Reincarnated in Touhou with the Trolling system

----------------------------------------------------------------------

(y/n) = your name - at chapter 4 the community voted on a name so you wont need to deal with this wattpad type shit for long

(l/n) = last name

(a/n) = author, oh that me (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

"what's that?" = speech

'what's that?' = thinking

you know the what all this means so don't make me type this all (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I adjust my self on my shining golden throne on top of the highest peak of the world and let out a massive sigh due to my growing exhaustion and boredom

*sigh*

-

author here, these first 2 chapters are bad, it gets better after chapter four, 3 being ok'ish

when I get more chapters out I might edit these first chapters to be acceptable

btw we loss the "y/n" thing very soon

-

"IM SO FUCKING BOREEEEEEEEEEEED"

My shout, no not even a shout, my DIVINE soundwave created with my superhuman lungs shakes the very mountain i stand on causing panic through all of this world.

Random Civilian: "AHHH ITS AN EARTHQUAKE"

Random Civilian 2 : "AHHH FUCK, WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE"

Random Civilian 3: "WE DONT EVEN HAVE TECTONIC PLATES HERE"

[10 TrollPoints gained From panicking civilian]

[1000 TrollPoints gained from mass panic]

[10,000 TrollPoints gained from Panicking Subterranean Dwarves]

[10 billion TrollPoints gained from Panicking Dragon God]

(a/n): whoopsies when a little too far ahead ¯\_( ◉ 3 ◉ )_/¯ lets rewind a little bit

----------------

POV: (y/n)

----------------

(y/n) : "hehehehe, after 1 whole year my masterpiece is finally done"

I look at the trending tweets on twitter with a passion in my eyes and also heavily panting at this large scale troll I have done, this reminds me of the time I leaked extremally classified documents in the pentagon online for the whole world to see, and I may of gotten a little bounty and name for my self.

people online call me "Dumbass troll", that's a pretty epic nickname if I do say so myself, and I do. oh and the bounty in my head is around, hmmmm... 10 million. though this troll that I have just done may of put me on the sight of every world government there is.

I maybe sorta... made false evidence for all countries leaders to be "Child fans" if you know what i mean, and I really faked it really goddamn well since there is nearly 10 million tweets about this and Moist critical had already made a 20 minute video about the leaks.

"Its not even been 5 minutes since I even did this?!?!, whatever I will go on a walk and return back to my masterpiece, my legs need some stretching plus I need to touch some grass as its been around 19 years since I've done that."

I leave my room for what feels like a annual occasion to get pot noodle, I open my wooden door and go through the hallway to get to the front door and open a small basket of shoes.

"Huh there is only Size three shoes? damn it has been a while since I have left, whatever I can just wear socks nobody will notice anyway"

In the corner of my eye I notice that a park has been constructed since my 19 year hibernation 'I think there would be a good place to go rest a bit, i just have to cross this road'

*HONNNNNK*

*I turn my head to the loud blaring sound*

"GAHH WHAT THE FU--"

*splat*

'my head hurts so fucking much' I look to the truck that just ran me over and listen to the sound of ambulances in the distance, 'damn I'm really gonna die like this and I don't even get to see the end result of my troll' I try to chuckle but the ribs that punctured my lungs stop me from even breathing

"Karma is a bitch"

----------------------------------------------------------------

POV: Blender_Person, (oh damn its me, the author ⚆ᗝ⚆)

----------------------------------------------------------------

Blender: "Uhhhh picking a person to make a fanfic around is so tedious"

My minimum wage servant called Jeff thinks deeply about my problem and after coming up with a solution clears his throat

Jeff: "My lord, have you tried the "self insert" genre, it would be very easy to pick up a soul and drop it in some random fantasy world. Oh and make sure the main character can relate to the audience."

Blender: "uhhhh... are we allowed to do that to some random soul?"

Jeff: "No"

Blender: "..."

