30. Andante, Andante.

Mimi was asleep for ten weeks. Infection after another ravaged her frail body, and Colin did his best to get Mimi in some sort of shape. He took on one infection at a time, giving Mimi everything that he could while sending snarky updates to pack members. He would also record everything in Mimi's medical records and spare nothing. He gave Mimi visceral puree in an amount that her body could handle, and after four weeks, they had to operate again when the infection had destroyed most of her internal organs, so she had to grow new ones then. And after that, feeding and caring for her continued.

Charles was amazed at how poor the condition Mimi ended up with after Colin had gotten every single infection out of her. When Mimi woke up, she weighed only 36 kilos, but Magnum was ready. Much would depend on Mimi's, too. Charles and Colin found the rage blocker in Mimi's blood, but it diminished a lot when Colin's leprechaun made his magic and gave Mimi partial resistance to that substance. All of them knew that Mimi's rage would come out in some form, and it was important for the pack to hear Mimi's reaction, too.

I finally woke up when the sun shone in my eyes, and I looked around momentarily. I was in a strange place, and it took me a moment to rewind and wonder where I was. I was probably at Charles's house. Yeah, I was probably there. The door opened, Charles came in with a tray, and I smelled the coffee. For some reason, the coffee hit me.

I stretched. I had a nightgown on me; it was actually one of my own. I felt like I had been asleep for quite a while, and the autumnal scene that I saw from the windows made it quite clear. But to be honest, I had been in pretty damn rough shape to begin with, so this was not so big of a surprise.

I was thankful to feeling as well as I did. 

Charles brought the tray to my lap after I got in a better position and said, "You have been here a little over ten weeks; let's just say that Colin had his work cut out in you. You were, or your body was, pissed off to Damon, so his blood caused an allergic reaction and anything that he might have done from his fangs, so this is all Colin's work to get you in this good of shape. I have Magnum here for you ready, too, but I guess you want to tell your pack your opinion on the whole punishment system."

I ate already. I was not so surprised at my allergy; it was an excellent lesson for Salvatore, and oh yes, I had something to say to pack. I had lot to be said, and I would not be kind little Mimi or even forgiving wife right now.

I said, "Yes, my pack will hear a few truths in time. Thank you for saving me. I was pretty nasty shape. And where is Colin?"

He said, "Colin had to go back to Ireland, and you are welcome. I can save you anytime, honey. "

I thanked him for breakfast and went back to eat. I didn't even notice that Charles had gone nowhere, but watched with interest as I quickly destroyed the entire tray.

Charles asked, " Do you want some more? You are eating like you have ever seen food. Magnum has been here too, almost all the time, and he brought clothes and stuff for you. I have room, so there is no hurry for you to leave. You are still quite skeletal, honey."

I nodded. There was still room for me, even if I wasn't hungry. I ate three more portions and was just getting into the shower. 36, not bad, considering what I went through. I spent a week or so with Charles as he and Magnum wanted to feed me first, so I was at least 40 kilos. Again, I had men feeding me and caring for me as well. I could see from both of them they were shocked more or less what shape I had been and how hard it had been to get me in this shape. I was doctor.

I did some flea work with Magnum and cursed heavily as it became apparent that I had to go to Lake Lanier, all because of the pack. Well, more for me to tell them. Time to get my message across. I prepared for my little teaching session for the pack and printed out a few papers. I was furious. This time they would learn and properly too. Time to let them know just who this lesson hit and properly.

I called Colin, thanked him too, and asked him a few statements. He sent those statements to me so I could print my teaching material out. Then I was ready. I thanked Charles, and he took me to join the pack in Connecticut. I went to the house. And I took a deep breath. This was gonna be a real blast. Mimosa was furious as I was, yet I knew I had no time to unleash my rage yet. 

The men were sitting in the living room when I came in. I looked at them all murderously, and every one of them stood still. I took a deep breath, and I started. I had a stack of papers with me. 

"You four idiots, you four fools, you pussy-licking lazy worms. Now I'm wondering if I want to be in this pack anymore. This is now time for some lessons for all of you. Now, you don't get to say anything; I will do the talking and have some educational material with me. First, I get tricked into a party where there are witches, and I get made into a fertility statue. Put me in a cage with a uterine infection and forget about me. Luckily, Nick and Elias helped. And oh, did we talk? I was Nick's therapist half the time, so I got to model again."

My voice was venomous, angry, and bitter, and all the men looked at me a little uncertainly, too, even Bran. I did not control my facial expressions or my body language, let it show. Let them feel my rage, my emotions.

