If only.

Jesse's POV

The constant ringing of my phone woke me up from my sleep.

I opened my eyes and realized I actually slept on the couch on Christmas day.

I hissed and picked up the call without checking who the caller was.

"Hello ". I spoke in a sleepy voice 

"Merry Christmas Jesse".he spoke up, 

I remove my phone and checked who the caller was and realized it was Daniel.

"Merry Christmas to you, Daniel" I murmured in a sleepy voice.

"Are you are asleep".he asked in disbelief.

I hissed softly and stood up from the couch, 

"Yeah". I murmured.

"Is everything okay ?".he asked with so much care in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just tired from the fire burn night ". I murmured.

"You were there ".he asked in disbelief.

"Yeah"

"I was there, but I didn't see you ".

"Oh that? I went home early, I was having a strong headache". I whispered 

"Are you okay now"

"Yeah I'm fine ". I murmured and sat on my bed.

"Sorry I didn't call earlier, I was at work, I just finished working and thought I should call you ".he spoke in a tired voice.

"You've been working on Christmas day ". I asked 

"Yeah, I just need to sort out some things, but I'm done, and I'm coming back to town ".

"Alright, safe journey back home ". I murmured, 

He kept quiet for a while before speaking up 

"Who is there with you ".he asked 

"No one ". I murmured.

"Should I come and keep you company?".he said those words, almost like a pled.

"That won't be necessary, I will see you at dinner ".

"Alright, I just don't want you to feel lonely".he expressed those words like he meant it.

I chuckled softly before speaking up, 

"Don't you worry, I'm fine ". I lied.

He hissed before speaking up 

"Alright then I'll pick you up by 6pm "

"Sure I'll be waiting "

"Bye Jesse and have a merry day ahead "

"You too ". I murmured and put off the phone.

I hissed and lay on the bed with my back.

I stared at the ceiling and imagined what my life would have been if I had accepted to marry one of the young men that asked for my hand in marriage.

Maybe by now my house would have been filled with laughter of I and my husband and the kids and probably relatives from my husband.

Maybe I would have been in the kitchen preparing dishes for the guest we would be expecting. or I might be dressing up the kids to visit a relative of their father, or I might be seating around the big Christmas tree with my family, unpacking gifts.

All these would have been a wonderful experience, but here I am all alone staring at the empty ceiling.

If only I was wise enough to let go of this childish love maybe just maybe I would be celebrating this Christmas with a lot of people but here I am all alone in a remote town and a small apartment all by myself.

I chuckled in pain and wipe off the tears drop that fell on my cheek.

I took in a deep breath and stood up from the bed.

I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge, there was nothing apart from fruits and few carrots.

I hissed in frustration and left the kitchen, I went back to my room and lazily lay on the bed.

I check the wall clock and noticed it was just pass 11 am and I should be in Mrs Sonia's house by 1pm.

I turn around the bed thinking of what to do, so I could spend some time, but nothing came to my mind.

I was still in thought when a knock came to my door.

I hissed and stood up from the bed, I left the room and walk up to the door, I opened the door and saw Kathy and her mom smiling at me.

"Merry Christmas miss Jesse"

"Merry Christmas my dear Kathy". I squat and kissed her on the cheek.

"Please come in ". I moved aside so they could go in.

"Sorry, we didn't tell you we were coming ".her mom apologized.

"It's okay, please sit". I showed them the couch, 

"Thank you ".both sat on the couch.

"What should I get you ".

"Nothing, we won't stay long ". I hissed in relief when I heard those words from Mrs Sandra  because actually, I have nothing at home.

"Alright ". I sat on the couch opposite them.

"Kathy brought a gift for you ". Mrs Sandra spoke up, 

Kathy giggled happily and brought out a wrapped gift from her bag.

"Here is your gift, miss Jesse".she handed the gift to me.

"Thank you and I also have a gift for you, give me a minute".

I stood up from the couch and went to the Christmas tree, I pick up a gift that has Kathy's name on it and went back to the sitting room.

"Have this ". I handed the gift to her.

"Thanks miss".she took the gift from my hand with a big smile on her face.

"Thanks so much, Jesse, we will definitely miss you ". Mrs Sandra stood up from the couch and flash me a big smile.

"I will miss you, miss Jesse". Kathy moved closer to me and gave me a tight hug.

"I will also miss you, but I promise to come from time to time ". I assured her.

"Promise ?" She asked 

"Promise"

She smiled at me before walking towards the door with her mom.

"Goodbye miss Jesse".she smiled at me while waving her hands at me.

"Bye Kathy". I waved back at her and closed the door.

I smiled to myself and went back to my room, I was About laying on my bed when another knock came on my door.

I hissed softly and went back to the door.

I opened it and saw that it was another student of mine visiting me with a big gift in her hand.

"Come in ". I stood aside and let them it.

Before it got to 1pm, I received up to ten guests who put smiles on my faces.

"Bye ". I closed the door at the last person who visited.

I walk up to my room and lay on the bed with a big smile on my face.

"I wasn't lonely after all". I smiled to myself.