SCARS TO HEAL
SOLELY WRITTEN BY EWATOMI ABIODUN
EPISODE 9
I gripped my bedspread as I shake my head vigorously with my eyes tightly shut.
" 𝐍𝐨. 𝐍𝐨. 𝐍𝐨," 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞.
" 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩" 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞.
" 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 " 𝐇𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝.
" 𝐘𝐨𝐮... 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 ...𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 ..𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 ..𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 ..𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝. 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧" 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫.
𝐇𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭. " 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 ?" 𝐇𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞.
" 𝐘.. 𝐲𝐞𝐬" 𝐈 𝐧𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝.
𝐇𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫. " 𝐁𝐮𝐭 .. 𝐰𝐡𝐲. 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭.. 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫. 𝐈... " 𝐇𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫.
𝐈 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦.
𝐇𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫. 𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬.
" 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞.. 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.. 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.. 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 .. 𝐈.. 𝐚𝐦. 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥. 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐞 .." 𝐇𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐯𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐭.
𝐇𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐯𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝. 𝐇𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞. " 𝐘𝐨𝐮.. 𝐚𝐫𝐞.. 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠.. 𝐚𝐭.. 𝐦𝐞 .. ?".
" 𝐍𝐨..𝐧𝐨, 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭. 𝐈 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐆𝐨𝐝. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭," 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬.
" 𝐈.. 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥. 𝐩𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡. 𝐲𝐨𝐮 .. 𝐟𝐨𝐫 .. 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 .. 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞" 𝐇𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐮𝐩 𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭.
" 𝐈.. 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫, 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭. 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬" 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝.
" 𝐒𝐡𝐮𝐭... 𝐔𝐩.. 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛*𝐭𝐜... " 𝐇𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧. " 𝐖𝐡𝐲.. 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭..𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐦𝐞 ..𝐮𝐩 ..𝐢𝐟.. 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 ...𝐲𝐨𝐮 ..𝐚𝐫𝐞 ..𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠.. 𝐚𝐭 ...𝐦𝐞 ? "
𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞. 𝐇𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐭. 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭.
" 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐦𝐞 " 𝐈 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝. " 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐦𝐞 !".
" 𝐇𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐡𝐚" 𝐇𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥. " 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐞 .. 𝐭𝐫𝐲 .." 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐩 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝.
" 𝐆𝐨 𝐚𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦, 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐜𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩," 𝐇𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲. 𝐇𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞. " 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐞".
𝐈 𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝.
𝐀𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩. 𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐞. 𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞. 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐬.
" 𝐘𝐨𝐮.. 𝐛*𝐭𝐜𝐡..." 𝐇𝐞 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐯𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬.
𝐈 𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐳𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞. 𝐖𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞.
" 𝐓𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐡𝐮𝐡? " 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝. 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥. 𝐇𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧. 𝐇𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 .
" 𝐈 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐈 𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 " 𝐇𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥. 𝐇𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐯𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡.
" 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭? 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 " 𝐇𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬.
𝐈 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐰𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬. 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦. 𝐈 𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐈 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝.
"𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮!" 𝐇𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞.
𝐀𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭, 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐞. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐧-𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞. 𝐇𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐇𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧'𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞, 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝, 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐡 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲. 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬. 𝐇𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝.
" 𝐃𝐚....."
I jerked awake, gasping for breath. It was midnight. The thunder roared and the rain kept splattering on the windows. The ticking of the clock echoed across the room. Beads of sweat formed on both sides of my face as I look around feeling uneasy. The ravishing roar of thunder and lighting snapped me back to reality and I burst into tears as I realized it was that dream again. I glanced up at the wall clock and it says 3 am on dot.
I quickly grabbed my white fluffy blanket and cocooned myself in it as I felt the tremor in me again. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I developed that stupid tremor all over my body. My body shakes uncontrollably as I try to shield myself from my own body.
Please!
Leave me alone!
I gripped the blanket with all my strength as I begged my body if it would answer me. I didn't want to hurt myself to feel calm but the urge to self-harm myself was becoming too intense so I can get back in control of my body. I couldn't stand up to take the new blade which was placed on my dressing table without falling. I scanned my room to look for the nearest thing close to me and my eyes suddenly landed on the glass cup of water sitting on my nightstand beside my bed.
I crawled on the bed towards the nightstand and almost roll down due to the tremor. With trembling hands, I picked up the glass cup and crushed it with my bare hand as it broke, water splattering everywhere. The glass shattered over my bed and onto the floor as the tiny pieces of glass pierced my palm. I wasn't satisfied yet so I picked one piece of the broken glass and cut my palm with it as blood gushes out and trickled down my fingers.
