Chapter 1: Torment of a Tortured Soul

Trigger Warning: Mentions of suicide and depression ahead.

...............

Beacon Academy, Vale City, Kingdom of Vale

Arwan 9th, 90 A.G.W

Jaune Arc: First Person POV

The dining hall was the worst.

The glares.

The whispers.

Those disappointed faces.

They are driving me mad. Every single time that I walk in, I am reminded of my biggest secret.

That's why I eat the little protein bars and tiny water bottles that I have gathered with me at the rooftop. It's quiet here.

No more glares.

No more whispers.

And especially, no more of those looks.

This is where I find my peace, no matter how small or short-lived it is.

It's also where I sleep too, given the circumstances of where I am today.

I caught myself sighing as I collapsed to floor, hunger and a lack of sleep finally taking a toll on me. Because of my insistence to avoid everyone during free time and the constant attacks of nightmares keeping me mostly awake, darkness fell over me as the nightmare of that day washed over me.

...............

1 month ago

Beacon Academy, Vale City, Kingdom of Vale

Priam 5th, 90 A.G.W

Jaune Arc: First Person POV

It all start as normal day. It was a Friday and everyone was looking forward to a day to rest in or go to downtown Vale tomorrow. We just have one more class to go, which was Professor Goodwitch's Combat Class.

Just my luck. Of all the class to end a perfectly good Friday with, it had to be one I fail at the most.

Oh well, I too excited for tomorrow to really care about her class. Tomorrow, I going to sleep in, train with my team for bit, go with Ruby to Vale to pick up new comics, and have date night with my girlfriend at a fancy restaurant on the other side of the city.

All in all, it was going to be a good day tomorrow so nothing can change my current mood.

Or so I thought.

As the Team and I reached our spots in class, we spotted our sister team, Team RWBY, waving us over. Well, it was more of Ruby doing the waving while Yang greeted us with mischievous look, Weiss gave us(me) a huff, and Blake with small, lovely smile.

"Hey Jaune," Ruby said with enthusiasm as I sat down next to her and Blake.

"Hey Ruby. Ready for tomorrow?" I asked in joyful tone. She was about to respond when I got kicked in the shins.

Grunting in pain, I turned to look over to perpetrator and saw the resident cat faunus of Team RWBY glaring at me. I gulped and said, "Sorry, Blake, I should have greeted you that first."

Her glare intensified as she placed her left hand on my arm in a vice like grip and started to putting pressure to it and given her slightly enhanced strength, hurts like hell. "Ow. Ow. Ow~, Blake, please stop, your hurting me!" I hissed as I tried to reason with the black hair beauty of Team RWBY. When I saw that didn't work(in fact I think she increased the pressure), I knew drastic measures were need.

"My Midnight Kunoichi, please, if let go off me, I'll buy the new edition of Ninjas of Love tomorrow along with spending some quality time with you tomorrow."

Blake's face turn beet red with surprise and embarrassment as she quickly looked away while muttering, "N-n-next time, greet me first before Ruby." Rest of us heard what she said and laughed, or, in Weiss' case, smiled at her expense. I shook my head and muttered, "I remember it for next time, my lovely Goddess." The feline's face turned even redder before issuing a quiet reply saying, "You better, my idiotic knight."

I smiled to that as Yang tried to pressure her partner into spilling what I meant with quality time. As much I like to torture my little kitten for putting me through all that pain, I knew sympathetically how much of teaser Yang is if the ball gets rolling and I know if I didn't help her out of this mess, Blake is going to punish me so it's in my best interest to her.

So as I decided to save my girlfriend from the pun-ter, we all noticed that Professor Goodwitch just entered the class. Silence followed over like thick blanket as no one want detention for today or even worse, tomorrow, for speaking during her lectures. The professor cleared her throat before saying, "Good afternoon class, I hope that you all finished the paper on the how the Blitz Screen tactic is ineffective against the Grim?"

Dead silence.

Those were the two words that would describe the atmosphere right now. Ruby and Blake looked with shock with rest of class going pale. I just sighed before looking into my bag, praying with all might that it's in there. To my greatest relief, it was there. I knew I didn't forget my paper in the library again. This time, I came prepared.

Smiling triumphantly, I raised my hand in complete confidence. Professor Goodwitch noticing my expression, walk up to me in "What is it, Mr.Arc? Have you finished the paper that you that's due today?"

"As a matter a fact, I do," I smirked as I gave her my paper. Her eyes widen a bit before going back to her normal expression. She then turned around to face the rest of the class, who were gobsmacked by the fact that I, Jaune Arc, managed to not only to remember but finish the paper on time.

Then Professor Goodwitch spoke up: "Thank you, Mr. Arc. Now does anyone else have their paper?" All she got was blank stares so she continued, "Well, since it looks like Mr. Arc is only one who completed their papers, everyone else have to do theirs by tomorrow with double the length."

Everyone else groaned as a few glares with sent my way, especially Weiss, who surprisingly forgot about the assignment. I looked beside me for a second to see Blake, who looks kind of annoyed. When she caught my gaze, she gave tried give a small glare, which I find to be a more a cute pout. I gave her small smirk before mouthing that I'll help tonight so we can go on our date tomorrow. She gave me hard look before turning it back into a smile. Aw man, nothing can get better than this.

