Growing Doubts

Jae Joong visited his pregnant wife in her pavilion. Grand as his, but with a touch of simple flair. Red and white as the entire motif. As he walked down the corridor, the court ladies dipped their heads in a bow, welcoming him. Not out of fear, but with utmost respect. He stood in front of the Queen's bedchambers; the ladies-in-waiting announced his presence.

"Your Grace, the King wishes to seek an audience."

The Queen's face brightened, like a star in the dark skies. "Let him in." She primped her long black hair, straightened her white robe and got up from the bed.

Jae Joong entered the chambers, savoring the sweet scent of chrysanthemum engulfing the entire place. A huge, candle-lit room decorated with scarlet and pink curtains, and expensive, imported ceramics and furniture from Tang. Pink lanterns gave life to the entire chamber, and the magenta veil normally surrounding the Queen's bed was pulled back, displaying its occupant. The Head Nurse and her personnel were in the room to check her condition regularly because the Queen was set to give birth any day of the week, as per the Tang's Lunar Calendar. Females only!—the Queen's request.

The nurses bowed to Jae Joong and huddled to the corners, letting him talk to his queen. He sat down his wife's bed and kissed her forehead. "Manifolds of moons have passed by since I have visited, my Queen. My apologies."

"I do understand, Sire. Civic duties first before anything else. Besides, everything is alright."

Jae Joong caressed her soft, white hands like they were his precious possessions. "If you need anything, just let me know."

Feeling a slight movement from her swollen belly, the demure queen giggled and informed the King that she felt two kicks simultaneously. Jae Joong's eyes enlarged as he jerked his head towards the nurses. He pressed the Queen's lips with his finger, stopping her from talking more about the two kicks she just felt.

Shocked as she, the Queen gasped for a second and apologized.

"Leave us!" ordered Jae Joong.

The two were left alone, in stony silence. Finally, Jae Joong straightened and cleared his throat. "You should be more careful. Remember? Not a soul. No one should ever know about the twins," he began. The Queen gazed at her king sorrowfully. If only he knew, she was worried about ten times more than he was, and it was all due to that cursed prophecy.

Long ago, it was foretold that great misfortune would befall the kingdom if royal twins were born on the day of an eclipse, as the two children would represent the eclipse itself. One twin would mirror the sun—bright and powerful and would bring the kingdom to its highest glory. The other twin would be as ill-fated as the moon that blocked the sun's light, destined to bring nothing but darkness and destruction. Their fate would be sealed, and nothing in the world could erase that. They must be separated for eternity, or the Heavens would shower its wrath upon the kingdom.

She rubbed her stomach, feeling the lumps of her two unborn children. The only way to hide the secret of their births was to separate them and ensure they never met. The thought of losing her unborn sons made her heart filled with extreme loneliness. A pessimist yet realistic kind of thinking to events which were not completely certain to happen.

"It was confirmed, Sire. Based on my pulse, it was two Yangs—two princes. What shall we do?" the Queen asked.

"The two prophecies won't cross paths," Jae Joong consoled.

"Sure, Your Majesty. But forgive me if I can't trust that woman."

"So you don't trust me."

"Just a woman's instinct perhaps. Something that I couldn't put my finger on."

"This is not the time for an irrational instinct. What is wrong with all of you? First, it was Dae Wong, then your father, and now you? If I could do these predictions, I would."

"Maybe because the three of us see the same thing, Sire. Something that you don't see, or you don't want to see."

"Now, what does that mean?"

That hit Jae Joong. A conspicuous freeze on his eyes. He held his wife's shoulders, trying to appease her. Heavens knew he did not want to pick a fight with his precious queen, "Look, you said you have trust in me. Let that be enough. I will protect you, our children and the whole Silla. Promise me that you will not tell anyone about our twins again."

A sensation of apprehension reflected from the King's brown eyes. The Queen sensed that his actions represented doubt—doubt that the solar eclipse might happen and plunge their kingdom into ruin. Perhaps he was just afraid—cautious not to break (bend?) the laws and customs from a ruler's standpoint.

"I thought you were confident that the solar eclipse wouldnot happen," she ventured tentatively. "Why do I feel that you are afraid and ashamed of our children?"

"That's not true!"

Doom! The argument relapsed; kind words were not even enough. A thousand liters of boiling blood flowed quickly through every vein of the Queen's body. She composed herself as her nails dug deeply into her palm, biting her lip to hold back her tears. She was unsuccessful, for a pearl of tear dropped down from an eye unknowingly. She closed her eyes, and a deep sigh escaped her pink lips.

