- 17 You can't be neutral on a moving train (3)

"Besides, one should wait until marriage before embracing a sexual life," Mimosa emphasized, punctuating her statement with a self-assured nod.

"I made my man wait a whole year before we consummated our relationship. I put him through countless tests before I allowed him into my bed," Anemona boasted, chiming in with her own perspective on sexual restraint.

Marie-Rose, however, dared to challenge this notion. "What's the point of preserving your purity if, after marriage, you're indulging in 'dirty' things?" she retorted, her voice laced with defiance. "Is the whole point to deny oneself gratification before marriage, only to unleash it all afterward? Or perhaps the elders believe that youngsters should indulge in a bit of self-gratification before taking their vows?" Marie-Rose's words hung in the air, daring anyone to challenge her unconventional viewpoint.

Moreover, she had little indulgence for tests. For Marie-Rose, it was a matter of either placing absolute trust in your partner or refraining from entering a relationship altogether.

"You know, my grandfather cheated on my grandma," Mimosa began, her voice laced with a hint of bitterness. "You can never trust men. They would easily cheat on you; they can never be loyal."

"I've heard some people even cheat on their spouses or partners in their mind," Mimosa continued, a calculated edge to her words, "imagining different scenes with the object of their obsessive desires. Just like writers do." With this thinly veiled jab, she laid the groundwork for her next move, preparing to tarnish Marie-Rose's reputation before delivering the final blow. "Just keep that in mind when you pen your little fantasies."

Marie-Rose's heart sank, a mix of hurt and helplessness rippling across her features. The truth was, she only ever put into words her real intimate experiences, unable to conjure up fictional scenarios even if she tried. Even her infatuation with Jayden never translated into imaginary dalliances.

"You know, that boy you have a crush on and that you write about," Mimosa's voice cut through Marie-Rose's reflections, delivering what she believed to be a sharp reality check. "You stand no chance with him. So you better leave him alone and focus on your own life."

With a smug tilt to her chin, she thought she was leagues prettier than Marie-Rose. Mimosa couldn't resist the urge to underscore her superiority, making it clear that no man would ever be drawn to someone like her rival.

Mimosa's words stung, leaving Marie-Rose grappling with the harsh reality of having to hide the person for whom she truly had feelings. It was for Jayden's sake.

"That's exactly what I do, I write about my own experiences," Marie-Rose's casual remark only fueled Mimosa's growing resentment. She despised Marie-Rose for more than just her perceived sexual prowess; in Mimosa's mind, Marie-Rose was engaging in daily trysts, possibly even thrice a day.

The mere thought of it kindled an intense loathing within her, one she could hardly contain. Yet, little did Mimosa know that her assumptions were far from accurate.

Mimosa's frustration had reached a fever pitch, her own abstinence gnawing at her so fiercely that she found herself experiencing unexpected orgasms even during her daily runs. Nights were no respite, as she grappled with tantalizingly vivid wet dreams that featured her own brother. It was a maddening cycle that left her both ashamed and infuriated.

'She's just creating illusions to compensate for her own rejection,' Mimosa concluded, her lip curling in a derisive smirk. 'The blonde clearly turned her down, and she couldn't handle the blow. Did she honestly believe he would choose her? He'll find someone his own age, someone he can actually connect with.'

"Your stupid concept of love fades after three years," the woman snapped, clearly irked by Marie-Rose's unconventional viewpoint in the novel. "You know, you could always turn to porn to reignite your love life."

Recalling her writing about waiting three years before marriage and adhering to ancient love rituals, Marie-Rose couldn't shake the idea that a couple should refrain from tying the knot until after this extended period.

She firmly believed that it took three years to discern whether a union had the potential for long-term success. However, her musings had never involved abstaining from sexual intimacy; rather, she believed in harnessing the raw passion that often accompanies the early stages of a relationship.

"What if I don't want to?" Marie-Rose challenged, refusing to bow to society's standard methods for spicing up a relationship.