"Mr. Arc, you also get the privilege to go last in our combat training to day."

Scratch that. This might be the best part of the day. While I'm improving in my spars with Pyrrha and Blake, I'm still considered the weakest of my year. I have no desire of sparring with the likes of Cardin, Yang, or even Ruby. I don't want my perfectly good Friday ruined by having my ass kicked so early on in combat class. The rest of the class made a minor groan before we moved on with class.

While Professor Goodwitch droned on about different battle tactics that would work the Grim and other rouge humans/faunus, the rest of us feel the impending excitement and fear in the air. Once she finished the lecture, she called out Yang and this one other random guy to the arena. That's when I knew from the start that it wasn't a fair fight.

The guy had a teleportation semblance with a machine gun that can transform into two small axes. He tried to confuse her, but Yang smart enough to have figured out his movements and used his constant movement to deliver a stunning victory. She waited until he appeared behind her and promptly grabbed him by the arm. Yang then proceed in twirling him around like a rag doll until throwing him out of bounds.

The worst part about it was the fact that he hit the wall so hard that his aura level in the red. Then the unnamed student fell down into a sickening heap. I winched at the display that Yang put out. While I felt bad for the guy that had to face her, I felt bit relieved that I wasn't the one to fight her.

The next fight was between Weiss and Nora. It went as you expect.

Knowing that Nora was a heavy fighter, Weiss opted for quick attacks that would land devastating blows while maintaining distance most of time to avoid the wrathful blows of Magnhild. Nora on the other hand, laughed with glee as she tanked some of the hits. She waited until Snow Angel passed by in one of her attacks before shifting Magnhild from it's hammer form into grenade launcher form and fired one at her opponent.

Weiss, being caught unguarded, exploded away from Nora when on her pink grenades hit the heiress and she was sent flying over to the out of bounds section.

But before she can reach there, Weiss recovered from the attack and used one of her glyphs to fly back into the arena.

As she landed, Weiss looks up with determination as she lets out a battle cry. Nora, sporting an insane looks, shifted Magnhild back into her hammer form before charging out to meet the Ice Queen. They meet at the center as both Weiss and Nora exchanged blow for blow in close-quarters combat. Weiss parried and stabbed with every move with Myrtenaster while using her dust in deadly, but elegant way. Meanwhile Nora either tanked the dust fueled attacks, blocking Myrtenaster with hilt, or swinging her mighty hammer with her enhanced strength. They were at it, blow by blow, as their aura reserves went from green to orange and was getting dangerously to red.

With one clash of furious power, both combatants were pushed back a couple meters. With both Weiss and(surprisingly) Nora are both low aura. We then knew whoever strikes the next blow, wins the match. Weiss looked to be exhausted, clearly not expecting to go this way but wasn't giving up against the Valkyrie just yet. Nora, who to me and the other's surprise, showed some semblance of tiredness before vanishing under her usual battle grin.

Both combatants looked at each other one final time before they both charged with their war cries for the glory victory. But as they about to land their finishing blows, the timer rang and Professor Goodwitch called time. Both sides let out exhausted smiles they shook their hands before going back into the locker rooms.

"Now then, the next and last match for today is Jaune Arc vs...Dove Bronzewing." Professor Goodwitch announced as she looked up from her papers. I just turned and smiled nervously at my opponent. Dove just looked at me with contempt and turned away with an angry huff. I sighed as I watched him enter the locker room. Ever since the incident at Forever Falls, Team CRDL stopped bullying me. Whether out some semblance of respect for taking out that Ursa in one go or out embarrassment for having the weakest student of our year save their skins, Cardin and his gang stayed clear of me. But whenever I gaze met, I see the looks of mild anger or, in Dove's case, pure hatred for me.

I sighed again as someone grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I turn my head around to see my girlfriend giving a comforting look before urging for me to go on with the match. I smiled a little in returned and started to head to the locker room as rest my friends shouted few words of encouragement behind me.

I walked down the rows of the rocket lockers before finally arriving at mine. Once I opened it, I picked my trusty sword, Crocea Mors, and my ever reliable shield, Crocea Vita. I held both before collapsing my shield into sheathe and putting my blade into it. I donned on my light armor and headed towards the arena entrance. I took a deep breath before remembering all of my training time with my team and Blake. While I have improved and able to win some fights with ease know, I doubt if can I hold myself against with likes of Dove. But instead of turning back and running away I did previous times in the past, I held my head high and marched right in with a steely look.

As I entered, I noticed Dove just arrived with his gun sword, Hallshott, already drawn out and in his hand in a battle stance. I drew out Crocea Mors from it's sheathe before transforming Crocea Vita to it's shield form. We stared hard at each other as it was so silent that a drop of pin needle could be heard.

Both of us were prepared to attack on moments notice as we waited for Professor Goodwitch to begin match. She looked at each of us to confirm that we are ready before raising her hand before dropping it in a chopping motion as she say, "Begin!" With that, both rushed at each other.

