Chicken Coup

Opening up the brown bag that the bronze guard dropped, I find: Two health potions, one magic potion, A brown robe-looking thing, and an iron key.

I move the potions into their slots, bringing me up to four health potions and four magic potions, before looking at the new robe. I move the robe into my armor slot while reading what the screen has to say about it.

[Robe of the Neophyte T1

Robe: Is Applicable

A long woolen robe favored by students of magic.

On Equip: +2 Defense

Feed Power: 7]

A new pair of clothes magically wrap around my body after placing the robe into my armor slot. I look down to see that I'm now dressed in a long brown robe made out of wool. Lifting up my robe, I observe that I'm wearing purple cotton pants that hug tightly around my legs. My feet are also now covered by some dark brown shoes that have little swirls at the tips... Oh god, it's those stupid Christmas Elf shoes. Bahhh!

I promptly seat myself on the floor and take off my shoes, wanting to go barefoot instead. After taking off the offending pair, I notice something strange happen in my inventory. The robe I'm wearing flashes for a second. Looking at it, I read...

[Modified Robe of the Neophyte T1

Robe: Is Applicable

A long woolen robe favored by students of magic. Has been modified by 0, opting for no woolen shoes.

On Equip: +2 Defense

Feed Power: 5]

0? I'm a little confused about that, but everything else makes sense. I come to a sudden realization, and I equip my Plain Clothes. Once again, I feel my plain clothes cover my body, but a sudden wetness on my left side catches my attention.

I look down to find a blood-stained cut in my shirt that came from when I was shot and started to bleed. There are also other holes, like where I was shot in the chest, and I have an unexplainable tear near my neck, one that I don't recall ever making.

Anyway, I attempt to loosen the straps around my sandals, and I take them off my feet after a bit of trial and error. Never have I worn such complicated devices on my feet, so I had to play with them. I then put the sandals to my side and begrudgingly pull out the magic elf shoes from my inventory and don them on my feet. Then, I re-equip the robe, and I strap the sandals on my feet once again. I now read...

[Modified Robe of the Neophyte T1

Robe: Is Applicable

A long woolen robe favored by students of magic. Has been modified by 0, opting for a pair of sandals instead of woolen shoes.

On Equip: +2 Defense

Feed Power: 6]

It appears like the only thing that changed was the name and the "Feed Power." I don't know what "Feed Power" does, but it might be valuable.

Now that I have new gear on, I look at the last item within the bag. It's called "Kitchen Cell Key." I think I know what this key is for, so I place it into my inventory. Not that I wouldn't have if I didn't know what it was for, but... you know...

Looking around the empty room I'm in, I find many, many cells filled to the absolute brim with chickens. I have a plan, but it's a dangerous plan.

Walking up to one of the cell cages, I ready my staff just in case something 'unfortunate' happens once I execute the plan. I take out the cell key, and I insert it into the cell door. A mechanical *Click* sounds out in my ear as I turn the key to unlock the cell. The cell door can now be opened.

I pull it open, and I hear the sound of a prison cell swinging to a stop. All of the chickens in the cell dramatically turn to look at me, and we all freeze. Clenching my staff tightly to my chest, I prepare for the worst. This scenario lasts for some time, but one little individual breaks the tension.

One brave chicken walks towards me, strutting its chest and strolling around like it owns the cell. It walks right past me into the room and turns around to stare at its fellow chickens.

I'm confused as I stare at it. Am I supposed to attack it?

Suddenly, the brave chicken gives a fierce battle cry, "CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK!" and all the other chickens come running out of the cell, wings flapping everywhere. The chickens run around the room a bit before they start banging against the other cells full of chickens, seemingly trying to get them open as well.

What the hell?

I'm not sure what to do in this situation, but I decide to help the chickens out. I walk to each cell and open them up with a loud bang when the door hits the edge. Each container holds tens if not hundreds of chickens. By the time I finish opening every cell in the room, I swear, there have to be at least a thousand chickens all running around the room. Now that they are all free, they seem to split into two separate groups. One-half going back the way I came, and the other moving forward along the set path into the conjoining hallway.

