25. Promises(1)

Not an excuse, but since most people ask me in private messages and social media, I think I should share why it took me so long to update: basically, economic crisis, a little bit of depression, and college (which is in a big part why the other two happened).

Thank you all for your constant support, and hell, let's just get into the chapter! I hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: The Loud House is owned by Nickelodeon and Viacom.

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Chapter 25:

Promises.

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"Easy there, be careful; hang on."

"It's okay, I can–"

"Just hold on to me, okay? I don't want you to slip."

Understanding that he had no choice in the matter and that he was at his sister's mercy, Lincoln decided not to argue, accepting the arm that she offered him and clutching to it with what little remaining strength he had. They had already moved past the most difficult part, climbing up the slippery slope next to the creek, but the usually banal path back to the car through the park was presenting itself as a challenge.

He didn't know exactly how long he had cried along with Lori. Realistically, it couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes. Twenty, perhaps. He didn't know if that was a lot, or not enough –sometimes he felt like he could cry for hours without stopping, and some other times the tears would simply not come out–, but it had certainly helped him push away the sense of bleakness that had pierced his heart like the sharp edge of a knife. For the first time since that talk with Clyde, Lincoln had finally been able to be honest with someone else. He talked about his fears and insecurities and let all those horrible, painful feelings that he had kept to himself pour out of his heart. His problems hadn't miraculously faded away once he was able to put them into words, but the simple act of sharing them with someone else was cathartic by nature.

Not everything was positive, though. Seeing Lori's desperate weeping because of him had germinated a terrible seed of guilt that would spread its roots on his chest, making him feel miserable. His family was searching for him under that pouring rain that didn't seem to have any interest to wane any time soon. He knew that he needed to go back home and face them, the sooner the better. They were all worried for him. Because of him. Everyone dreading that he may have perished already. All because he had had a new… episode, or whatever those things were. He didn't know what he was going to be facing when he got home, and that terrified him.

It was perhaps that fear what made him hold on tighter to Lori's arm, making his sister turn in his direction to look at him as she guided him beneath the rain. The wind was jostling them from side to side, trying to knock them down, deafening them with a chaotic fanfare that drowned out all other noises, and their vision was reduced to just a few feet, since the water falling around them blurred the path and all the trees in the vicinities.

"Are you okay?" His sister asked, using her free arm to fix his clothes, making sure that he was as protected as possible from cold. "We're almost there. It's gonna be alright."

"I-I'm sorry," he managed to whisper out. His throat hurt from so much crying. From so much screaming that no one was able to hear, with his weeping and wailing diluted until they disappeared within the raging storm.

"There's no reason for you to be."

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

Lori stayed in silence for a few seconds, after which she simply hugged him closer to her. "Everything's gonna be alright."

The wind and the heavy drops kept enclosing them, and Lincoln couldn't help but wonder if they may be in some sort of hurricane. He remembered that time when a tornado had struck Royal Woods, and even though they had been in their basement, they could still feel the house shaking, and the horrible noise of the winds crashing against the windows. Perhaps being outside in the middle of the storm was interfering with his perception, but it really felt like he had been thrown in the middle of the greatest chaos that he had experienced in his short life.

Luckily, it didn't take long for them to pass through the park and reach the sidewalk. Lincoln's eyes rested briefly on the billboard next to the bus stop.

ACE SAVVY | COMING SOON

He closed his eyes and gulped, not without certain difficulty. He decided to take a few deep breaths. Once. Twice. Thrice. He managed to calm himself down just in time, for Lori had already dragged his tired body to the back door of a car, which was opened as soon as they got close. His sister hurriedly pushed him inside, following right behind him and closing the door.

The sound of the door's impact seemed to mute the outside world. The gale stopped its assault on them, and the sound of the water falling on the roof and the windshield paled in comparison to what was going on outside. It was like walking right into a shelter. The warm air of the car heater wrapped itself around him, slithering into his lungs to make him feel safe and protected.

He barely had time to get comfortable before Carol handed him a towel from the driver's seat and Lori began drying his hair.

"Lori…" he complained, due to the roughness of her movements on his head.

"We need to dry you, you're soaked."

"I have another towel, here," Carol offered, and even though Lincoln couldn't see it because he had one wrapped around his head, he felt Lori using her free hand to keep drying the rest of his body with the extra towel. "Hey, Lori, you should dry yourself, too, you don't wanna catch a cold."

"I'm fine, don't worry," she hurriedly said, trying to ease her friend.

He noted how agitated she sounded, and how much her voice trembled. A minute later, once she evaluated his hair and decided it was dry enough, she removed the towel from his head. Now that the rain wasn't hitting them from all angles, Lincoln could appreciate with more detail how tired and fidgety his sister's face looked. Her mascara was running down her cheeks like two tinted rivers, smudged almost completely by the rain and her tears.

Not able to contain himself anymore, he leaned forward to rest his head on his sister's belly, wrapping his wet arms around her. Lori dropped the towels and blankets and held him close, her golden locks letting heavy drops fall on Lincoln.

"Carol… please take us home," she said, sounding like the knot on her stomach had expanded to her throat.

There was no verbal answer, but she turned on the engine and the three of them began making their way through the flooded streets of the city towards Franklin Avenue 1216. The two siblings didn't let go of each other at any moment. Lincoln had only been gone for a few hours, but they had both felt it as a little eternity, and they weren't willing to be apart if they could avoid it.

Stress kept pouring out of every fiber and pore of his being, and at moments he didn't know if he was shaking because he was cold or because he was scared. Because of fear, and desperation. And yet, the comforting embrace of his sister seemed to be affecting him for the best. Fleeting, random childhood memories appeared in his head as brief flashes of light, reminding him of his worst moments, but also the ever-present hugs from his sisters, cheering him up when he needed them the most. His fears may follow him until the very end, but knowing he wasn't alone was of great help.

The journey back home was silent, except for the muffled sound of the raindrops falling over the car and the windshield wiper dragging over the wet surface of the glass. No one felt the need to say anything. He was exhausted, energy drained, and his sister was clearly trying her best to keep the composure and not fall victim of her own desperation. Carol, meanwhile, didn't seem to have any intention of interrupting the moment they were having. Taking advantage of his position, Lincoln tried to sneak a peek at the girl driving the car, but she wasn't turning back to look at him, seemingly focused on the flooded street ahead of her. She didn't look as bad as Lori, but her usually perfect hair was absolutely unkempt, just like her makeup and expensive clothes.

Lincoln didn't understand why she was there along with Lori. They had been friends several years ago, but for some reason, they stopped talking to each other, and Carol did no longer hang out with Lori. He had missed her at first. She had always been kind to him whenever she visited the Loud house, always trying to include him in their games, asking him how he was doing, and making him laugh with jokes. Even when her friendship with Lori had ended, Carol would still give likes to Lincoln's posts on social media all the time, and in more than one opportunity she had even texted him, asking how he was doing, or congratulating for something he had achieved.

He couldn't really call her a friend, but Lincoln had never stopped considering Carol as one of Lori's friends he appreciated the most. She had even helped him out with his plan to take the perfect picture. She wasn't too happy about how things had ended… but she went there anyway. Because he had asked her to do so.

His peripheral view noted a strange movement, and he looked up at the rear-view mirror. He was completely abashed when he saw Carol's eyes fixed on him through the mirror, and he realized she had probably noticed him looking at her for the past few minutes. Not knowing how to react, he hid his face in Lori's lap, staying away from Carol's gaze.

With no more incidents, soon the car stopped, and Lincoln heard Lori's sigh.

"We're here," the driver announced, maybe trying to break the ice.

Ever so slowly and in a cold sweat, Lincoln drifted away from his sister's embrace to take a look at the house. Vanzilla was parked in the driveway, and behind it, a different car. Pop-Pop's.

His heart throbbed violently.

"Am I in trouble?"

"No, no… It's alright. They're just worried, that's all. It's gonna be alright."

Now that Lincoln wasn't holding onto her anymore, Lori leaned forward, placing a hand on Carol's right shoulder. When the blonde girl turned around, Lori looked at her right in the eye, and even though Lincoln couldn't see her face from his current position, he knew his sister well enough to imagine her pained, guilty visage.