Dove charged in at me with a furious roar as he pointed Hallshott at me and fired the gun mechanism. Fire dust charged shots were soaring behind me as I raised my shield to block the ones I couldn't dodge. We met at the center as I swung my sword in a downward arc. Dove quickly switched from long ranged to short ranged attacks as he blocked the strike that was coming above him. Noticing I lost power in the momentum of the strike, I used Crocea Vita to shield bash his unprotected side. My opponent winced in pain as jump back before swinging Hallshott. I parried his strike and tried to side sweep his feet. But he managed to jump back and tried again. I just blocked his move and we clashed with complete furiosity for a bit.

Then when it was seeming to go nowhere, Dove suddenly drove his sword to the ground.

Me, who surprisingly who thought these things through, went stupidly for for him and that's how I find out that Dove activated his semblance. A force field made of his aura slammed into Crocea Mors, forcing my sword hand to go backward, causing me to temporarily lose balance. Dove seeing this, smirked cruelly as he fired 'last' dust round at me. My eyes widen as I rushed to protect my chest with my shield as slammed into it. Then it exploded.

The force of the impact and heat of the fire dust pushed me back as well as drained some of my aura. That's when I heard my friends and Blake cry out my name. Just hearing just pissed me off. I always hated causing people I care about distress, especially with my little kitten. I would do anything to stop that.

Anything.

So I gritted my teeth and managed to to flip my body and stabbed my sword into ground, causing me to slow down enough not go over bounds as I land on the ground on my feet. I just made just in time too, considering the line to get out of the match was right behind me.

Not wasting any time, I charged at Dove, who at this point looked absolutely murderous, rushed at me with same vigor. I know I couldn't change tide of this battle by using my usual style, Dove was unfortunately too skilled in the classical Vale style of fighting that both of us use. That's when I decided to do something drastic.

As we were to clash at center, I quickly dodged Dove's Hallshott as switched my gripped from the normal grip to a reversed one. My foes eyes widen as I slashed upwards, forcing his blade back before I switched grips and swung Crocea Mors down, striking at his chest causing his aura levels to go down to yellow.

Dove, and rest of the class in fact, widen their eyes in shock before Nora broke out and yell, "Yay! You go get him, Fearless Leader!"

Rest of the class recovered my display as the rest of Team JNPR and RWBY yelled shouts of encouragement as Team CRDL and some others cried out to Dove to not let me beat him. Dove just gritted his teeth and snarled at me. "You will pay dearly for that, Arc!" He snarled as he charged at me again. "Bring it on, " I responded as swords clashed once again again.

CLANG.

BAFF.

ZONK.

WHAM.

KERPLANG!

These were the noises that were heard when Hallshott met Crocea Mors and Vita. Dove's attacks seemed to be more angered and less controlled as he tried to overwhelm me with brute strength. I on the other hand, tried to keep myself calm and relaxed as possible as I blocked and parried his strikes with ease. I also switch grips to confuse him at random intervals as I whittled my way through his aura. But that didn't mean that all his attacks for nothing. Dove also managed to get some hits in as we continued our intense battle. After a while our aura came close to red. We both knew that the next strong hit can decided to match.

That's when Dove made a mistake.

He stabbed forward as I stepped sided. Then all those lessons with Blake and times I trained with Pyrrha came back to me. I knew what to do in that moment. I swung Crocea Mors to the mini cross guard of Dove's blade before locking and twisting on to it before pushing our weapons high above our heads. Then his blade flew of his hands, effectively disarming him.

Everyone's eyes wide in shock as I brought my blade to Dove's neck, who collapsed with pure shock as Hallshott clattered to floor next to him. It didn't take long before cheers rang out with Nora, Ruby, and Blake leading them. I grinned I pressed against his skin as his aura flared up. "Do you give up now Dove, or should I knock you out?" I said triumphantly.

Dove just glared with utmost loathing before blurting out so loud something so surprising...so dreadful.

"I would rather go to hell before ever surrendering to guy who faked his way into Beacon!!!"

The cheers to that once dominated the air before were falling into waves of dead silence. Everything went quiet as soon as Dove's remark has been ever been uttered. The students and the professor was equally shocked. I felt dread build in stomach as looked at Dove in horror as he continued. "Folks you heard that right! Jaune Arc has never attended training to school, passed any test, or even got recommended to go here. He just got his hand some fake transcripts and for some insane reason, he was accepted here. The person you see before is a civilian who cheated his way into the huntsman life!"

No.

No,no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No.

My worst fears have came to fruition. The secret that I desperately try to keep, is now out in the open. Tears started to form around my eyes as I slowly turned my head to look at the crowd. Most people looked either shocked, surprised, or both. Professor Goodwitch had raised eyebrows but eyes shone with disappointment. Then I turn to my friends as despair took a nosedive from there.

Ruby and Nora looked like she was in complete denial. Ren and Weiss appeared to be gobsmacked. Yang looked hurt with a hint anger in her face. And Blake...Blake just faced with utter sadness and betrayal in her face. Tears started flow out her eyes. Her mouth was moving before I saw movement behind me. I just turned to around to see Hallshott aimed at me as the blade fired it's true final round. Pain erupted as shock wave from the explosion, the heat of the fire dust, and shatter of aura flung me out of bounds and and headed right to the cement wall. The last thing I heard was the ring of an explosion and a scream from the crowd.

...............

Ever since that day, everyone avoid me.

And I avoid everyone.

While we still see each other in classes and out in the halls, I tend to disappear to into the crowd and rush to each class. Once classes are over, I take refuge in the the empty classrooms and the roof that Beacon has to offer. I didn't worry too much since no one ever looked for me anyway.