"A friend of mine shared that she met a man on vacation who asked her for nudes. Since then, her sexual connection with her husband has thrived, and now she's the one initiating intimacy with her husband. And the sex is mind-blowing," the woman revealed, presenting her case with a hint of vindication.

On her part, Marie-Rose had grown weary of trying to convince her interlocutors:

"What's the point to persuade someone to engage in sexual relations with you? If the desire was never present or is no longer present, I see no reason to rekindle it."

Yet, her experiences with Alexandre had been vastly different. Despite their rich and passionate physical relationship, he had never truly loved her, merely reaping the benefits of their encounters. Her heart had simply fallen for him, while he had merely lusted after her.

Moreover, the therapy didn't align with her initial expectations, and despite the guidance of an expert, its outcome failed to bring her true satisfaction.

For Alexandre, intimacy had been a struggle, the result of a tumultuous upbringing in an abusive family. Yet, when he met Marie-Rose, he was so captivated by her that he couldn't help but lust after her.

In the end, her role was reduced to helping him get over his fears by offering herself as a testing ground.

"I'd always refuse to initiate sex with a man who never loved me, or who I no longer love," Marie-Rose concluded, a hint of defiance tingeing her voice, as she also alluded to some other persons than Alexandre.

"Well, in your novel, the characters did engage in a threesome," the woman pointed out, her tone laced with accusation. It was true, Marie-Rose had included such scenes in her writing, but she had never experienced such encounters in real life.

"It was just a common fantasy of the readers that I wrote about," Marie-Rose clarified, refusing to be drawn into any unnecessary judgments. "Besides, I'm not into threesomes," she maintained.

Nevertheless, it was undeniably true that she had always yearned for a connection of the heart. And that heart had come to embody Jayden in her life. The mere thought of losing him was unbearable; she couldn't fathom being with anyone else.

No one would possess Jayden's exact appearance, and even if they did, they wouldn't possess the same irresistible charm and alluringly mischievous personality of a devil that had captivated her so completely.

The women exchanged glances, each one seemingly mulling over Marie-Rose's assertions.

"Well, Alexandre is much younger than you. There are plenty of young girls out there for him to choose from. Don't you think he might eventually leave you for someone younger?" Barbara pressed, her words dripping with skepticism.

"I suppose nobody leaves a relationship if it's a good one," Marie-Rose shot back, her voice tinged with defiance. "People leave when they find valid reasons to walk away, when the relationship no longer serves them."

The retort only served to aggravate the woman further. It was common knowledge that she had recently been left by her husband, not for a younger woman, but because he had grown weary of her constant criticisms and caustic tongue.

"I don't believe in divorce. My ex-husband hasn't managed to find a better woman," Barbara retorted, her words laden with a sense of self-righteousness. She was convinced that Marie-Rose's remarks were intentionally aimed at her, failing to realize how her own habit of lashing out and insulting those around her had left a trail of hurt in its wake.

Unbeknownst to her, her words had inflicted a fresh wound on another woman in the room, Margarita, one of the heads of the department and a friend of Marie-Rose. Margarita was in the process of divorcing her own husband, and she couldn't help but feel as if the blonde's comments were a subtle allusion to her situation.

"And about that novel of yours, with the older female lead..." Barbara continued, her voice carrying a note of condescension. "You know it's a tad disconnected from reality. Men are only drawn to younger women."

Ironically, the novel had been inspired by real events. Margarita's husband had cheated on her with a younger woman, yet had adamantly refused to grant her a divorce. His bitterness extended to trying to sabotage Margarita's newfound happiness. Now, she had found love with a younger man, someone eighteen years her junior, despite being a little over forty herself.

"You know even that famous actor is only seen with women under 25. It's a clear message to older women that their time is up. Men always have plenty of options," the lady added, bolstering her argument with what she considered to be hard evidence. However, it contradicted her previous statement regarding her ex-husband. Couldn't the man find a twenty-something hottie, or was he exempt from the rule applying to Alexandre?

