19. Nightmares

A/N: I've recently been reading The Book Thief, and it kind of affected my writing style, I started this one out kind of darkly. It ends semi-happy. I suppose it all depends on how you look at it. If you haven't read that book yet, you should. It's amazing (and also very sad...) Anyway, Sayuri and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Chapter 19: Nightmares

Marinette took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm sorry Chat. I can't." And then she turned and walked away across the rooftop. Down in the alleyway below, Chat's scream pierced the air and echoed through the night.

############################################################################################################################################################

"CHAT!" Marinette bolted upright, chest heaving, her blue eyes wide with shock and fear. She glanced around wildly. It was pitch black? Where was she?"Ugh, Marinette," she heard the comforting sound of Alya's voice through the darkness. Her pounding heart slowed slightly. Light flooded the room suddenly. Marinette looked up and saw Alya by the light switch. The reporter was wearing plaid sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. The sight was one Marinette had seen at many sleepovers. It was comfortable and friendly. It reminded her of home.

She immediately turned her gaze to the bed across the room. Black leather and blonde hair. Chat. He was safe. She let out a shuddering sigh as she stood, crossing the room. It was stupid, but she needed to make sure he was still breathing. She knelt down by his side and laid her hand on his chest. Up. Down. Up. Down. Good.

Marinette turned to Alya. "Sorry, nightmare…" Alya nodded.

"It's okay. Those can be scary. Want to talk about it?" Marinette shook her head no.

"I don't want to. It's just…he died. I could have saved him, and I didn't. I walked away." Alya came over and gave Marinette a hug.

"It'll be okay, you'll see. Adrien will recover, and everything will go back to being normal," Alya reassured her friend.

"No, it won't," Marinette said. "It can never go back to the way it was before. Adrien is Chat Noir. I can never unlearn that. He was hurt. He'll probably never be exactly the same. He knows who I am. He probably won't be the same around me. You know who we are, so what about the Ladyblog? I won't be obsessing over Adrien... Chat probably won't be flirting with me anymore. It can never be the same."

Begrudgingly, Alya had to agree. It really couldn't be the same. She wished that you could delete some memories from your mind. Like on a phone. Just delete a picture, or a video. Forget about it. But she couldn't say that to Marinette. Not right now.

"It'll be fine, Mari," she promised. "Besides, now I'll be able to help you. And Chat. It'll be a lot easier for you to get away and de-transform without me chasing you! Well, I won't chase you when you need to de-transform, anyway."

Marinette smiled slightly. "I don't know if it'll be me you'll be chasing with your camera during akuma attacks."

"What do you mean? You weren't serious when you said that you were going to give up your miraculous, were you? Mari, you can't!"

"We'll talk about this in the morning, Al," Marinette said through a yawn She took one last look at Chat Noir to make sure he actually was breathing and then she walked back over to her improvised bed on the floor. She and Alya were sleeping on the floor in Alya's room because Chat had her bed. They had dozed all day and well into the night time after last night's stressful events. She glanced at the clock. 10:00pm.

Alya wasn't ready to let the conversation go, but she knew she wouldn't get anywhere right now. Maybe tomorrow after both girls were sufficiently well rested and had some coffee. The red head turned the light switch off and fumbled through the darkness back to the nest of pillows and blankets that she and Marinette were sharing. It wasn't long until sleep reclaimed her.

############################################################################################################################################################

It was dark. That was the first thing that Chat was aware of. Pitch black. He slowly got to his feet? Where was he? His brilliant green eyes darted nervously around. They were still met with blackness. If this was what being blind was like, Chat Noir would rather be dead.

He cautiously took a few steps forward. To his surprise, it didn't hurt. Not even a little bit. What was going on? He put his hands in front of him and took a few more steps, feeling for something. Anything of solid substance. His fingers brushed the air and were met by nothingness.

"Hello?" he called. His voice sounded muffled when it reached his ears. He frowned. He had hoped for an echo. Anything that signified there was a something solid anywhere close. He took a deep breath. He hadn't realized how fast his heart was beating.

The fear and insecurity started to creep back in. Chat stumbled backwards, nearly tripping over his own tail. He fought back the scream that arose on his throat. There was nothing here. No one to help him.

Suddenly, something brushed his cheek. He whipped around, frantically brushing his arms around his head, hoping to bat it away. From an onlooker's viewpoint, it would have looked almost comical.

Something else brushed his leg. Chat again stumbled backwards, this time losing his cat-like grace and balance. He tripped. He fell. He hit the ground with a thud, and scooted backwards. He was wrong. There was something in here. Something alive. Something that moved.

"H-h-hello?" he stammered. Nothing.

A flapping noise from somewhere to his right sent Chat's heart into a flurry of panic. His mind had lost any sense of logic, or the ability to comfort him. He was paralyzed with fear.

Just when he had decided nothing could be any worse than this, he heard it. The laugh. It sent chills running up and down his spine. It made his brain freeze. It made his heart want to jump out of his chest. That cruel laugh. It was the epitomy of evil. Surely, if the devil ever laughed it would sound like that.

"Come back to play, kitten?" a voice came out of the darkness. Chat wanted to curl up into a ball on the floor and disappear. But he couldn't.