Just like back home.

While was now awake from the flashback, my eyes are still coated with fresh tears they just kept rolling down. I tried to compose myself but epically failed as I looked up towards the night sky. The night sky is clear with some stars and the broken moon making up the glow of the natural darkness. Though soon, the dawn of a new day will be coming.

'You knew what was going to happen,' a dark voice within me chided to myself as I continued to self-loath. 'The fact that you and CRDL managed to keep it a secret for so long is nothing short but a miracle. Now everyone knows what dirty little liar you are and hates you for it.'

No. That's not true, my friends-

'Your friends? Ha! Please don't me laugh! You lied to them all. You saw the other betrayal on your team's and Team RWBY's face.'

My body felt ten degrees colder as I remember as each their reaction after the news. Each one reacted differently and affected me on all aspects.

Ruby was devastated. Her first friend ever, the one that help her and Team RWBY over and over again, is revealed to be a fraud. In denial at first, she was shown later the video that Cardin has taken mouths ago on this very roof by Dove. Having no choice but to accept it, Ruby tries to act friendly but it's clear to us a gap has grown, making her grow distance over the last couple of weeks. She won't my eyes and often look at me during class with a sad expression. Not wanting to make more sad, I distance myself from her and avoided Ruby as much as possible.

Yang took a more aggressive approach. We have grown closer at the start of the semester due to Ruby being her sister and Blake being her partner. So it was understandable after 2 weeks after learning the truth about me, Yang dragged me into an empty room to say to never speak to anyone on Team RWBY, especially Ruby and Blake. That I will only drag them them down. That I might accidentally kill them on the mission because I was there. I saw the heated anger and the twinge of sadness in her eyes as she spoke to me. Seeing that there is no point in arguing with her, I just nodded sadly, tears silently fell as walked away from me. While I was extremely sadden, I didn't argue with her at all. After all, every word she said was true.

Weiss seemed colder to me than ever before. Even I was flirting with her in the first semester, nothing can compare to the treatment she gives now. Though our relation to each other slightly thawed after I started dating Blake, it was point were she could tolerate my presence and smile little at my antics. Now, she just ignores me. Weiss don't even acknowledge me like I don't even exist anymore. And each time I go near here, the air around her drops to sub zero temperature until I went away. I got her message loud and clear. She doesn't me around her or her friends. Honestly, I can't blame. So I just head her wishes and mostly stayed clear of Team RWBY.

Ren and Nora were shocked at first. Like Ruby, they were in denial until Cardin showed them the video proof. They were very saddened by the fact. Ren felt very betrayed but was also disappointed me as he held to a high regard. Nora is just too ashamed to look me in the eye. I guess after the tragic events that transpired in Kuroyuri, they looking for someone leaded them into bright future, not bleak one that only a failure could accomplish. Failure like him. So when the dorm became unconformable for him and rest of the team, I took the easy way out and left o-their dorm for good. It was for the sake of the team anyway. After all, who would want a failure to lead them into battle?

Pyrrha knew about my situation before hand. I thought nothing much have changed but I should have figure. The weeks leading from that talk on this very balcony to when I asked Blake out, she became very distant. I should have seen the signs. Her, a great warrior and terrific huntress-in-training, should not have a weak and bumbling failure as partner or as her leader. She tried to talk to me these past couple weeks but like Ruby, Pyrrha just backed off at the last second every time. I guess all those people from the beginning was right. I should have died in the forest. At least then Pyrrha could have found someone like her. Someone who wasn't a bastard like me.

And Blake...

Tears streamed down my face as silent sobs racked my body. She was the worst of them all...

...............

1 month ago, 7 Hours Later

Beacon Academy, Vale City, Kingdom of Vale

Priam 5th, 90 A.G.W

Jaune Arc: First Person POV

I woke up with a start as cold sweat flared up all round my body. I gasped rapidly as my bearings came to me. I was in a white room. There were green sheet blocking most of my view of the room. The lights was also out too, meaning night has already have been fallen. I turned around, thinking I just see more pitch black. Thankfully, the window's curtain is uncovered with the dazzling glow of moonlight giving me enough sight to see.

That's when I saw Blake.

With all the racket I made when I was waking up and trying to figure out where I was, she woke from her sleep on the chair next to me. Her gorgeous amber eyes slowly opened up. The Kunoichi of Team RWBY looked in my direction in tiredness until she saw I was awake. Blake then proceed to crush me in tight hug. I could feel the life being squeezed out of me. I was going to tell to calm down when I felt some wet drops on shoulders. I didn't what it was until Blake started shaking

Blake was crying.

My Blake.

I gently patted her back as she calmed down a bit. She brought her head up. We looked at each other for moment. Then we closed our eyes and brought our lips into a kiss before slowly pulling out. While the moment was brief and silent, Blake's emotions spoke volumes.

Relief.

Hurt.

Happy.

Sad.

Betrayal.

After the kiss, we look at before closing our eyes and brought our heads to together. It was silent. Blake's sobs turned to just tears rolling down her eyes. I couldn't say much because I was doing the same thing. It was quiet for a little bit more before Blake pulled away and asked the questioning that I am dreading.

