Discharge

"I really thought I could win him over this time but I just can't," I complained to Sam as I packed my things from the hospital room. Today was the day I could finally leave this fucking hell hole, and I prayed that I'd never be stuck in bed like that ever again. Honestly, I was glad Ashton had something important to take care of. I could walk around without him trying to find a new excuse to put me back in bed. I understood that he was worried that any stimulus would effect my health.....but isn't it just because he wanted to have sex with me?

I want it too, but my back literally hurts and I never want to lay down again!

"That's probably not how he sees it. He keeps bragging about how you made him a sweater to everyone who will listen," Sam assured me. "He even made it look so appealing to Soyoung that she started trying to sow."

"That's good, I bet you'll love it when she makes you something."

"I'm wearing something she made now," Sam proudly showed off a poorly made, lopsided sweater. It was definitely going to fall apart in a washing machine on its first wash. "She said she measured and cut and sowed everything herself."

"It's nice," I lied.

"That's what I told her too," he laughed. Oh, good thing he knew that it wasn't made very well. "Back to your thing."

"Oh. Well he buys me something every time I finish a sweater. It's always better than fabric, like he's trying to one up me." I showed him three new heavy solid gold necklace. "These weigh more than me!"

"Maybe he's researching what to get you. You know how worked up he gets when it comes to you."

"Naw, it's all Chip." I rolled my eyes. "That country shit he always goes on about is why he's so damn good at it. His dad taught him how to properly court someone, and Ashton learns well."

"You know him so well. Which part of him do you like most, his face or the hand that buys you gifts?"

"Hmmmm, I don't really know, just thinking about him makes me feel all mushy inside," I giggled.

"Wow, I hate this!" Sam giggled back.

"Stop joking!"

"I'm not. I get it, you guys love each other so much that you get gold chains." Sam looked really annoyed at me right now, but I ignored it deliberately. "Teach Soyoung how you do it when you have time. She's a little jealous."

"Why?"

"Ashton makes it seem like you guys are a better couple, so apparently we're in competition for best couple now. I blame your boyfriend for encouraging this."

"Wherever," I said brushing off the stupidity of that. "You know I don't care about that. I just want to give him a better present than he gave me, Sam."

"So how are you going to beat him this time?"

"Ugh! I'm not sure. Ashton is very quiet, his grades are hovering in upper mid-range, he's never late, he enjoys playing basketball and is good at passing, but is terrible at making hoops, but I can't afford lessons and I can't teach him sports. He hates socializing but wants friends.....there's no gift for any of that. It's not like I can teach him to socialize better," I sighed accepting that I would never win the war of the gifts.

"Personally.....I think Ashton wouldn't want much. All he seems to want is you seeing as your the only person he cares about," Sam said. "You should've seen him when I went to check up on him the other day. The guy smelled like shit and he could barely lift his head up."

"Was it that bad?"

"Duh! Dude, I don't think you comprehend just how much value you have to him. He's completely in love with you, Dan," Sam explained. "You have the power to destroy a grown man three times your size, talk about a femme fatale."

As I made the hospital bed, I started to think to distract myself from guilt. Ashton was airheaded, clumsy and slow to figure things out. And he sucks at video games more than me, he's consistently foolish, and gets really turned on by just being touched a little bit, and occasionally he's a beast. 

"I've lost for sure."

"What's he good at?" Sam asked.

"Manly stuff. Physical labor. Tending to animals."

"Hmmm....get him a lawn mower since he's such a farmhand," Sam rolled his eyes and closed up my suitcase. "I don't even know why you're thinking so hard about it. Just put a bow on yourself and call it a day so you can help me pick some things out for Soyoung."

"I can't put a bow on myself yet. I can't have sex yet."

"Christmas is in two weeks. You have a week left of bedrest right?" 

"I have a month of bedrest...I can have sex in a week," I sighed. I missed Ashton's touch so dearly that every kiss he gave me felt like he was teasing me into wanting him more. That or I was weak to everything that had to do with him. "It's too far away."

Curse my weak body and heightened libido.

"Really? Soyoung is insatiable!" Sam grinned triumphantly at me. "Looks like I'll be the one doing all the bragging for the next week. Are you mad? Lemme take a picture of your face to show her we're beating you guys."

