Chapter 67: Morality?

[CONTENT WARNING: The following scene contains gore and disturbing content.]

A deep frown was etched into Xiao Hong's eyebrows as she looked down at the chained Demonic Cultivator twitching in place, muttering hoarsely, 'No more, no more, no more…'

"Cough! Cough! Cough!!" Bloody, violent coughs racked his body. Bits of flesh and viscera were explosively expelled from his mouth and nose.

"Hah, hah, hah…" Rasping gasps tore through the air as a twisted visage rose into view.

Skin, once taut, now resembled molten wax clinging precariously to the bone. Beneath, raw flesh pulsated, glistening morbidly in the dim light. A gaping socket where his right eye should have been - having molten right out of his head at some point. His remaining bloodshot eye bulged with pure terror as it turned towards Xiao Hong. 

His gruesome, lipless mouth opened to express a desperate plea, a silent scream for mercy that died on his lips. His eye rolled back into his head and his body slumped, his chin hitting his chest.

A sigh of relief reverberated through the air as his breaths, already laborious, started to weaken slowly until it faded completely.

His Life Aura disappeared completely.

The remaining eyeball fell out of his head and splatted onto the ground like egg yolk. A flood of crimson mixed with white and grey followed, spraying onto the floor like a waterfall of gore. 

The blood flowed along the engraved lines of the Runic Formation, sizzling slightly because of the heat produced when it channelled tremendous amounts of Essence and Energy through itself.

Xiao Hong's hand shook as she raised it to her mouth and gulped harshly, trying to swallow down the bile that had risen to her throat. 

She took a step back and gulped again. She gritted her teeth, turned around and left.

***

"What am I doing…?" Xiao Hong lay on a recliner in her courtyard, staring up at the blue sky, thinking back to her failed experiment.

She was not scared when it came to taking lives, nor was she scared of gore - she had witnessed plenty in her battles. Having become an Immortal Cultivator, she had taken more than a few lives. Even if it was only to defend herself, she had taken lives. It was part of the parcel.

So, she did not blame herself. Ever since she had transmigrated to this world, she had understood that it was kill or be killed. And the bloody and brutal fights she had gone through drove home that point plenty well. 

So, she had already come to terms with it - she had taken lives and would continue to take lives, regardless of whether they were good or evil.

Xiao Hong knew that she had sealed the fate of the Demonic Cultivators the moment she had requested to use them as test subjects for her experiments. They deserved to die anyway, having taken the lives of so many of her fellow disciples.

But this… this was beyond just taking a life. To her, it felt like pure cruelty.

She had, in essence, tortured someone helpless to defend himself to the point he begged for the sweet release of death. It didn't matter that he was a Demonic Cultivator who would likely do worse if their positions switched. It didn't matter that if she didn't do this and succeed in her experiments, she might end up in a position that was just as bad - if not worse than the one she had put that Demonic Cultivator in. 

The Demonic Cultivator's screams of agony, the sight of his very flesh melting off his skeleton, his desperate pleading, the sheer terror in his eyes and the sigh of relief just before he breathed his last haunted her like the ghost of her dead morality.

Xiao Hong closed her eyes. She felt lost all of a sudden. On one hand, were the last remnants of her morality, on the other, was her survival. She had to choose between one or the other. 

Her eyes opened again. A bitter smile sketched itself out on her face, "Is that even a choice?"

After a long time, she sighed and was about to go back inside her house when her Divine Sense jolted. 

"Who's it?" Despite feeling reluctant to meet anybody at this time, she still got up and went to the door of her courtyard.

"Senior Brother Yu?" Xiao Hong was surprised upon seeing her guest. "Come on in." She gestured towards a table in her courtyard.

Chen Yu chuckled somewhat awkwardly as he took a seat, "Junior Sister Xiao, you forgot to come to the Alchemist Hall today for the planned discussion." 

Xiao Hong was confused for a moment before she suddenly remembered that Chen Yu had indeed invited her a month ago when he'd visited her along with the other disciples. 

"Oh! I'm very sorry, Senior Brother - it completely slipped my mind." She apologised sincerely. She knew that Chen Yu had gone out of his way to set up this meeting. Ever since the battle with the True Demon, the remaining Alchemists felt somewhat distant from her. It couldn't be helped - her achievements were too incredible, making it hard for them to associate with her as equals.

She had, back then, mentioned it to Chen Yu. And he had promised to do something about it.

So, Xiao Hong, feeling guilty she had let down Chen Yu, explained, "It's just that I have been facing some difficulties recently."

"Is everything alright, Junior Sister?" Chen Yu's eyebrows immediately scrunched up in concern. 

