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Reborn as the Clown Prince

Read all Synopsis! Original name: The Clown/Клоун An ordinary student gets into the most famous psychopath of the DC universe and tries to become a hero. -------- Warnings: 1. There is a lot of fluff and the fanfiction atmosphere will be closer to the animated series "Harley Quinn" 2019. 2. There are sex scenes and quite cringe-worthy (there are a couple between the girls), but in general they are hardly enough for ten chapters in one volume. 3. Despite the "System" tag, the system is often mentioned only at first chapters, but after the 12th chapter it practically does not appear even in the form of alerts (I have no task to gain volume stupidly due to repeated stats), besides, the protagonist himself uses it little, preferring independent development. 4. Slow development of the protagonist. -------- Disclaimer: hello everyone, I have to inform you that an unscrupulous translator of my fanfiction has appeared on the site (FanFictionForge (FanFictionPremium): "Reborn as a Joker"). I planned to do the translation myself, but after I finish the second volume. The first volume was completed a year and a half ago. Unfortunately, circumstances forced me to act earlier, so I'm posting all the currently open chapters here. At the moment, 192 chapters in English (DeepL) are for free in the public domain here: https://boosty.to/logri/posts/84a7f749-2050-4d6b-99bc-596965b6eb5c P.S.: at least two translated chapters every day, since I'm still writing the continuation of the story, and I spend about 12 hours on each chapter (in Russian).

Logri · アニメ·コミックス
レビュー数が足りません
200 Chs

American Idol

There wasn't much point in flying to another continent with everyone else, since the sorceress would be creating a portal to transport the Amazons anyway, and four extra people wouldn't make any difference. Diana had also expressed her desire to stay, wanting some motherly companionship. Besides, sitting in one place for almost two hours, feeling overloaded and wearing a helmet with an oxygen mask on my head, is a pleasure that I had come to appreciate when I got to Las Vegas. And here it should be taken into account that the bat-wing was originally designed for such speeds and had very comfortable anatomical seats, but the bat-cargo-plane was created with a view to transportation of heavy equipment, or to accommodate a mobile headquarters. Its design in principle was not adapted for supersonic flights, but Cyborg, during the forced parking while someone was acting as a negotiator, seriously modified the engines, and at the same time strengthened the skin, having rebuilt almost a third of the hull and growing some parts directly from his own body.

Without this upgrade, the heroes would have reached the Wolf's lair in nine hours at best. In that time, even taking into account the "valve" twisted by the sorceress, which limited the channel of energy transfer from the Amazon Mother Box, Darkseid's general would not only complete Unity (if it was possible to do it with a copy), but also stop by for the real artifact.

However, a speed of Mach three and a half will help the future Justice League arrive on time. Once again, I was left to prepare myself for the battle, taking into account the new data. Zee's words about the impossibility of using normal spells and the increased mana expenditure in areas with a surplus of high-tech made me gut all available diamond reserves and put Abby in charge of filling them, while Harley and I met the incoming warriors and worked on our arsenal, replenishing it with the most killer toys and ordinary flash drives.

The allotted two hours flew by too quickly. It seemed that I had just explained to the Amazons how the portal worked, patted Ivy a little to make her stop sulking (it turned out so well), talked to Astarte, admired the warm conversation between Hippolyta and Diana, and modified the last RPG projectile, increasing the area of impact with the help of several runes, as a large rainbow pancake appeared on the edge of the tropical island, from which the Enchantress emerged with a fat rabbit in her hands.

Zee, her eyes glowing like two blue spotlights and her dark hair moving to the beat of a silent melody, was compelling. I didn't even have to get close to her to feel the powerful flow of magic coming from her. I felt like I was right next to the Dragon Lodge, so strong was the feeling.

She muttered a few words to herself, and the ground near the portal sagged a little, revealing a circle of runes. I immediately noticed a couple of familiar combinations. One was for strengthening blows, and the other was for strengthening the skin, which was based on weak shield spells. Themyscira's inhabitants are strong enough as it is, so there's no point in using something more powerful. Besides, to treat two hundred people with such a complex is... Well, wow. And I'm not even mentioning the other combinations of symbols, some of which are clearly related to light blessings.

"Come in a circle of three, and then dive straight into the portal," the voice of the sorceress, reinforced by a spell, echoed over the clearing. - The spell is valid for only two hours, so try to use this time to your maximum advantage.

The beautiful warriors immediately broke into threes, and the work boiled over.

"EINELISU! EINELISU! EINELISU!"

At each word, the magic circle flashed briefly, bestowing buffs on the girls who stepped inside, after which they fish-jumped into the rainbow ring of transition.