Now, standing alone in the room, I'm speechless. A thousand chickens were freed from captivity, just like that. I wonder if the chickens that went back towards the way I came can help their friends without me, but I don't worry about them too much. After all, I still have a kitchen to complete.

---

As I walk down yet another long hallway, I hear the sounds of chickens and grunting coming from down the path. When I reach the room that I hear noise from, I see two men fighting off a small army of chickens. I see more cells in the room, each filled with more cluckers. Surprisingly, I can see a pool of blood draining towards my direction and the bodies of dead chickens...

The sound of hundreds of chickens causing chaos throughout the Kitchen can be heard as I watch the scene.

"What's going on here!" I exclaim out; loud enough to make my voice heard over the sounds of chickens. Successfully, I draw the attention of the guards.

"Help! We're being overrun!" The guard to the right yells out as he is distracted, warding off chickens.

I notice that both of the guards have lower than half their health remaining, so I send a few fire bolts in their direction, killing them both while they're busy being brutalized by the horde of chickens without a second thought.

+2XP

[Lvl 2: 8/150]

When both of them turn into motes of light, I enter the room only to hear a synchronized battle cry of, "CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK!" Each chicken voiced their cheer as they started to bang on the cells. I once again go around releasing each and every chicken from captivity. When the room is cleared, all that is left is the corpses of several chickens. I'm unsure why they did not turn into motes of light like everything else, but I don't dwell on it for too long.

"Rest in peace, little ones. You deserve it." I offer a short prayer and exit the room.

---

Everywhere I go, the exact same display occurs. I enter a room to find either; guards locked in combat with chickens and a score of chickens locked in cells, or I find rooms without guards but dead chickens and the cells being banged upon. I assume that the guards were trampled by the chickens and were finished off before I even reached the room. Either way, I free the chickens, and they continue to do whatever it is they do.

It's insane: The sheer amount of chickens that people can fit in one location. It's no wonder these guys want their freedom so bad that they would kill and die for it. Being trapped in a cell, with no room to spread their wings. Sounds like hell to me.

While walking down the numerous halls, there are multiple rooms I can explore, but I don't even bother entering each of them. If there are no chickens there, I don't care to search them. I am a man with a mission.

I will free every single chicken I find!

---

Entering a room where I hear the sound of lots of chickens, I find ten separate guards defending a large metal cage right in the center of the room. Inside the metal cage, I can see another big brown chicken...

I gulp in fear as I remember my last experience with a cock of that size and color.

My past activities don't mean anything! My body has since healed, and I'm basically as good as new! And anyway, what's the worst that can happen? This one should be friendly like all the other chickens, only as long as I free it of the cage keeping it bogged down. I just need to avoid exciting it too much, and I should be fine... Right?

"I'm a new man! I don't fear big cocks!" I yell out as I charge towards the guards to help the chickens.

Once I arrive at the guards, I do a triple front flip in front of the first sword-guard I see before I light him up with my staff, and he falls to the ground, dead... Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating on the triple flip part, but I still blasted him into oblivion with my heat stick. I can't always be picture-perfect!

+1XP

[Lvl 2: 9/150]

The next closest guard, who wields a bow, falls backward and proceeds to have her eyes pecked at by the three chickens who jumped her while she screamed in pain. Pure music to my ears! Nothing quite like the sound of a chicken abuser being punished for her sins. HAHAHAHA!

But I'm merciful, so I quickly end her life with some fire bolts before she has to go through such a thing. Even I would not want that fate if I was such a horrible person like her. It's not like I care about the experience points I get for defeating them or anything... A ridiculous notion!

+1XP

[Lvl 2: 10/150]

It doesn't take long to clear the rest of the room of the evil guard scum. Now that the coast is clear, I can walk up to the cage holding the big brown chicken. The smaller chickens are going crazy as they attempt to obliterate the cage holding their god. I move to unlock it with the cell key.

I hope I don't regret my choice.

The Chicken God takes its sweet time before stepping out of the cage with a strut in its step. It takes a good long stretch before looking my way, a speck of intelligence sparkling in its eyes as it stares into mine. In a human-like fashion, it does a curtsey in my direction before turning towards its fellow chickens.