My breathing slowly returns to normal, my shoulders slump and I sigh, falling back down on my bed, as I stare at the ceiling with my hand at the edge of the bed as blood trickled down my fingers onto the floor.
I stare at the ceiling for a very long time until my eyes starts to grow heavy as tears welled up in them, resting on my lower eyelids before overflowing.
I am a living dead.
I am just an empty shell.
I have prayed and prayed to God to never wake me up but he never granted my wish. It seems like he wanted to keep punishing me for a sin I didn't commit.
I have tried everything possible to make this dream stop tormenting me but it seems I am stuck with it. I am stuck with going back to the past and having to deal with that tremor and self-harm. It's that cycle that goes on and on and on. I wanted to baldy stop it but it's a cycle.
I couldn't go back to sleep again with the fear of going back to that dream again. I hate that tremor. I hate how it makes me feel.
I lay on my bed crying, motionless, except for my chest which rose and fell with every breath.
My alarm clock snapped me out of my thought as it buzzed indicating it was 6 am already. I groan as I sit up on my bed resting my back on the headboard. I tried to lift my hand which was covered in dried blood but wince in pain at the stiffness. I couldn't move it as I tried to pull it with my uninjured hand.
My eyes shoot open as I realized I hurt my right palm instead of my left palm.
Shit!
What have I done?
The stupid tremor didn't make me think straight. How do I work in the office today? People are going to notice the bandage and I will have to keep giving them stupid excuses about how I accidentally hurt myself in the kitchen with a knife.
I ripped the blanket wrapped around me away and shift towards the edge of the bed. I need to take my bath and dress this wound. I said to myself as I got down from the bed standing on my feet when I felt a sharp spasm in my stomach.
Ugh! I groaned in pain as I flop back on the bed wrapping my uninjured hand around my stomach. I squeeze my eyes tightly at the cramps which made my stomach feel like a hot pot of burning coal.
What is happening to me? My stomach felt like it was torn into pieces. I tried to stand up but the shooting pain in my stomach prevented me. I was sweating profusely as I clutched my stomach and tried to find a position I could stay in to keep me from so much pain.
The cramps made me forget the wound on my right palm because it was worse than it.
After a seemingly endless twisting and turning spree, I finally settled in a fetal position, gripping my stomach and enduring the pain that wasn't subsiding.
Whenever this pain comes, once a month, I knew it was the time of the month. I hate pain relievers and I don't take one despite how I nearly died from the pain every blessed month.
The pain subsides a little and I know better to quickly stand up before the contraction hit me again. I cursed as I stand on my feet holding my stomach as I lean over.
I look at my bed and my bedspread was stained with my period blood. I pull the bedspread from the foam and limped to the bathroom with it.
I dumped the stained bedspread in the laundry basket and took off my pajamas dumping it also into it. Blood streamed down my legs as I pull down my pants and underwear which were soaked with blood. I washed the blood off my pants then lather it with detergent as I wash it clean and hang it on the underwear hanger.
My cramps are not helping the matter at all as I keep holding my stomach grunting in pain. I quickly run a hot bath, hop in the tub, and sat down. The feeling of being in the water made me relaxed as it subdue the cramp.
I close my eyes as I rest my back against the tub with my eyes closed. Once I felt the water getting cold, I stepped out of the tub and pulled the chain from the plug to drain the water mixed with my period blood. The cramps are now minimum. I get under the shower and wash my body with posh Twins shower gel then wash my hair with my lavender-scented shampoo. I rinsed my body with the water running down the shower then put the towel around my body and wrapped another around my wet hair.
I walked out of my bathroom into my room as I dried my body with the towel. I glanced up at the clock wall and I can't believe it's quarter to 8. I need to hurry up if I don't want to get late for work. I brought out the first aid box beside my nightstand and dress my injured palm before I wrapped a bandage over it. I laid a new and neat bedspread on my bed folding the blanket in the middle.
I remove the towel wrapped around my hair and took my hairdryer as I dried my wet hair and apply coconut oil to it. I skim my body with the snow White body cream and opened my underwear drawer. I pick out a period pant in its section and a pad. I tore the nylon wrapped around the pad open then place the adhesive part on the pant and staple the adhesive wing outside of the pant on both sides to secure in it its place. I wear the pant and walk to my walk-in closet. I pick out a dark ripped skinny jeans, a white plain t-shirt, a red blazer, and matching red heels to match.
