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Primordial Gamer

Seconds after Alex set a record in his favorite game by telling a really bad 'Your Momma' joke, aliens invaded the Earth. With chaos all around him, Alex struggles and fails to survive in an alien infested world. Apparently, being a world famous speed runner for the game Toilet Man doesn't teach you survival skills. Alex's soul is transported to an amphitheater in the heavens, wearing god awful clothes the gods found for him in the lost and found. He doesn't wear pink bunny slippers! He doesn't wear slippers at all, he insists. Hermes makes fun of his outfit, but tells him the gods are powering up mortals to fight the alien invasion. Alex strikes a bargain with Ludos, the goddess of games, who insists she is not a loli, to be her champion in exchange for infinite growth potential and the opportunity to be the real life rpg character he always wanted to be. Alex chooses Psion as his character class. Now he must level up his psionic powers from noob status, if he wants to ever play video games again. High stakes! ----------------------------------------------------- If you like comedy or action, you will probably like this. This story has a high focus on both. Here are some out of context quotes for you: "We're in a business relationship. We should keep it professional. What do they say? Never put your foot where your mouth is. Wait, never put your mouth on your business. That's not it. Never…" --Alex "Wait, does that mean you get each other pregnant and have each other's babies? I feel like my brain is exploding." --Alex "You may have got me this time, kid, but mark my words: next time, the only thing left of you will be your boots...because everything else will be all blown up and stuff. Because my bullets are explosive. They make things blow up." --Jebediah "Wait, your name is person-man-guy?" --Alex "Smiles and giggles, hugs and knives! Purple Platypuses will take your lives!" --gang door password "I don't want you behind me. I don't like you like that" --Alex "Uh, when you're done smashing your tits into his face, could you come gather with the rest of us?" --Hermes ------------------------------------------------- There is also a discord if you like talking and stuff: https://discord.gg/TKqSb8jHpa Yes, you will have to type out the link. I'm sorry!!!

Red_Marsh · ファンタジー
レビュー数が足りません
50 Chs

You Are Now Pretty Good

Alex sat down at one of the less populated tables. Immediately upon sitting down, a couple people slid their butts to sit closer to him.

"So, you're the guy, huh?" A curly-haired, red-headed man said.

"What guy?" Alex said.

"The guy we have to thank for becoming Chosen. The guy who put this event together," a muscular brunette woman said.

"Yeah, I'm that guy. What of it?" Alex said.

"Well, thanks, first off. But second, do you think you're gonna win?" The curly haired man said.

"I mean, yeah. I have to. For the fate of the world," Alex said.

"When you say it that way, it makes it sound like we should almost let you win," the brunette said.

"Don't worry about me. I'm gonna win. I have more than a few tricks up my sleeves," Alex said.

"Where?" The brunette looked at his arms. "To me it doesn't look like you're even wearing sleeves."

"It's a figure of speech," Alex said. "What are your names? So I don't keep calling you brunette and curly haired guy in my head."

"My name is Finn. And this is Astrid." The curly haired guy named Finn said.

"So how are you going to win? You look tiny." Astrid said.

"I'm not tiny. I'm fit," Alex said. "Besides, I'm going to get buffer soon. Just you wait."

"I'll wait," Astrid said.

"You want me to do it right now?" Alex said.

"Yeah, get buffer right now. I bet you can't," Astrid said.

"Ok, you asked for it," Alex said.

Alex focused on leveling up.

[Initiating Level Up Sequence]

Alex found himself floating in space again, but he could see the rainbow bridge, Bifrost, in the background and the Nine Worlds floating around in the cosmos.

"Whoa! Where are we?" Astrid said.

"What the hell? How did you get in here," Alex said, confused.

"Uh, I'm here too in case anyone cared," Finn said.

"I care. I care that you're in my head," Alex said, frustrated.

"Whoa, we can see you like you're a character in a video game," Astrid said.

"Yeah, you can." Alex said.

"I want to see my character!" Astrid said.

There were some beeping and booping sounds like buttons being pressed randomly, and Astrid's disembodied character showed up next to Alex's.

"Wait, I want to see mine too!" Finn said.

More beeping sounds could be heard, but they sounded more experimental and methodical than Astrid's random button mashing.

"What are you two even pressing? I don't see any buttons," Alex said.