"C-Carol, I… I have no words, just… Thank you. Thanks for everything. I don't… All these years, I… I thought… I've always been jealous, and I felt we were no longer friends, and you were always more popular than me and that made me feel bad, and… I just…"

"Lori, we both acted like idiots," Carol assured her, putting a hand over Lori's. "It's not your fault, I also… contributed to that rivalry. Just because I felt like people loved you more than they loved me, and I acted like a jerk. But that doesn't matter anymore, Lori, it really doesn't. If you ever need anything from me… just call me, alright?"

The two friends fidgeted around in their seats to find the best position to give each other a hug. It only lasted for a few seconds, but Lincoln could feel a change in the air. It was hard to explain, but he felt in his heart that the hug was decimating away years of rivalry, healing old wounds that had never been acknowledged or addressed.

When they moved back into their respective seats, Carol stared at Lincoln. The eloquent pain that was present in her eyes was enough to lower his defenses. He could perceive that she had something to tell him, and even though he wasn't really in any condition to have any sort of talk with anyone, he didn't really have anywhere to go.

"Lincoln… You're the most caring, charming kid I've ever known. You're like the little brother I never had," she admitted, her lips trembling and her eyes filling with tears. "And I can't believe this is happening, but… Just… Just tell me if there's anything I can do for you. Anything."

He felt awkward. How does one respond to such declarations? What to say in response to that? How could he know if she really meant it or if she was just saying it out of pity? Yes, Carol had always treated him nice, and yeah, she would write to him every once in a while… but he had never guessed that she could have such a high opinion of him. How to know if this was true?

Although, truth be told, Lincoln had experience with girls sharing their feelings, and Carol seemed legit. The fact that she had been helping Lori to find him was undeniable. Maybe Lincoln had had a bigger impact in her life than he thought.

Overwhelmed by these revelations, and still in shock by everything that had transpired in the last few hours, he didn't know how to reply. He could only manage to nod and give her a weak smile, hoping that it would be enough.

"Alright, then… We need to go. They must be desperate to see you," Lori concluded.

With a last goodbye, both siblings got out of the car. The storm received them once again, surrounding them in a hostile atmosphere of heavy raindrops and strong wind that made them stagger. Making sure that he was well covered with her own raincoat and one of Carol's towels that she had borrowed them, Lori guided Lincoln towards the house. The mist and water hitting his face didn't let him see clearly, but he was convinced that there was some movement at the window. He closed his eyes and felt himself reach the verge of crying once again. His family was there, waiting for him, and he had to face them. He had acted like an idiot and worried them all, just because of his own rage and fear. He couldn't control himself, he had screwed up, and now he was going to face the consequences.

He didn't have time to react. Lori helped him onto the steps and the porch. They didn't even have to knock. One second, he was standing in front of the wood door, and the next one, the door was open and a couple of arms dragged him inside the house, closing around his head and back, pressing him into the chest of whom he quickly identified as his mother.

The raging storm outside was nothing in comparison to the tempest that was unleashed inside the house upon his arrival. The rain paled next to the tears falling on the carpet and himself. The thunderous gale looked like a soft, autumn breeze next to heavy shakes all his sisters were giving to their mother trying to get to hug him too. Arms of all sizes tried to get a grasp of him, to hold him, to make sure he was real.

The worst, however, was all the shouting. A dozen voices crying out his name, yelling at the same time, asking questions, looking for explanations, praying, cursing, thanking. He felt trapped in the middle of a violent whirlpool of emotions as strong and relentless as the worst of the storms. He had trouble seeing anything, but he was able to detect a few glimpses here and there of all his sister's clothes, his parents and Pop-Pop. His limbs could barely move in the middle of everyone trying to get to him, like he was sinking down, incapacitated in quicksand, and he couldn't get out even if he tried.

Part of him was happy for being back home, no doubts about that, but this… this was too much. He was still scared, hurt, confused, and so much chaos, so much yelling, so much emotion… He was stupefied. Everything seemed to be shaking around him, just like when he worked with wood, and everything was spinning around, and things were moving, and he lost his focus, and his mother's hands looked double, and the voices of everyone around him became confusing roars, and new tears were falling down his cheeks, and he felt bad, oh God, he felt really bad, he wanted to go, he wanted fall to his knees, he wanted it all to end and-

"Alright, that's enough!"

Lori's thunderous voice shook the house. The whole family stopped on their tracks to stare at the oldest sibling. Some glared at her, some looked confused, most looked surprised, but before anyone could say anything, the brief seconds of silence were broken by Lincoln's agitated sobs.

Everyone had their eyes on him, but for the first time since he got there, they paid attention to him. He was hyperventilating, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, trying to catch mouthfuls of air. His lips were shivering uncontrollably, and his face was turned into a grimace as what felt like the last of his tears spilled from his irritated eyes. He didn't like being seen like this. He didn't want to look so vulnerable, but things were too overwhelming. Guilt was eating him on the inside like a swarm of locusts.

He could feel the silence as his whole family stared at him, but soon enough, Lori's wet arms pulled him into a new hug. She was kneeling down on the floor, and she wrapped her arms around him to protect him from the battery of questions and emotions that the family was throwing at him, even if they didn't mean to. Lori's comforting embrace managed to give him a little bit of tranquility in the middle of such dire circumstances, and he was at least able to catch his breath.

"Give him space," she asked, stroking her brother's back and looking intensely at the rest of the family. "Don't overwhelm him."

He continued trying to soothe himself down, but before he was fully recovered, Rita and Lynn Sr got closer.

"Lincoln, son, thank God," his father said, his voice struggling to come out.

Moving away from Lori, he took two steps forward, falling right into the stronger, tighter embrace of his mother. Rita's hands slithered through his soaked, brown hair, and closed around the edges of his shirt. Unlike her husband, who was trying his best to keep his composure, Rita had no trouble allowing herself to cry.

"L-Lincoln… Lincoln… I thought that… I t-thought… God, I was s-so worried…"

The choir of weeping around him kept going on, disrupting the silence. All because of him and his fuck ups. For having lost control not once, but twice on the same day. For being week. For not being strong for them.

He delicately moved away from his mother. He stood in front of her, face to face with her pained, worried expression, and he felt a cold sensation expanding within his body. No son ever wants to see their mother cry, especially not because of them. He took one step back, ending up with Lori at his side, and the rest of his family in front of him. Waiting to hear him. He looked down at the carpet beneath, and his fingers began nervously fidgeting with each other as he tried to come up with the right words.

"Mom… Dad… Girls," he said, the last word filled with guilt and chagrin, "I… I'm sorry. I'm s-so sorry, I didn't want to… I didn't want to worry you. I didn't mean for this to happen, I… I was s-supposed to just hang out with C-Clyde and the rest of the guys, I shouldn't have run a-away, I shouldn't have l-left my phone there, I shouldn't have disappeared out of nowhere… I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I-I didn't want to cause you any more problems! I'm t-trying to be strong for you b-b-but…! But…! I'm sc-c-cared! And, and, and I-I…!"

He didn't know who was the first one to jump right into his arms, although judging by the impact on his ribs, it was probably one of the twins, or Lucy, perhaps. A second later, all his sisters were giving him one of their trademark group hugs, one from which he wouldn't be able to escape even if he wanted to. Which he didn't. His small apology had broken him once again. In his fragile, vulnerable state, just a pinch of emotion was enough to get his feelings flowing unfiltered. He loved his sisters. He loved them more than anything in the world. More than himself. And even though he didn't want to worry them or see them sad, even if he wanted to be strong for them, to deal with the pain and fear that corrupted him on the inside all alone, he couldn't deny that it felt good to be honest with them. Very good. Knowing that they were there for him, to support him and help him in his time of need. It reminded him why he loved them so much.

"Don't worry Linky, we understand," said Leni, almost in a whisper.

"It's okay to be scared. We're all scared," Lynn said, clearing her throat to hide her crying.

"You don't have to keep anything to yourself," added Lucy, "you can be honest with us."

"Yeah, you're worrying too much about us; you gotta start thinking of yourself too, bro. Don't forget about your mental health," Luna asked him.

The twins hugged his legs even tighter and said, "We love you!".

