Dispelling Mana

Faelar Rivedriel

I found Ardiel lying on his bed in our room, eyes closed and hands on his stomach. A slightly stronger than usual signature of mana was emanating from him, so I guessed that he was meditating, and circulating mana within his body. He just never seems to stop I guess.

Already he could cast magic from all four basic elements, plant magic, and wields the sword better than some adults. This is what you get when you combine talent and hard work. 

He has both. He works harder than any of us to continue improving his skills. With each passing day we fall further and further behind as he continues to sprint forward. It feels like a race impossible to win, and you see your opponent constantly increasing the distance between him and you.

I guess I kind of see Ardiel not only as a friend, but as a rival and a mentor. His behavior reminds me more of an adult than someone who is my age. Sometimes he has these incredibly mature moments when he encourages and helps others, just like he did for me.

He was the one to suggest I train my magic, and when I had no confidence to do so, he cheered me up and encouraged me. And when I began to see progress in my abilities, he continued to root for me. It wasn't a one time thing, where he would suggest I do something and then leave me to it. Along the way he continued to teach me magic, the theory behind mana circulation and casting wordless spells. And to think that he figured it out all by himself just by reading an outdated book.

Sometimes I envy him; his talents, the progress he made, his determination to strive for more. Sometimes I become frustrated. It is easy to become like that when your own progress is overshadowed by a prodigious other. But I try and not let that get to my head. Ardiel is my friend after all, and he never goes around flaunting himself to everybody. He does it for himself, not to gain attention.

I made my way over to my bed on the opposite side of the room. It was a little humid after the rain, and the room smelled like wet wood and a tinge of mold coming from the old carpet that lay on the floor. I sat down, and the old springs creaked as I did.

I looked out the window, and followed a single drop of water with my eyes as it slowly but surely made its way to the very bottom, before disappearing in the thin strip of water that accumulated there.

My gaze went back to Ardiel who now had his eyes open and was looking at me. The surprise made me flinch a little before I sheepishly rubbed the back of my head and apologized with an awkward smile.

"No, no need. I was just doing my own thing." He responded and closed his eyes again, sinking into a meditative state.

Even when we aren't busy he still works on himself. Is that really the scale of his determination? It feels strange. Could a person have this much discipline? It's as if he has someone like a trainer who continues to nag at him.

Seeing this, my chest tightened. I was here, sitting like an idiot doing nothing, staring at Ardiel who even now was improving on himself. Maybe this was why he was always so ahead of us, and why it is near impossible to catch up. I am zoning out, meanwhile he is training. Always training, without stopping.

Clenching my fists, I sat straight up on my bed, and brought my knuckles together as I too began to circulate mana. Just like Ardiel taught me. Breathe in and out, slowly and calmly. Have everything under control. Clear your mind of useless thoughts, and focus on your breathing and the mana around you.

In a matter of moments I felt it. Warmth began surrounding me like a blanket, and I could almost feel the mana rushing in and beginning to circulate like blood throughout my body, faster and more easier by the second. 

It turned into a continuous flow. Before, it would flow in a jerking motion, interrupted by my breathing and loss of focus. Now, it was like a stream, undisturbed and ongoing. I felt it throughout my entire body. From the top of my head, to the tips of my toes. Mana was everywhere, all around me and within. It offered a sense of tranquility and security, like I have separated myself from the problems and concerns of this world, and elevated to a whole new plain.

Once that was done, I began practicing manipulating the mana within my body. I directed the flow to concentrate in my sternum, then into my hands, palms, and finger, then all the way down to my legs and toes. It was practice for casting spells, especially wordless one's.

The ability to concentrate mana into certain parts of your body was key to chantless casting. If you can freely manipulate mana without the need to stimulate your focus by saying a chant, your status as a mage increases to a completely different level. Experienced mages do just that. Ardiel does that, and so does Loueras, and both are incredibly powerful.

I began to challenge myself by concentrating the flow of mana in random pinpoint parts of my body. Near my belly button, at the tip of a single finger, a point on my back, at the tip of my nose. It was harder to do so when the surface was so tiny, and I could feel myself tensing up as I attempted this trick, which in turn began interrupting my calm and harmonious mana flow. 

It took more than one attempt, but in the end, I was successful. I wasn't sure what exactly I was trying to achieve with this, but being able to do it nevertheless made me feel accomplished. 

