Nightmares

MATTHEW'S POV

We had arrived back on Earth.

After the yet again thrilling experience of fighting down the underworld, we've made it back in one piece. The downside was we were all worn out.

Not one of us took our time in getting inside the limousine. Since we were all tired, we couldn't wait to go back to the mansion to get some sleep as it was still a school day tomorrow. 

I can't speak up for the others, but I was sure myself that I still had a bit of energy left. I don't mind going to bed early though. Mister Jacob was going to make us practice all day since the competition was three days away.

We got inside the limousine. I instantly slouched at the softness of the seat, my eyelids getting heavier. I held back a yawn when I looked in Samantha's direction. She was digging in her bag, eyebrows furrowed as a troubled expression decorated her face. Clearly, something was wrong, so I asked.

"Hey, is there something wrong?"

Samantha glanced at me before going back to rummaging in her bag. "I j-just can't find my p-phone."

Samuel took his captain's hat off and cradled it in his arms like a baby. "Maybe you left it in the classroom?"

Samantha face-palmed. "You're right. I t-think I did." She looked at the principal. "C-Can I go pick m-my phone up from the elite b-building? I promise it'll be q-quick."

"Can't it wait in the morning?" An elite whined as he closed his eyes.

"It could b-but... My mom calls every night a-and she's scary if I-I don't answer her right away o-or miss a call."

Samuel's eyes widened as he seemed to remember something terrifying after Samantha said that. "You know what? I can get it for you. Don't want mom to rant off like that again." He mumbled and Samantha shared the same look as Samuel. They both were scared of their mom. And honestly? I relate. My mom said she'd fight the guards of the school if they wouldn't let her in just to check up on me.

As Samuel was just about to stand up, I pulled him back down by his arm. "Don't worry about it. I can go get it. I'll just run."

I needed to build my character up. I could get Samuel to see my good side as well as Samantha. I left Sasha to be with Elijah. Now, I felt like I shouldn't let go of Samantha that easily, even if it's with Zed. As for Samuel, I needed to show I cared about him. What's better to go get a phone after fighting, right? Samuel would think I spent my energy instead of him and Samantha would appreciate me. It's a win-win! I just needed to start small.

Samantha blushed as she spoke, "You d-don't have to. We can j-just get it tomorrow. I'm s-sure mom wouldn't mind..."

Samuel looked at his sister. "You sure about that?"

Samantha gave it some more thought. "Actually... If you d-don't mind, can you go g-get it? Please?"

My heartbeat just went erratic.

"Y-Yeah! Sure, no problem!"

I notified the principal and he said he would wait for me here. I got out of the car and started to run towards the elite building. As I ran, the feeling of being watched caused me to stop momentarily. Dread consumed me. I looked around for the source but I didn't see anything. At this, I was confused.

'Maybe I'm more exhausted than I thought.'

I continued my way to the elite building. Putting my red button on the scanner and saying the password, the lights turned on automatically. I climbed the stairs to the classroom and search for Samantha's phone. I perceived a hot pink rectangular object that sat at the middle chair of the classroom. I picked it up and saw there were glittery strawberries plastered on the back of the phone case. Without my permission, a smile crept up to my face.

'Yeah, this is Samantha's phone alright.'

I pocketed the phone and was about to descend the stairs when, from the corner of my eyes, I saw something whizzed by. I turned around and followed where the silhouette just ran to. Unfortunately, I saw nothing and lost sight of it.

I got scared. I dashed down the stairs and almost tripped. Only was I near the limousine when I could finally let my guard down. 

I didn't know what that was, but aside from its shadow, I saw a pair of direful crimson eyes, and the alarms of dangers flared up within me, stronger than ever.

I got inside the limousine and gave Samantha her phone. She took it gratefully. "Thanks, Matthew!"

"No problem..."

Samuel made me face him. "Are you okay? You look pale." He paused before snorting. "Nevermind. There's no difference."

I gave him a playful glare to which he put his hands up. "It's nothing. I'm tired, that's all."

Samuel was quiet before agreeing. "Yeah, me too."

I had a feeling he wasn't talking about fighting the ventifios.

-

Three days flew so fast.