Blender: "Im in"

------------

Pov: (y/n)

-------------

y/n: "Ahh my whole body hurts so much, when will i finna-"

[User is noticed by 'The Creator']

['The Creator' finds the users Situation to be extremally funny]

y/n: "so I'm hallucinating in my final moments"

*scoff*

y/n: "I really am fucked"

[User is given a second chance and will be given a system related to the User's first life and a second chance at life, do you accept]

[Yes/No]

I look at the blue holographic screen in front of me while being unable to move a muscle due to the extreme blunt force trauma that truck gave me

"I cant even click yes if I wanted to, you cunt"

[Users health condition is taken to account]

[deciding if offer will be accepted based on hosts memories]

[Scanning...]

[5%]

[67%]

[100%]

[Congrats user you have been given a second chance at life]

"why cant i just die already, its so goddamn painful and this annoying fucking hallucination is not doing any better"

[Since host is unable to select options a world will be randomly picked along with a power based on past memories]

The searing, mind-numbing pain instantly stopped and I found myself in a black void with stars and planets scattered along in beautiful arrays of light

"what the fuck, where am i?, wait was that shitty hallucination actually real?"

[ The User is correct, the transport system is real and we are about to start the transport service in 3 seconds]

"huh wait what, I'm getting isekaied?!?!?"

"FUCK YEAH"

'most normal people would think about there family, but mine abandoned me just because I wanted to stay inside for my whole life and prank people on the internet, they said such HORRIBLE things like "get a job" and "What colour grass is", forcing me to get a job and doing some impossible quiz like that is why I wont regret leaving them behind'

[beginning transport to randomly selected world]

"huh which one is i-"

I was immediately cut off as i was dragged at an extremally fast speed, so fast in fact that I saw planets go right past my face.

"are the planets here normal? I think that one was just a skull?"

"and that on is just the letter J with "DaoistJXYJcm" etched into it"

[beginning faster than light travel]

"huh ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ"

I Immediately felt a insurmountable pressure growing with the non comprehendible speed I am picking up, my whole being feels like it could shatter at any moment the sheer pressure emanating from we could create diamonds, no not even that BLACK HOLES that's how much pressure I am feeling.

[User, we have arrived to our destination]

as soon as that was said i feel all the speed and pressure vanish, along with my lunch a second after

"Gah that so so fucking horrible, why could you not of put me unconscious or something"

[ The User is unable to go to sleep in soul form]

y/n: (ಠ_ಠ)

???: "Oi yokai why are you here?"

I turn around and see a person with black or dark brownish hair, a red and white dress along with a red ribbon on her head

y/n 'is this supposed to me a Reimu cosplayer? actually it probably is reimu since this is a different world after all'

(btw 'example' is thinking and "example" is speech if you did not read that start of the novel)

Reimu: "I said why are you here yokai, I'm not afraid to exterminate you"

y/n: "whoa whoa whoa slow down, first of all I'm a human second of all where am i?"

Reimu: "Why are you wondering where you are you are obvio- wait a minute are you an outsider?"

y/n: 'it would be weird if i knew what an outsider was so ill just play along'

y/n: "what's an outsider?"

Reimu: "ah so you are an outsider, all right ill explain what an outsider is along with gensokyo"

-----------------

time skip since i trust my audience knows what touhou is, if not then why are you even reading?

------------------

y/n: "that explains why im here, am i ever able to go back to the outside world?"

Reimu: "yes we just need to get that gap hag over and open a gap for you"

y/n: "where is this gap hag?"

Reimu: "if she appears then i will notify you, do you wish to have some tea since we are right at my shrine"

y/n: "sounds good"

Reimu leads you to her shrine that was only 40 meters away and she goes into some room to prepare some tea

y/n: 'its about since I sit down its been quite exhausting from that space warp travel shit'

i sit down in the Japanese themed living room and relax in a chair while thinking about my predicament.

[User can activate the troll system if he desires]

"huh, why even ask? activate it already"

[Downloading Custom System and Removing Space Travel System]

[5%]

[67%]

[100%]

[Complete]

[Finalizing]

[Done]

[ Hello Host the troll system is fully downloaded ]