Rough Feelings

"I'm telling you! She dated her for… two years. And she loves her!" Tilda was in the full freaking out mode.

    "Okay. But you did too."

    "And she slept with her!" Tilda paced around the room.

    "Okay. But you did it too, too."

    "It's not like I don't trust her or anything but…"

    "You don't trust her."

    "What? Pfft―I do!" Tilda looked at Oliver as if he's crazy. "I trust my mate. That's how it's supposed to be!"

    "Aha! Right there!"

    "What?"

    "You're not supposed to trust anyone," Oliver said calmly.

    "Okay?"

    "Tilda." Oliver sighed. "It's okay to be a little skeptical. You know your mate for less than a day and you went through a whole lot of situations that are suitable for a month. It's okay to feel insecure while meeting someone who knows your mate better than you."

    Tilda stopped and finally sat on the ground of the inside training room. "Yeah. You're right. I just feel like… I don't even know what I feel like anymore. And I always do. Most of the time."

    "Then it's one of the times that you don't know how you feel," Oliver said. "You know that it's also okay to not know everything, right?"

    "Of course, I do," Tilda said. "But ever since we were kids, people always told us stories about our other halves. That one day they will come and KABOOM! We will live happily ever after. I guess it was just not… what I expected."

    "I know what you mean." Oliver sighed.

    "WAIT WHAT?"

    "I―I mean I understand what you're talking about." Oliver stammered and his nose turned red.

    "Your nose is red!" Tilda shouted and pointed an accusingly finger toward him. "Oh, my fucking god! You found your mate and you didn't tell me!? Who is she? Or he? Or them?"

    "Drop it." Oliver shrugged. "It really doesn't matter."

    "Of fucking course, it matters!" Tilda couldn't believe it. They always told each other everything so how come Oliver found his mate and didn't tell her. "I don't understand why you didn't say it. It's not like I will have a bad reaction. I already know you're pansexual."

    "It's not that easy," Oliver said.

    "It was never easy." Tilda dead-panned. "Do you even remember a time when our life even looked easy? It was always fucking hard and it always will be. Shouldn't we at least have someone to share this with?"

    "You just shared yours and I just shared mine." Oliver grinned. "Let's not share anything anymore."

    "Shut up bitch you didn't share anything," Tilda said. "You just gave it away and it was not on purpose!"

    "It's the same." Oliver dismissed her. "Plus, he doesn't even know that I'm his mate."

    "So, it's a he!" Tilda said and Oliver groaned. "But seriously, why didn't you tell him? How in the world did he not notice? Were you afraid of rejection?"

    "I just don't want him." Oliver shrugged.

    "So, you are going to reject him?" Tilda's eyes couldn't grow any larger. "Oliver River Blair with your fucking stupid name! Are you going to reject your mate?"

    "No."

    "Okay, I'm confused. Care to explain?" Tilda sighed when Oliver looked at anywhere but her.

    "I said it." Oliver sighed too and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's very complicated and as much as I love the idea of a mate, this will be too much at this moment."

    Tilda looked at him. Oliver looked so tired and she never saw him like this. "Is it my fault? Was I not a good best friend so you can't talk about it with me?"

    "No, god no, Tilly," Oliver said and looked horrified but more in a pleasing way. "I guess I do want him but… not now. You didn't realize it these three days with your mate in the hospital and today you didn't have time with your mate finally awake. We've got a lot of papers coming from the Royal pack. They are not just going to let a pack as powerful as this sit here without knowing where their loyalty lay."

    "The Royal pack?" Tilda growled. "What the fuck do they want? They send a freaking agent every month and I said I'm okay with them checking my territory. There can't be a problem right now of all times!"

    "That's the thing!" Oliver said. "You just found your mate and believe it or not, words spread fast. This is the best time for the Royals to take control."

    "Oh, my goddess…" Tilda sighed and sprawled on the floor. "I've been so careless. Of fucking course they're gonna plot against us when they hear that the Alpha is distressed."

    "Yes, well, a pack with half of the gifted werewolf community does not sound peaceful to them," Oliver said. "We never even said or did anything to show that we don't agree with the Royals or that we want to take their crappy crown!"

    Tilda could feel a headache approaching her. It wasn't that bad when her mother was the Alpha but all the problems started when she got the Alpha title after her mother's murder.

    "Don't." Oliver suddenly warned.

    "What?" Tilda looked at him again.

    "I can see you go all oh-god-is-it-my-fault-that-the-pack-is-in-so-much-deep-fucking-trouble and just so you know, no it's not. You got the title when you were fifteen. What is easier than targeting a teenager who they thought knows nothing about the ruling?"

    "Okay," Tilda said and laughed quietly. "You're not going to tell me who is your mate?"

    "I think I will give you a hint." Oliver laughed. "I hate him. But I also won't mind learning to love him. That's why it's complicated. And I think he hates me too and I don't want to be unstable when we are going through so much already."

    "Aww come here," Tilda said.

    Oliver laughed and crawled on the floor and laid her head on Tilda's lap. They used to do it when they were kids. Whenever one of them was sad, the other would hug them and they would just pretend that everything's okay. They eventually stopped when they got the Alpha and Beta title and for the first year, unlike many other Alpha and Beta pairs, they grew apart.

    That was because they had many duties as the young pair but then without even realizing it, they just fell back to the same friendship rhythm that they had.

    Now sitting on the floor like they used to always do, Oliver cried and Tilda was just simply there to brush the tears away.