"It seems to be that way for me. You were talking as if they are someone else's children."

Jae Joong's glare hardened, and his face reddened. He stood from the bed, took a step back and began pacing throughout the room. "Never think that I don't care for our children! What kind of a father do you think I am? They are my children—my own blood and flesh!

"—This is not about who I trust anymore; I am doing this for the sake of my sons worse comes to worst. I don't understand why you can't see that."

His slippers dug into the thick carpets with the ferocity of his steps. His robes swished about his ankles at the sudden stop, eyes bloodshot as he stared into the eyes of his queen. "But I have to think of my people too. Because not only I am the father of our sons, but I am also the father of this kingdom."

Garbled. Shocked. Scared. The Queen did not know what to feel anymore with what she saw and heard. The first time she ever laid eyes on a furious Jae Joong—what startled her more was realizing the fact that her vicious-acting husband truly cared about the twins, yet he was still willing to sacrifice the children's future. Feeling drowned to the unfathomable depths of her king's statements, she stayed silent for a while with a blank visage. She felt very weak and powerless. Nothing in this world could contend with the King's sturdy decision.

"Maybe I was cursed by the Heavens. Maybe I am not the rightful queen of this kingdom," she muttered.

More tears slowly fell down from the Queen's eyes, while the King was rooted to his position. The piercing sound of silence was all they needed to drain the heavy emotions they just felt with a blink of an eye.

"No. Shh, no. Why would you think that?"

The intimate moment was ruined when Dong Hee, the Head Nurse burst into the Queen's chambers. Jae Joong gave her a burning gaze and yelled, "What do you think you're doing? Didn't I tell you to leave us?" his voice reverberated throughout the chambers.

Dong Hee bowed, highlighting the design of the simple white cloth wrapped on top of her head, the light blue robe rustled, and her white skirt brushing the floor. "Sire, forgive me. I deserve to die for disobeying, but I only care about the Queen and the twins. I had to do this as her health servant."

The Queen looked away, wiping her tears. Jae Joong stared at the two for a few seconds then left, the door slamming behind him. If there was a single person that the Queen had so much trust, it was Dong Hee. She had been working in the palace for many years. Sadly, this was her last duty as the Head Nurse.

"Your Grace, are you alright?"

A nod as a response. The Queen was still in shock, her lips found it hard to say any words. She was half-paralyzed. Catatonic.

"I'll be back tomorrow, Your Grace. Please rest." Dong Hee dipped her head and headed to the door. The Queen slowly returned to the real world, realizing her Head Nurse was leaving her.

"Dong Hee?" she mumbled. The woman looked behind, "Yes, Your Grace?"

"It's been ten years of good service. You're not just my loyal servant, you are a friend. Thank you. So long."

The Head Nurse smiled, "You Honor me, Your Grace."

"Could I ask for one last favor?"

"Anything that I could be of help."

"If something happens to me, please—please protect my sons."

Dong Hee bit her lip and nodded, even without thinking about the whole context of the favor. She thought that it was just an appropriate gesture as a sense of gratitude. Then she left.

~~•~~

As the King walked the palace grounds, trailed by his personal royal guards and court ladies, the Queen's sorrowful eyes and worrisome words replayed in his head. He went to his bedchamber to gather his thoughts, rebuild his strength.

It was the largest room in the palace, decorated with yellow curtains and lantern lamps to make sure it is always well-lit. The intricate designs of furniture, with accurate measurements and mostly carved with dragons, stood in the chamber, symbolizing potent and auspicious powers. He sat on a chair and crossed his arms on a round table while gently inhaling the sweet, aromatic scent of Chinese candles on the four corners of the room. Soothing. Calming.

"Sire, Minister Dae Wong requests an audience," announced a lady-in-waiting.

"Let him in."

The young minister entered and bowed, noticing the anxiety on the King's face.

"I'm glad you came. I talked to the Queen about the twins, and she wants to keep our children badly, despite knowing the prophecy. We ended up arguing."

Dae Wong sat at the table, in front of the King. He pushed his lips in sympathy. "I understand your sentiments, Your Majesty. Pain and sacrifice are the two things that make up a good ruler."

"I am worried about..." Jae Joong paused. His eyes were full of distress.

"The twins? 'What would their fate be if they were born on the day of the eclipse?' Is that what bothers you, Sire?"

Jae Joong nodded slowly.

"Sire, before this conversation gets deeper, could I speak candidly to you? My thoughts have more freedom if I do."

"Like we always do."

"Thank you, Sire. Now, I like to ask: How many people do you think to know about the twins?"