It took almost half an hour to move the entire troop. In that time, Zee had become seriously gaunt. Her eyes were back to normal, her hair had faded, and the white rabbit had turned from a well-fed wiener into a skeleton covered in gray fur. The only people left in the trampled clearing were the ones closest to me, and I gently embraced the staggering illusionist, trying to infuse her with some prana.

"Don't..." the sorceress tried to sluggishly disentangle herself. - You still have a battle to fight.

"I'm just a little bit," I kiss the girl gently, transferring some more life energy to her.

"All-in-all, finish up, or the transition will close soon, and I just don't have the energy to create a new one.

"Got it. Ivy, keep an eye on her, please."

"What would you do without me," Ivy sighed heavily and with a "I'm so sick of this" look, I grew a chair out of her bracelets, where I immediately sat Zee.

"Don't die out there, or you might not come home."

Looks like the red-haired dryad is still mad about the sudden addition to the family, well, or has turned on her favorite tsundere mode.

"Ha ha ha, good!"

Since the green-skinned beauty was standing close, I kissed her too, and then, without looking back, jumped into the portal, pushing off the glyph that flashed under my feet.

As I stepped onto the hard ground of withered, dark grass that seemed to have been drained of all its vital juices, a large red dome loomed in the distance. I had to say, against the almost black clouds illuminated by the moon, the surrounding landscape looked incredibly mesmerizing.

Looking a little lower, I found warrior women crowded at the foot of the hill, busily checking gear, and a bat-and-mouse style tank parked at the edge of the gloomy forest.

"Time is of the essence," I was brought out of my contemplative state by the voice of a silently approaching Mouse. - Cyborg.

Victor, whom Bats was once again using as a portable projector, stepped forward and launched a hologram of the dome-covered city.

"I was able to do a little reconnaissance. In order to remove the energy shield, we need to destroy these columns, - several spires that look like giant stalagmites appeared on the volumetric plan. - I propose to send the bat-tank first, so that it could get under the dome and give the Amazons the opportunity to attack from the northern direction, drawing some of the attention of the Parademons.

"Accepted, the Themyscira warriors are ready, we can go right now, - said confidently Antiope, who was appointed to command the Amazons.

"All right. Swampy, you're facing northwest. Swampy?"

I looked over at the dryad, who was tensely scrutinizing the glowing dome in the distance.

"Abby, is something wrong?"

"Earth... Plants... The energy of the Forest no longer flows in them... It's something else... It's unnatural... It shouldn't exist! - The familiar red eyes instantly turned green, and the girl's figure began to rapidly grow and become covered with a multitude of incredibly sharp thorns, with glistening drops of poison at their tips.

The protector of nature sprung up a bit and practically shot herself towards the dome, continuing to increase in size and grow additional limbs in flight.

"I see..." Bats looked thoughtfully at the lump of hatred that rode away, reminding me of the angry Hulk. - Then the Amazons will attack from the northwest.

"Accepted," Antipope nodded without any change in her face and hurried to her troops, giving orders as she went.

"Ra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a!" I heard a distant roar.

While we were chatting, Abby had reached her goal, transformed into a huge green tentacle monster, and was now repeatedly slamming her limbs into the energy dome surrounding the city, causing the individual membranes to ripple.

"I think we should hurry, or we'll miss all the fun," I said with a smile, trying to ignore Gloomy Mouse's disapproving look. It's no good coming up with clever plans when the squad is a hodgepodge of colorful individuals.

Abby's performance didn't really affect our actions, though, and I'd say it made it much easier for us to do what we'd planned, since an enraged ten-meter elemental that can regenerate severed limbs almost instantly is a great distraction. And then there are the two hundred enchantment-enhanced Amazons who didn't stand still and joined in the fun as well. With the support of Bats driving the tank, the beautiful warriors successfully broke through the energy dome and, after destroying one of the feeding spires, began to slowly reduce the population of anthropomorphic bugs.

Well, while the main squad drew the enemy forces, we loaded into a flying transport and, having turned on the cloaking systems, began to fly around the dome on the perimeter.

"Well, fuck it..." I whispered quietly, finishing the illusion spell.

I could see what Zee had meant when she'd talked about the incompatibility of magic with high technology. As soon as the airplane got a little closer to the city, the weave that had been created began to fall apart like paint under the influence of acetone. I had to hurriedly pour in more mana and stabilize the whole thing with small portions of life energy, and only then activate the finished spell.

"Is everything all right? - The blurry silhouette of Aquaman standing in the center of the room clarified.

"The energy expenditure was higher than I thought..." I felt a slight tingling sensation on my face, but I immediately renewed my own disguise with an extra splash of life energy. - Much higher. Diana, a little help? It's the same principle as the treatment.

The girl silently placed her palms on my back and began to slowly transfer prana. The girl silently placed her palms on my back and began to transfer prana.