"Then, when I've recovered enough to buy an island, I get a gig in Europe. Saving the world. I do it all alone when you had to get to fuck and drink for being so damn weak. Not come to be with me, but, again, choose other women before me. That told me clearly where I stand. That gig was brutal; fleas were very busy, so it was up to me, mimosa, and Mirella to get things done because, even though I was in the pack, the pack was not my backup. And I get to be a fucking Marrok for months on top of that. Then, when the gig is over. The pack's doctor comes to put me right and leaves me in Monaco. The pack doctor. "

I stressed the word doctor because that's what Damon had been—the doctor. I continued. I was on a roll. I looked at him, straight in the eyes as well as Adam and my contempt was evident as I looked at Bran. He was something I would find bottom of my shoe. 

"When I woke up, I got to work. I'm a flea, and I'm doing gigs. You all know that. I had an impromptu gig, and I knew none of you would understand the importance of this gig. Instead, Damon, you were supposed to be my husband and my partner, and you would have been my backup. You were a tongue twister. No, the wife's got her neck snapped, and we're showing off to the bunch. Help, this one is doing missions. Haven't I even been fucking doing missions for 20 years! This was all for thanks to Bran, right? You have serious issue with me and I can tell you that you are lazy, old creature who is not do his job. I do know it, I was marrok for freaking seven months so I know how much trouble wolves are. You are letting them down. You are nothing more fucking machine trying to find pussy for yourself. You want to come at me, use Damon as your weapon."

I was getting on a roll here. This was going to blow things out. Bran paled. Damon glanced him at very sharply, oh did Mr. Salvatore guessed this? Bo hoo. Too late to do something to Bran. He does not learn.

"Now, let's talk about actions and consequences. The little stunt you prevented me from doing my job led to a tragic outcome for so many. First of all, I lost 14 fleas, all because now that facility was top secret and so were other Sark facilities, so I have to go to carve some names again; I did not do my job, and people b got killed."

I took brief pause, before continuing. 

"Then let me ask you, Damon, are you a sadist or masochist? Does it give you freedom when you do your little stunts to get Damien on the surface? He is not you, I can tell, but he is strong, and he manipulates you. Does it feel free to let him destroy me? No need to answer. Adam, you are not my second in command anymore; that stays, no matter what you stay, because I need my second in command to have his priorities lying elsewhere than being Bran's lap poodle. "

I took out my prints. First, I approached Bran. "For you, Bran, I give you a list. These are all dead werewolves, a direct result of that because that facility was not destroyed. There is an address where loved ones can collect these bodies. Now you get to call each of these families and tell them the death of a loved one. This other list is from that facility too, our hackers got it. There are some more wolves. And what they did for them before they were burned. You get to inform families too that they don't get have funeral, or if they do, it is empty coffin. And there will be no justice for them, not yet."

I looked Bran in the eye, letting my vampire side come out. So this was a compulsion.

I said, " And you tell them when they ask why you did not fleas save them, you will tell them you prevented flea from doing her job. That these deaths are the result of your actions. You tell them that you know Flea but you have problems with me doing my job, if they ask more, you tell them honestly."

Bran nodded. He took the list and looked at it; there was genuine regret in his eyes as he saw who had lost their lives because he prevented me from doing my job. He also saw just how many had already been killed before, burned, and what they had suffered. But I was relentless. 

I gave Bran another stack of papers. "Here is Colin's report on my state when Charles saved me. He wrote it so you can understand. It is a long report, so read it carefully. There is also telling what jellying does to me and that cage of yours, the one that sprays silver and herbs. He wrote his opinion on that, too. I am now sterile, yet I have very little womb and very insignificant ovaries, so no heat is coming in anytime soon. "

I moved up to Damon and gave him a stack of papers too, and a list. "For you, husband of mine, here are dead vampires. They are not in ashes, Sark's invention keeps them intact. There are quite long descriptions of what that facility enabled Sark to do. "

He looked at me, not showing emotions, but i knew that few of them at least were his. He had been their sire. My voice was quite poisonous as I carried on.

"And for your information. I was going to blow up that facility, not going in, but you had to silence me so I couldn't say the truth, because Bran had by that time, gotten your rage out. You are as sloppy as I am and even more uncontrollable when you blow out your rage; you see nothing else than what you want. You don't see it when Bran uses you, you don't bother to read his mind. Not really. You somehow trust him, you must have some pretty damn big problem with me doing my job." 

I gave him next stack of papers. I felt no mercy.

"Here are Colin's official records on my care, operations, and drugs; they are all in my files, too, but I printed them for you to read now. Did you know that instead of a honeymoon, I have gotten nothing else than torture for you? I have no idea what idea Damien put in your head when you had to come in my cage, put more drugs, and kick me as long as I vomited in that cage; that was you."