Lincoln closed his eyes and allowed himself to enjoy the group hug. It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that they finally let him go, releasing him but not walking more than a few steps away from him. And it was at that moment that he noticed the state of some of his sisters.

"Lynn, what happened to you?"

His older sister was standing to his right, but she wasn't wearing her regular clothes. She had one of her many pajamas. A white jersey with red lines on the sleeves and a big number five at the front, and her shorts were now a red jogging. The most striking and worrisome thing, however, was that she had a towel around her shoulders, and her hair, even though it wasn't dripping like Lincoln's, looked pretty damp, with her bangs sticking heavily to her forehead, over the worryingly pale skin of her face.

Lynn bit her lip and threw a quick glance at her left. Lucy was there, and just like her roommate, she was wearing her pajamas and a towel around her shoulders to prevent her wet hair from soaking her clothes.

"We went out looking for you," admitted Lynn, directing a quick apologetic look at her parents, who simply sighed. "I took my bike and we went around the neighborhood."

Lincoln felt a new twist to his heart. Not only Lori, but two others of his sisters had voluntarily gone outside under a terrible storm to look for him. To try to find him and make sure he was okay. Moved by the gesture, and feeling highly guilty, he approached Lynn and Lucy, giving them a brief but very heartfelt hug. The two stuck to him, accepting his apology, even if they didn't know that was his intention.

"I'm so sorry," he told them, separating from Lynn but keeping an arm around Lucy. "I shouldn't have caused you any problems. Especially you, Luce. I'm your big brother, I have to take care of you, and because of me-"

"Just shut up, Stinkoln," Lynn said with a shy smile, giving him a soft tap on the shoulder, resting her hand there. "We went looking for you because we were worried. It was our decision. Definitely not your fault."

Among so many negative feelings of guilt, fear, pain and insecurities, his sister words were almost balsamic to him. A small glimpse of light among so much darkness. After a new and fleeting embrace, he finally took a step back from them. Before he could even turn around, though, a sneeze to his left caught his attention.

Lana, just like Lynn and Lucy, had a towel around her body. Unlike her sisters, though, she still wore her clothes, fully drenched and with some mud stains on them. Lola was standing next to her, and the two were discreetly holding hands. Her eyes looked large and bright, full of tears.

"And what happened to you, Lana? Don't tell me you went out looking for me, too," he said, kneeling in front of the twins and bringing a hand to his little sister's face to wipe away her tears.

Lana slowly tilted her head to the side, trying to stay in touch with her brother's hand.

"We were waiting for you here with Luna and Luan," Lola said in a very soft voice, different from the cocky, authoritative tone that she normally talked with, "and suddenly she was gone."

"Where did you go?"

After a few seconds of silence, the little grease monkey looked at him with trembling lips.

"I-I went to build a hut for the tree," she confessed. "Our tree. The rain was too strong, it was gonna drown it."

The tree. Lincoln had barely watered it in the last two days. His idea was to leave something behind him that could keep growing even when he was gone. A small memory of his passing through the world. And yes, he had shared that moment with Lana, but he had never seen it as leaving her a responsibility, forcing her to protect the tree to preserve his memory. He had imagined that she, of all her sisters, would probably appreciate planting and looking after a tree. But apparently, Lana was taking it much more seriously than he intended, and he wasn't sure that was a good thing.

"Lana… I'm sorry. You shouldn't have done that. You could get sick!"

"But…"

"No buts, okay?" He said, perhaps a little harsher than he intended. He sighed and tried to smile at her. "How do you think I would feel if one of my little sisters gets sick because of me? I don't want you to take any chances, you know?"

"But that's our tree," Lana complained. "You said it."

"Yeah, I know, but-"

"So why are you angry at me?"

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "I'm not mad at you, I'm just-"

"I was worried too, you know?!" She said, sounding offended and near the point of crying. "Everyone was out there looking for you, and all Lola and I could do was stay at home and wait! It's n-not fair!"

"Lana, sweetheart," Pop-Pop intervened, approaching his grandchildren, "your brother's just worried, okay? Don't be so rough with him."

After patting her on the back, Albert turned his eyes to his only grandson. When their eyes met, Lincoln felt truly intimidated. A part of him hoped that maybe no one had told him about what was really going on with his heart, but that possibility presented itself as highly unlikely. And even if that was the case, the truth was that he wouldn't have any excuse to escape the confrontation. He would have to be honest with his grandpa in front of everyone else. He supposed it was a fair punishment for having been weak and not speak the truth when he had the chance to do so.

Pop-Pop took the initiative, kneeling in front of the scared kid. Lincoln was very aware of the fact that the whole family had their eyes fixed on them both. His hyperactive mind led him to wonder for a second if that's how the old gladiators felt when entering the coliseum. Being the center of attention without really wanting to. Being totally exposed, with nothing to do to avoid it. He shifted the weight of his body to the other leg, and nervously rub his hands. Should he be the one to start? Should he apologize? Tell him the truth? Ask if he already knew it?

The big, powerful hand of the war veteran settled delicately on Lincoln's right parietal. His fingers gently stroked the soaked strands of chestnut hair, and the deep, tired eyes of the old man were filled with emotion.

"Son…" he said before leaning forward, resting his forehead against Lincoln's.

"Sue… did she tell you?" he asked, closing his eyes, getting ready for the worst.

"Yes. Yes, she told me everything. Oh, little one…" Under the watchful eyes of the rest of the family, Pop-Pop surrounded Lincoln's back with his arms and squeezed him in an affectionate and heartbreaking hug.

Once, Lynn Sr had had to take a two weeks trip to Washington to close a deal for the IT company he worked for. Lincoln remembered the hug he and all his sisters had given him, knowing they wouldn't see him for a while. A sad farewell hug, trying to remember every little detail, every tiny millimeter of his body. They had all been extremely sad about his departure. The twins even cried that first night.

Well, this hug was at least ten times more painful. A goodbye hug without the consolation or the hope of reunion. Lincoln's arms found their way around his wide grandfather, clinging to him as much as he could. In just ten days he had gone over this process over and over again, but it never became easier. Saying goodbye in advance to his family. Knowing that the words that carried the news would break the hearts of the people he cared the most about. It wasn't his fault, he knew that, but he hated being the herald of such horrible news regardless.

"You tried to tell me yesterday… and I didn't realize," Albert lamented.

"No… I lied to you…"

"You did what you could," he assured him, pulling away from him so he could see him in the eyes. "Now I realize how you tried to tell me. I never would have imagined… I never… Jesus, Lincoln, son…"

"It's my fault for not being honest," Lincoln admitted, closing his eyes and hanging his head down in shame. "All these days, I've done nothing but lying. To you. To everyone. I didn't let people say anything to my sisters or friends… I didn't want anyone to know…"

"You were trying to protect us," intervened Lucy, but he shook his head decisively.

"No. No, no. I was only sparing myself… I didn't want to see you sad because it would make me sad. I wasn't being considerate; I was being selfish."

"Don't say that," Luna quickly said, getting closer. "Lincoln, we… We're all a mess, alright? I can't even think of words to match the way I'm feeling. But… bruh, you're the real victim here."

She stopped for a second to gulp and clench her fists, and everyone else used the small pause to clear their throats or discreetly rub their eyes.

"We're not hurt because we feel sorry for ourselves. We're like this 'cause we love you. I would take a year of misery just to give you one day of joy, bro. Anything to help you!"

"What Luna's trying to say," Luan hurriedly intervened, placing a hand on her roommate's back, trying to calm her down before she let herself be carried away by emotions, "is that your feelings matter, too. They matter a lot. Right now, they matter more than ours."

"All these days you were trying to be strong for us," Lucy continued, "when really it should have been us who were strong for you. I'm sorry, Lincoln."

One by one, all his sisters apologized with tearful eyes, trembling lips, restless hands and open hearts. A hard clash of conflicting feelings occurred in Lincoln's heart, creating emotional shockwaves as thunderous as the storm outside. On the one hand, he still felt miserable for everything that had transpired within the day (losing control of his emotions, being a jerk to his friends, making Cristina cry, being rough with Clyde, and then going missing). And on the other hand, he felt… liberated. Just like his body would relax after crying and letting out all the emotions he kept inside, it was like his mind and spirit were also cleansed and purified. Having cried for hours, told Lori all his fears, hearing her words of encouragement, and now listening to all his sisters telling him that his feelings matter, that he could be weak, that he was allowed to be scared… he felt calm. At peace with himself.