"Fuck you." I flipped Sam off and breathed a sigh of relief as I walked from the hospital room. A force hit the back of my knees causing them to buckle and make me fall backwards. I closed my eyes expecting the cold hard floor but was surprised to find myself sitting in a wheelchair.

"Hospital rules, you gotta leave in the chair," Sam said from next to me. I wasn't sure who was pushing the chair they irked me as much as Sam did. "I think Ashton should be almost done with whatever it is he's doing. He should be contacting you pretty soon since he can't be here."

"Why do you know and I don't?"

"He's trying really hard not to stress you out in any way. He says you shouldn't be thinking about anything but getting better, so he's been blowing up my phone just so he could check up on you this entire time. Apparently I'm the only one he trusts to keep you company while he's gone."

"Ohhhh," this feels really good but annoying. I shouldn't become to comfortable with being pampered like this! Ashton really thinks of me more than I think of myself.

"Ugh, seriously?" Sam groaned as his phone buzzed. "Listen, Ashton is at your house with a surprise for you. He wants me to tell you so you don't get shocked."

And a surprise when I get home? I'm really looking forward to it. "Tell him I can't wait to see him!"

"Tell him yourself."

"But you're the messenger pigeon today," I teased. Sam just put a heavy coat that smelled like Ashton over me. "What the-"

"It's pretty cold outside, in case you forgot," Sam grumbled.

It was snowing. Although, that was a bit of an understatement. Gray clouds were spitting down snow like there hadn't been any in years, and I was scared that if I stepped out into it i would be drenched from head to toe in a second. Sam and I were standing underneath the balcony that hung over the exit of the hospital. 

It was cold, and it makes me miss Ashton.

When the valet returned with Sam's car, he tried to help me up but I rejected it. "I got it."

"Fine!" Sam threw his arms up in defeat. "But if you slip into a coma I'm not helping you and you have no sympathy."

"Don't be so dramatic." I mumbled from inside Ashton's oversized coat where I had now buried my head.

"It's highly probable." Sam crossed his arms.

"Highly improbable." The i answered. "These are perfectly made snow boots. Well... almost perfectly made." I added in haste. "They may be cheap but they're extremely durable for all types of weather."

"Resistance." Sam scoffed while making sure I got into the car alright. "Something you're proud of?"

"Oh, why does it matter?" I pouted when he got into the drivers seat. "What do you care about it?"

A small pause followed and Sam's voice softened. "Because I'm worried about you. It's not everyday that you hear a friend who you think is healthy, has a heart attack. On top of that, I was the last person to know about it."

"Sorry about that. I was grieving and such," I said.

"Stupid, aren't I your friend as well? What happened to us being best friends? Am I that unreliable?" He snapped.

"Oh, I just didn't want things to effect you as well," I turned away from him suddenly feeling my nausea swell. I opened my eyes and looked at Sam. "How many times have I told you about caring about nothing? I would've called you when I was better. I could feel my stomach start to turn as I became hyper aware of the cars movement. "Stop the car."

The car came to an abrupt halt on the small road it was travelling. I swung the passenger door open quickly and heaved my breakfast onto the grass verge below. Sam had already unbuckled himself and was at my side by the time the vomit stopped coming up. I pulled myself upright and wiped away the stray spit from my face.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he helped me climb back into my seat, ignoring my hands now visibly shaking. His face had paled considerably since I jumped out of the car and Sam's inner medic was starting to panic. "I really think we should get you something for this Dan." He said sternly.

"I'm fine, it's just carsickness," I sucked a small and apparently difficult breath in and out and gulped back the rising bile threatening to come up again. I accepted the bottle of water from Sam.

"Perhaps you should listen to me for once," Sam said.

"No." I took a sip of water before collapsing back into my seat. "Let's just go to my house. I want to see Ashton right away."

"You need rest," he said putting my window down and driving off again. I closed my eyes and took I'm the cold breeze. It felt blissful to feel it after a week of being inside with limited movement. 

"Turn off the heat, you'll waste gas," I mumbled.

"It's ok, I have enough gas money. I can't just let you freeze in my care. Ashton will kill me if I did that. On top of that, it's fucking cold outside." Sam grumbled back.

