chapter 9

"it's not something to be so excited about Danielle"

"no it's not but still I always admired foreign mothers"

" Danielle" he said calling my attention to the case at hand.

" Flávio" I said reassuring him that I was fully present, mind, body and soul.

" when your dad died, you really had no one to talk to or tell tiny secrets"

" no, I didn't have anybody, I never got the luxury of friends"

" it made you really sad didn't it? "

" you said it, I had anxiety and depression"

" how did you get the drugs, forgive me if I'm asking the wrong questions it's just that I'm feeling tense"

" why would you feel tense, it's all me, it doesn't affect you in any way"

" no it does, it really does, like how the fuck could your mum let you pass through this shit"

" yeah I ask myself everyday, every single day"

I wouldn't tell him about the demon, that was some fucked up shit on its own.

" I had insomnia, so I told my mum and my step dad, they took me to a hospital, when we got to the hospital the doctors gave me sedatives, so I took my sedatives, when ever sleep left me, that was at first but later I started to take it whenever I pleased."

"Here it caused you to rely on drugs, didn't it"

" yeah it did"

" have you ever done some shitty things because of the influence of the drugs"

" not just done but seen" I said laughing shortly before I said " Here is something I haven't told anyone before" I said and I watched him shift closer to me.

Flavio's pov

I could see sadness in her eyes and I could hear it from her voice that she struggled to tell me the things she told me, things she hadn't told anyone. even when she laughed,she looked sad, but deranged, nah.

I felt like holding her in my arms and whispering very softly that everything would be alright, everything.

"here is something I haven't told anyone before" were the words that caught my attention. I could hear her clearly but I wanted to really hear her, so I shifted closer to her, she smiled, sweetly, she was the most sweetest person I have ever seen, at first I had thought her to be angry and proud or somewhat arrogant, but she wasn't. I knew that automatically we had become friends, right from the time, she walked into the car with me, so we could watch the sunset, I mean it was about two hours before the sun would start setting, she knew but she didn't bring the topic up.

I looked at her and she didn't look like she'd ever beg anyone for friendship, and I was fucking proud that she chose to talk to me. sitting here right now, I feel like I'm with angel's wings.

" okay, when I started taking drugs, the early days, My step dad got Velvet a car, I was sitting at the dinning table, and we were eating when he announced that he had bought the car for her. I sat there, watching them celebrate, and watching Velvet flash the keys at my face" she stopped to smile and she continued " my mum had thrown away all the wine from my dad's wine cellar, every single bottle, and then on that day, she had bought a wine, and she had reserved the wine for the celebration, earlier that day I saw a bottle of wine sitting on ice, kept away from eyes, but my eye had caught it, it wasn't really my fault that I saw it, and watching it there I remembered the wines she had thrown about three years ago or more and I felt the sudden déja vu, so I drank it, the whole bottle, like I said none of it was my fault I was high. She stood from the dinning table and my mind told me that she was going to get the wine and when she went there she saw an empty bottle. They asked me who drank it, they asked me first, forgetting that there was a possibility that Velvet could have drank it or even My step dad.

Still high, not from my drug but from the alcoholic influence from the wine, I stood up took the bottle to the tap and filled it with water, and then I took it to the dinning table and I dropped it, wine is served I said to them and I walked away, away from the dinning room, away from the house and I went to a bar. " I thought she had concluded her story , but then she sat right not facing me but the field, we were Inside the car, the air conditioning was on, but the radio wasn't, if none of us spoke the car would be very silent. it was silent for a few seconds before she broke it and said.

" Immediately I walked into the bar, I could hear Jhene Aiko's brave playing, the stanch smell of too many mixtures of alcohol filled the air, the bar was lighted, green, blue and in some places red.

I walked up to the counter and I told the bar man to pour me a drink, and he asked me what type I told him SB, and he did.

I saw a door written on it was VIP and guarding the door were two tall scary looking men... I walked up to them and asked them the price for the VIP area and I paid it.

I went inside and I sat down, on one of the leather chairs, those were one of the best leather chairs I ever sat on, they were strong and at the same time soft. I felt at peace in this tiny but expensive space, so I relaxed and enjoyed my drink. While I sipped my drink from the glass, I looked to the corner and a particular person caught my eye, it was a girl, about my age, she had her hair dyed red, a shinny red and it suited her perfectly, as if there were no other colour that would the same way the red did. It seemed like she had come to the bar with some friends.

The lights in the area were a dim white so I could see everybody.

This particular girl I watched her lips move, and that was when I found out that I never really could pick up words unless they were said directly to me, and I watched her, more like admired, she was beautiful and sexy, she was someone I felt that even if I tried I would never be able to compete with her.

As I watched her she turned to me and met my staring eyes, I never really felt embarrassed when people caught me staring, so I wasn't embarrassed when she turned to me and caught me staring at her, she stared directly at me, for a few seconds her gaze lingered and then she whispered something to one of her friends, then they turned to me. I felt really uncomfortable, that I dropped my glass and I was about to leave when I heard someone shouting, I turned and she was calling out to me, She came over to me, the really beautiful girl, she said her name was Golden, when she told me this I forgot the fact that she was a total stranger and that somehow she was in front of me because for a second I thought she was seated, and I laughed a little because her name contradicted her hair, I Liked the name, very much, I could name my child Golden but that's not the case.

She offered to buy me a drink so we'd go over something, TAlK was the word she used. I wouldn't lie to you I could tell that she was excited, and I was dumb because of the amount of substances I had taken in a day. I told her if be right back that I wanted to use the toilet because I really didn't like talking to people, when I was walking out the door, she said something, I heard her right, I could swear that she said my name. I turned to her, she didn't smile her face was blank, no emotions, and so I doubted she even said anything, I walked out the bar and I never returned, everytime I saw the colour, red and golden, I would remember her. creepy huh? " she asked me casually and she sat back and relaxed fully in her seat "this is one of the best leather chairs I've sat in" she mumbled.

" are you always full of surprising stories" I asked her

" yep, but there was no one to tell"

" so why tell me" I asked her

" it's funny but I feel a sense of familiarity around you, I wish I could explain more than that though" she said " tell me something" she added.

" there's nothing to tell, okay, hear my while life story...I have a cousin, his name is Alessio , he's been living with us since he was three because his mother died and his father couldn't take care of him, he's like the brother I never had, I'm the only child of my parents, I'm four years older than you, my parents are ordinary, my life is ordinary, that's it" I said ending my story, she looked at me as if she was expecting more from me, but that was all, really.

"no girlfriend" she asked me queering her head to the side.

" I mean I had One" I told her

"tell me about her"

"Her name was Stephanie, we dated for... I don't really know how long but I'm sure it was about a year but not more, well like everybody said she was my kitty, and I don't mean that in a sexy way, just that I felt the need to give her everything she asked for, even if it was stupid, my friends did warn me about her, they said she wasn't... real but I felt they spoke out of jealousy, because you should see Stephanie, she looked like Cardi B and Drake came together and had a baby that was an even sexier version of themselves" I saw her smile and I continued " I found out that I wasn't the main guy, if you get what I mean, she had other people like me that she so remarkably deceived and then she had a guy, that was her all. so that was that, after that I never really believed in love, now I just live my life the way I please.