The King had a thought for a while before coming up with an answer. He carefully restructured his memory puzzles to recapture a reliable count. "Hmm, let's see. Me, you, the Queen, and Dong Hee."

"There are other nurses in the Queen's chambers every day. Are you sure they don't know anything?"

The stunned king's pupils grew large, in realization. Then, he shook his head, throwing away negative thoughts. "I trust Dong Hee, the Queen trusts her. She is the only one who examines her. The other nurses were feet away from them every time she will check her condition. They would just come closer if Dong Hee called them. Besides, whenever she and the Queen talk, they always emphasize the word, prince, to denote that only one child is inside."

He continued, "So, I can say that those nurses know nothing about the twins."

"Alright, Sire. I see."

If there had been a competition in concealing emotions, Jae Joong would be at the losing end. His hazel eyes were utterly without guile and revealed his every thought and feeling, which caused Dae Wong to have more doubt about the eclipse prediction.

"I am thinking about the prophecy about the royal twins. Say the eclipse happens, they are born on the same day—who among the two will be the good-fated? The ill-fated?" Jae Joong asked.

"I am not a priestess, Your Majesty. They can see the future of a ruler if he will be good enough. Do you remember what happened on your fifteenth birthday?"

Bits of memories played through Jae Joong's head. He recalled the day of the final round of the king selection (he and Jung Ho standing in front of the council, the Head Priestess and her maidens. All white, barefooted, ear-piercing silence). Despite his brother's impeccable skills overall, and claim to the throne, the former Head Priestess had selected Jae Joong due to her premonition that he would be the better ruler. The biggest factor that outcasts all the others.

"Yes, I remember that, but we cannot wait until the fifteenth birthday of the princes. I need to separate them once they are born," the King said firmly. Dae Wong's eyes widened, and he gasped in surprise.

"But the eclipse won't happen, Sire."

"Yes, but there is Jung Ho."

War of thoughts clouded up Jae Joong's head. He wanted to know if there would be other ways to consider, in predicting his sons' future, aside from waiting until they were fifteen. He wanted results, believing that separating the twins at birth, knowing who must stay on the palace and who must be kept secret forever were the things that would guarantee the safety of his sons and the royal family. But actually, the biggest dilemma that he considered was his cunning, opportunist, younger half-brother. Even if the eclipse would not happen, Jae Joong believed that his brother already had a list of plans to harm his heirs by any means necessary.

He came up with a quick decision. Lady Jang. The Head Priestess could provide answers to his questions. Jae Joong stood quickly and strode towards the door.

"Sire, where are you going?"

"To Lady Jang."

Dae Wong's eyebrows scrunched in confusion, "Sire, aren't you giving her too much trust? You will go to her and ask who among the twins will be the good-fated and the ill-fated?"

Jae Joong turned around; he did not respond but his eyes were enough answers.

"I might as well sign my death warranty."

"Dae Wong!"

"Forgive me for being insolent, Sire. I think you're going overboard with this fascination and trust to Lady Jang. You don't even have a close relationship with her."

"Why did you say so?" Jae Joong sat back at his table and crossed his arms.

"You're digging the grave of this kingdom, rather than building it. Do you seriously think that Lady Jang will keep the secret about the twins the way we do?"

"That's a bit overdramatic, Dae Wong. I'll just ask her a hypothetical question."

"Now you're downgrading her. From being trusted to being underestimated."

Jae Joong flouted, "Let's talk about it then. Hand me proof that she's not worthy of my trust."

Dae Wong shook his head and rubbed his forehead, frustrated with the person talking to him. "There's no hard proof yet. But look, Sire. The fact that she was referred by your brother to be the Head Priestess is very suspicious. Her mother, the former Head Priestess was still alive at that time; just very ill."

Jae Joong's interest was sparked with Dae Wong's story, so he continued listening. As Dae Wong recounted the day the shrine maidens announced their next Head Priestess, the forgotten memories flashed into the King's mind like the vivid interactions of a theater play. One summer night, under the glinting moonlight, a thousand candlelight. Outside the main shrine, a long ritual so divine. According to Dae Wong, Lady Jang's mother had coincidentally died the day after the selection. Some people thought a malady had caused her demise, but some had thought otherwise. Lady Jang did not have the time to mourn because she was assigned to the position the day after her mother's death. Convenient.

At the end of Dae Wong's story, Jae Joong frowned (of disbelief? Too early to say). "That was a long time ago. Jung Ho and I were still princes back then. Are you saying that Lady Jang was involved in her mother's death? What kind of monster would do that?"