"You need some chilly air to cool down that attitude."

"You need a hospital and I'm about to put you there," he threatened. He turned to glare at me and I glared back at him before we both spontaneously burst into a fit of laughter. "The color came back to me your face so I'm going to put the window back up. We should be at your house in thirty minutes."

"Thirty?"

"We're at the uptown hospital and I'm not taking the highway at this time." It was around the time the highway started to back up. I relaxed into my chair and drifted off at some point.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dream~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How could you be so stupid?" My father told me as we drove home from the hospital in his shitty car. "I can't believe you would even think of doing anything like this! What the fuck were you thinking?!"

He had just picked up me up from the emergency room after someone, Vincenzo, had spiked my drink. Vincenzo had come to the hospital with me and told my dad that I had been rushed to here because of a drink and he drove over there. The doctors told him that I might suffer from some extreme discomfort after the reaction I had. The doctors also recommended that I stay a few days at the hospital but my dad was having nothing of it and dragged me out the building in anger.

"Do you know how much it's going to cost us to pay for that damn hospital bill?" My dad shouted staring angrily down the road. He looked absolutely terrified, but just as mad. "I have to take up more shifts at work because of this!"

The twelve year old me wasn't saying anything back however, I never did in situations like this when Vincenzo got me into trouble. I usually just balled myself up and tried to ignore the harsh words being thrown at me, like i was now.

I was looking out my window, watching as the town went by, as I tried to fight off the tears trying to escape from inside me. 

Vincenzo, who was sitting right next me satisfied that he was able to make get me yelled at, didn't say anything in response to my father's words. He wasn't going to clear it up in any way. This was the new usual occurrence that I wasn't sure about. Vincenzo had drastically changed and took pleasure in targeting me.

"No, you don't care," My dad continued to rant as he drove wildly through the streets, "You never fucking care about anything anymore! I don't even know what's wrong with you now! All you want to do is go out and play with your little friends."

My dad didn't stop ranting and raving until we had arrived at our house where he was still as angry as before, but just out of words. I kept quiet, because if I had said anything, I was petrified of my dad suddenly starting to hate me as well just like everyone else was starting to do.

If Vincenzo could flip, why shouldn't my dad be able to?

As I silently got out of the car and into my house i started to feel very lonely for the first time in my life. No one was saying anything to me regarding what happened. Even when Vincenzo and I got to hospital he didn't ask if i was okay or if i needed help getting in the car or if i was still hurting. All my dad could stress about was how much this was going to cost them and Vincenzo didn't do anything but glare at me like I was a piece of shit stuck to his shoes.

I was just anxious because it felt like my dad hated me.

I knew that my dad wasn't exactly normal, even though I was fairly naïve I wasn't stupid, but i didn't think that they never actually cared about me. Even without an I love you every single day I always thought that the words were still the air. Despite all their issues I really thought he would care about me, but maybe I had been wrong.

Then when I finally made it to my room, I realized had been walking pretty slowly seeing that I felt a strike of pain on my head every time i took a step, Vincenzo had also followed me into my room.

"What are you doing?" I asked softly coming more into my room.

Vincenzo was rummaging through my things like they belonged to him, throwing some items in a large plastic bag, and throwing others around aimlessly. I was panicking as I saw him throwing away some of my most cherished possessions, even more so because I didn't even have that much to cherish, but what really caught his attention was a certain music box that Vincenzo held.

"Stop," I protested running forward and accidently tackling him. I didn't do it to collide with him but it gave me the opportunity to get back his box. "This is mine," I said bravely clenching the box in his hands tightly in my hands. 

Vincenzo shot me a blank stare that looked like it could freeze time. Wordlessly he went over, threw me to the ground, and snatched the box from me.

"Pathetic," I could hear see him say from my place curled up on the floor, "You drink a little bit one time and you're on the ground crying? After embarrassing me like you did in front of everyone?"

"That's not true! I didn't know what would happen! I don't even know how my drink got spiked-"

"Shut up," Vincenzo hissed kicking me in the ribs, and away from him. "I'm sick your cutesy little kid act, you're not a little kid anymore, at least in this neighborhood. Don't think I won't tell everyone about what you did."

I just stayed silent taking in his words.

