2-Naked bodyguards, black widow

Oswald was smiling happily, the visitors outside thought he was a madman who escaped from arkham

Oswald then looked at the two penguins that didn't shit

"My little friends, time to shit" Oswald

Unfortunately, he didn't have the super power to control the digestive system of birds.

Giving up, Oswald left and went to see the other birds in the store in the hope that he could also pop shit bubbles.

Unfortunately, their strange system only worked on Penguin.

"You girl come here" Oswald told his hot female employee

Discouraged girl went to listen to her ugly boss

"From today increase the penguins' meals" Oswald

"Increase how many? they eat 3 times a day" the girl said

"3 times a day? well then now increase it to 75 times a day" Oswald

"75 times? that's not possible boss" the girl

"Nonsense, look how skinny these little guys are, 75 times a day" Oswald

"But boss this..." The girl

"Rictusempra!" oswald

The girl didn't understand the strange language, but she felt an enormous urge to laugh.

"Hum...ha....HaHahahahahaha" the busty young clerk started laughing nonstop

Oswald felt in awe of her magic, he watched the young clerk giggle as her large breasts swayed in her uniform.

"look mom, that girl is laughing at the man who looks like a penguin"

"that's why you should study, otherwise you'll be rude like that girl"

--------------

2 hours passed, the young employee had to go to the doctor, it seems that laughing nonstop for two hours is not healthy

Another employee took her place to look after the Penguins and finally explained to Oswald that if the penguins eat too much they will become obese and die.

Oswald didn't take it very well, after all this is a fantasy world with superheroes, why wouldn't a Penguin live if he ate 75 times a day?

Finally, he was able to increase the meal to 6 times a day.

Oswald decided to use his million to buy new penguins, the problem is where the hell his mother bought 5 penguins

"Is this shit even legal? Fuck it, maybe that's the benefit of being a canon character"

As I was thinking, finally the two remaining Penguins defecated

One white bubble and one green

"Starting today, I want to be notified whenever the penguins defecate ok" Oswald

"....okay" the employee

Oswald smiled and entered the icy environment again.

*white shit bubble pops, you get a regular bodyguard*

"bodyguard? where is it?" Oswald was confused when suddenly something came out of the water.

A tall and muscular man came out completely naked from the water, without thinking too much he knelt down in front of Oswald

"Boss....how cold is this..."

"Fucking system, where's the description"

The naked muscular man caught the attention of visitors

"Fuck, get that man some clothes..." Oswald yelled

Soon an employee came in with a coat and took the muscular man to the security room.

"Fucking system, will I have to close shop to pick bubbles?" oswald

"... well thought fuck it, this world has killer clowns so naked people appearing out of nowhere won't draw attention" Oswald touched the green bubble

*popped green shitty bubble, you get unusual bodyguards*

"shit, here we go again"

in the water, a beautiful red-haired woman came out, completely naked, her perfect body on display.

"she...isn't she scarlett johansson?...fucking black widow"