It was now the day of the competition. It was currently 6:30 in the morning. I couldn't sleep much as I was too excited. The sight of the dark figure may have startled me, but I was focusing on the present. I also dismissed that as a hallucination mixed with seeing ventifios so much I started to see one out of the underworld.

I got up, ready to start the day. Everyone was still asleep. That gave me a reason to have the mansion all to myself for a while.

I left my bedroom in my gray pajamas, feeling a little hungry. I looked around and saw everybody's doors were closed... Except for Samuel's. Again, his door was ajar, but I saw his lights were off. The only light that escaped his room was the natural, yellowish light of dawn.

Just as I was about to go towards the stairs, I heard a faint sound coming from Samuel's room. I couldn't put a finger on what it was, so I inched closer. My hand flew to my mouth when I noticed they were whimpers and sniffles. And coming from Samuel's room, no less? 

It may be an invasion of privacy, but I couldn't ignore someone who needed help, even if he didn't ask for it. 

I peeked inside Samuel's bedroom and gasped when I saw Samuel's state. It made my chest ache. The blonde-haired boy was curled up in a ball, his hands were holding his head. If I listened closely, I could hear him saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." repetitively. 

I almost barged in when I saw him so broken and scared. I saw a lot of Samuel's personality ever since I became an elite. I saw his captain's side, his scared expression, happy personality, shocked and surprised. Lately, though, all I ever saw were anger, sadness, and his secretive side. Now that I got to see him like this, I wanted nothing more than to bring him back to his old self.

It was no doubt he just woken up from a nightmare. I almost did the same when I dreamt I was of no use to the elites. I knew that couldn't amount to anything Samuel's been dreaming of.

I was stuck in an argument in my head. I cared for Samuel, so I wanted to help him calm down and maybe give him some comforting words. But another voice interjected. It was telling me to give Samuel some space and his privacy. He didn't even know I was hiding from him right now, watching.

I was torn - conflicted on what I should do. Both of my options were good in morals, so I was having a hard time deciding.

I peeked inside Samuel's room once again. He didn't move and stayed in the same position. He no longer was muttering a series of apologies.

'I know Samuel wants and needs time to sort himself out, but...'

I clenched my teeth and looked at my hands.

'It was all of my fault, to begin with. If only I hadn't fought with him and invoked his memories about his sister, then none of this would've happened. Also...'

I turned back at him.

'I can just ignore him when I've seen this much. Not after everything's he has done for me.'

Preparing myself for either a lecture or words of assurance. After I was ready, I gently knocked on the door, even if it was already slightly open. I didn't want to scare him of my sudden presence in his room. And I know for sure he wouldn't want any loud sounds after just waking up.

Samuel didn't budge, he stayed the same. I was starting to wonder if he even heard me. I was given an answer when he spoke. "Samantha...? Is that you?"

'How should I respond to that?'

I cleared my throat and replied nervously. "No... It's me."

Samuel immediately sat straight up with a shocked face decorating his features. At times like these, I would've been laughing at his face right now, but that was the last thing I was about to do.

"W-What are you...?" Samuel didn't even have the energy to complete his sentence before his voice went hoarse.

His face went pink and he used his pillow to cover his face. He turned over to the other side, away from me. Because of the pillow, his voice was muffled and what he said was unintelligible.

"Sorry, what?"

He repeated it. "Can you please... Leave? I don't... I don't want anyone seeing me like this." He said softly. I was starting to worry about his well-being. When did his nightmares start? Did he have to endure this every day?

If only I wasn't stupid enough to bring back his bad memories, then he wouldn't even be like this - in a condition where he felt empty and, for some reason, he was blaming himself for something we didn't know. I would get to the bottom of this. Samantha trusted me to help Samuel, and I would do just that.

I didn't leave. In contrast to his request, I sat next to him in his bed. He didn't even flinch, as if he was expecting this. We just sat there in silence, neither of us knew what to do. I was giving Samuel the time to calm down.

Samuel was always the first one to talk to me, now, I had to be the one to start first. "When did it start, Samuel?" I asked gently.

The blonde-haired boy peeked from his pillow and mumbled. "Just after the first day of the collaboration."

"Was it always this bad?"

He shook his head and squeezed the pillow tighter. "I-It started off with the underworld... and... and... How she called for help... After that... A few days later... It-It became worse." His voice quivered as he managed to choke out.