"You wanted everyone to feel bad for you?" Vincenzo said in a mocking voice, "you want to be cuddled and tucked into bed? Well tough shit kid! You're not getting that here, you have to learn to take care of yourself, and love only yourself because you're the only one that matters to you. If you hadn't noticed, everyone hates you, even your dad is starting to hate you! You're lucky I'm even giving you the time of day!"

Vincenzo grabbed his big plastic bag and the music box and walked out of my room, but before he left he gave me some parting words.

"If you wanting something done, do it your damn self because you're the only one you can depend on. But you're so weak I bet even your dad will abandon you too. I bet he already regrets being stuck with a weak embarrassment like you," he smashed the music box on the ground and stepped on it so there was no hope of restoration. "Just do everyone a favor and die already."

"Dan!" I heard someone start calling me from outside of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END DREAM~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dan!" I opened my eyes to see Sam shaking me. "We made it."

"Oh," I exhaled realizing that I was holding my breath. It had been so long since I had a dream about Vincenzo bullying me, but I still dreamed about that first big incident between us. I knew my dad still loved me back then, but at the time, Vincenzo's word held so much weight and I was so shocked at the sudden switch up, that I really believed him. I toughened up my personality to match Uncle Mickeys, just because I was afraid of my dad abandoning me because I was too weak.

That music box wasn't the first thing of mine that he destroyed, but I still loved that thing as it helped me feel safe sleeping. It was my comfort as i found myself starting to be alone more, and Vincenzo destroyed it because he knew I loved it so much. I wasn't even sure what to do back then, because I could only focus on trying to make him happy.

Looking back, I should've gotten away from him then and had my dad send me to Kensington Prep like he offered. But, then again, if I had went there, I would've never met Ashton.

"You ok?" Sam asked.

"I'm fine. Just hyped to see him." I looked at Ashton's car parked in the driveway.

"Your boyfriend is a total Yandere, just so you know. He's knows how to respect boundaries and I think he really loves you, but he's a Yandere no less," Sam said.

"I get how it could seem that way, but Ashton doesn't have...." I thought about the progression of our relationship. Ashton was indeed clingy and fawned over me every second he could, but he never got violent, he never forcefully confined me or manipulated me into any bad situations so he could save the day. But I know someone who has. "He has the tendencies, but he's too healthy of a person to be completely that way. As long as I'm with him, he'll be fine."

"You sure you want to be?"

"There's no question about it. If I lose him, I'll be the one to go crazy," I confessed. "I need him and he needs me, so I don't see a problem."

"Codependency isn't a healthy thing."

"If needed I can live without him and he can live without me, it'll just hurt for a very long time. But we're both aware that life goes on, Sam. We'd both get over it eventually."

Sam let out a frustrated breath. "I guess Ashton is too much of a good guy to actually do the things Soyoung told me about. But you would know the type better than I do since you guys read the same kind of comics."

"What is she reading now?"

"Killing Stalking." Sam said. "I couldn't stop reading it after a few chapters myself and it scared the shit out of me."

"Listen, Sangwoo is nothing like Ashton and I'm nothing like Yoonbum! And that isn't a romance! It's a psychological thriller! It's just marketed as a BL because there's guy on guy action," I explained. "If anyone is a Yandere, it's Vincenzo."

"Then what's Ashton?"

"A yellow lab," I said without thinking. "He's my super loyal puppy."

Sam turned his lip in disgust and opened his door. "You guys are both fucked in the head."

"Hey, don't talk about my baby! He's a great guy and I know if that if you just spend some time with him you'll grow to like him." I followed him outside.

"How do you think I got to this line of questioning, idiot?"

"Are you sure you didn't cheat on your exams? You're not as good at reading people as I thought," I opened the door to my house, not surprised that it was unlocked. I was surprised when I walked in to find only some candles on and the curtains drawn. Except they weren't the normal candles dad let stashed for blackouts, these smelled like roses or something similar. I think Ashton was wearing a suit. I made out a glass vase on his table with flowers arranged in it. From what I could make out they were the orange jasmine I told him I liked, and what looked to be Narcissi but it was too dim for me to see much. Frustrated with the eye strain, I turned the lamp on but a sheet was thrown on top of it immediately, keeping the room dim.