"Jaune..." Blake asked in a shaky tone. "I have to know."

I squeezed my eyes shut before she asked, "Di-did you ch-ch-cheat your way into Be-Beacon?"

I broke into tears. So, the truth is out. I was going to her. I swear, I was going to tell her. I was going to everyone. Pyrrha already knew but I was going to tell Nora, Ren, Ruby, Yang, Weiss, and Blake, I swear. I just needed to time to break to them slowly about truth of my transcripts and my past. I was going to tell them.

But Dove ruined that.

Some anger fired up in veins before being drowned out but sadness. So what if Dove told everyone? He just sped up the timeline where the truth would eventually get out. I am just surprised Cardin wasn't the one to reveal it. I always thought that since he hated me, he love nothing more than to torture me by revealing it. But with Dove, I think no one would have expected it.

But did that matter in the end anyway?

No.

Now the whole school would know by now.

I tired to clearly think of proper way to go about explaining my shameful past before waves of stress loathing and stress finally caught up with me. Then, all I could do is break down completely and start to rant. "I-I-I'm so sorry, Blake. I didn't mean to I swear! If could have gone to a proper combat school, I would do it! Bu-bu-but my family, they didn't train me. They didn't want me to become a huntsman. They didn't believe in me. Care for me. Want me. But I swear, I did try get here on some experience! I spent the last 12 fucking years training myself with a wooden sword and shield, so that one day...ONE DAY I will have the right to the the last things that my grandfather left behind for me. I trained day and night, but to everyone else, I was just swinging a stick around in the air and falling to ass when I swung to hard. Things got so bad back home that I finally left last year. I was moving place to place until one day, a man offered me a fake transcript to Beacon. I thought it was my escape. The only way to my dream. To become someone that the people rely on. To BE FUCKING USEFUL FOR ONCE IN MY GODDAMN LIFE!!! And-and-and-"

"JAUNE!" Blake exclaimed as I had stop because my chest started to hurt and my head begun spinning. I clutched my head as the pain in my brain starts to grow. Blake, worried, asked, "Jaune are y-"

"I am fine," I whispered, my rant draining me all of me energy. All the fire and energy I had in me are gone. In place of it, a desolate emptiness with only sadness filling up the space.

It was quiet for the next couple of the minutes. The only sounds in room is the beeping of the monitor, the breeze outside of the window, and me trying to get my breathing back in control. We both didn't move, afraid of what might happen if we did. I kept my head while Blake turned look away from me. Whether because she can't see me in this state or she seemed to ashamed to look me in the face.

If is the latter...well...

I deserve it anyway.

After all while, I felt Blake finally gazing at me along with sensation of her fingers touching my hand. While it felt pleasant, there is something...odd to her touch. There is a slight coldness to it. I ponder on that for a sec before I heard Blake saying, "Jaune."

I finally turned my attention to her. By now, Blake's tears nearly had completely stop. But you looked closely, you can see some tear stains on her otherwise divine face. But you can see some other emotion than sadness in her eyes. Believe me, I known her for quite a while now so can pick up on the subtle signs. Whatever she is planning ask next, I dread for it now.

"Jaune," Blake asked timidly, almost afraid of asking it. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

I looked out into the window. I couldn't see much of the Emerald Forest due to the window blocking most of my view. But from the view I am seeing, it's absolutely stunning. The slight swaying of the trees. The twinkling of stars. The gorgeous stretch of the nearby nebula. The brilliant glow of the moon.

Most of all, it is the silence. The blissful silence that's only interrupted by the occasional silent breeze.

It was a magnificent night.

But Blake...was much more than that.

More lovely than the night sky. More elegant than the doves that dance in the sky. A voice gifted by the Muses. A figure blessed by the Heavens themselves. A dark, beautiful angel that fell to Earth.

My Blake.

How could I taint her divineness with such filth? Such ugliness? And corrupt her image if the news got out? There is no way I am doing that.

But was I ever going to tell her?

YES.

OF COURSE I WAS GOING TELL HER TRUTH! Not just her. Pyrrha, Ren, Nora, Ruby, Yang, Weiss, EVERYONE! I WAS GOING TO TELL EVERYONE THE TRUTH!!!!

The only reason why I haven't done it before is because I am a coward.

A coward who ran away from home.

A coward who cheated their way into one of the world's most prestigious places, taking the spot of someone who truly deserve it.

A coward who can't be a perfect partner for the 'Invincible Girl' or even be a perfect leader for Team JNPR.

A coward who can't swing the sword the right FUCKING way.

A COWARDLY BASTARD WHO DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT TO STAND NEXT SUCH..SUch...such....

.

.

.

Heroes.

.

.

.

But was I ever gonna tell them? Tell her?

.

.

.

"Yes," I answered after a long time, refusing to look her in the eye just like the coward I am. I can feel her gaze on me. But it was...strange.

It wasn't a hateful, piercing glare. It wasn't a cold, defeated stare. It was more like...a mixture of both. There is warmth in the gaze but there is a inkling of coldness in it.

It was silent once before I heard Blake croak, "When?"

"Not until I was ready," I told her quietly.

"How long until you would have been ready?"

