Circus Bingo Is Okay (Part 3)

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Heero and Relena's Guest Room

Relena remained still on the bed as Heero told her what he had learned from Duo Maxwell. If RTL got their way, she wouldn't have to worry about becoming a mother or hiding under a different identity the rest of their life. They wanted to kill her, and risked even the child's existence, all for nothing but to make Heero Yuy feel pain. Feel empathetic for those who lost their children. It was cruel and unrealistic. RTL had clearly brainwashed people into believing that doing this would bring some kind of closure to their loss.

It wouldn't. Revenge was not the answer that made someone feel better. Going after Lady Une for her father, Relena understood that. Lives were lost in war, it was war. While it was a terrible excuse, a life was blinked out in the movement of a single arm of a mobile suit.

Children. Teens. Men. Women. The elderly. All of the pilots knew that life was lost somewhere in great numbers because of them or the war or circumstances. Especially in the middle of battles. Whether the enemy or the innocent, it couldn't be helped. It didn't mean they didn't feel that loss. The war had changed everyone involved, even her. No one escaped unscathed, devoid of consequences. But they were all moving on, finding new ways to move on.

It was like? "The world forgot how to grieve." She noticed Heero looked at her. "They think because the world doesn't suffer anymore in the same way, that their pain isn't validated anymore?" No. Wait. It was close though. She could feel it. She'd seen it before. People who stood for one thing, then going back on what they once believed. Charismatic words. History of following what was right. Leaders that were right. History. Leaders.

"I already found what you are trying to think of," Heero said. "Support for the Loss. It has to be their second group."

What? "STL?" STL had been around for many years.

"The guilty strive to make themselves feel better." Heero said. "STL has been having the best year ever."

"Yes. Even more than the usual celebrities have been giving wholeheartedly this year." A change inspired by what? "Contributions were up over 60% from last year." Oh no. "This is my fault." It was her fault. Hers. Everything. "I was trying to dismantle the group." She looked at her hands. One small movement. Every member wanting to save it. "On the surface, it looked wonderful. They had done great things as a group, but they kept running into-"

"-matters that couldn't be explained." Oh, so Heero did understand. "Their voice raised high until someone asked about someone's disappearance. Then they disappeared."

Yes. "They were doing more than just having drives to support those who were dealing with loss. They were seeking justice for that loss. Revenge of the Lost must be the other hand of the group." The vindictive hand that didn't play by the rules, the ones that Support for the Loss wasn't showing. Kept hidden from view. How many members of Support for the Loss were inside Revenge of the Lost? "Support for the Loss is a well-known group, Heero. Celebrity and company endorsements aren't uncommon. It's classic, established, appeared noble and . . ." She couldn't say it.

He could. "Pouring hundreds of millions into helping thousands makes up for the mere handful it would kill."

"How can . . ."

"A tiny piece, Relena," Heero said. "Like donating a few pennies to a worthy cause, they don't feel like they are responsible." He moved over and sat on the bed. "In vast numbers, those pennies make a difference."

"Support, all over the world. There's no telling who supported its previous ideals, and who supported the RTL of it." Who was supporting RTL but didn't really know it? Who did but felt only pennies responsible . . . Heero was right. To them, they weren't hurting anyone. A light tap. A few pennies responsible. "Only a few pennies responsible." All of this. Whatever they did to the doctors. The access to the advanced technology. Getting into the hospitals. Blanking out security or modifying them. Everything they did, nooks and crannies from so many.

She felt Heero touch her face. Oh. It was always a surprise when he did that. She wiped it as well as she could.

"Everyone has a leader, Relena," he reminded her. "It doesn't matter how big it is. When we find the leader, it'll all fall."

Relena nodded. "Heero. I don't want to bring up anything that might hurt, but if I'm a target meant to be killed as your mother had. Do you know how it's supposed to happen?" He didn't look like he wanted to answer.

"It won't help to know." That was that? "I'll be watching your back."

Heero. Now was not the time she wanted to hear cryptic talk. What should she be watching out for?

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The Circus

Trowa's sister was getting ready for the next act. He could see her getting her last bits of blush back on before it was time to get to the stage. "Catherine." She turned around and looked at him in concern. He'd already told her about telling Middie Une. About losing Middie Une. About their mother's death. He didn't hide anything.

She didn't seem any more surprised either. They had always gravitated toward each other. He would set out the performance tonight, he was getting a break due to his sister covering for him. He had nothing else to really say, except one thing. "Don't ever join a group, rebel or otherwise, that seeks justice against someone. No matter what it stands for. Promise me." She nodded, of course concerned. With nothing left to say, he walked back away. He'd keep his eyes open for Middie Une, keep looking as he could. Visit her work, any acquaintances, and do what he could. But he knew. He knew there was more than a fair chance by the time he found Middie Une.

It'd be too late to save her.

"Trowa." He felt his sister's arms around him suddenly. She never stopped worrying. "I promise. I'll never, ever join any group! Even the Circus Bingo, I'll quit!"

A slight smile. "The Circus Bingo is okay, Cathy." He could feel her trembling against his back. He couldn't reassure her that everything would be okay. He didn't know. All he knew? He had Middie Une in his grasp, and because he was uncertain which move to make, she slipped right out of it. Like a Circus trick. There and gone. "Go wrap up tonight. The crowd is waiting for your dazzling performance." Once she let go, he moved back on again.