"Leave it like this. I've got a surprise for you," Ashton murmured from behind me. He sounded very nervous. Interesting. Adorable. 

I just wanted a kiss already!

"Why? What's the special occasion? Our anniversary isn't anytime soon and Christmas is still two weeks away, what's all this about?" I curiously asked. I liked Ashton doing romantic things for me but he never did this sort of thing before. Chocolates on the beach, having sex on a bed of rose petals, a dinner at expensive restaurants when we were allowed out; yes, Ashton did all those things, but not this. What was going on? "Are we sacrificing Sam or something?"

"What the fuck?!" Sam snapped.

"My dad said it was a rich people practice to sacrifice people and bathe in their blood," I teased.

"No! Lovebug, sit down on the couch please."

Starting to get suspicious I moved to the couch and looked at Ashton expectantly, but not before peeking around the room to see if there were any clues as to what my blond lover was up to. 

I don't want to be the one sacrificed.

"Oh shit," Ashton sucked in a deep breath, "This is it!"

He shuffled forward awkwardly and got on one knee in front of me, his dimly lit face glowing a flaming red.

"Ash, why are you on the floor?"

"Um, Lovebug, I really wanted to ask, no I mean I was hoping that you would maybe, no I mean would you do me the – "

"Ash, you're stuttering. Take a breath."

"Right. Okay. Um well, Danny, I've thought over everything that happened and how much I've really come to care for you and, well, I don't want anyone else to have a chance with you. Do you think....maybe? Would you maybe like to...." He mumbled too low for me to hear the end of his sentence.

"Ash, Love, that didn't make any sense. Would you mind speaking up a bit?" I stated innocently. I beamed at Ashton causing him to cutely blush. Yes, I have a fair idea where this is heading, and it makes me incredibly happy.

"Okay, I can do this," Ashton awkwardly hyped himself up, "It's just a question. Well I know how much you like the franchise....and-"

"For fucks sake! Spit it out!"

"Will you marry me?!" Ashton asked as he pulled a round ball that resembled the golden snitch from Harry Potter out of his pocket presenting it on an open palm. Oh god, he remembers my favorite book series and he made his proposal Harry Potter themed.

I love it!

I squinted to see what was written on the snitch. I barely made out the four words Ashton had just told me, elaborately engraved onto the snitch, before he opened it and revealed a shiny silver wedding band. I gaped at the snitch before looking into Ashton's embarrassed face.

"Ashton, are you going to put that on me or do I have to do it myself?" I asked. He looked up at me in relief, as if he expected me to say something else. "Yes, that's a yes. Don't look so surprised."As he slid the silver band onto my finger. "I love you."

"I love you too," Lips brushed across my temple as Ashton sat down on the couch beside him. "Does the prospect of marrying me make you this frightened that you have to cry?"

"No...it has just been a long day and shit, but I can blame it on you for being so sweet," I smiled.

"Well, lucky I have finished my work for now. I have other duties to attend to." I shivered as his bright blue eyes passed over my body. It felt good to be wanted.

"Oh, such as?"

"Making sure that you are well looked after...." Ashton punctured every word with a kiss to my neck and I closed my eyes, relaxing into the arms that held me. Ashton sucked on that particular spot that I liked making me shiver.

"No sex," someone said from the other side of the room bringing Ashton and I back into reality. Sam started to blow out candles and took the sheet off of the lamp illuminating the room revealing that Ashton was indeed wearing a nice expensive looking suit. "Doctors orders."

Ashton mumbled something in the crook of my neck before pulling back. "I forgot you were there, Sam."

"Yeah, whatever. I witnessed your proper proposal. I'll pick you up in two days so you can help me shop for Soyoung, Dan. Enjoy your sexless night!" Sam chuckled while seeing himself out.

"We can still make out," I offered.

"Baby, kissing and touching is like a slow walk, while oral sex and masturbation is akin to walking at a regular pace."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What Sam doesn't know is that you're a low risk patient. Do you have shortness of breath or fatigue?" He asked. After getting out of Sam's car, I stopped feeling sick and I just took a nap so I shook my head. "On the day after the heart attack, low risk patients can touch and kiss. A few days later you can have oral sex, after a week you can start masturbating and have intercourse."

"You said a week," I reminded him.