"H-hawkmoth?"

"The one and only. We never finished, you and I. We never ended the game. At first I thought you had tried to break the rules, to run from your fate. But here you are." Hawkmoth chuckled deeply. "Your failed escape was your move, and now it's my turn!"

Suddenly, a light appeared behind Chat Noir. The cat boy leapt to his feet and spun around in one quick movement. Several white butterflies were the source of the light. Akumas. Hawkmoth stepped out of the shadows, and Chat could clearly see the man's thin smirk.

Chat subconsciously went to pull his baton out. It wasn't there. Why wasn't it there? Hawkmoth's smirk grew into a smile. "Oh, does the little kitty not have a weapon? That's hardly fair."

Hawkmoth took another step forward. "But then again, I'm not a very fair man."

Chat took a step backwards. His instinct was screaming 'Run! Run, you idiot!' but his legs would not obey him. Hawkmoth pulled out a knife. And then the light from the butterflies went out.

Chat's breathing was the only audible noise. His pupils grew larger to accommodate for the lack of light, but they were still met by the darkness.

He wasn't sure where the pain hit first. It seemed to come in multiple different places at once. A kick to his back. A punch to his nose. The knife shoved into his side. He stumbled, falling face first onto the cold floor. He felt the blood pool around him.

Groaning, Chat rolled over. Several more harsh kicks to his side completely diminished any idea of getting back up. "Now, mon chaton." Hawkmoth's words made Chat's blood boil. That was what Ladybug called him! "Will you finally tell me who Ladybug really is?"

To his horror, Chat couldn't keep the words from flying out of his mouth. He was in agony, writhing around in a pool of his own blood as Hawkmoth stood confidently over him. Maybe his body just couldn't take it anymore. Maybe his brain told him not to care about anything other than his own survival. Maybe both of those factors overthrew what his heart was screaming at him.

"Marinette."

Hawkmoth leaned forward, listening intently. "Speak up boy, I can't hear you."

"MARINETTE!"

He screamed the words. Hawkmoth's smile could not have gotten wider.

"Thank you. And now I think I'll leave you with the dark."

Chat Noir's eyes widened in fear. "N-no. You c-c-can't!"

"Actually, I can. Goodbye, Chat Noir. You won't ever be seeing light again. Fitting that you should die here. And without you, Ladybug will soon fall."

"No!" Chat said, eyes wildly dancing around, his mouth open, thrashing around in the puddle of sticky blood. "NO! NOOOOOOOO!"

############################################################################################################################################################

Marinette couldn't sleep.

She knew she should. She knew she needed to. But she couldn't.

There was too much racing in her mind, circling around and coming back. She would dismiss a thought and it would sneak up behind her. For some reason, the last few days' happenings were enough to send her memory into over-drive.

Remember those nights we all have, when we are drifting off to sleep and suddenly remember something embarrassing that happened in grade school? Or maybe we think of a mistake we made that day that we just can't get over. Maybe a friend or a family member that is struggling with something, physically, mentally, or both. Remember those nights that you spent worrying about tomorrow's math test? Or maybe what your future would look like?

All of those different thoughts and memories were assaulting Marinette. They wouldn't let her go. The can of worms had been opened, and there was no shutting the lid now. She remembered when she was little. Her childhood achievements, but mostly her childhood mistakes. She had made so many of them... She remembered each one in such detail that she astonished herself.

It was as she was lying on her stomach on the floor, listening to Alya snore when she heard him. He was mumbling in his sleep. She strained her ears to listen harder.

"Marinette...no...NO!"

The sheets rustled quietly as he twisted around, desperate to escape the nightmare he was trapped in. His breathing was shallow. Marinette immediately stood and jumped over Alya, landing next to the bed. She put her hand on Chat's forehead. It was sticky with sweat.

He flinched at her contact. The sheets were all twisted up and soaked with sweat. Chat was panting harder now. She placed her hand on his neck to check his pulse, but he flinched and shrank away from her touch subconsciously. A whimper escaped him.

Gently, Marinette shook him. His muttering got a bit louder. "Marinette! No...can't...dark...no..." She shook him a bit harder, and his eyes snapped open.

Marinette was about to open her mouth and say something when Chat shrank back from her. "No... please. Just...please...leave me alone!" She couldn't see the tears running down his cheeks, but she could feel his trembling body.

"Mon chaton-" she started.

"No. No, no, no, NO!" he pressed himself against the wall, as if trying to fade into it and disappear. Suddenly, he went completely limp, and then went into a violent seizure. Marinette, not knowing what else to do, flung her arms around him and pulled him close.

At first he tried to resist, twisting out of her arms. He probably would have leapt over or around her if his injuries would have permitted it. She went to grab his hand, but he pulled it back, hissing. He curled up into a little black leather ball, heaving.

Suddenly, the light switched on. Marinette watched as all of the sudden Chat's demeanor changed entirely. He relaxed, and let out a shuddering sigh. The tears were still streaming down his face. "M-Marinette?"