Pop-Pop used his strong forearm to wipe his cheeks, blinking rapidly to try to keep himself together. Lincoln had never seen his grandfather like this. The old man had always seemed to be above everything, never showing weakness. Even as a sexagenarian, he was able to kick marine's butts in a game of paintball. And yet, he now seemed to be falling apart. He wished he could help him, but he didn't know what to do.

Fortunately, he didn't have to do anything, because Myrtle's soft hands rested on Albert's shoulders. Her delineated and always impeccable eyes were fixed on Lincoln's, looking at him with as much love as if he was her own grandson.

"Take the advice from someone who lived decades without family, Lincoln. They're really the most precious thing we have. I understand that you prioritize your sister's feelings… but you can't neglect yours. Like Luan said, they matter too. And your family will always be here, through the good and the bad. Nobody can always be strong, so don't be afraid of being vulnerable. We're not going to judge you. We're here for you. Don't be afraid of being yourself."

Nothing could remove the tormenting sense of despair and deep horror that had installed itself in Lincoln's heart. It would always be there, like a waiting dark presence, a stalking feeling that wouldn't leave him alone and that would attack in his moments of weakness until the end. Nothing could push away the existential anguish that invaded him… but small acts and measured words could calm him down and soothe him. A hug. A smile. Things that had once seemed insignificant and foolish, they were suddenly everything. He couldn't uproot the doubt and fear away from him, but the remedy for his anguish was love. Feeling loved, and cared for. Content. It wasn't a cure, it didn't make his problems disappear, but it allowed him to at least feel that he wasn't alone, to appreciate the beauty of life, and at least for a while, forget about the bad things and focus on the good ones instead.

Giving a long look around, surrounded by his family, he decided to hold on to that positivity.

An awkward silence followed Myrtle's words. Even a few minutes later, when the whole family was already in a position where they could control their crying and keep their emotions in check, nobody really knew how to continue from that, how to move past that moment of understanding, where they had all reached a collective emotional agreement. Lincoln felt the need to apologize and be thankful once again, but at this point he was afraid of sounding like a broken record, with his trite words falling on deaf ears, with no real impact. It was then when someone to his left cleared their throat, and as he turned his head, he was dumbfounded when he saw the little spark of malice shining in Luan's eyes, lately so cold and gray, and without a shadow of the former fire that there resided.

"So, Lincoln," she began, with a mischievous smile, "Carol told us that you were in an ice-cream shop before the rain started. Is that so?"

He blinked a couple of times, feeling that funny tone so alien, even if he had spent his whole life around it. He noticed a change in the air, while the rest of the family stared at the comedian with stupefied eyes.

"Eh… yeah? Why?"

"Well, I guess you got more than you bargained for when you asked for sprinkles! Hahahaha, get it?" she topped off, extending her arms like the wings of an eagle, while her face full of tears and her red eyes hid behind an authentic, radiant smile, accompanied by a sound that the Loud house had missed for the past days.

A giggle. Laughter.

Lincoln would have been too confused to laugh, but the sound of Albert, Myrtle and particularly Lynn Sr letting out a timid laughter, finally broke the misery cocoon he'd be trapped in, and he gave in to his impulse to laugh. It began as some sort of hiccup mixed with a coughing fit, but it soon acquired the sharp tone of his childish voice. He could barely be heard, though, as the rest of his sisters and Rita let out exhausted snorts of false indignation, all refuted by the smiles that crept up their cheeks.

"I mean, it must have been raining down dogs! From what I saw, there were poodles everywhere! Hahahahaha, get it?!"

This time, the laughter of the men (and Myrtle, who had always gotten a kick out of puns) grew just as much as the false complaints of the rest of the family, with Lori calling Luan "literally irremediable", Lynn giving her a calculated soft blow on the shoulder, and Lana throwing a wet towel at her face. By the time they were all calming down, Lincoln couldn't contain himself anymore and moved over to give the comedian a big hug.

"Aw, Lincoln! I know there's a lightning storm outside, but you don't have to be so electrocute. Get it?" She said, not waiting a single second to cling to him and rub her warm cheeks against the dripping hair of her younger brother. Her biggest fan. Her inspiring muse.

Rita wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand and got closer to her son. "Honey, I think you should go and take a hot shower right now. Go, I'll bring you clothes while you're there."

He almost wanted to argue, but the look on her mother's face made it clear that there was no debating this. Assuring everyone that he wouldn't take too long, he took off his shoes and socks right there. His toes were white and wrinkled like little raisins after being trapped for hours inside a small, water-containing, leathered Adidas prison. He flexed them, trying to regain movement and sensitivity in them, and he felt the warm carpet under his feet for a few seconds before heading to the bathroom upstairs.

As he walked away, he heard many sighs, and people letting out contained emotions. Lily began to babble as she usually did, drawing Luna's attention, who took her towards the kitchen while humming the melody of I remember you. By the time he reached the eight step, his ear caught up the sound of the twins charging right into, presumably, Lori, almost knocking her down with a big hug.

"You did it," they both said at the same time. "You kept your promise."

Just as he turned to his left at the corridor above, he caught a glimpse from the corner of his eyes of the whole family hugging Lori. A shy smile appeared in his face.

Soon, almost on autopilot, he reached the bathroom, locking himself inside and turning on the hot water. While the noise of the shower flooded the small room and the steam looked for an open way to escape, he undressed. In all this time he hadn't realized just how much his clothes clung to his body, and how heavy they had turned with the water drenching them. In a strange impulse of imagination, he took his orange polo shirt and ceremoniously dropped it to the floor, pretending to be taking off extra weight in preparation to a big, important battle, just like his favorite anime characters always did. Knowing that there was no one looking at him, he put himself in a very exaggerated and probably very fake-looking martial arts pose, looking at himself in the mirror to see how cool he looked.

His excitement was almost vanished when he saw the reflection of his brown hair. His battle pose hesitated, and soon he was simply standing there, still with his undies on, in the middle of the bathroom, looking at the floor tiles as if they were a work of art. A cold claw began to crawl inside his chest, but before it could close itself around his heart and take over his mind and body, Lincoln shook his head.

He was at his house. His family loved him. He thought of them, and miraculously, a genuine smile appeared on his face. He took a deep breath, and as the steam was getting inside his lungs, clearing his respiratory tract, a different warm sensation germinated inside. It wasn't invasive like the liquid that Lori had made him drink at the park, no. It seemed to sprout directly from within his soul. It was soft, comforting, pleasant.

Maybe the battle pose was childish and silly, but at that moment, being childish was the last of his worries, so he removed the last piece of clothing he had left on and jumped under the warm torrent of water, imagining that he was a warrior training under a waterfall.

Twenty minutes later, Lincoln was in his room, already wearing his regular set of pajamas, with the only difference that now he wore a long-sleeved shirt under his usual orange pajama, with socks and slippers to keep his feet warm. He felt a bit guilty for taking a looooong, fifteen minutes shower, blissfully unaware that Lana, Lori, Lynn and Lucy were waiting for their turn. Lynn and Lucy had decided to share a shower to save on time and hot water, so now only Lori and Lana stood in the hall, shivering cold, with Lola and Leni trying to dry them off with some towels to the best of their abilities.

His mother, Pop-Pop and Luna had visited him in his room, making sure that he had everything he needed, and most importantly, that he was doing alright. He told them that he was okay, and oddly enough, he didn't have to lie. It was… weird. He wasn't radiating joy, but he felt stable. Exhausted as well, though, and not just physically.

When Rita and his grandfather decided to go back to the living room and help Lynn Sr with the preparations for dinner, Lincoln took the opportunity to ask Luna about how much of a disaster his disappearance had caused.

"None of this is your fault, you hear me, dude? So you better not start feeling that you have to apologize or anything, y'know what I'm saying?" She warned him, sounding extremely serious.