"Perhaps the issue lies with the men, not the women," Marie-Rose countered, unable to hold her tongue. "Maybe those young women are naive enough to be with an older man because they lack experience, but I doubt they'd stay if he couldn't perform." Her own words felt like a defense, especially as she caught Margarita's earlier frown, likely assuming she had drawn inspiration from her tumultuous experience.

"I was just curious... who served as your inspiration for the character?" the woman pressed, her tone insistent.

Marie-Rose held her ground, offering a diplomatic response. "That's my personal business, but for the sake of clarity, nobody in particular. I crafted the character from my own imagination."

"When I was in my teenage years, it wasn't uncommon for us to develop crushes on our teachers," she began, hoping to share a relatable anecdote. "We would often imagine some of them as our personal male or female models. It was a natural part of growing up. So, I don't see anything wrong with what I wrote in the novel."

In truth, Marie-Rose wanted to uplift Margarita, to offer her some comfort amid the subtly targeted remarks.

She couldn't help but wonder if perhaps they had been too young back then, too naive to fully grasp the intricacies of attraction to other individuals. She understood now that there were certain archetypes, certain personalities that could captivate regardless of age. However, that didn't mean that one would feel drawn to every older individual.

Margarita, she realized, happened to possess a striking beauty. It was no wonder that younger men found themselves drawn to her.

The blonde's smirk deepened as a mischievous idea suddenly materialized in her mind.

"But why do all of your characters have six-pack abs?" she prodded, her tone tinged with sly amusement. "Aren't you a proponent of diversity and non-discrimination?"

Marie-Rose pondered for a moment, considering her response carefully. "Well, that's different," she clarified, her voice unwavering. "Workplace diversity and non-discrimination are vital, but when it comes to my writing, I want to portray the kind of people my readers and myself find appealing."

"But you know, Alexandre will eventually develop a paunch as he gets older," the blonde quipped, her words an attempt to rattle Marie-Rose's conviction.

"I would still love him, paunch and all," Marie-Rose declared, her mind involuntarily drifting to thoughts of Jayden. She was certain that her feelings for him would transcend any physical changes, even if he were to develop a softer midsection. After all, he already had a beginning of a tummy.

The truth was, this sentiment applied to any man she genuinely loved. If she was truly in love with someone, she was prepared to grow old alongside them.

On the other hand, she was certain that both Alexandre and Jayden would maintain their slim, beautiful figures as they aged.

However, no one could coerce her into accepting an aging man she didn't have feelings for. Cezar, their boss, came to mind as she contemplated this. Though the man was her age, his look had more of a sugar daddy vibe when standing beside her.

As the conversation shifted, the blonde seized upon an earlier topic.

"Speaking of falling for a teacher, it seems you fell for a mere picture. Isn't that the same as falling for someone online? You've always claimed to have no interest in online relationships. Yet, here you are, smitten with a mere image."

Recognizing the direction in which the conversation was headed, Marie-Rose swiftly replied, "I could never fall in love with just a picture." Her denial was firm, though she couldn't help but feel a pang of affliction deep within.

"We know you did. We know you fancy Dr. Patrice," the fervent admirer blurted out at an utterly inappropriate moment, her revelation hanging in the air like an unwanted confession. "I wanted to give you a heads-up that I'll be attending the Cologne conference where Dr. Patrice is a guest." Her voice, tinged with a hint of superiority, seemed to leave no room for negotiation. I hate her so much, in other words.

"I might just take the chance to get to know him better. Please don't hold any grudges against me. You know deep down you don't stand a chance. You're not even in the running," she asserted, her conviction unwavering, leaving Marie-Rose without a word in response.

"Good luck with that," Marie-Rose replied eventually, smiling for a reason only known to her. "I could never fall in love with a picture".