I changed into my outfit and pick out a red handbag to match. I open the bag and drop three pads and two underwear into it then drop it on the bed. I combed my hair and put it in a bun as I sat down in front of my dressing table and apply my make-up.
Once it's ten minutes past 8, I am done and ready to leave home. I picked up my handbag and slung it across my shoulder. I pick up my car on the dressing table and walk out of my room downstairs.
I couldn't wait to have my breakfast because am already late as I open the entrance door and step out into my compound. I walk to the parking garage where my car was parked and unlock the door with the fob. I opened the driver's seat and entered as I drop my bag on the passenger seat.
I checked myself out again in the rear mirror before I start the car engine and skillfully maneuver out of the premises as the gate automatically opens.
By the time I get to work, it's 8:30 am already. I halt my car in front of the company building and step of my car with my bag flung across my shoulder.
" Good morning ma'am" The security guard greeted me as he run up to me. He offered to collect my bag but I politely decline the offer thanking him for the gesture.
" Please drive my car to the parking lot and bring my car key upstairs," I said throwing my car key to him as he quickly catch it.
" Yes, ma'am".
I walked into the company's building and everyone starts greeting me from every angle by slightly bending their heads as I walk by.
I walked towards the elevator and press the open button. I stepped in as the door opens. I punch in the number on the button to my office floor as the door closes.
I let out a sigh as the elevator begins to move. My cramps keep hitting me at every ten minutes interval though it's a minimum.
The elevator dings as it came to a halt and the door finally opens. I stepped out of it and heads to my office. I got into the receiving room and I couldn't find that bast*rd on seat.
Where's he?
I asked myself as I look around. It's been two weeks now and am yet to find anything suspicious about him. I detest him so much as I make him invisible to me because that's the only way to keep myself sane around him. For me, he was just a robot who followed my orders _ do my emails, makes letters and contracts then answer phone calls on my behalf. I don't trust him with my things so I don't send him to get me coffee or food like I did to my previous secretary.
I hate the way he stares at me. Anytime he stares at me, it seems like he could see right through me__my soul and I don't like how I feel about it. I am grateful he never speaks to me unless it's work-related.
I always make sure to avoid eye contact with him anytime I call for his attention. I don't know why I feel intimidated by him when it was supposed to be the other way round. First I am his boss and I am far way older than him. The boy is just twenty-three but looks more mature than his age.
I hope he's not late to work because I won't tolerate lateness. I walked towards my office's door entrance but jerk back at the sudden opening of the door.
He came out of my office and jumped back in fear when he saw me. I can't believe I scared the unscareable.
" What.. are you doing in my office?" I asked glaring at him.
" I...I..I.." he stutters.
Wow! This is the first time I see him off balance.
" What are you ....".
He didn't allow me to complete my sentence. " I came to drop the files" He quickly says as he composes himself.
"Oh!". I nod my head. "okay".
He took a glance at me before he walked past me to his office. I turn around as I watch him walk into his office and sit down.
Why did I find him strange this morning?
He would have given me that stupid smirk or done the eye thing that always makes me feel somehow but it seems he is avoiding my eye contact.
I shrugged my shoulder as I tear my eyes away from him and turn around as I walked towards the door. I turn the knob and open the door as I stepped into my office slamming the door shut.
I walked to my desk and dropped my bag on the desk. I tilt my head thinking. I find his behavior strange. I stood rooted to my spot as I realized something.
Wait!
The last time I checked, I locked my office door and I don't remember giving him a spare key.
How did he get in?
The files!
Oh my God!
I quickly rush towards my desk to find the project file and couldn't see it.
That bastard! I said through gritted teeth as I rushed out of my office and get another shock when I couldn't find him on his seat again.
Where's he?
My breath suddenly becomes irregular. I can't believe the b*stard is a thief sent to steal the project files. So he had to patiently wait for two weeks before he carried out his plan. "I am going to kill him," I said through gritted teeth sweating profusely.
I ran out of the receiving room to go ask the security guards if they saw him but stop in my track and got another shock of my life when I saw him giving a file to Mrs. Johnson.
" Su.Sugar!" I yelled out his name angrily earning their attention as they turn towards the direction my voice came from and I could see fear written on Mrs. Johnson's face as the file dropped from her hand.
" You are dead today," I said as I rushed toward them.
TBC............
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