CHAPTER 1-DYLAN

I was standing outside the suburban house, feeling a bit out of place, when I rang the bell. From inside, I heard a girl's voice say, "Don't open it, I'll get it!"

A few seconds later, a woman with blonde hair and green eyes opened the door. She held a scarf with diamond designs in grey, blue, green, and white, and wore a black shirt, brownish-grey pants, and a green overcoat. She looked at me like a protective mama bear, sizing me up. Extending her hand, she said quickly, like she'd just sprinted from another room, "Hi, you must be Dylan."

"Uh, yeah, that's me," I replied, feeling a bit awkward.

"I'm Hailey's mom," she said, stepping aside just as Hailey came running down the stairs and grabbed my hand, pulling me inside.

As I tried to get my bearings, memories of my life and my role in the pilot episode of Modern Family started to mix in my head. Trying to lighten the mood, I said to Hailey's mom, "Wow, you're her mom? I thought you were her older sister or something," and gave a nervous laugh.

Hailey looked shocked, and her mom, Claire, seemed a bit flustered. As Hailey pulled me upstairs, Claire tugged on my shirt and said, "So, Dylan, you're still in high school?"

"Yeah, I'm a senior," I replied.

"Senior, okay, cool," she muttered, then called out, "Phil, could you come here for a second?"

Phil walked towards us, wearing cream pants, a powder blue t-shirt, and a brown blazer. "This is Dylan, he's a senior," Claire said, then whispered under her breath, "talk with him."

Phil extended his hand for a fist bump, which I returned. "Phil Dunphy, yo," he said awkwardly.

"I'm Dylan Saltzman, nice to meet you," I replied.

Commentary start

Phil stared directly at the camera and said, "Yeah, just like that. Let your eyes do the talking. Your mouth might say 'we're cool,' but your eyes say 'no, we're not.'" He pointed to his mouth, "Nice to meet you," then to his eyes, "No, it's not," back to his mouth, "It's all good," and again to his eyes, "No, it's not."

Commentary end

"Yo," Phil repeated.

"Wassup, Dr. Philly?" I responded with a grin.

Hailey chimed in, "I see you guys—"

Phil cut her off, "Keeping it real, you know what that means, son?"

"A little, but not really," I replied, trying to sound casual.

"Please stop," Hailey said, clearly embarrassed.

"We cool," Phil said, trying to reassure her, but then stumbled and fell. "I hurt my back, oww," he said, trying not to scream. Commentary start

Phil looked directly at the camera and said, "Where are you from originally?" Then he pointed to his eyes and added, "If it comes to a physical confrontation, I could beat you"

Commentary end

I picked Phil up in a princess carry and hurried him to the couch. "Maybe we should take you to the hospital," Claire suggested.

"No, no, no, no," Phil protested weakly.

I laid him sideways on the couch, and without much concern, I headed upstairs with Hailey. Claire went about her chores in the kitchen.

As we walked up the stairs, Phil called out, "Maybe you could turn me onto my back? I'm on my side, honey, honey," he said, not realizing everyone had left....As Hailey and I talked about how much I had changed in just one day, we sat on her bed, getting close and watching a movie, enjoying each other's company. Suddenly, her sister Alex walked into the room to grab a book.

"Mom!" Hailey screamed, startled.

Claire, from downstairs in the kitchen, called out to Alex, "Alex, leave your sister alone."

Alex rolled her eyes, muttering, "I was just getting my book, gosh."

In the kitchen of the Dunphy's house, Claire continued, "I know, sweetie, but you need to respect their privacy." She turned to Alex and asked, "What are they doing upstairs anyway?"

Alex replied nonchalantly, "Nothing, just sitting in bed, watching a movie."

Claire looked concerned but tried to maintain composure. "Okay," she said with hesitation in her voice. "Okay, I'm making a cake for tonight. Wanna help me with the frosting?"

Closing her book, Alex replied, "Sure." As she helped her mother, Alex suddenly asked Claire, "If Hailey got pregnant, would you pretend she has mono for a few months and tell everyone the baby is yours?"

Claire was dumbfounded. "What?" she exclaimed, clearly agitated.

Alex continued matter-of-factly, "A senior at school was out sick for four months, but some of the girls saw her breastfeeding in a car wash."...In Alex and Hailey's room,I took a deep breath and said, "Hey Hailey, I wrote a song about us. Wanna hear it?" I was trying to embody the role of Dylan Saltzman completely, even though I wasn't quite there yet. Hailey nodded eagerly, a smile spreading across her face, as I picked up the guitar I had given her, which she had hidden from everyone.

I strummed a few chords and began singing:

♫ She's been my queen since we were fourteenWe want the same things,we dream the same dreams Alright,alright,I got it all 'Cause she is the one, her mum calls me love Her dad calls me son, alright, alright ♫

Hailey listened intently, her eyes locked on mine as I continued with the chorus:

♫ I know, I know, I know for sure Everybody wanna steal my girl Everybody wanna take her heart away Couple billion in the whole wide world Find another one 'cause she belongs to me ♫

I poured my heart into the song, strumming and singing each line with sincerity:

♫ Kisses like cream, her walk is so mean And every jaw drop when she's in those jeans Alright, alright, I don't exist if I don't have her The sun doesn't shine, the world doesn't turn, alright, alright ♫

As I reached the bridge, I couldn't help but smile at Hailey, feeling a rush of emotion:

♫ She knows, she knows that I never let her down before She knows, she knows that I'm never gonna let another take her love from me now ♫

with a lot of emotion in my voice 

♫ Everybody wants to steal my girl Everybody wants to take her love away Couple billion in the whole wide world Well, find another one 'cause she belongs to me ♫

I ended the song with a flourish of chords, and I looked at Hailey, hoping she enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed singing it to her.

"Wow," Hailey said softly, her eyes shining with appreciation. "That was amazing, Dylan."

I grinned, feeling a sense of accomplishment. "Thanks, babe. I'm glad you liked it."

....chapter endnext chapter dodged a bullet