Damon was silent. He looked at the list as 45 vampires, too.

I moved up to Adam and gave him a list, too.

"I am sure you recognized these dead fleas. These are dead because, once again. You went along. You were not my second in command, not my mate, but Bran's lapdog. You know how freaking hard it is for me to lose my people, and thanks to your guys, I lost again my friends. You get to read my medical records too. You can think how you fucked and drank for a week when Damon returned after nine weeks of absence. And you did not even think of me." I gave him a stack, too. 

I walked up to Samuel and gave him a few stacks. "Here is for you; you disappointed me. You went along, not trusting me, not remembering how freaking long I have done my work. Here are a few medical records and autopsy reports on what the facility does to people. That facility was in its early stages; there were no victims there yet, but now there are."

I looked at him in the eye, i was not going sparing anyone of these idiots, not at all.

"We got those victims' corpses when my people raided cold storage vans that were left at that facility. Here are my medical records, too. You see, my enemies are like Sark; they evolve as well as we do. Now, they are not putting up crematoriums in the facility, but they have a different place for burning bodies, thus cold storage vans. There are also few intelligence reports on just how many body transports there have been sighted."

He took the papers, his hands shook slightly. I was still furious as I continued. 

"And my people are busy. We don't have time to raid each van and get those corpses to their family. So, once again, I have to make a hard decision to let bad guys burn their evidence when I am trying to save lives here. Let's just see what you come up next. How many lives will be lost? "

Oh, I got a good kick out of it. They just don't get it. They weren't part of my organization, part of my life, not at all.

The men were ashamed, regretting even Damon, when they started to read my papers about everything. I gave them a lesson about what stuck for a while.

I continued still. "The punishment for trying to save the world. Oh, yeah. I think Magnum and Higgins told you pretty much exactly how I feel, jellying. Not good, so terrible that I'd rather be unconscious. Then Mr. Salvatore trains me, first cursing me with witches' stuff, but as I'm quite a unique case, they were quite stronger than you thought. Wasn't that the case?" My voice was as furious as it had been, I was reacting here and it was not so nice when I let it all out.

"As you can read from my little notes that I have included there, it was over eight weeks in the shed when Damien dipped my tortured, mangled body in salt water, and it still bubbled; he dipped me eight times. Until curses were broken, I remember you, Damon, telling me that those curses were in small doses and the duration would be a maximum of two weeks. In my case, it is not like that. "

I was silent and finally said, " No excuses, no nothing. You have no excuse, no one. Just have another party or take rescue girls for me again. Don't think I've got the rage just under the surface coming out. Damien blocked my rage. I have now just gotten it out properly. So I am not in so a tender loving mood for now. Learn your goddamn lesson; think of lives that are lost because I did not get that damn facility blown up when I had the chance. Damien warned about Sark, what I had almost done, so there went a lot of gigs. "

I walked away upstairs. I went to sit on the bed and sighed. I put my rage down. Now would not be the time for this. I would not run away from here. I'd just watch the men leave for sure, and fast. They can't stand the way women feel, especially when they know they're guilty. I sat up for a couple of hours, and now I went into an empty kitchen and an empty house to eat, as I said—cowardly bastards. I had reacted. 

I went to one bedroom and called Jarod, told him everything, my reaction as well, he was impressed, telling to me keep on reacting, letting my emotions feel. Not becoming robot with no feeling. We talked about things about four hours and it helped as always. He got me. He saw things same way as I did.

I wouldn't go to work now. The first on my list was a trip to Lake Lanier. That was the must thing to do. I was so pissed off at how this whole deal made the world worse than it was before. Now, it was hard to be a leader. It was hard to be the Flea, so I didn't yet want to be. 

Despite our wins and big ones, these damn losses were way too heavy burden for me to carry and no lesson given to men would make it anymore lighter. My choice, my organization, my burden. Always and forever.

After Lake Lanier, it would be time to do something that I could enjoy. Now, I'd go to a local farmers' market, empty my safe deposit boxes, and go to our Texas castle. We had a wedding there, but it's a big place, and you can get aquariums there. I'm thinking of going all the way to the pet store to buy fish. As I was eating my homemade food there because there wasn't any made for me in the fridge, I wondered when I would have those good times again that made my soul sing.

Oh, that I could use some of those too. After eating, I left to drive to Texas Castle once again by myself. Oh, that my life is fucked up sometimes, but I decided to start enjoying every little thing again and not tie my happiness to men because the fools didn't appreciate it, not one bit.