"Sire, you also need to consider the fact that you were favored by the former Head Priestess to be the king instead of your brother."

Jae Joong gulped as an idea came across his mind. "No... No! I was chosen because I am a Seonggol and of course, I am destined to be good." Hearing the King's argument, Dae Wong raised a brow and rebuffed, "Sire, a Jingol could also become a ruler."

"The former Head Priestess favored you not just because you are a Seonggol. It was a combination of lineage, skills and the last one—the Head Priestess' prediction. A century-old law that is still practiced today. Well, practically, I could say that it was the last criterion's final say after all." scoffed Dae Wong. "But that's a core law. No one can change it."

The King caressed his chin, taking a big leap of consideration about Dae Wong's claims. "Do you mean the former Head Priestess' death was an act of revenge?"

"I am not completely certain, Sire but for me, for some of us, council, there was a conspiracy. The Prime Minister and Lady Jang had something to do with the death of the former Head Priestess. If I were you, I would not trust her fully."

"See, you're not even certain. Those are just baseless allegations. Do you even have faith in people, Dae Wong?"

"Of course I do, Sire. But not with Jung Ho and his filthy tentacles. Sire, we've been telling you this for a long time. When it comes to Lady Jang, you've always ignored us. Now, do you even have faith on us?"

A deep sigh escaped through the Jae Joong's lips. He must admit—even though he had these contained minimal doubts for Lady Jang, he had kept it for a long time and chose to ignore it because he believed that she was the only person capable of predicting the eclipse. She had proven herself enough, not just with the eclipse prediction but with a lot of festivals, rituals, and other religious activities before. An incredible talent bestowed upon by the Heavens. Jae Joong had seen more, compared to the council members, compared to anyone else questioning the Head Priestess's credibility. He had chosen to give her the benefit of the doubt because there were no solid shards of evidence which could prove her dirty association with the Prime Minister.

"Sire, just because you did not see it, doesn't mean it did not happen. You were not around them every day," Dae Wong said smoothly. "A message can travel in a thousand different ways."

The King just nodded, and the minister continued, "Another thing, Sire. Not that I am underestimating her skills because of her age, but didn't you notice that your brother's ideas were the ones that always came to life every time we conduct festivals?"

"Those might be coincidental."

"I respectfully disagree, Your Majesty. One might be incidental, two is intentional, but three is already detrimental."

"Now you're saying Jung Ho and Lady Jang..."

"I am saying that maybe she is just a front. Maybe it is the Prime Minister that really controls all the religious affairs. A fraud. A disgusting, string puppet! Perhaps your brother wants to control the kingdom indirectly using the mandate of the Heavens. When the deities say we jump off our pavilions, we do it. Isn't it a comical misery, Your Majesty?"

Jae Joong's eyes widened. Suddenly, Lady Jang became out of the portrait for once. The issue was more about Jung Ho. What if Dae Wong was right? No evidence, yes. But what if?

"I do not want to jump to conclusions, but I did see your point," Jae Joong said after a long pause. Closing his eyes for a brief moment, he breathed heavily. He suddenly felt sheepish for being overly-obsessed by the book, leaving faith and guts behind. But what made his feelings worse was the fact that all realizations made sense when there were only two days before a major ceremony. Dae Wong consoled and encouraged the weary king to be positive. He felt a bit sorry for him, but he knew that what he did was right, because the King deserved to be slapped once in a while.

"If I could just read the stars and communicate directly to the Heavens just like her, I would do this prediction all by myself." Jae Joong groaned.

"I know Sire. You just do what's stated in our laws. I have nothing against that. The Head Priestess does the rituals, and the king shall relay the mandate of the Heavens."

The worried ruler bit his lips; his face puckered in frustration and anger.

"Sire, it is not yet too late. Now that your brother arrives today from his two months trip in Tang, we still have time to confirm these allegations I just presented. You can discover it yourself. So what do you say?"

"Fine."

"Thank Heavens! Finally!"

"How do we do this?"

Dae Wong grinned.

"I have an idea."

__________

NOTES:

Yang (양) - a male symbol in Chinese Traditional Medicine

Seonggol (성골) - the highest rank in the Bone Rank System of the Silla Kingdom, which determines one's status in the society. Seonggol means Sacred Bone, or the true royal blood: the children of the king and the queen.

Jingol (징골) - the second highest rank in the Bone Rank System: the True Bone. Someone has to be either a child of the king to a royal concubine or a child of any noble or high ranking official. Someone has to be either a child of the king to a royal concubine or a child of any noble or high ranking official.