Breaking the mask

By the time I returned to our family cave, the moon was showering the forest bathed in the cool, silvery light. My paws were heavy with exhaustion, my mind still reeling from everything that had happened. I was trying to mentally prepare for the conversation I knew I had to have with my family - at least with my siblings at first.. But nothing could have prepared me for what I found when I stepped inside.

Mother was back.

Damn it...

She stood in the centre of the cave, her silver fur glowing softly with blue shade in the dim light, her eyes filled with both relief and something that looked very much like anger. I realised that I saw the other wolves from her patrol milling about in front of our dens moments ago - I must've been too taken by my own thoughts. They had clearly just returned from their mission, looking tired but unharmed.

My siblings stood frozen in front of our mother, and I joined them in this trance. Zephyr had left just before we reached the den, leaving me to face this alone... lucky bastard. My heart pounded in my chest, the anxiety rising as Mother's gaze locked onto mine.

"Mother," Lorelin was the first to speak, her voice a careful mix of respect and concern. "You're back…"

You don't say Lori... You're always so smart, couldn't you have chosen something less... obvious? I looked at her with my shocked eyes. There goes diplomacy.

"And what exactly do you think you were doing?" Mother's voice was calm, but there was an edge to it that sent a shiver down my spine.

"We…" Orish started, but his voice faltered under the weight of Mother's gaze.

"We were protecting the forest," Orsus finally said, stepping forward with his usual bravado.

Oh gosh... not you chubby... As always Orsus was a sharp fighter... but not a sharp thinker.

Orsus continued his speech without our interruptions, as we were all too afraid to move. "There was no time to wait. The goblins—"

"I know about the goblins," Mother interrupted, her voice sharp. "I smelled the blood in the air and felt the shift in the forest's energy as we returned. But what I want to know is why my children thought it was their responsibility to take on such a dangerous task alone."

"We had to," I said, my voice trembling slightly despite my efforts to keep it steady. "There was no one else."

Mother's eyes softened slightly as she looked at me, but the tension didn't leave her stance.

"Orphe, you're all so young. I understand your desire to protect the forest, but you need to understand that it's not your burden to carry alone."

"We're not just children anymore," Lorelin added, her voice firmer now. "We've trained, we've fought… we want to help. We can help."

Mother's gaze swept over us, her eyes filled with a mixture of pride and sorrow.

"I know you want to help. I see the strength you've all grown into, and I'm proud of you. But that doesn't mean I don't worry. Every time you go out there, I'm terrified something might happen to you."

"We were careful," Orish tried to reassure her, but Mother shook her head. One sharp look to my side and she immediately noticed I was wounded.

"No matter how careful you are, there are dangers out there that you're not ready for. I've seen what this world can do, the threats that lurk just beyond the trees. I'm your mother, and I can't just stand by and watch you risk your lives like this. Even when you're fully grown and capable... it doesn't mean you must take on everything alone. We're a family."

What Mom just said... I... I don't think I ever really knew what it meant to have a family... I couldn't hold it back any longer. The weight of everything I'd been carrying—the fear, the doubt, the anger—came crashing down on me all at once. My legs gave out, and I slumped to the ground, my head hanging low.

"It's not just about the forest," I mumbled, my voice barely above a whisper. "It's about… everything."

My siblings went quiet and looked at me with worried expressions. Mother moved closer, her expression softening as she lay beside me. "What do you mean, Orphe?"

And then, just like earlier with Zephyr, the dam broke. All the emotions I'd been holding in for so long came pouring out.

"I'm scared, Mother," I confessed, my voice trembling. "I'm so scared all the time. Scared of not being good enough, of disappointing you, of failing everyone. I… I don't know if I can keep doing this. I feel like I have to be perfect all the time like I can't show weakness or… or be a kid coz someone has to protect my family, my siblings, you... I'm trying so hard, but it's so hard to keep pretending that I'm not terrified… But I try to... coz I don't want to be a disappointment... I don't want you to leave me..."

My voice cracked, and I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I quickly tried to wipe it away, but Mother's paw caught mine, stopping me as she licked my cheek.