And so, she told him everything that had happened. Pop-Pop's arrival, Lori calling to his phone and talking to Clyde and Jordan. The search parties. Lynn and Lucy running away. Lori going on her own. Lana escaping to the backyard when no one was looking to dig a few furrows to drain water and place some wood planks as a rudimentary roof over the tree they had planted. Leni, coming home almost two hours later, finding just then about Lincoln's disappearance because her phone had run out of battery due to "a lot of very important calls".

And it didn't end right there. Many of their friends and acquaintances had learned of the situation. They had called everyone they knew trying to find someone who had seen him. Chunk, Chaz and Becky had taken out their cars, looking for him on the streets. Lynn's basketball and lacrosse teams had been informed, and many of the players had grabbed their umbrellas and bikes, forming new sets of search parties, looking for their captain's younger brother. Clyde's dads had to take their SUV and join their son, who had run away from Rusty's house to look for Lincoln the moment he heard the news.

The hardest part had probably been hearing that Bobby couldn't go out to look for him because he had to stay at home and calm Ronnie Anne down. The girl would not stop calling Lynn and the house's phone, openly crying, asking for any news on him.

"Your friends told us what happened," admitted Luna, sitting on his bed right next to him, with one arm around his shoulders pulling him close. "I know you, bro, I know you probably feel like you did something wrong… but believe me when I say that nobody blames you."

He sighed.

"Y'know, in a way that only makes me feel worse."

"You need to stop apologizing for everything, dude. Honestly, it's becoming a little ridiculous… You gotta accept that you can't control everything, especially when it comes to other people. You can't feel responsible that we're bummed out, or that we were worried sick for you."

"I just don't want to cause you guys trouble," he admitted, sliding down his sister's body until he rested his head on her lap. He looked up, meeting her much more calm and serene gaze. "All my life I've tried to manipulate and trick people to take advantage. And I never really thought of it as a bad thing… until now. Now I feel like I was a bad person, and… I want to change that. I want to be good."

His sister's bright eyes were fixed on him with warmth and understanding in them. Maybe if she hadn't spent the last couple of hours crying her worries out, she would have done it again right then. But either because he was too tired or because her big sister instinct wouldn't allow it, she didn't. She simply intertwined their fingers while her other hand caressed his forehead.

"You're not perfect, Linc. No one is," she softly said. "We're all selfish from time to time. We all make mistakes. We all act like idiots and jerks every once in a while. It's not about never being that, it's about tryna do the best we can, as often as we can. The fact that you're here feeling bad and guilty for not being good all the time says a lot about how great you are as a person. And everyone can see that, dude. Why do you think all those people went out looking for you? Because they owe you a favor? No! Because we love you. You family, your friends. And that's something that only good people get. Maybe you're not, uh… objectively perfect, but you definitely are for me."

He couldn't avoid smiling. Luna had always had a natural talent with words. So many hours listening to music, metaphors, rhetorical figures and extravagant language had turned her into an everyday poet, at least when she put the British accent away and opened her heart. She was a girl that truly exuded passion and raw emotions.

She seemed to confuse his smile with an ironic one, however, since she clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes, as if he was too stubborn to accept a compliment. Lincoln felt her right leg bouncing in its place a couple of times as she thought in silence. To his surprise, after a few seconds, a soft, warm melody filled the room.

MaybeYou'll never see in you what I seeThe little things you do that make me go crazyI'm not crazyYou're perfectly perfect…SomedayYou're gonna see you're beautiful this wayAnd that you're always gonna make me go crazyI'm not crazyYou're perfectly perfect to me

When she finished singing, Luna closed her eyes for a second, taking a breath and letting it out in a long, stretched sigh. When she opened her eyes again, she found the astounded look of her little brother.

"What?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lincoln continued to stare at her as a child in the presence of Santa Claus. It was certainly not Christmas, but he had just received an unexpected gift that would have totally been on his list if the holiday had been indeed close.

"You sang," he simply said, earning a shy but honest smile from her, full of mixed feelings. A smile that seemed to be apologizing, but that was also assuring him that everything was gonna be alright. Or at least, as well as circumstances would allow them to be.

Luna looked different. Still scared, still hurt, but definitely not the same girl that had cried all night long with him in a tent outside just a few days ago. Something was different within her. Like the light of a small flame igniting once more. He wished that this moment with her could last longer, so he could have the chance of spending a few more minutes with this Luna that looked more like the one he had known his entire life, the one he would forever treasure in his memory… But in a family as big as his, one-on-one moments were rare and precious.

Soft, light knocks on the door interrupted them. Lincoln sat straight up, allowing Luna to take the key he had left on his desk and open the door, revealing Lola. The princess wore her typical pink dress, but that, her tiara and her earrings were the only things left that identified her as a former, multiple times beauty pageant winner. For the past two days, ever since she found out about the truth, the little girl had stopped wearing makeup. No more makeup base, no more eyeshadow, eyeliner, or lipstick to accentuate her natural reddish lips. Right then she wasn't even wearing her pink gloves, exposing her small, soft hands, with their always impeccable nails now showing some signs of the magenta nail polish peeling off.

It's not that she didn't look beautiful, but her natural beauty now had a new element to it, different, one that she usually tried to conceal but that it wasn't less beautiful in its own merits. Vulnerability.

"Hey, Pumpkin. Comin' to check up on Lincoln?" The older one asked.

"Yeah," Lola answered, avoiding to meet her eyes, with her hands rubbing each other nonchalantly. "Can I…? Would you mind leaving us alone?"

Luna nodded, gulping and clearing the throat so she could look as happy and radiant as her little sister needed her to be.

"Sure! I gotta talk with Leni anyway," she said, and Lincoln was surprised to hear how honest she sounded.

With a short farewell, Luna left the room, closing the door behind her once Lola stepped inside, leaving princess and coach all alone, face to face. As soon as the sound of the footsteps was lost in the distant hall, Lola stealthily locked the door with the key. She turned around ever so slowly with closed eyes, let out a sigh that looked like it had been building up for several minutes, and then rushed to climb his bed next to him and wrap her tiny arms around him, hiding her face in his chest. She didn't begin to cry right then and there, but as he hugged her back, he could feel her hands closing on his pajama, and her body shaking against his.

"I was so scared," she admitted in a small voice, clinging on to him with all her strength.

"I'm sorry I ran away like that. I shouldn't have done that," he admitted, stroking Lola's back. "But your big brother's here now. Don't be scared. It's gonna be alright."

"I thought you were… that you… that… You have no idea how scared I was!" She complained, pulling away to look at him with puppy eyes, moving her hands up from his back to his cheeks. "I wasn't ready! There's so many…! I… You…"

The little one was starting to hyperventilate, and Lincoln, no matter how strongly he believed (and now he knew first hand) that let yourself be carried away by emotions could be therapeutic, didn't want his six years old sister to go into a nervous breakdown.

"Don't be scared, okay? I'm here," he assured her, touching his chest with his palm. "Listen, I… I'm sorry I'm not spending that much time with each one of you. It's always been hard trying to divide myself in ten, and now… Now I need to make the most of my time with each of you. And sometimes I'm not completely fair to all of you. And I'm sorry. The last thing I want is for you to feel that I'm not with you enough. Could you forgive your dumb, big brother who's really stubborn and doesn't know how to organize his time?"

He had said it with a slightly mocking tone, trying to make her see that he was kinda playing. But he was also trying to transform the situation into one where he had to apologize, making her believe that it was his fault and thus things would be resolved if she forgave him. He wanted to distract her from the fact that even though this time he got back home… it would soon come a day where he wouldn't. And yet, his little trick seemed to have no effect on her. It even kinda made her look a bit angrier. Lola clenched her fist, biting her lower lip so hard Lincoln feared she might cut it.

"Y-You shouldn't apologize," she said, struggling to let the words out, as if saying them was a task that hurt her insides, "I'm… It's me who should apologize."

Lincoln clicked his tongue.

"I don't know why you say it, I-"

"I'm sorry for being so bossy," she began, hanging her head down in shame, failing to find the courage within to look at her brother's eyes as she began admitting everything that she saw as a bad behavior. "For telling you what to do, to treat you like… l-like a butler. I'm s-sorry for blackmailing you, and, and, and for making you do stuff you didn't want to. You always… Y-You always helped me be a better pageant princess. You coached me… You helped me be better. You taught me how to read! You were always the bestest big brother in the whole world, and… and I was n-never nice to you."