"I'm here, kitty." She pulled him back into a hug, and this time he went limp in her arms, clinging to her like she would disappear. He buried his head in her shoulder as the sobs escaped him. She ran her fingers through his hair and whispered soothing words into his ear. "You'll be okay, Chat. I'm right here."

"I-I'm s-s-sorry," he hiccuped, pulling away.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, Chat Noir!" Marinette reprimanded him. "I'm the one who should be sorry!"

"You both should be sorry for disrupting my precious sleep!" Alya snapped from where she was standing by the light switch. So that was the source of the light. "Honestly, I stay up all night long to save your life and your sanity," she pointed to each of them in turn, "And you don't let me get a whole night's sleep without disturbance? I-"

Alya stopped short when she watched Chat's ears droop. "I'm sorry Alya, I-"

"Don't be," she cut him off. "But can I please go back to sleep?" Marinette glanced at the clock. Unlike when she had previously awoken Alya at 10:00pm, it was now 3:00am. No wonder Alya was so angry. She was always like that if you woke her up in the middle of the night.

"Sorry Al, we'll go to sleep now. Is that alright, chaton?" He nodded mutely in response.

"Thank you," Alya sighed. She switched the light off.

Chat immediately stiffened in her arms, and she heard his sharp intake of breath. "Chat?" she whispered. He started to shake, and she could see his green eyes clearly through the darkness. They were wide and full of panic, but most of all, they were filled with sheer terror. She held him closer and he tried to push away from her.

"Alya, turn the light back on!" Marinette commanded. She heard a groan and a few choice words before light flooded the room again.

"Seriously? This had better be good becau-" She stopped short as she watched the cat boy in Marinette's arms visibly relax. He sniffled.

"I can't," he whispered.

"What's wrong, kitten?" Marinette asked gently, brushing away a stray tear with her hand.

"I can't go back to the darkness," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I just..."

"You don't have to explain, Chat. We can sleep with the light on."

"WHAT?"

Marinette shot daggers at Alya with her glare. The red head groaned, "Somebody shoot me!" before she collapsed dramatically upon the ground and covered her head with her pillow. Marinette smiled weakly at Chat as she stood up, but he grabbed her hand.

"What?" she asked, looking back down at the boy, who had his knees drawn up to his chest and his tail wrapped around himself.

"I..." he paused, unsure of what to say. The fear was still in his eyes. Marinette hated that. He had suffered enough at her hands. She wasn't going to put him through any more.

"Hey Alya, do you want your bed back?" She watched in amusement as her friend's head shot up immediately.

"But what about him?"

"He'll be fine."

"How about the IV?"

"I think I already pulled that out accidentally while moving around..." Chat rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Besides, the ground is soft. It won't make him hurt more or anything," Marinette added.

"Well, when you put it like that..." Alya grabbed a blanket and her pillow and crawled onto her bed. "Maybe sleeping with the lights on won't kill me."

Marinette guided Chat down to her nest of pillows and blankets on the floor. He curled up almost like a real cat would, and she laid down a little bit aways, close enough that she could keep running her fingers through his hair.

Chat fell asleep relatively quickly. Marinette frowned worriedly at the broken boy beside her. What could she possibly do for him? She didn't know what made him react like that to the darkness, but she didn't care. She swore, one day Hawkmoth was gonna pay. And it wasn't going to be pretty. She finally fell asleep with thoughts of revenge swirling through her mind.

############################################################################################################################################################

For anyone thinking that Gabriel Agreste was the kind of person who would leave Chat Noir alone to heal and then eventually come back and defeat him, you were wrong. Of course, he wanted his son to heal. He wanted to be able to provide him with medical care. But right now he couldn't possibly show up at wherever Adrien was and get help. That would be all too obvious.

He had done what he could, finding the blogger girl's number on the school records. He hoped she and whoever Ladybug was had sufficient enough equipment to treat everything he had done to his own son...

Gabriel was slowly dying inside. He wanted to take it all back. Everything he had done since donning the butterfly miraculous for the first time. But the past was the past, and there was no going back now.

There was one chance, he told himself. Clearly by now Alya and Ladybug would know Adrien's identity. He couldn't be taken to a hospital without a ton of people figuring out the connection between Adrien and Chat Noir. So he would have to be at her house.

He could sneak in and take the ring. He didn't know if Ladybug was still there, but of she was it would be an added bonus. Both girls would be exhausted after taking care of Adrien. If she was there, he would take the earrings as well.

But the most important thing was the ring. He could take it, and then Adrien would never again transform into Chat Noir. He wouldn't know his father was Hawkmoth. Hawkmoth wouldn't have to kill Adrien. Life could return as normal for both father and son. Meanwhile, he could use the cat miraculous to get the ladybug miraculous. Then he could bring his wife back.

In his mind, it was the perfect plan. So, not being one to waste time, he decided to immediately put it into action. He found Alya's address, and then he transformed and leapt out the window. He may be a little old for a rooftop spree, but nothing could stop him from finding a way to fix his broken family. Absolutely nothing.

A/N: Oh man, that was a page and a half longer than all of my others chapters. You're welcome! Please excuse any grammar/spelling issues because I stayed up SUPER late to get this all to you. Please review if you liked it! Sayuri's little kwami belly is rumbling!