Xiao Hong opened her mouth before closing it. She did not know if she wanted to share her difficulties with Chen Yu. But as she stared at his genuinely concerned expression she made up her mind. 

She took a deep breath and began, "Actually, it's like this.

"Remember how I requested Senior Brother Gu Ran for the Demonic Cultivators?"

Chen Yu nodded silently.

"So I decided to test out a pill of my creation on one of them…" She decided not to talk about the Formation to cultivate beyond one's limit. She did not want to burden him with such knowledge since there was more at stake than just herself. Because if she really succeeded, she might have found a way to essentially increase a Cultivator's talent. Such knowledge would be coveted by a lot of people - especially Factions.

So, she simply explained how what she had put the Demonic Cultivator through affected her.

Chen Yu listened carefully.

"... I've essentially tortured another Human Being to death purely for my own benefit… And I'm not sure if what I'm doing is right."

Chen Yu looked at Xiao Hong strangely for quite a while before he spoke, "... You are too kind, Junior Sister."

The corner of Xiao Hong's left eye twitched in irritation. She almost rolled her eyes in exasperation, 'Again with this! I fucking slaughtered a dozen Demonic Cultivators just last month, alright?! How the fuck does someone draw the conclusion that I'm 'kind' from that?!'

Chen Yu noticed her expression.

"No, I'm being serious, Junior Sister." His voice was like steel, cold and hard. "We are Immortal Cultivators, not Buddhas. We are not saints playing at righteousness."

The contrast from his usually cheery demeanour left Xiao Hong stunned and unable to react for a while. "We're a bunch of predators, Junior Sister. Predators that carve out a bloody Path for ourselves, feasting on the flesh of our enemies, leaving behind nothing but gnawed bones."

Chen Yu paused for a bit before he turned to her, eyes devoid of their usual warmth. Voice still cold, he continued, "The character for 'Immortal' is the combination of the characters for 'Man' and 'Mountain'. And throughout the ages, there were many, many interpretations of the word. 

"Some interpretations say that it is an allusion to our high and mighty behaviour, our indifference towards mortals. An allusion to our aloof nature that seems to transcend everything mortal.

"Some believe it signifies our status as gods above all. Worthy of receiving the worship of thousands.

"Some consider it as the qualification to rule above others, deciding their fate as they please.

"And among so many interpretations, one stands out in particular. 

"This one likens the 'Mountain' to a mountain of flesh and blood. This train of thought believes that it is in our very essence to kill our enemies, extract every bit of value we can from their lifeless bodies and then use their shrivelled corpses, piled on top of each other to build a mountain to touch the Heavens.

"We, as Immortal Cultivators, loathe this interpretation. However, for such an interpretation to survive so long despite that…" Chen Yu stared at Xiao Hong meaningfully, "There is more than a little bit of truth to it."

He took a deep breath. "We aren't all bad, of course. We can love our friends and family with all our being - willing to burn away our very essence to protect them, to give them even the slightest sliver of hope. 

"We are also much better than Demonic Cultivators that would consider their very own family as prey.

"We can be kind to those below us, helping them rise. 

"We can do wonderful things, things that seem miraculous.

"But," His eyes glowed with a brilliant, yet cold light that sent a shiver down Xiao Hong's spine, "make no mistake, Junior Sister, we're cruel monsters to our enemies. We will rip their hearts out and happily feast on their remains, and then proceed to do the same to their loved ones - all without a single shred of remorse.

"Mercy may be a virtue among mortals. It is not among us Immortals"

He leaned forward and stared into her eyes, his voice harsh, "It is better you get rid of this mentality, Junior Sister, lest it bring calamity unto you - or worse, your loved ones."

Xiao Hong flinched. Chen Yu's words were like sharp knives that stabbed at her. They reminded her once again, rather harshly, that this was not Earth anymore. This was a world that worked based on the most primitive iteration of 'Survival of the Fittest' - Kill or be killed. Because of this, the moral compass of the people of this world was vastly different from Earth's people.

Qiao Guiying, Gu Ran, Bai Hao, Jun Meiling, and Chen Yu, all had a morality that was vastly different from her own. They simply did not treat their enemies as people at all - they were little more than resources that could be exploited casually and tossed aside when they no longer served a purpose.

She remained silent for a long while.

"I'll be back tomorrow, Junior Sister. Maybe we can have another discussion later on." Chen Yu said softly before turning to leave.

Xiao Hong only nodded absentmindedly.

She opened her eyes again. A feeling of helplessness washed over her being, and a whisper left her lips, "Do I really have to let go?" 

She did not want to let go of the last shred of herself from Earth. Even if life wasn't great for her back there, it doesn't mean she wasn't attached to it.

She looked up at the sky in a daze.