It was at that moment that the young child finally broke, letting herself fall forward, her forehead clashing with Lincoln's waiting chest, who welcomed her with open arms, giving her the warmest hug he could pull off. He tried to say something to comfort her, to assure her that she was wrong, but she wouldn't give him time to talk.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I wasn't the best at showing it, but you're my brother and I love you so so so so so much. And now… and now… I just… I wanna let you know that I'm really sorry, and from now on you'll be the prince a-and I'll be the guest and… And also…"

He couldn't see her face, but he could imagine her face of pain and disappointment when she pronounced the following: "...I'm not mad at you for preferring Lana."

"Wait, what?" He said, pulling away from her hug.

Very few things produced in Lincoln such a strong and negative reaction as the idea of him having a favorite sister or sisters he loved more than others. Being the middle child and the only boy in the house made it so there were many disputes throughout the years on whom he loved the most. The older sisters bringing up old memories of when he was little and played to marry them. The younger ones bringing up how easily he would play with them. He had always ended up in the middle of those disputes, and at his refusal to pick one (or a group, either youngers vs elders, or blondes vs brunettes vs Lucy), he usually ended up as collateral damage. At least for a couple of hours, until they would calm down and one by one apologize to him for the troubles caused.

The idea of having a favorite sister was almost insulting. Even though he got into fights with some more often than others, or if he spent more time with the most social sisters, he loved them all equally, unconditionally. The situation reminded him of that one time where his dad was worried about playing favorites with his children. The issue, however, gained a whole new layer when it came to the twins. He knew better than anyone that Lola and Lana were very different from the other, from their personality to their tastes. Even so, the idea of one of them thinking that he preferred their twin… it all sounded even crueler, somehow.

"Lola! I don't like Lana more than you!" He said, sounding almost offended. Adequately, since he was.

His sister still refused to look at him, but the sounds of her throat and her shaking shoulders spoke for themselves. A particularly strong sob made her shake to the point where her tiara slid down her head, bounced on her lap, and finally rolled down until it laid still and forgotten on the carpet.

"T-That's not true… But I don't blame you. Any of you," she said, and more than her crying, what really hurt Lincoln was the sincerity with which she spoke. "She's the nice twin. She's the one that treats you well. I'm the fool that bosses you around, that scolds you, that threatens you. You all play with Lana, but you play for me. And it's my fault, Linky, it's my f-fault. I'm so, so, so sorry, and there's nothing I can do, but… But at least… At least I want you to know t-that I'm going to change. I-I'm going to be a better sister, and I'm going to play with everyone, and I'm going to give money to anyone that needs it, and I won't spy on you guys, and… and… And most importantly…"

She raised her gaze once more. Her lack of makeup made her look even more like a young six years old girl, and to see her cry so openly and vulnerably caused Lincoln an unbearable pain that attacked the depths of his soul. A pain that could only be topped by the powerful and heartrending words she uttered.

"...you said… you said you'll always be watching over me… looking at me… and I want you to see that I love you, and that I turned into a better sister than I was to you. The sister you… deserve," she said, leaning once again to join him in a warm embrace, so tight together that their beating hearts tried to synchronize with each other, as both set of arms intertwined like knots that neither time nor distance could break.

He didn't know how long she had studied her little speech, but there was no doubt that this was the same girl who crushed the competition in all pageants with her eloquent answers and dreams to improve the world. He had no idea where she came up with the notion that he could ever love Lana more than he loved her, or why she had such a low opinion of herself.

It took him one or two minutes to catch his breath, but when he did, words flowed naturally.

"Lola, I love you just as much as I love the rest. No more, no less. I love you all, and that absolutely includes you. I don't, uh, I don't know what I did to make you think that Lana is my favorite. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. You don't have to prove that you love me or that you're better… I think you're great the way you are."

"That's not true, I'm bad," she said in a broken voice. "I've heard you all saying that, when you didn't know I was eavesdropping. And you're right… I am bad…"

"Listen, we talk bad things behind each other's backs from time to time," he said, forcing a small chuckle. "How many times have we complained about Luan's pranks? Or Luna's noise? Or Lynn's apology punches? Or Leni's… mistakes? Or me reading with my underwear? We're no angels. You're not perfect, but you don't have to be for me to love you. And don't… Listen, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. If you want to play more with u… With the girls… do it, but not because you think I'll love you more. I could never love you or any of the girls more than I do now, because I love you with all of my heart."

A pause. One that managed to ease their minds, and that Lola used to get lost within her brother's loving, protecting arms, sharing his warmth, like a warm blanket on a winter night, wrapping her in a pleasant feeling of tranquility and stability.

"Is it… is it too late?" She asked, her voice struggling to crawl out of her throat. "Will you remind me as a spoiled, bratty girl?"

"How are you going to remind me?" He asked in return, trying disguisedly to know the answer to one of the great questions that had been running through his mind lately.

Lola didn't respond right away, needing a few seconds to formulate her thoughts and shape them into an answer.

"As my big brother. The one who always forgave me and tried to help me with everything."

"And you'll always be my little sister, the one who was always there when I needed her," he said, smiling, and then he failed to stop himself from adding, "and who bought me the best, comfiest undies I've ever had in my life."

Lola giggled, resting her head comfortably on the crook of his neck.

"You're such a dork."

"I suppose I am."

"But seriously, I love you a lot."

"I love you too, princess."

"Just call me Lola."

"How about Lols?"

"...deal."

They slowly moved away from each other, and both took the opportunity to wipe their faces off with one of Lincoln's blankets. Lola tried to hide the fact that she was wiping some snot that escaped her nose, but Lincoln didn't say anything. Even princesses had their peasant moments.

"Have you been feeling this way for a while?" He asked, resting a hand on her back as she climbed down from his lap and sat next to him.

"Kinda," she admitted in a whisper, her lips barely parting. "I wanted to tell you… But I didn't want to bother you… But today… Well…"

"Alright, gotchu. Don't worry. I get it. I'm glad you told me. We're siblings, we have to be honest with each other. What if we promise to always tell the truth to each other, from now on? No more secrets. Whatchu say, Lols?"

To his surprise and slight confusion, Lola brought a finger to her chin, squinting her eyes and biting her tongue as she thought.

"Well, there's one thing I'm gonna have to lie to you about," she admitted, as if was something absolutely normal and inconsequential, "but I do want to be more open about everything else."

"What do you have to lie to me about?"

She rolled her eyes, letting him know he had just asked a very stupid question. He would've been offended, but the tension seemed to be dissipating from his room, and he appreciated that.

"I'm not going to tell you, duh," she said, as if it was obvious. "But… well, I'll just say it's nothing bad. So don't you worry."

He scrutinized his sister's face for a few seconds, trying to see how much information he could get out of it. But trying to read Lola when she was hiding something was like trying to read Latin with a Mayan alphabet. You just can't.

"Alright," he said, admitting defeat. "I won't ask more. Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

"No, I don't want to bother you."

"You're not a bother."

"Still, mom and dad said that you might need some time for yourself and that we should give you space. I only came because… you know."

"Yeah, it's fine. Thank you," he said, squeezing her shoulder and giving her a soft kiss on her forehead. "You're a good sister. Never forget that."

Lola's face lit up as if he had just given her a prize, and after saying goodbye with a very sharp and excited "See you later, Linky!", she skipped her way out of her brother's room. He sat on his bed, smiling, enjoying the little moment of happiness. He wondered how long would the joy linger on Lola's face, how long it would last before the good moment would vanish, and the battering ram of crude reality would assault their hearts' doors once again.

This whole terrible experience, however, taught him that every moment was a gift, and that the responsibility of make the best out of them was on him. And above all, it was up to him to fix his own mistakes. Sitting on his bed, he stretched his arm towards one of his desk drawers and fished out his walkie talkie. He couldn't remember how young he was when Clyde's dads bought them. One for each, with enough reach so they could talk to each other from their own houses. This was before Lincoln's parents were comfortable with little kids having their own phones, so their walkie talkies were the only medium of communication they had. Even today, with both of them having their own phones, they still much rather use the good ol' reliable.