"There's no reason for that. Heart patients are usually weak and depressed and high risk patients even more so," I flashed back to this morning when the doctor had run several tests on me. I guess Ashton had the report. "I do have the report from your doctor, and he says you're in the clear. But if you feel you have any chest pain or shortness of breath, tell me right away."

Now we're talking. "You look hot in your suit, husband." He slicked his hair back as well for this. I grabbed him by his tie and pressed our lips together. His kisses, soft and sweet to that point, became hard and insistent again. 

"I'll ease you into it," he promised me. "Now, shut up and let me eat you up. By the way, you should call me husband more."

Barely a thought passed through my mind upon hearing such a request, as I urgently flung my weight forward and slammed our lips together, already feeling my hazed happiness heightening a hundred fold from finally feeling his precious lips against mine, both of us demanding as well as matching in our movements with one another, making up for lost time with our kisses, of asking and granting, of everything that fucking mattered to me in this world.

This felt effortless as I let myself drown in Ashton's full, powder-soft lips that moved so erotically with my own, his every push against my mouth as he wished to seek more of me to hold onto and taste created such a delicious ecstasy that I could literally feel sparking throughout my body, igniting my blood and muscles and something much deeper as I let Ashton devour as much of me as he pleased.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, bringing me even closer to him still, as he hummed against my mouth in utter delight, the sensations of our furious, red-hot kisses making my clouded head fill with even more blissful fog, as he nipped lustfully at my bottom lip, prompting me to open my mouth.

Ashton's warm embrace was stern and fierce, as if he never wanted to be apart from me again, as he slipped his warm tongue inside my mouth, expertly seeking out my own tongue to tangle with in a truly animalistic way that had me resting more and more of my weight on top of him, needing his fire and light and all of the sexy energy wrapped up in each one of our rushed kisses.

The way Ashton swirled our tongues together, the way he flicked just the tip of his against my own...the way he would slow down his movements so that he could stroke my hair and back...all of it spoke volumes to me of how lustful he was for me, yet our actions also spoke of how much Ashton needed me in an entirely different way...something much more personal, greater...serious. The blend of the two emotions I was able to latch onto from him, his kisses and the way he needed our mouths fused together, was both thrilling and endearing.

"You need a haircut," Ashton whispered in my ear as he scooped me up and carried me to my room. "I'm glad you're mine, Lovebug." He leaned forward and placed a kiss on my forehead. "From the second I met you, I knew you belonged to me and I to you."

I rolled my eyes. "You already told me that."

"I'll probably say it again at some point." He smiled. "I love you baby, I can't stand to be away from you ever again."

"You know that I can't live without you anymore, right?" I told him.

"Don't worry, I'll love you forever. We'll be together until we die," Suddenly, in the midst of all my troublesome thoughts, I felt a sudden warmness around me. Ashton was closer now now that we were on my bed. We felt closer than humanly possible, and suddenly, I couldn't control my blush. It was easy to forget about this aspect of our closeness, but it reminded me how connected we really were. I remembered how excited I would be, just being touched by this guy. I was thoroughly disgusted, but he couldn't get enough of it, either. The warm touch. His warm arms holding me close.

Fuck.

"Danny," The velvet like voice called to me and from that point on, my attention was his.

It didn't feel like this.....before. There was a pleasant indescribable feeling and unbearable heat torturing me as I went through those normal thought processes everyone was supposed to go through in times like these. I was a bit sad.....that our first time since my discharge was a desperate fuck, no matter how hot it was going to be.

I gulped, and Ashton got closer and closer, until our legs touched.

So good.

"You really love me back," Ashton's voice was nothing more than a shallow whisper. He was on all fours as he crawled forward with his head pressed into my neck. He inhaled, and inhaled and inhaled like that's what his life depended on. Fuck, it was really hot. He opened his mouth, lips pressed into my exposed skin and he began to lick a small area. He sucked, licked and bit down hard enough to hear a response from me. He couldn't seem to get enough. He didn't stop. His hands were suddenly on my arms and it only encouraged him to further bite me, making me yearn for more. Ashton pressed even more in to me, receiving a few protests, but mostly, sounds I never thought he'd enjoy this much. "Do you feel that?"