"I...I...I don't know," I answered quietly in a defeated tone

The room become deadly quiet once again. It was starting to drive me mad. I need a reaction form her. Laugh. Cry. Whisper. Scream. ANYTHING!!! PLEASE, I DON'T CARE IF YOU BEAT ME UP OR EVEN KILL ME!!! JUST MAKE NOISE, ANY NOISE!!!

Please.

Please.

Please!!!

Anything to stop it the silence from reminding me of the Manor.

"Jaune."

I finally looked up to met the one I love in the eye. Tears ran down her face once again as focused her gaze on me once again. I knew something was up when she looked at me in that way. Suddenly everything felt cold. I couldn't breath as if an invisible, dark hand was choking me. I dread I felt when first woke was nothing compare to the complete and utter terror I felt.

"Jaune..."

No.

"..I.."

No.

"...am..."

No, please.

"...so..."

Stop.

"...sorry..."

Stop.

"...but..."

Stop it.

"...I..."

Don't do this.

"...think..."

Please, Blake.

"...we..."

I love you.

"...need..."

I need you.

"...a..."

No, no,no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO!

"...break."

No.

"I'm sorry," Blake cried out before running out of the infirmary, leaving behind for once again. I didn't get to see her expression. It was the best after all since I didn't want her see my tears. The tears than ran down my face sadness, despair, BETRAYAL.

I look to the starry night sky one last time. It was enchanting as the soul of the most beautiful dark-haired goddess in the universe.

As for my soul?

It's as ugly and broken as the moon above.

...............

That's the last time I spoke to her.

I would see her during class. We won't speak directly or even look at each other. But I sometimes I feel her gaze on me. Once class over, I often rush out to get my next class just to avoid all of them.

To avoid her.

Because just like leaves that fall from trees in Autumn, all the relationships I built up from time here at Beacon...

The Professors....

The Upperclassmen

...and my very own friends

....gone.

Like ash on the wind.

'What do think what was going happen, hmm?' a voice mused within the darkest corners of my mind. 'That they going accept you, no matter who you are, fake?'

Yes.

No.

I don't know!!!

With a yell of desperation and frustration, I jumped up to my feet with Crocea Mors in my hand started to swing vigorously around. But unlike the way I trained all those lonely nights ago, it same style and technique that I spent days upon days learning with Pyrrha and Blake. I kept swinging my sword, again and again, as I vented all my feelings of anger.

Of sadness.

Of betrayal.

Then pain struck my heart and spread across my entire body. Crocea Mors clattered to the floor as I curled up into a fetal position. I grit my face in pain as I tried to bare...whatever is going on with my body.

This been happening to me with last couple of weeks. At first, I chalked it up to not eating or sleeping properly but that can't be right as I remember I continuously would go without eating several weeks during childhood. While it wasn't the most pleasant of times, I was able act normally until I thoroughly exhausted my body. But this was different.

Main reason: My aura.

Normally the color of aura is white but recently, it starts to turn black whenever I train emotionally. When happens, I feel sick but it goes away after I manage to calm down. But that's what not strange about it. My aura started to...in a lack of a better turn...

Glitch.

One moment I have monstrous amounts of aura. The next, it vanishes into thin air. The secondary skin that is made of soul, the very thing I thank when it saves me against Grim, and the very thing I curse when it fails to protect me in combat classes, vanishes like ice during a sunny day. Times like those, I feel like I revert to who I was before the Initiation.

A nobody.

Tears slipped down face again as the pain grew more and more unbearable. I grimace my face as pain shook my body as I felt blood trickle out of my mouth and nose. I felt my body temperature rise to unbearable amounts of heat. I coughed violently as spit and blood splattered to floor beside me. Then as soon it came, the pain stopped.

I lay there on the floor of the rooftop, still in shock from the pain I experienced as gather my bearing. While there is no pain, it was still hard for me to get back onto my feat. I gasped loudly for air I managed to stay feet, using all my remaining will power to remain awake.

Huh, Willpower.

Something I had before.

Before the Betrayal.

Before Beacon.

Before...Grandfather Julius and Grandmother Celeste died.

I thought back to the days where I felt the happiest. My parents were often gone due to their Huntsmen duties. My older sisters Audrey and Nicolette where off training with our relatives to become Huntresses. It was just my Grandparents that looked after my twin sister Jeanne and I. I grew up around the heroic tales that my Grandparents partook in against the Grimm and how they almost single handedly managed the fallout of the Faunus Rights Revolution help bring in a hopeful age of peace and prosperity.

They also often spoke legendary tales of Charlemagne Arc, the founder of the Arc Clan and their ancestral home, Arcadia. How he was betrayed and banished from his old family only to form a new one with his wife, Marion, and his band of loyal followers. How they got land from the King Solomon of Vale and become they became guardians of his path. How he created the Family honor code and the fact that every Arc follows it. How every Arc becomes heroes.

That was his reason of becoming a Huntsmen.

To become the ideal of the hero.

The one who saves the day.

The one who protects others.

The one who who protect others so the people can wake up the next day for a brighter future. No matter the cost.

Do I want fame? No, for I am content to be forgotten in history.

Do I want riches? No, because I want live a normal life as a Huntsman can live.

Then what do I want?

.

.

.

To become a hero that someone can rely upon.

'A hero? A faker and a coward like you dreams of becoming a hero to others !?! Hahaha! That is the greatest joke in the history of Remnant!!!'