It looks around to each of its fellow compatriots, much like a dignified leader, before making a gurgling noise and clucking, "CLUCK, CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK. CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK, CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK, CLUCK."

The Chicken God takes a second to breathe, or something, before continuing, "CLUCK CLUCK, CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK. CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK, CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK, CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK."

It then lifts its wings and cries, "CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK!"

I then witness as the thousand or so chickens each cry out their own, "CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK!" as well.

An inspiring speech indeed, one benefiting of a ruler such as itself.

Then, all of the chickens look towards me in a creepy synchronization of movement. I find myself suddenly put on the spot in such a way. I'm not sure what to do...

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, open my eyes, and look around towards the audience of chickens. I take another deep breath and then shout, "Viva la Revolution!" I lift my staff into the air as I cry out, expecting a similar response back.

Blank stares are all I get in return, and I don't know what to do. I do some quick thinking for a moment, and then I awkwardly yell out, "CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK!" in my best chicken impression.

The chickens roar back, "CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK!"

They then charge out of the room as fast as their little legs can carry them. Each forming ranks of five-by-five square formations as they leave, ready to fight for their god or goddess, I'm not sure which one anymore.

Now, it's just the Good God Chicken, and I left in the room. It's looking at me like it wants to tell me something but can't. After a brief moment of gazing at each other, it turns around, showing me its back, and squats down. I'm not sure what it's doing. Maybe it's laying an egg? That would support my theory that it's a female because it curtsied.

It stays like that for a little while as I stand behind it in silence. I don't want to disturb it, in case it's doing what I think it's doing.

My thoughts are not left to filter for long as it turns back towards me and quickly, much quicker than I can react to, snatches the collar of my robe in its beak. It lifts me up into the air and throws me above its head onto its back.

I land on the chicken's back and grasp onto its large feathers. Ohh, It wanted me to ride it. That makes sense; why am I such an idiot?

---

Now riding the cock, heat-stick in hand, we parade down the long halls of the Kitchen as I witness the gruesome scenes of battle happening all around me. There are often groups of ten to twenty guards now that we are getting deeper into the Kitchen. I'm glad that I decided to free the chickens. I'm not sure I would have been able to get through all this alone. That's probably why the screen told me it was looking for nine others to join me.

As we stride further into the Kitchen, the scenery is getting more bloody and bloody as we go. Bloodstains and puddles are abundant everywhere I look, seemingly coming from no source. There are a couple dead chickens here and there, but they alone don't warrant the amount of blood I see. I also see a change in guard. Not only are the typical chain-mailed guards here, but there are also some people wearing bloody aprons wielding cleavers. That one butcher look you would see in movies and cartoons.

Every once in a while, I would witness a brave butcher or guard come towards the God Chicken I'm riding, but they usually don't get very far as the "royal guards" tend to stop them before they get close. The "royal guards," as I dubbed them, are a group of chickens that decided to attach themselves to the big chicken and are steadfast in protecting it.

I have had to blast a couple of the guards and butchers myself as well. When the "royal guards" are distracted, some idiotic souls decide that they don't want to live long and walk towards the Chicken God. It never ends well for them.

+3XP

[Lvl 2: 13/150]

---

We approach a large gateway that has a sign titled "Chicken Coop." Through the gate is a large, open, stone, stadium-looking room. It's not very tall, but it's circular, and multiple cells surround the walls. At the opposite side of the stadium is a large closed gate that I can see through to the other side. At the other side of the gate is another hallway. That must be the exit!

We enter the "Chicken Coop," and I can't help but notice that this room has the most blood I have ever seen in one place. It makes me wonder what has happened here, or if it's just a weird aesthetic choice. Looking around some more, I attempt to find anything standing out, but I see nothing glaringly obvious.

There is no obvious way through the gate, and the God Chicken keeps refusing to let me off its back to look. It would aggressively protest every time I tried to hop off, and if I succeeded, It just grabbed me and put me back on its back. I don't dare try to fight it, so I will respect its opinion in this matter.