"Yes." I whispered knowing he was referring to how different the atmosphere was around us. It was more intimate, more needy....more real and in the moment.

Ashton only pulled back, face flushed and hot with his eyebrows furrowed down. "It's because you're in love with me too. Making love is this intimate." I reached out, fingers desperately grabbing at his shoulders and pulling him back to me, just to close our lips together.

Ashton smirked into the kiss, forcing his own weight into the exchange, but only receiving more pressure from the me. We were both trying to be dominant, both thriving to dominate the other. It was natural, but the need for dominance was the same.

"You won't win this one, Lovebug." Ashton pulled back from the kiss.

I laughed under his breath, pausing for a minute for casual effect before leaping up and pinning him against the sheeted bed. It was a surprise for Ashton, but also a challenge he gladly accepted.

We fought for dominance over each other for well over ten solid minutes before Ashton tightened his grasp on my wrists, pinning them to the bed. Our bodies were pressed together this time, breathing heavily and suddenly I felt like jello. Like he liquified me in a matter of five seconds. I muffled a groan of defeat was in the end.

"Fuck this," I writhed. "If it wasn't for your huge body, you'd be where I am now. Asshole."

"Submit to me, I can guarantee you'll like it more," Ashton softened his grip on my wrists as our eyes connected then, and in that split second, I submitted – whether against the my will or not, it wasn't all too clear. All I knew was that this was the best foreplay ever....and that I've never felt more connected to Ashton emotionally, physically and spiritually more than I did now. His nervous hands unbuttoned and yanked down my jeans and boxers. He lifted his hand to slip a finger into my mouth, wetting it before resting it against my entrance just teasing me.

God, did i crave for it.

When Ashton pushed a finger in, I groaned aloud, not meaning to, but at the moment didn't care. I laid there, trying not to be so responsive for the most part, until I felt another wet finger slip in. Ashton created a rhythm, moving them in and out, and spread him generously.

I gulped, head heavy against the pillow as Edward fucked him with his fingers, and just as it seemed it wasn't too bad even though it's been so long– there were three fingers now. I desperately pushed down onto Ashton's hand with a hoarse whimper, not expecting the intense euphoria that threatened to explode in me. Ashton's fingers slid in and out with much more ease, as he pulled down his own underwear a bit so he could leave his suit on. He was beyond hard. 

"Don't worry about messing up the suit," he said firmly. I linked my hands together behind Ashton's head, fingers buried into the pale blond hair. It was reassurance in my own way, and Ashton leaned in to capture my lips with his own. It was soft, and it served well in distraction when a pressure suddenly prodded against me. My breath had hitched, and without much thought I bit into Ashton's lip, hard enough to draw blood.

Ashton only responded with an equally hard nip to the my bottom lip, tugging with force. My body was overwhelmed with everything I was feeling, and the distraction of our kiss seemed to serve me for a minute or two, until Ashton finally pressed past the tight ring of muscle.

I broke the kiss, grunting with the intrusion as Ashton did his best to comfort me. Ashton went slow, pushing in until his dick disappeared completely. He created a slow pace, allowing me some time to get reacquainted with him. It happened gradually, and the feelings I felt transformed into something more, something full of need, and when my hands shakily pawed at his suit, scratching down with no remorse, he slowed to a stop.

"Tell me if it's too much and don't scream too loud and wake up the entire neighborhood," he ordered. But then.....Oh, then I understood the warning. Ashton's hips suddenly snapped into me, without warning and the breath in my lungs was knocked right out of me. I cried out, and the slow pace that seemed great before was nothing compared to this now. Warm hips relentlessly pounded into me.

Our bodies moved fast together, with a steady and fast rhythm that kept me holding on, I latched my arms around Ashton's neck. I was breathless, all of my last breaths were being fucked right out of me, and any others that were spared were in the forms of hoarse moans. 

"Oh, fuck." I managed out against Ashton's skin, and his only response was a guttural growl and lips claiming my neck with soft bites and quick swipes of the tongue. 

"You're all mine now," Ashton's claim muffled into my neck, hips still moving in and and out of me, pulling the dirtiest noises I could muster up. I panted and whimpered, and he made sure to hit his intended mark, to hear me fail to muffle my screams more.