Huh, with this kind of support you could easily add dispel from the school of reason, creating a better disguise.

But my optimistic dreams collided with the harsh reality. The more complex the weave, the more lines and symbols there are in it, which, dogs like that, from excess prana stupidly begin to scatter in space, and in a very familiar way, reminiscent of the structures created by Harley, or to close on each other, destroying the almost finished construction. By trial and error, I guessed to balance the created runes with normal mana, but, in this case, the proportions were seventy to thirty in favor of magical energy, which resulted in some exorbitant costs.

And okay, that would be the only problem. The plan would have been to simply cast less costly chameleon spells on all of us, but as it turned out, the ready-made spells in the dome area also degraded too quickly. Aquaman's example proved this when the spell on him suddenly disappeared, revealing a man looking at his own hands with interest.

"Joker, I can see myself again," he pointed out the obvious.

"That sucks..." I pondered, looking for a way out of the tricky situation.

The illusion on my face required five times as much mana, though I hadn't noticed it before and could wear it all day and night. The illusion of the face had become five times more mana-intensive, though I'd never noticed it before and could wear it all day long.

I quickly created a simple weave that was practically all prana and more complex mana-based enchantments, casting them on Flash.

"What?!" the superhero tried to remove the red nose that appeared on his face, but his hand repeatedly passed through the object like a mirage.

"Testing. Be quiet for a couple seconds."

"Oh, gone," he wouldn't shut up. - Hey, why are there blue swim trunks over my suit?

"I wanted to make you look more like Superman... It didn't work. I turned to the rest of my companions. - The chameleon charms are a bust, so we'll use the backup plan," I said excitedly, starting to create again.

"Batman didn't say there was any backup plan."

Flash again decided to make me wish I'd buried him quietly.

"Don't worry, that's my plan!"

From the looks of the superheroes, except for an enthusiastic Harley, who was getting a little bored, and an indifferent Diana, no one was eager to trust the former supercriminal. But who would be interested in other people's opinions when the fate of the planet was at stake?

 

***

 

"I don't believe it really works," said the Cyborg-voiced parademon walking down the street thoughtfully as he looked at the flock of his "kin" flying overhead.

"Huh, told you so. They're too dumb to recognize a fake," I said cheerfully, walking up to another monster.

"But it would be safer with an invisibility field," muttered the illusion-hidden Victor quietly.

"Nah, you'd take too long with him, and besides, it's more interesting that way," I waved him away, turning my attention back to the huge cooling tower of the nuclear power plant, transformed by the Cubes into a giant beehive, from which new portions of parademons were flying out every second.

I liked traveling in the company of the transformed Harley through the dilapidated city. Here and there black-red roots sticking out of the asphalt, resembling coral reefs with their structure, crunching underfoot. Houses gape with gloomy dark holes in place of windows, some buildings are covered with painful-looking black veins with strange yellow growths, alien cyber beetles frolic in the sky, and in the distance you can see bright flashes, hear the sounds of explosions, as well as the roar of angry dryads. It reminded me of Gotham for some reason, though here in dark alleys nobody tries to cut you down and rob you, which is a huge plus for this place.

Unfortunately, the reigning idyll was suddenly disrupted by an alien that landed nearby.

"Sk-k-kr," he shrieked, staring at our group with his red eyepieces.

"Popados..." came from the cyberdemon standing on his right side.

Eh, I guess I shouldn't have taken pity on Barry.

"Scrooge? - The alien rumbled questioningly, making no attempt to attack.

Come on...

"These aren't the Droids you're looking for," I swiped my hand, shielding the Jedi. - Go where you're going.

"Sk-r-r-r-r-r-r?

"Go, I said."

"Kr-u-m, sk-r-r-r, tr," he said again with an inexpressible set of grinding sounds.

I guess demons are really dumb, and their recognition system is purely visual. Heh, so much the better for us.

As I contemplated how to get away from the freak's intrusive company, a trident suddenly flew out from behind me, pinning the monster's head to the nearest wall.

"What?" the cloaked Aquaman said questioningly, returning his weapon and shaking off the green blood. - He could have called for help.

The progression was smoother, as the parademons paid no attention to the atypical behavior of their kin. One anthropomorphic bug had jet streams from its limbs to help it fly over obstacles, the other two had magical platforms flashing under their feet, and the last one constantly disappeared in acceleration, turning into a dark, blurry silhouette. Against this background, the giant leaps from the two remaining cyberdemons looked completely normal.

It's even amazing that we reached the Tower of Evil at the same time as Bats, who successfully lost (heroically blew up) his tank. The concentration of "high technologies" here was prohibitive, and there were some strange waves spreading from the walls, visible to the mystical eye, so it's not surprising that the illusion dissipated when we got inside.