I opened my eyes and looked at my hands. 

"Time for the hard part." I mumbled to myself.

For a while now I was trying to absorb a spell back into my hand. I mastered the ability to form one, but never was able to dispel it.

Essentially, you had to do the process of forming a spell but backwards. Separate the mana in your already formed spell, and absorb it back in. The most difficult thing was separation. When mana already condensed into a spell, how exactly was I supposed to break it apart?

Every time I attempted, the spell just fell from my hand onto the ground. When I tried to dispel an earth spell, the rock just fumbled onto the ground. When I picked it up and tried to separate the mana particles that made it, all I was successful in doing was cracking it into smaller pieces.

Ardiel was able to do it. He explained to me that it was as if the spell was part of your mana flow. If you are able to concentrate your focus onto your spell, and the mana that makes it, then you can circulate that mana back into your body. Or if you wanted to just dispel it into atmospheric mana, you needed to focus on the particles of mana holding each other in place, and weaken their bonds to separate them.

I stared at my hand, and conjured a small rock. It was simple enough, a beginner level spell that I was able to cast without chanting. 

I began to focus on the mana that made up the rock, trying to feel for it as if it was a part of my mana flow. I felt a little string of attachment between my palm and the rock hovering above it, as if I continued my mana flow through space, connecting the spell to my own body.

To feel for the individual mana particles, I concentrated on this phantom connection I felt between me and the stone. If I can feel the connection, it would be the first step to recognizing the mana that made up the stone.

I began to feel warmth emanating from my palm, and also felt it radiating from the rock. Though the stone itself wasn't hot, I knew this warmth was just what mana felt like. After all, mana was energy that made up this world, that allowed for control over its natural forces, and energy would radiate heat. 

This was good. I felt the connection between myself and the spell, something which I wasn't able to do before.

I grabbed for that heat that radiated from the stone, and concentrated my focus on it. I felt for the mana that made up the stone, how it interacted with my own flow. I felt for the individual particles that made it up, hundreds of invisible mana particles that condensed themselves, and fused with each other into a particular shape.

I felt for them, imagining how they would mend together, how mana flows through them, and how it would connect with my own mana flow.

Like a mantra, I repeated in my head – unite yourself with the spell. I had to unite my mana flow with the spell I conjured. Feel it as if it was a part of me, a part of my own mana, not a separate object.

Nobody else but me had authority over it. I felt the connection between myself and the spell, and felt the spell itself. This was further than I ever advanced, and my heart began beating faster with anticipation. The loss of control over my emotions led to the connection fading, and I hurriedly began calming myself down with breathing exercises, soothing my mind, and focusing on the connection.

I felt for the mana in the stone, and how my mana flow interacted with it. Fusing the mana particles in the spell with my own flow, I began to feel how the two sides began to become one. The path of connection between my palm and the stone intensified, and I could feel my mana begin to circulate.

I focused on the individual particles in the stone, and felt the mana in it as my own. I grabbed control over it, no different than controlling my mana flow anywhere else in my body, and began to reduce the concentration of mana within the stone.

The bonds that held the mana particles together like atoms began to weaken and break, and the stone began rapidly decreasing in size as the mana spread out into the atmosphere. I paused there, and the rest of the stone I began to absorb back into my body. The mana began to break apart once again, and through the phantom pathway that connected by palm to my spell, the mana began to leak back into my body, the same way that I absorbed atmospheric mana during meditation and circulation.

The process took a few seconds before the stone completely vanished, and the faint signature of mana that emanated from it disappeared as well shortly after.

My heart began beating faster and faster as I stared at my empty hands. The realization that I had just achieved something I faced so much failure began to settle in, and I felt the growing excitement in me as my lips stretched into a grin.

"I DID IT!" I yelled out as I jumped up from my bed.

Ardiel jerked awake, startled and wide eyed at my sudden outburst.

"You almost gave me a heart attack!" He rebuked. "What did you do?"

"I did it!" I said, breathing heavily.

"Yes, that's great. My question was what exactly did you do?"

"I was finally…able to dispel my spell, and absorb it back!""

Ardiel looked slightly taken aback. "Really?"

"YES YES!" I yelled out in excitement again. I was overwhelmed with joy and ecstasy at my success.

Ardiel blinked a few times, dumbfounded, and then he also grinned.

"I knew you could do it." He said proudly.