So much for Ashton's genius plan. Ashton hit the same spot over and over and over, moving a hand down to lift me upward with him as he angled himself for deeper access. "God, baby, you're so fucking hot!"

Neither of us cared anymore to keep quiet, that much was obvious. All that mattered was release, and Assured assured me it would happen with a hand now stroking me in time with his frantic thrusts.

I gulped. "Ah, ah—" my breathing was shallow and quick, accompanied with broken noises that seemed to be music to Ashton's ears. It seemed to fuel him, and he went a bit harder than he ever had, not seeming to care if i was okay or not. 

I'm close, close.. so, so..

Ashton nodded, hands tightening around me like a boa constrictor. He was pulsing as well, we were both so close, I felt everything start to boil over the top and spill over making me suddenly tense underneath him, calloused fingers shakily pressing so hard into my sides, i'd definitely see a bruise in a few hours. My body arched against mine as my balls tightened. I inhaled a quick gasp of breath, and exhaled as my release washed over me like years of relief surging through me all at once, but Ashton paid no mind to it, as the his own release followed quickly there after.

I dirtied a suit.

This was too hot to handle. I couldn't help myself. Ashton, my puppy was in love with me. My pup, my handsome suited Ashton, he was mine and I was his and nothing and nobody could change that.It was like fire, his touch, liquid in my veins and scalding through me. I felt like I was poised on the edge of a knife, desire coursing through me, while reason and lust tugged at me. I looked at him. I looked at his pale skin and crimson mouth, the column of his neck as his Adam's apple bobbed in time to his heavy breaths, his tongue as it peeked out and wet his lips, the blondness of his hair, shimmering along his arms and creating a halo about his head, before I finally, finally looked at his blue eyes, filled with so much want, so much need and naked desire, that they were nearly grey, viridian and stormy.

I didn't have a chance against him.

My mouth was on his in a heartbeat, less even, feasting on him, tasting him before breaking off.

"I made the biggest mistake of my life the day I let you break it off with me, and I have spent the last couple of days getting my head out of my ass." Ashton look straight into my eyes and caressed my face gently as he started to slowly move again. "I fell in love with you a long time ago, but I didn't really get it, I didn't really understand that you were all I needed."

"Ashton, I—"

"There isn't anyone else. There hasn't been anyone else and there never will be anyone else. No one. I only want you. I want to do it right, and show you what you mean to me," he continued burying himself deep into me. "I'll do anything it takes to keep you."

I felt like every nerve ending in my body was awash with pleasure hearing this as my second orgasm quickly came up. I kept my eyes focused on Ashton's and watched as he reached his climax. He was beautiful and I knew in that moment that he was it for me. He collapsed on top of me and I wrapped my arms around him, never wanting to let go. 

I tangled my hands into his hair, stroking gently, and chuckled softly at him. "Was that enough?"

"I took care of myself a few times before you got here, so I'm spent. I don't want to put you in any danger."

"I'm all yours, Ashton. One more time, please," I asked.

"As much as I want to, we have to work up to it so you can heal properly. I'll take care of you forever, Lovebug. I've never felt like this before..." he murmured, rubbing gentle circles onto my hip with his thumb. After a few moments, he pushed himself up and disengaged from me creating a panging sense of loss and anxiety.

"Where are you going?" I mumbled, wanting to tell him to stay but uncertain if that's what he wanted. Shit, I've become needy!

"I'm just running to the bathroom," he reassured me. I heard him moving about the bathroom and then heard the water turn on. I was exhausted now, as if I had worked out for an hour, but tried to stay awake until he returned. My heavy eyelids weren't helping.

A little while later I felt him cleaning me up with a warm washcloth. I wanted nothing more than to just curl up against him and relish in his warmth for the rest of my life. He left again and when he came back, I murmured, "Stay, please?"

"I'm not leaving, baby," he replied softly, "I'm sorry I pushed you so hard." I heard him take off his clothes and turn off the light. Then he was next to me, pulling me close to him and wrapping his arms around me. 

"You didn't-" I tried but he just shut me up with a quick kiss before tangling his muscular legs with mine.

"Promise that you won't leave me in this lifetime," he mumbled against my lips.

"I promise."

This is where I belong was the last thought I had before I drifted off to sleep.