The few beetles shrieked angrily and immediately rushed into battle. In a few moments, their souls were on their way to the River Styx.

Flash with an awl and Velcro bombs - it's really scary. One second, and five monsters settle to the floor, another, and the next batch is sent to the next world, while at the same time an explosion occurs, destroying three more parademons standing nearby.

Out of the corner of my eye I notice the tense figure of Gloomy Mouse, who was looking too closely at the hero.

"Ps," I got Bats' attention. - If you want to dig him up, I'm in.

The man took his gaze away from the red-clad Barry frozen in the center of the room.

"He's our ally."

"Well, yeah, but I always have a shovel with me."

To the main boss of the level, who, according to all the canons of the genre, was on a hill, practically in the very center of the cooling tower, we had to cut through entire crowds of enemies, who were pouring in an endless stream from every crevice. I can't even imagine what would have happened if we'd gotten here without the Amazons and Dryads to distract most of the alien army. It felt like Steppenwolf had devastated a couple of nearby cities while we'd been flying here.

Fortunately, my fears were in vain. On the upper platform I found the Steppenwolf himself; a large bust of Darkseid carved from black marble; the Mother Cubes hanging in the air, merged into a multicolored polyhedron, some of whose facets seemed to disappear from perception, causing a little nausea with too alien geometry; and a small gap in space, where the reinforcements were coming from.

"You shouldn't resist the inevitable," the horned knight stepped forward, activating his axe. - Kill them!

"Joker, portal. The rest of you, according to plan," Bats said, fanning the flash drives forward.

Without thinking long, I fire a reinforced RPG shell at the rupture, briefly reducing the pressure.

"Kill the green-haired man and the blonde! - The Darkseid General reacted in a flash, deftly fending off Cyborg, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman.

Flash, instead of getting ready to recharge Victor, decided to stay, and I was grateful to him, because after the bastard's words, I felt all the benefits of being a target. The opponents had stopped ignoring Harley and me and were now trying their best to get to fresh flesh.

And I hadn't given up trying to seal the gap, so it was fucking fun. I was especially pleased when I was suddenly surrounded by the girl and her on the edge of a precipice, and the only thing that saved me from the deadly claws was my trusty cane and the ability to instantly put up a shield. Honestly, I was already prepared to die nobly with a happy smile on my lips, when I remembered that the opponents may be a lot, but at the same time they are incredibly stupid.

Thirty seconds of concentration along with acrobatic numbers, accompanied by joyful laughter due to fun memories, and Harley transforms into a cyberbug that the monsters take for their own.

Ha! It's working! Shit!

Another suicidal man sets off to meet a gothic cutie with his eye on a cane.

After another incredibly long minute of running at the limit, during which we got even further away from the portal, I also stop being attacked. Instead, the bugs began to fly immediately outside to join the battle against the Amazons. Oh well, it was the turn of the deadly number.

"Freeze!"

The twenty closest parademons froze.

"Hmmm... Raised right hand..."

Some of the demons complied with the action, some ignored it, and some raised their left.

"That's it," I say, and the bugs follow suit.

"Ha ha ha! And now this."

I extend my right arm forward, then my left arm, turn my right palm to the top, then my left.

"You control them! - One of the aliens remarked with delight, in the voice of his beloved, when my new subordinates dutifully repeated everything.

And since everything is working out so wonderfully, we can make it harder.

Right hand on left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder. Right hand behind the head, left hand behind the head. Right hand on the left side, left hand on the right side. Then right palm on the right buttock, left palm on the left buttock, pelvic figure eight and turn ninety degrees* with a jump.

 

***

 

"I don't want to distract anyone, but has anyone noticed anything strange? - Aquaman asked thoughtfully, jumping away from Steppenwolf's swinging axe.

Everyone present, including General Darkseid, turned their heads to watch with great amazement as a replica of the Steppenwolf joyfully danced the Macarena along with a crowd of streaming parademons to the enduring sounds of battle.

"Maybe we're all dead and it's just a death hallucination? - Flash suggested uncertainly, wiping the eyepieces of his mask just in case.

"No, I see it too," Steppenwolf answered him, scratching his right horn thoughtfully with his axe.

"Maybe you're dead, too? - With a little hope in his voice, the guy clarified. - The cubes, for example, exploded, and we were all instantly annihilated.

"I would have noticed."

"I think it's Joker's illusion," Cyborg tried different modes of vision, hoping that it was indeed an illusion, but all the surrounding space, except for the visible range, was in some strange pink haze.

"Heh! - A blade suddenly appeared from the chest of the armored knight, directed by the Amazon's firm hand. - Joker! A great distraction.

"Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Aha," the Wolf copy said cheerfully, continuing to dance.

 

*Dance: https://youtu.be/zWaymcVmJ-A