The dark voice returned to berate me once more as the dam inside started to break down. New fresh tears rolled down my eyes as I started to sob uncontrollably. After all the pain, heartache, hurt, loneliness, and betrayal I went through, I thought I could manage. Just like home I thought. My parents didn't seem really care about me since their immense doting on my sisters prove that point that much. Aside from my youngest sister Helene, who is too young to understand, the rest of them seem to hate and somehow resent me. The townsfolk didn't think much of me. Those who did thought of me as a disappointment to the Arc Family and to their legacy.

A black sheep if you will.

But...Beacon was different.

The staff seemed to somewhat care about me...up until recently. My upperclassmen like Team CFVY looked like they have interest in me...up until recently.

My team and RWBY...

Ruby, my(former) best friend who blew me away(literally) when I first met her.

Pyrrha, the best partner I could have asked for that I didn't do anything to deserve her.

Ren and Nora, the siblings that I have always wished to have.

Yang and Weiss, the two friends I wished I had during my childhood.

Blake...My gift from the heavens to have made me believe(thought) I that the I had right to fall in love with anyone, let alone an angel such as her self.

Now, they are all gone.

All thanks to my selfish way into to being a false hero.

I closed my eyes and yelled all my negative emotions out into the early morning air. My screams echo over the Campus that I cheated my way into. The breeze died down an everything became still. The only sound of the new dawn was my hideous screech.

My wails started to quiet down before I coughing. Tears continue to rack my face when the pain came back stronger than before. But unlike the first attack, I managed to stay standing, albeit leaving me no energy to brace myself the pain. It didn't also help the dark voice came back.

'Crying like a little child won't bring back your "happy" life, Jaune.'

Leave me alone.

'Can't do it Jaune. After all...we are one and the same.'

I don't care. Just leave.

'And then what you going to do Jaune? Getting ready for a new day of everyone hating on you?'

Shut up.

'Going class where both the teachers and students want nothing than to see you disappear'

Shut up.

'Walk down the same hallways where everyone treats like you have the plague?'

Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up.

'Or maybe just stop by the dining hall. All those stares. All those whispers. All those disappointed looks!'

SHUT UP!

'WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, VOMIT BOY!? BASH YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL? CARVE OUT YOUR OWN SKULL TO SHUT ME UP? Or even better yet, IGNORE ME LIKE EVERYONE YOU EVER KNOWN DO!?!'

THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!?!

'I-I-I...just want to go away.'

All my frustration and anger at the dark voice dissipated when heard his defeated tone. I had look of utter disbelief on my face.

What he just say?

'You heard my Jaune...I just...want to disappear."

Why?

'I am tired too. All those stares, whispers, and disappointed looks were starting to get to me.'

You too huh?

'As I said before Jaune, you and I are the same.'

So...what you propose?

The dark voice said nothing as the pain started to become more tolerable but the pain is still prevalent. I glanced up to see that the sun is peeking out over the horizon. It was new dawn. A new day.

'The ledge.'

I look towards the ledge of the rooftop. Unknownst to most people, the Beacon's rooftop doesn't have rails. I mean, seriously. This is a school that raises heroes to fight the forces of darkness. They could least spend a small of their budget in trying to add tall rails to the rooftop. After all, it's a perfect place for person to-

No.

It can't be.

When he said ledge...did he mean...

'Yes.'

What...you can't possibly mean...

'That's exactly what I mean.'

But-

'But what Jaune?'

I remained silent as the dark voice continued on. 'Look, no one is missing us already. The professors haven't checked on us. Pyrrha, Ren, Nora, and Team RWBY haven't search for us. Hell, it seems like even Blake wouldn't have spare us a thought after what happened that night.'

But do we really-

'Yes. Just look at our life. Our family doesn't give damn about us. Townsfolk will probably be just glad that we are gone. And we all know what Beacon think of us.'

Still, to take it that far-

'Jaune, the stares, whispers, and look didn't start from Beacon. It started in Arcadia when everyone found out that training you would be useless. Those actions would continue to haunt us for the rest of our lives. How long until the Valean Council or a person like General Ironwood finds out about the transcripts? What happens when they do, huh? We are either arrested for treason or exiled out of the Kingdom forever. What then? Either way, our life have been a story full of misery, loneliness, and betrayal. How much we can endure before we break? How much longer until you break?'

I stayed silent until the dark voice finish. 'I am tired of living life like that. Aren't you?'

I am.

'Then ask you again, what are you going to do?'

I don't answer as I walk up to the edge of the rooftop. Looking down, I see it's being enough drop to shatter my glitching aura.

That is...if aura works when I go splat anyway.

As I look towards the floor, I kept finding it to be more tantalizing than before. Suddenly, along with pain I am experience, a longing for the ground below erupted inside of me. That's when I knew what I had to do.

You sure no one will miss us?

'Yes.'

That both me and them are better off without us in the long run?

'Yes.'

Is this what you want? What I want?

'What do you think?'

I didn't answer I went back to grab my sword and shield. While in shield mode, I slipped Crocea Mors into Vita and stabbed really hard into floor while using the last bits of the fleeting aura that I had to make sure it stays up. I also made sure that the Arc symbol facing doorway to let them know what happen. After all, it sends a better message than a note could ever do at this point. Then I simply walked toward edge and looked up to the sky.