It was particularly useful for situations like this, where Lincoln didn't have his phone with him. He would often have it discharged -finding a charger and a free outlet in a house of thirteen wasn't an easy task- or he would leave it accidentally in silence. His walkie talkie, however, was always available, as it was his emergency, direct line with his best friend. A friend that was most likely on the other end of the line, desperate to listen to his voice. Worried about him. He knew it, because that's how Clyde was. Even if Lincoln had acted like an idiot and didn't deserve to be forgiven, Clyde would.

He wanted to call him, but he felt ashamed of himself. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to apologize. There were no excuses to his behavior. Clyde would look for them. He would try to tell him that it was okay, that he forgave him, that he understood, that there was nothing to worry about, but it would be all lies. He didn't want an easy way out of this one. He didn't want people to let him be a jerk just because he was dying.

Even so, the whole point of his Operation Farewell was to try to make all his wrongs right, and leave a good image of himself behind so that his loved ones could remember him in the best way possible. He didn't know how to fix the situation, but he couldn't allow himself to die without making peace with his best friend from childhood. He grabbed the walkie talkie and slowly neared it to his face, his whole body filled with the false bravado and fear of a child waiting at a doctor's office for a vaccine. His index finger hesitated above the button, and his mouth opened, ready to call for Cadet Clyde…

It was right then when the lights flickered and a light bulb blew up in the hall.

The sound of shattering glass startled him, with some shards hitting his own door. The light over his bed started to blink, dimming almost completely and then immediately shine much brighter than usual. After the initial shock, he was quick to turn it off to prevent it from exploding too.

"Lisa!" He heard Lori's angry voice coming from the bathroom. Her shower with Lana was probably not over yet. Dropping the walkie talkie on his bed, Lincoln stepped out into the hall. Luan, Luna, Lynn, Lucy, Leni and Lola were all peeking out of their respective rooms, with bored and barely confused looks on their faces, used by now to Lisa's experiment disrupting the peace and quiet. Lynn and Lucy wore their pajamas, with slippers that they usually only used during cold, winter days. Lynn, just like throughout the day and the night before, was letting her hair loose, without her classic ponytail. She seemed to be embracing this new look.

The lights in the hall kept flickering, and the soft buzzing of the electric current passing the already broken lamp could be heard even over the sound of the rain on the roof.

"Lisa!" Exclaimed Lynn Sr, marching up the stairs, visibly annoyed, but not particularly irritated or angry. His eyes went immediately to the shattered lamp. "Lola, Lucy, make sure you don't walk barefoot. Luna, go get the broom and try to gather the pieces of glass. Lisa, if you're trying to merge Charles and Walt again, I'm going to confiscate your genetic decoder!"

He extended his hand in the direction of the door knob, ready to get inside and ground his daughter if necessary, but before he could touch it, a visible arc of lightning shot out from the metal doorknob and into his fingers. Lynn Sr jumped and let out a sharp cry, pushing his hand away as much as possible. Lincoln approached, confused, and now that his attention was focused on the knob, he noticed tiny electric arcs around the metal, like an open plasma lamp, producing part of the buzz that resonated through the hall.

"Girls, don't touch the doors!" Lynn Sr warned, trying to shake off what Lincoln assumed to be a sensation similar to the unholy feeling of hitting your elbow and have all the nerves on your arm be set on fire, consuming the flesh and your sanity for a few seconds. "Lisa! Turn off whatever you're doing!"

No response.

"Lisa Marie Loud!" He roared, covering his fist with his sweater and bumping the door. "Open this door right now!"

Rita, carrying Lily, and the grandparents rushed in from the stairs, worried and asking what was going on. At the other end of the hall, the bathroom door opened and Lori and Lana, covered with towels, joined the crowd that had assembled in front of the little genius' room. Lynn Sr and Pop-Pop tried in vain to open the door, only to receive new electric discharges from the doorknob, each time more painful than the last. They kept knocking, yelling for the little girl to open up. From under the door, large flashes were visible, like great, fluctuating reflectors of light. Even with the noise of the rain and the chaos of more than a dozen worried voices, the electric buzz kept growing like a warm of insects surround Lincoln and his family.

After Pop-Pop tried to charge against it with his shoulder ahead, there was a digital beep, and then a heavy metal curtain fell in front of the door, silencing the buzz, extinguishing the filtered light, and effectively sealing the room.

"LISA!" Rita yelled, after giving Lily to Luan. "LISA GET OUT OF THERE!"

Lincoln, just like the rest of the family, had already gone from believing that this was just one of Lisa's usually annoying experiments to be actually scared and worried. Yeah, she usually created small explosions, and yes, sometimes she caused some blackouts because of her tests. But even in those situations, Lisa would explain to them why they should not worry, and she would on to tell them how important it was for human race to have the definitive answer of whether it was moral or not to eat eggs with ketchup. The fact that this time she wouldn't answer at all, that the experiment looked dangerous, that a metal curtain was keeping her family away… They weren't good signs.

His mind, with medically confirmed ADHD, quickly reviewed his last week with Lisa. He had barely talked with her outside of their daily check-ups. He realized that, aside from knowing that she had spent a couple of sleepless nights and that she had threatened a colleague through video chat, he didn't really know what was going on inside his little sister's mind. And of course, that revelation sprouted a new feeling of guilt within him, and with it, a sense of responsibility. If Lisa was doing something dangerous, it could be his fault for not being there to help her. And if that was the case, he would have to be the one to take actions on the matter. While the rest of his family had their attention set on the steel that concealed the door, he stealthily slithered past them and through the hallway.

The door wasn't the only way into Lisa's room.

He went into his two eldest sisters' room without anyone seeing him. He opened Leni's closet to borrow her rain boots and a raincoat that was very loose and a couple of sizes too big for him, which would end up being an advantage. After breathing deeply a couple of times to find the courage and not repent, he expeditiously approached the window, opening and jumping onto the roof.

He had experience going up there; he had even done so the night before with Lucy, but the rain added a new element of danger and complexity that he wasn't used to deal with. The wind was shaking him like a rag doll, and the soles of the boots seemed to try to do everything they could to slide on the smooth, wet surface of the tiles. However, his big brother instinct overpowered his lack of dexterity, and he soon travelled across the width of the house, stopping in front of the window to Lisa's room. If there was a powerful light coming from the crack under the door then the outside window was like looking into the incandescent core of the sun itself. A fulminating heat hit him right in the face when he landed in front of the frame, and for an instant, Lincoln feared losing his sight if he didn't close his eyes.

Looking away, he opened the window and fell into the room, his face hitting the dry, soft carpet. He stood up and blindly closed the window behind him.

"LISA! LISA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He shouted, trying to make himself heard above all the noise.

"BROTHER, WHAT…?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Said Lisa's agitated and squeaky voice, somewhere to his right.

He put his forearm over his eyes, shielding them from the intense light that bathed him.

"LISA, THIS LOOKS DANGEROUS! TURN IT OFF!" He yelled, staggering dangerously in the direction where he assumed his sister was.

"IT CAN'T BE STOPPED, FAMILY UNIT! STOPPING THE METABOLIC HYPERACCELERATION WOULD BE FATAL FOR THE TEST SUBJECTS! IT'S ALMOST OVER! WE NEED TO W-WAAAaaaAaaaAAAAAAIT!"

Hearing her mention "test subjects" had already worried him, but not even that compared to the scare he received when he felt the hairs on his arms frizzing up due to the electricity in the air and then his little sister yelling in, presumably, pain. Some computer or electronic device near him was throwing out sparks. Whatever was going on, Lincoln had to stop it.

He started to walk towards the origin of that noise, determined to start pressing all possible buttons until it stopped, but a furious "NO!" preceded the little girl charging into him and knocking him prone on the floor. He fell on his back, with his little sister sitting on his chest, holding him by his hands, yelling at him to stop. He wanted to delicately move her aside, but her head had hit him right in the stomach and he lost a few precious seconds trying to catch his breath.