"You don't?" Finn said. "Astrid and I are in some sort of control room. You're just a disembodied voice for us. Where are you?"

"I'm in the game," Alex said. "I am just a disembodied voice right now."

"Oh. Huh," Finn said. "It looks like it's this one labeled view character."

Another beep sound, and then Finn's character showed up next to Alex's and Astrid's.

"So how are you two actually in here?" Alex said.

"Well, this weird vortex showed up above your head and it sucked you in. So we both put our hands into it," Finn said.

"Yeah, it felt weird and cold," Astrid said.

"Why on Earth would you do that?" Alex said.

"But we're not on Earth," Astrid said.

"That makes very little sense, but I won't argue," Alex said, exasperated.

"Oh, cool! I have stats. Strength is buff. Dexterity is average. Intelligence is…dumb as a rock? What the fuck? I'll sue this machine!" Astrid said.

"Whoa, Astrid be quiet. I hear footsteps. It sounds like someone is walking down the hall towards us, but there's only one door. How do we get out?" Finn said.

Alex heard a door open and a familiar voice say, "What are two idiots doing in my control room? How did you even get in here? Out, the both of you!"

"Ow my ass! Why did you have to kick it?" Astrid said.

"I'm a goddess. I can kick your ass whenever I want! Wait for me in the hall. I'll get you back where you're supposed to be," Ludos said.

"Ok, we're sorry, maam." Finn said.

"You saw a hole and you had to go stick your hand into it, huh? You're such a man," Ludos said. "You too, young lady! You're also a man!"

There was a moment of silence. Ludos sighed and said, "Sorry about that, Alex. I'll fix your screen." Some buttons were pressed and Alex's level-up screen went back to normal. The images of Astrid's and Finn's characters disappeared. "Now I gotta go bring these idiots back to Asgard. Good luck!"

Alex heard a door close, and then there was silence. Wow. That was weird. Alex didn't realize there was an actual control room where the game aspect of his system was managed and controlled.

That meant every change that happened was either manually programmed into the system or Ludos had to manually activate it. He didn't realize she was so close, even when she was so far away.

He kind of thought the system managed itself. Show's what he knew.

Well, back to leveling up, he thought.

[Level Up Rewards]

[Your stats are now pretty good]

Alex hit 'next'.

[Choose a new feat]

Alex looked through the list of feats and chose 'Mental Fortress'.

[Mental Fortress: Your mind becomes stronger at resisting mental attacks]

He had gotten lucky against the yellow alien. He may not be so lucky the next time. Being better at resisting mental attacks was going to be incredible the next time he had the opportunity to showcase it.

[New Class Feature: Additional target for Psionic Surge and two additional charges per short rest]

Nice! That would allow him to boost two core skills at the same time with Psionic Surge if he wanted to, and he would be able to boost three skills total per short rest.

That was a huge boost to his versatility and power in a moment of need. Having two targets would allow him to fully boost combo skills like telekinetic spikes.

He wanted to try it right now, but he knew now wasn't the time. He would have to wait until he was in his room alone.

[Choose Five New Skills]

[Skills Available: Cryokinesis, Emotion Control, Astral Projection, Empathy, Clairaudience, Dowsing, Psionic Mapping]

[Cryokinesis: Generate and control cold and ice]

[Emotion Control: Generate and control emotions]

[Astral Projection: Project one's consciousness outside of one's body]

[Dowsing: The ability to locate people, objects, and resources without the use of scientific apparatus]

[Clairaudience: The ability to hear things outside the range of normal perception]

[Psionic Mapping: Create a three-dimensional map of one's surroundings]

[Empathy: The ability to sense the emotions of those around you]

Alex chose Cryokinesis, Empathy, Dowsing, and Psionic Mapping.

"You know, eventually you're going to run out of core skills to take," Ludos said in Alex's level-up screen.

"What happens then?" Alex said.

"We'll just have to find out," Ludos said.

"Ok," Alex said. So mysterious. Well, he didn't really care what happened as long as he got stronger and more capable of fighting in this war.

[Would you like to swap out any skills?]

Nope. Alex clicked 'finish'.

He appeared back in his seat, at the table, but everyone in the room was looking at him funny. Like he'd just popped out of a vortex or something.