"It's okay, my little baby," she said softly, her voice filled with warmth and understanding. "You don't have to be perfect. None of us expect that from you."

I felt my siblings approach me and lie around us, their fur a warm comfort.

"We didn't know you felt this way Orphe... I know I always say you're my hero, but it doesn't mean you can't cry or make mistakes... I would never think less of you because of this," Orsus whispered softly, his big nose touching my side in a loving manner.

"You're mine and my mate's son," Lorish continued, her voice gentle but firm. "And we love you no matter what. You're allowed to be scared, to make mistakes, to feel all of these things. You're still growing, still learning, and it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to lean on us... You can lean on your siblings and friends too..."

I looked up at her, my vision blurred with tears. "But… I feel like I have to be strong. Like I have to prove that I belong here, that I'm worthy…"

"You've already proven that Orphe... with how much you care and love us," Lorelin said, crawling closer to nuzzle me gently. "You're more than worthy. And you don't have to carry all of this alone. We're a family. We're here for you. Just like you're always there for us... Even hearing how you put us all before your own good and happiness makes me feel like that happiest sister in the whole world."

Orsus nodded, his usually gruff demeanour softened with empathy. "We're a team, Orphe. We always have been. And that means sharing the load, not just the victories."

Orish added, his voice surprisingly tender, "You don't have to pretend with us. We know you, Orphe. We know how strong you are, but we also know you're just as vulnerable as the rest of us. And that's okay. I mean... look at Orsus... he's a freaking mountain and yet remember how he cried his eyes out a few days ago when he stepped on a thorn?" He snickered, and the rest of us chuckled - even Orsus.

The tears came faster now, and I didn't try to stop them.

"Yeah... I thought you were big Orsus but still a crybaby... And Orish you can be a pain in the ass... even now you still try to pick on someone. And Lori... please don't grow into one of those always perfect little ladies coz you're too smart for that... it's ok to get your fur dirty sometimes but you just escape every time we play in the mud... And mom... I love with when you call me 'your little baby' even if it may be embarrassing for others to hear..."

For the first time in a long while, I felt the weight lifting, the mask I'd been wearing finally cracking and falling away. It was a relief, a release of all the pent-up emotions I'd been holding onto for so long. And all of these comments I had... even those harsh ones. 

I got frightened for a moment that it was too much but when I heard everyone laughing softly I relaxed a bit.

Mother nuzzled me into an embrace, her head into an embrace, and I buried my face in her fur, letting the tears flow freely. "You're not alone, Orphe," she whispered. "We're a pack, a family... We're one and we'll always be together. Even if we'd be apart... We're still together and we would cross over any distance to be with you. And you know... if we're one body it's impossible to dispose of your own limb right? It would be difficult to survive..."

I nodded, clinging to her, to the warmth and comfort of her presence. It was the reassurance I hadn't known I needed, the understanding that I didn't have to be perfect, that I didn't have to hide how I was really feeling. My siblings lay their heads on my back, showing their support and love.

As the moments passed, the tightness in my chest began to ease, replaced by a warmth that spread through me, filling the spaces that had been weighed down by fear and doubt. The love and support of my family wrapped around me like a blanket, and for the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to just be—a son, a brother, a child who was still learning and growing.

"We'll get through this together," Mother said softly, her voice a soothing balm to my weary heart. "No more hiding, Orphe. You're perfect just the way you are and we don't want a world without you here... with us"

And in that moment, surrounded by the love of my family, I finally believed her.

----AUTHOR'S NOTE-----

MC: *crying*

Author: Want a tissue?

MC: Aye pls

Author: *passes a tissue*

MC: *blows his nose*

Author: So... something got into your eye? xP

MC: No... it's just... so many feelings. It's overflowing

Author: Oh... yeah, you're right, I think it's ...

MC: Do you want to talk?

Author: Wait, what?

MC: I won't charge you for a therapy session you know? Free of charge!

Author: What?

MC: Don't be embarrassed.

Author: I'm not... I don't have any issues...

MC: Embrace your problems and talk to me.. wait, I'll take notes! Where is my notebook?

Author: o-o *runs away quietly*

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