Apparently, she wasn't kidding when she said that whatever she was working on was about to end. The electricity buzz and all the digital sounds were in crescendo, and the light grew stronger and stronger. It looked like the entire room was going to blow up, and Lincoln instinctively broke free from Lisa's grip and he clung her to himself, trying to protect her in case this whole thing ended up horribly wrong. The buzzing sound continued to grow, it became unbearable, the windows were shaking, the light consumed it all…

And then, silence and darkness.

It wasn't a gradual descent of intensity in the sensorial overload he was experiencing. From one moment to the other, it was over. No explosion. It took Lincoln a second to understand that he was safe and sound. The raindrops crashing with the roof and the window began to register in his ear, and he let out a very anxious sigh.

Still stunned, it took him a while to react to Lisa breaking free from his grip and running towards her machines. He blinked a couple of times, his eyes focusing on the ceiling. It wasn't as dark as he thought. The soft light of a couple of desk lamps illuminated the room, although it was nothing like the pulsing nova that had just extinguished. Carefully, he stood up, rubbing his eyes and removing the uncomfortable raincoat.

His sister was wearing her white lab coat, big pale green rubber gloves, and completely dark goggles. Her hair, usually disheveled, it was now an awful mess, fizzing up in all directions. She was standing next to what looked like a large fish tank with dozens and dozens of cables of all sizes and colors, connected to different electric generators that were now smoking, with burn marks around the outlets and plugs. One of the devices on top of the glass box had some sort of inverted antenna with a metallic sphere at its end, from which there were still tiny electric arcs emanating.

The echo of new knocks on the metal door went unnoticed as Lincoln walked near his sister, who remained still in front of the glass, quietly, not even looking at him.

"Lisa? You okay? What were you-? Oh, God!"

His heart and stomach were revolted to see the grotesque image behind the glass. Lying on the ground, motionless or giving uncomfortable and wobbly steps before falling inert to the ground, more than a dozen mice covered the base of the glazed prism. They had different color tags on their ears with numbers going as high -at least to what Lincoln saw in a quick glance- fifteen. Some were still crawling with the last of their strength, or twisted their legs and tail in small spasms, but most of them… most…

He could only hope that Lana would never hear about this.

"What is this?" He asked out loud, making his best effort not to throw up.

No answer.

"Lisa, what's going on? Are you okay? Why did you… Why did you kill these mice?" She muttered something intelligible. "What was that?"

She took off her protective goggles.

"They're… they're test subjects," she said, clearing her throat to make her voice sound clear. "And… I don't… I. T-They shouldn't… They should be healed."

"Healed? Why…? What did you do?"

Silence. Lisa's right hand rested on the glass.

"What did you do to them?" He repeated, stepping closer.

"I made them sick."

"What?"

"I… I implanted them your disease," she admitted, her eyes following the last movements of one of the animals.

"What?! Oh my God, Lisa! How…?! How could you...?! That's horrible!"

If his accusing and disgusted tone of voice offended her, she didn't let it show. She stayed right where she was, with her tiny hand still placed on the glass, looking at the results of her experiment. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft, and Lincoln was surprised to hear it. It was… strange. Lisa always spoke with integrity and security, absolutely convinced that everything that came out of her mouth was irrefutably true. Her tone never left room for doubt. And now, for the first time in a long time, she sounded authentically confused, as if she was looking at a mirage.

"I created seventeen combinations of enzymes and immunological protein compounds that should fight your disease," she explained, slowly and monotonously. "I've studied all experiments ever done to find a cure for it. I consulted with the best doctors and researchers in the world. I put… I tested theories not yet confirmed, and tried some innovations of my own authorship. Each of the seventeen serums should theoretically work according to our current understanding of medicine. The computer simulations were hopeful. I only needed to accelerate the mice's metabolism to see who was cured first. To find the fastest, safest antidote. I don't… I… I don't understand. I don't."

A horrible sensation spread through Lincoln's heart, filling his body with a cold feeling that, like small ice stakes piercing his insides, making him shake. Whether it was actual cold, terror, despair, or a combination of the three, he didn't know yet.

"But… what about the thing I've been drinking? I thought that… I mean, I know it's not the cure of the flu."

Lisa's sigh clouded the surface of the glass in front of her. The almost drowned sound of voices and banging on the steel door didn't distract them.

"Your instincts weren't wrong. No. It was not the cure for the common flu. I lied to you when I announced the presence of the virus in an incubation state within your blood system."

"And what did you give me, then?"

"A synthesized hormone compound based on your specific physiology, theoretically able to regularize your body's processes of homeostasis."

"In English?"

He waited for her to snort, complaint or even make a sarcastic comment about his reduced ability to understand scientific talk, but Lisa still sounded stunned, as if her mind wasn't really into the conversation at hand.

"Equilibrate your body. Try to prevent the disease from progressing. Earn time, as minimum as it could be. Time to… time to complete this. The cure you need. It should be here, I should see it, but…" The young girl turned around, and her pale and usually blank expression was now tinged with doubt. "I don't understand these results. According to my calculations, this should be a success. What went wrong?"

The little bit of hope that he himself refused to admit that still existed inside him was consumed, disappearing and leaving a cold void behind it. He had never allowed himself to stop and actually consider the possibility that Lisa might save him, but somehow, someway, hope had found a way into his heart. To see this last shard of hope shatter and disappear into the dark was as painful as it was unexpected.

He tried to find the words, but ideas were clashing inside his mind, and he couldn't make a coherent phrase.

"Well, at least you tried," he said, trying to offer some comfort to his sister.

He would have never fathomed the reaction that his words would cause. He didn't foresee her open mouth, her surprised flicker, her clenched fists, her furrowing brow, her little body becoming a tiny tornado.

"Do not patronize me, family unit!" She seethed. "'At least you tried'?! What sort of conformist thinking is that?! There was evidently a failure in the experiment! My metabolic hyperacceleration machine must have been poorly calibrated, causing the demise of test subjects A-P! It is only necessary thus to wait a couple of days to synthesize a new line of serum vials and apply them test subjects Q-Hbeta! I-I just need to recalibrate my actives to fix any variable that may have compromised the tests!"

Lincoln felt slightly intimidated by his sister's sudden mood swing.

"Lisa... you can't keep killing animals."

"They will not die, for I will not make mistakes again! The new test subjects will recover as planned, I will select among them the most efficient cure, and we shall initiate the treatment immediately to guarantee your prompt and satisfactory recovery!"

"Do you…? Hey, listen to me. Do you really think there was an error in the experiment? Or maybe… or maybe it's that you couldn't find a cure?

"Nonsense! My serums attack all variables known and supported by medicinal science! I tried all logical combinations! The cure MUST be here!"

"Or maybe it doesn't exist," he said, making an enormous effort not to lower his head and cry. "Lisa, the doctors said there was no cure. There's nothing to do…"

"They're not me, family unit! I'm Lisa Loud, the youngest person to ever graduate with a doctoral thesis!"

"But you're still human," he intervened, ducking to be at her height, placing both shaking hands on her shoulders. "Lisa, you're crazy smart, but not all the problems in life have a solution."

"They must have! It wouldn't be fair otherwise!"

"Life isn't fair either..."

"Why are you giving up?!" She yelled, spitting all over his face. "Don't you trust me?! I m-must have made a mistake! I can still cure you! Why are you trying to dissuade me?! Do you not realize I'm trying to save you?!"

"I know! Of course, I know! And nobody wants to believe that there's a cure more than me! But you tried, and it didn't work! I don't want you to lose yourself on a crazy dream to save me!"

"My health is irrelevant here!"

"Not to me!" He yelled, giving her a little shake. His emotions finally overwhelmed him, and after an afternoon where he thought he had cried all the tears out from his body, he was once again proved wrong. "It's been over a week from the two that the doctors gave me, and you've barely gotten out of your lab to be with me! I'm going to die without us spending any time together! The only thing that I have left to live for is to spend time with you guys, but we've barely talked these days. And… And it's also my fault, okay? I guess part of me was hoping that you would find a cure… But we've ran out of time. I don't know how much I have left, but I want to make the best out of it. Please, we're not going to have another chance of being together. Don't let these moments pass."

Lisa shook her head from side to side, so sudden and rough that Lincoln feared her glasses would fall from her eyes. Her tiny hands went up to her hair, pulling her disheveled bangs.