I placed a hand on his shoulder and slowly made him face me. His eyes were red and filled with tears. To top it off, dark circles surrounded his eyes. How come I never noticed this? 

I wanted to hug him so badly. Someone as kind, smart, and caring as Samuel should've never deserved this.

"Do you... Wanna talk about it?"

I saw his eyes flicker to the side. A flash of hesitation appeared in them. He had always been so uncertain to talk about his past. A barrier surrounded that information, and something tells me I'd have to try harder if I ever want to walk past that barrier.

I was prying into something personal, so I decided to share. "Do you know about the nightmare I had?"

He blinked the tears away. "Yeah... Why?"

"Well," I laughed a bit. "It was pretty... despondent, in the least."

I rubbed my face as I tried to remember the words said in my dreams. "My... Mom was there. You were there. Samantha and Ashley too. Almost everybody."

I bit my lip and carried on with the story. "You guys were saying how... Useless and weak I was and... And a disappointment and how I was... Such an embarrassment..."

My chest was tightening. It was beginning to get hard to breathe. I didn't want to remember that dream. I was so thankful that it was just a dream. Now, that I was saying it to someone else and having to recall every word and detail, I felt trapped. My mind was blocking those hurtful words, yet I was telling them to somebody.

Was this what it felt like? To remember what you hated to feel and see? The memory you tried to keep from the others to not seem weak? Whiny? And look like you're seeking attention? Samuel must've felt like this. Samara's death was already depressing on its own, having to say it to someone while recollecting everything that happened was enough to make one want to run away.

I got it now. Samuel was bottling it all up. So, instead of having to face the memory every day, he would only have to worry about the nightmares. It was one less problem.

'Sometimes, the problems you hide deep inside could be the one to cause your downfall.'

I looked up to Samuel. "You don't have to tell me. I... I know it's hard."

Samuel had a grateful smile on his face. "Thanks."

My eyes flitted to the clock on his table. "You still have about three hours left before school. You need to sleep."

"Yeah, I will. Just..." He hugged his pillow. "Just a bit more."

I tilted my head. "A bit more?"

Samuel looked embarrassed. He bit his cheek. "Can you... Stay? Just a bit longer?"

'About two minutes ago, he said to leave. Now, he wants me to stay.'

To be honest, I was more than happy to. There was a change in Samuel's action, a step closer to making him happy again. I was willing to take any chances to bring him joy.

"Sure." 

We were just sitting, occasionally asking each other questions.

"You know I would never say that you, right?" Samuel said after I told him everything he said in my dream.

"I know, Samuel." I assured him with a smile. "I know it wasn't you, but just someone in a dream."

The captain was quiet. He looked out his window. I did the same and saw the sun was already up high in the sky. "You also know I didn't mean to say that to Ashley, right?" He whispered. The hope of the two being on good terms again sparked in my chest. 

"You need to say that to her, not me."

Samuel raked his messy bed hair back and sighed. "I was planning to, after the competition." He looked at me worriedly. "Do you think she would still want to talk to me?"

I nodded as I remembered Ashley's tone of voice when she realized she made a mistake. It was so different compared to her normal monotone voice. 

"Trust me, Samuel." I patted his back. "She wants to talk to you but is too... Shy to approach you first."

Samuel chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds like Ashley."

As he said that, I also remembered what he said about Ashley.

'I helped her get a grip on reality.'

I had the urge to ask him about that. I already spoke about it with Samantha but received no satisfactory answer.  With no shame or self-control, I did. 

"Hey, Samuel, what did you mean when you helped Ashley get a grip on reality?"

Samuel laughed nervously. "I may have overreacted there."

"Okay...? Still, what did you mean by that?"

"Well, I-"

He didn't get to finish as we heard loud shouts from downstairs.

"That last piece of bacon is mine!"

"I had it first!"

"I don't care! That's mine!"

Samuel's eye twitched in both drowsiness and annoyance. "That's probably the fifteen year olds. And it sounds like it's from our batch."

The blonde-haired boy stood up from the bed and stretched. "Come on, I don't want a fight to start." He grimaced. "Especially on food."

He left his bedroom. I was alone on his bed, wrapped in my thoughts.

'I think my last option is the person of the topic itself - Ashley.'