The God Chicken has taken roost in the middle of the stadium while I continue to boredly watch wave after wave of chicken arrive through the gateway and enter the stadium. I take this time to rest and recover my mental strength.

After all this time, I'm still not all that physically tired despite the strain I have put on my body, but I do feel tired, just emotionally and mentally.

I hope that I can leave the Kitchen soon.

---

It's not long before I no longer see any new chickens entering the stadium. There must be thousands of these little guys. The stadium is still large enough to fit all of them, plus more if needed.

After a while, I hear a sudden crash, and I look towards where we came from to see that a gate has closed us off in the stadium. It's another trap, I sigh as I remark to myself. I'm not too worried, given the performance I have seen from the chickens so far.

And it's not too long before I hear a deep voice resound saying, "Ah, fresh meat for the minions! Plump and fresh! Just like I like them! Oryx always feeds his minions well! Have at 'em, boys!"

The cells in the stadium open with a clicking sound, and one guard or butcher enters the stadium through each cell. They each look around to get a grasp of their surroundings before lifting their eyebrows in surprise. They proceed to get swarmed by hundreds of chickens each.

I watch as this all happens. This is what I expected when the gate closed, and given the presumption that there would be ten of us instead of just me, there are probably just enough enemies to put pressure on ten individuals, but I'm not sure if the enemies were meant to totally destroy ten of us. After all, this is apparently the tutorial. I'm also not sure if I was supposed to unleash the chickens like this or if they were just there because... I don't know, experience points? I don't regret my decision, not at all. These chickens don't deserve death; they deserve their freedom after how nice they all have been to me.

After the first wave of enemies is cleared, a second wave emerges. This one, bringing two instead of one enemy from each cell. Their fate is the same, though. They get set upon by hundreds of chickens and try to fight for their life. All while I just sit here, in the middle, on top of the God Chicken. I don't even bother firing my staff at any of them; it's not worth my time.

The third wave brings three baddies, and the fourth wave brings four. Now we are onto the fifth wave, with a predictable amount of enemies per cell; that's right, eight enemies per cell, cause that just makes sense. This time, I decide to help out a little bit by shooting my fire bolts towards the butchers to my left, not being attended to properly.

Shooting the last of them to pieces, I get the XP notification.

+7XP

[Lvl 2: 20/150]

When the chickens finished off the last of their cells, they decided to finish off my final butcher before I got the chance. With all the guards and butchers dead, the chickens all calm down and start to rest once again. I do the same on my giant chicken.

We get a good lick of rest before the same resounding voice echoes out into the stadium. "Another glorious day in Oryx's Kitchens!" the gate in front opens up to reveal a plump giant of a man wearing a bloody apron over what I think to be a light-brown leather tunic. He is also wielding an oversized meat cleaver and on his head is one of those disposable plastic hairnets. His dark brown pants sag beneath his potbelly, barely being kept in place by his black belt.

He walks into the stadium with his eyes closed and a grin plastering his chubby cheeks. His arms are wide open as if addressing a crowd, which isn't wrong in this scenario, but it's just a group of chickens plus me. He takes a deep breath and then scrunches up his nose as if smelling something foul. It probably smells like a chicken coop; I have just gotten used to the scent, so I'm not as affected.

He opens his eyes, and his breathing freezes as he takes in his surroundings. "Oh my, This isn't quite what I was expecting." He addresses us.

"Ten fresh lambs, I said! Not one plus poultry!" He yells out angrily.

He looks directly at me and grins before saying. "Looks like this little one won't make this easy for me. What do you say, we go to a more specialized arena, just the two of us? Oh, I assure you, you'll love it. HAHAHAHA!"

He doesn't give me time to respond as he takes vast steps backward towards the gate behind and looks back before saying, "See you soon, Meat." and pulls a lever he grabbed with his sausage fingers.

The floor underneath me and the chicken opens up beneath our feet, and we fall down below. The God Chicken attempts to slow its flight with its massive wings, but the extra weight on its back prevents it from doing just that. The opening above us then closes back up, trapping us underneath its expanse as we continue to fall.