Primal Instinct

Alexandra Trese was very, very drunk.

As she stumbled up the stairs leading to her private quarters, she cursed to herself. The lights were still off on the staircase and hallway landing. She'd forgotten to turn it on in her drunken haze.

It was so dark. Only the moonlight was streaming into the large windows lining the staircase. The Trese ancestral house was done in the Gothic style so there were low ceilings, sparse lighting fixtures and a certain aura of heaviness.

She really hated the architect who drew up the plans for this house. If it was up to her, she would have a house that had high ceilings, large windows for light and plenty of room. None of this spiral staircase and long hallways business. She would have a house that would always be full of light.

Her stomach churned and her head throbbed. She hated drinking but she hated being sober more.

Valentine's Day automatically turned into Ladies' Night so there were free drinks on the house. She went to the Diabolical to check on things early on. There were usually crimes of passion committed on this commercial holiday that were both normal and supernatural. She was pretty sure that she needed to keep an eye on her bar and the rest of Metro Manila.

When she was going through the account books, she was visited by an unlikely guest who bore unexpected news.

Alexandra hated herself for her weakness. She hated herself so much. She despised her weakness, her humanness and her traitorous heart.

When she received the news from the messenger, she was cool and collected. She pretended that she was an ice queen, a maiden made of snow. But when he left, she'd clenched her fists so tightly that crescent moon marks bloomed in her palms and rivulets of blood trickled down her wrists.

So she'd bade the Kambal and Hank goodbye way too early.

They noticed the change in her demeanor and felt the subtle shift of her mood. But they didn't bother to stop her.

Sometimes, women needed to be alone. She wanted to be left alone. She needed to mourn her own loss in isolation.

But she'd known that the Kambal would check on her in the early morning hours when she'd fallen asleep. They thought that she wouldn't notice but she'd always known. Her boys had grown up into fine, reliable guardians.

She'd gone to Quezon City to buy alcohol, chips, soft drinks and a pack of cigarettes because she didn't want anyone to recognize her. She'd even worse a face mask. She bought cheap whiskey and salty chips to go with it. Then she drove herself home to that dark ancestral house in the heart of old Manila.

It was a fine thought that she was going to drink alone at her house with ghosts of her family as her companions.

If she wasn't so angry and sad, she would have laughed.

Even the chosen ones need a day for themselves. Even the last babaylan and the last hope of humanity needed one night for herself. Even the almighty Alexandra Trese wanted to be just a heartbroken woman for one night.

So Alexandra set up her table with whiskey, chips, a shot glass, an ashtray and a cold glass of Sarsi in the garden set in her terrace. She opened the bottle and poured the amber-colored liquid liberally into the ground.

"For the ones who've gone ahead," she whispered reverently.Once the old ritual was completed, she poured herself a shot. Then she lit up a cigarette and started to smoke.

The full moon slowly climbed up to her zenith in the smoggy sky of Metro Manila. She stared at it without seeing it. It was a night of magic, mystery and procreation. That was for sure.

So Alexandra drank as much alcohol as she could stomach. She was neither a seasoned drinker nor budding alcoholic so it didn't take much for her to get good and drunk. When she knew that she'd finally loosened her vice grip on her self-control, she started to cry.

It was a good thing that her house stood in the middle of a lot so none of her neighbors heard her howls, her growls and her weeping. It was the middle of the night and she was all alone.

When she knew that she couldn't drink anymore, she decided to go upstairs.

So there she was in the middle of the staircase and stumbling on her way up.

"Alex, are you okay? Do you need help?"

Hearing his voice rise out of the darkness made her recoil in shock. She didn't need night vision to see his face clearly in the darkness. The five o'clock shadow on his strong chin, his gentle brown eyes and his tender smile. He was standing in front of her in her house like he was meant to be there.

"What are you doing here?" she croaked out. He watched her lean slowly towards the wall as if her strength had left her body. "Bantay, you're not supposed to be here."

A small grin leapt up to his lips. "I used to come here every day with my pack. I know this place better than you. This used to be my home too."

But I didn't want you to see me like this. "Couldn't you have waited until tomorrow?" she snapped. "We were planning to congratulate you properly at the bar!"

Bantay's smile became sad. "I couldn't tell you in person so I sent Juancho. But I realized that you deserved to hear it from me."

"What do you want me to say?" Alex couldn't stop the tears from forming in her eyes. She was so angry right now! "Congratulations on your wedding? Is that it?"

He stepped aside as she rushed up the stairs without bothering to block her. The faintest scent of sampaguita, ylang-ylang, sweat and cheap wine whiffed up to him. His nostrils flared; he couldn't help himself when his animal instincts took over.

Alex stopped walking midway when she felt his hand catch her wrist. She marveled at his firm touch, his calloused fingers and his warmth… His hands radiated heat and she wanted to curl up next to him. It was a desire so strong that she caught herself before she did something she would regret.

Bantay pulled her and she went to him as helpless as a ragdoll. She blinked when she realized that he'd backed her up against the wall of the hallway. In the faint moonlight, she could see the faintest outline of his muscular body, his metal arm and his intense gaze.

There was regret, desire and love in his eyes. She couldn't look away. Oh! How she wanted to avert her gaze before he saw the same things. She froze and felt his hand on her left cheek. Her body hummed in response as he caressed the side of her face lovingly. She felt something hot rising at the pit of her stomach and she belatedly realized that it was desire.

He might have known that she would be weak right now but she was still drunk and angry. She was drunk so she could excuse her actions later.

Bantay was surprised when she kissed him. He didn't try to stop himself from kissing her back or when he pushed her up against the wall. Pure animal instinct took over them.

Was it love?

Was it lust?

Was it something else that drove them to consummate a long-standing desire?

Alex didn't care. For once in her life, she wanted to claim something for herself. She wanted to have him right here, right now.

She'd loved him since she was a teenager and she'd watched over him as he met that woman. Her dark eyes didn't miss their easy manners around each other or the future that was meant for them. She'd known in her heart that they belonged to each other. His love was for her, her love was for him and none of it was for Alex.

So she stepped back and allowed Fate to run its course.

Yet here they were…

She shut her eyes tightly. Please, please let me get what I want. This time. Please, just this time.

It was a good thing that her house was far from the street and the neighbors that night. Alex would never be able to explain the howling and the supernatural sounds coming from her house on the night of Valentine's Day.