One.

Last.

Time.

The stars started to disappear as the glow of the upcoming sun started to eclipse them. The broken moon also started dim for the shine of the new dawn. Huh. I didn't realize it before. It's symbolism.

I am the broken and ugly moon. While the glow of the moon illuminates the sky and land, it still bows to the might of the Sun. It light overshadows everything else until the night returns. My lies and false bravado tried get to reach the ideal of being a hero. But moonshine still goes away for the bright and righteous sunshine, which is the truth.

So, just like moon, I too shall disappear.

But unlike it, I'll never return again.

I just hope whoever replaces shines bright and be perfect for everyone.

Just like the sun.

Pain rips through once more. Blood starts to leak down my nose and mouth. My body temperature starts to rise to even greater heights like I never felt before. The world around me starts to spin as my head starts to be funny. I feel my left burn and felt something thicker than tears ran down my face. I would to infirmary at this point, but now...there is no turning back.

'Jaune, are you sure. There is no turning back from this.'

Yes. No turning back. That isn't option for me. Not anymore.

'You ready?'

Yeah.

'Just for record before you died, Jaune, you know been talking to yourself like a lunatic?'

Yes.

'I think you became legally insane one these lonely nights!'

Yup.

'Jaune, you are one insane person.'

Are you stalling? Are you fucking afraid now?

'Hahahahaha. Me? The voice inside yourself? Afraid of meeting Death? No way. Maybe you are the one who is stalling.'

Very funny me. Are you done?

'I can ask you the same thing.'

What.

'Any last words?'

To you?

'Not to me, you dolt! To the WORLD!'

I though for second. Since I figured if these are my final moments, what the hell. After taking a huge breath, I scream out into the world, letting out all of my emotions in one go.

"Hey Remnant! Fate! Destiny! Guess what!? You are right! YOU! ARE! RIGHT!!!!!!! I can never become huntsman! I can never become an Arc! I can't even become a HERO!!! But do you know what!?! I knew it! I knew from the bottom of heart I couldn't become those things! So why did I tried!? Because I am Jaune FUCKING Arc!!! Dolt! Vomit Boy! Failure Extraordinaire!!! The idiot who honestly thought he had a shot at Beacon after swinging around a stick for 12 years like a DUMBASS and called it training! The guy that fooled his first friends and only love into thinking he worthy of them! The very same fucking person who epically failed to become a hero on his first step! It's ok though! Ruby, I know you are the true ideal of hero so there is no reason for me stick around. Pyrrha, you will never have to worry about being held back once I am gone! Ren and Nora, I hope that whoever replaces me will be a better leader and brother than I ever was! Yang, never again you will have to think I will hurt Rudy once I am 6 feet under! Weiss, I will be your forgotten ghost once I am gone! And Blake. My angel. My gift from the universe. Never again your divineness will muddy with filth such as myself!!! I wish I could have you but this world is too cruel and I know I am not worthy of you. I just hope you find happiness in your life and forget all about me! As for the Arcs, I know you hate me, the black sheep, for me to even have audacity to born into your family. You know what?! You are right! I could never, EVER, become one of yo!!! So now as of this moment, I say goodbye to this world of pain and misery. Never again you ever have to hear from or know about me, JAUNE JULIUS ARC."

'You say it Jaune!'

"So sayonara, this World of Remnant! Goodbye, you lovely people!! AND HELLO DEATH!!!"

With that I spread out my arms and let my body tipped over the age. Closing my eyes, I feel that gravity catching my momentum as I started to fall face first towards the liberating ground before me. In my last moments, I thought to myself, 'Thank you, my dark voice, for freeing me!'

'So this is it.'

Yeah

'Goodbye Jaune'

Goodbye, my dark voice. At last, I have become free-

"I am afraid I that I can't let you do that, Mr. Arc."

A calm, alluring voice that I heard many times before shocked me into opening my eyes, forcing me to be awake to find myself it wretched position. As I opened my eyes, I found myself hovering air while slowly being brought back to the rooftop. I looked around frantically to see why this happening until I noticed my body being covered in a purple glow. A scream of rage and despair escaped my mouth when I figured out what was happening.

It was Professor Goodwitch's Semblance.

I was suddenly spun around once my feet touched the tiles of the rooftop's floor and looked up to see around to see Professor Ozpin and Professor Goodwitch standing by the doorway. Goodwitch was holding out her crop, sweat dripping down here face from the effort keeping me from falling down to my freedom. While there is tiredness in her posture, Professor Goodwitch's face look utterly shocked. Whether it being my bleeding face, the fact that I tried to take a swan dive of the roof, or both, it still didn't still didn't dissipate my anger towards her for pulling back to this blasted hell of a reality.

Ozpin on other hand, looks more composed. While I could tell most of his body is calm and composed, his face shows remorse, sadness, and the one emotion I hate above all.

Pity.

Ozpin then step forward and poke in his annoying tone of his, "Mr. Arc, we need a talk."

'Looks like we lose once again, Jaune.'

With those statements, I scream out all of negative emotions. The world around seemed brighter before turning pitch back. As I sunk into abyss known to me as the subconscious, I could only think of one thing.

If there is a higher being up there...

...please...

....end the torment of this tortured soul.