadows of people, but now I could steal the shadows of cats, dogs, places, and items as well. In all of this, the one thing I couldn't control was myself.

The guard asked, "How long are you going to stare at your feet?"

Hanna was standing in the courtyard's center. Her hair had been restyled. Her ponytail was undone, and her hair hung down to her shoulders.

I had won the election for class president, but I had no idea that Alain had won Hanna's heart. I hadn't seen anything coming, hadn't heard anything of their complicity that was going on behind my back when I was in the front row of the classroom because I was too preoccupied with my own silly shadow problems. Hanna's little ruse of going back a row from week to week whenever she got the chance had escaped my notice. She traded places with Anne and then with Ruth until she accomplished her purpose without anyone noticing.

When I saw her hand take his, I clinched my fingers and used my nails to make a mark on my palms.

The guard said, "Are you in love?"

"She is in love with someone else."

I walked away after the guard bit his lips.

"Stay with me, we haven't finished talking yet."

"Can you tell me what you want to talk about?"

"What do you want to talk about when it comes to her? Over there, the one holding the boy's hand?" the guard remarked, nodding. "I get it; she's lovely. Isn't it true that the woman in your life should be the one who makes you happy?"

I hadn't considered it in that way. Of course, putting it that way was depressing.

"Perhaps she's not the woman you're looking for?"

"Perhaps..." I replied to the guard.

"Have you ever considered developing a wish list of everything you want?"

This list had been in the works for a long time. Every year, I finished it and crossed it off my list. I had aspired to become an astronaut and a merchant marine captain.

"And a list of all the things you'd never want to do?"

"Like what?"

"I'm not sure, look it up. What is it about adults that you despise the most?"

"When they say, 'When you're my age, you'll understand!'"

"Well, add 'You'll understand when you're my age!' to your list of things you'll never want to say as an adult. Is there anything else that comes to mind?"

"Promising your youngster that you'll take him out for pizza on Saturday and then not following through."

"So add 'Breaking a promise to my son' to your list. Do you see what I'm getting at now?"

"I believe so."

"Memorize it once it's finished."

"What is it for?"

"To keep it in mind!"

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Day 44

I was completely stuck, and I hadn't stopped wondering about my shadow problems. What was going on with me? Is it true that I'm the only one who can communicate with them?

Before I departed for school every morning, I checked the weather. It wasn't so much a case of clearing out my closet before getting dressed in the morning and leaving everything in a pile for the cleaning woman, as it was a case of seeing if the shadows would follow in my footsteps.

The shadows followed me at night, gathering whenever I passed a streetlight. The night shadows were different, I noted. Initially, I mistook the day shadows for the night shadows.

You can't have a day shadow and a night shadow, according to science. Nonetheless, this was not my situation.

During the day, I was accompanied by all of the day shadows I had stolen, and at night, I was accompanied by a slew of night shadows. Last Saturday, I acquired a large number of them by going to the disco. I wanted to go out with my pals again and forget about Hanna.

I was seated at a table, phone and glass in hand (thank goodness we had two hands else I'm not sure how we would have done it), when two girlfriends came over to my table and sat down without asking permission. I gave them a short glance before continuing to read Insta' postings when I noticed one of her arms wrapped over my neck. The girls started giggling when I dropped my phone into my large glass of beer.

I realized that none of them had moved physically; just the tall blonde-haired girl's shadow was keeping a careful eye on me. She was seated next to me, having exited the girl's body.

'Can you tell me your name?' I heard her voice in my brain when the shadow inquired.

I wanted I could respond with a thought, but I didn't know how, so I remained silent. I saw the question the shadow had asked me in the girl's eyes as she glanced at me and smiled. I decided to try something new. I departed with the girl, whether it was because of the beer, the pleasure of discovering the shadows at night, or the music. We went to her house because her parents were away for the weekend, and we didn't give a damn about who we were and got right down to business.

What piqued my interest was whether I could also own the night shadows. Given my new perspective on shadows, I also questioned if shadows have sex at the same time as humans. I'm still waiting for the answer. Maybe one of them will confess one day.

I returned home before the sun rose. My shadow was enormous, starting little but plump, then becoming larger, and so on.

The girl's shadow was attached to my neck. For me, the shadows had diverse colors; I guess the others merely saw darkness.