17

Chapter Seventeen: Date.

Severus woke to the sound of wings flapping, a soft lump falling on his back. He knew it was Fawkes, so he didn't bother looking up. The bird was clearly awake and wanting attention, though, walking up his back and picking up strands of hair and pulling on them.

Snape grimaced, pushing his face out of the pillow and eyeing the bird in warning. Fawkes just tilted his head and chirped.

"Fine," muttered the Potions master, moving onto his back. Fawkes had become his own personal alarm so to say. The bird woke at the crack of dawn which was fairly easy for him to hear as he was a light sleeper and he was able to get up and ready before school started.

Today, however, was the weekend. That didn't mean the professors here at Hogwarts had weekends like the students did, though. He'd still be grading papers, fixing up lessons and, if need be, he'd be on the lookout for more potion ingredients.

Of course, all of that could be done when he chose to do it, it didn't mean today was an actual work day. And that meant that he didn't have to get up when Fawkes did.

Settling himself against the pillows, Fawkes sat on his stomach atop the covers, and he let his arm slip from beneath the sheet to pat the bird.

"He really likes you, doesn't he?"

Severus' eyes shot to the voice that spoke, seeing no other than a half dressed Harry Potter lying beside him.

Jolting awake, Severus found himself panting, immediately looking beside him. The bed was empty, making him relax. It was just a dream. A… strange and awkward dream that had Harry Potter half naked in the bed with him, giving him a very awkward erection.

He looked across the room to see Fawkes with his head snuggled in between the tops of his wings. His eyes sleepily opened as if to check everything was okay, but when he saw that everything was fine he closed them again.

Severus, however, could not get back to sleep. Instead, he immediately pushed the sheets from the bed away and got dressed. By the time he was done, Fawkes was stretching a leg and wing in sync with one another, obviously awake.

He walked over to the bird, tucking a pocket watch into his pocket and adjusting his sleeve before stroking the fiery feathers. If he were any kind of sentimental man, he would have apologised for waking the phoenix up, but he didn't. Fawkes was already leaning into the attentions which made Severus know it was fine.

When he was done, he opened the door that separated his chambers from his office and walked inside, leaving it open in case Fawkes wished to come out. He made himself a cup of tea before sitting in the lounge beside the fire that he lit with a wave of his hand.

The dream he had clung onto him like a wet cloth, though, and it bothered him. Harry had been quite attractive in his dream, of course, and the young man looked very nice in the morning light. His skin was soft, pale, like most Englishman—although still darker than his own skin, but that was to be expected. Snape wasn't known for being in the sunlight.

It did make him know that the urges were getting stronger, and soon enough they may even be uncontrollable. Should he just come out and tell Harry how he really did feel? But it felt so wrong! But so right at the same time. It was all so confusing.

He thought he'd just end up dying alone, like the life he'd lived, but… what if this was an opportunity for him to actually mean something to someone else? More than just a pawn or a spy, but something more? Could he honestly take that chance?

At the same time, Snape had become accustomed to being alone—with the exception of Fawkes and his previous bird. He'd lived a life of solitude and orders. The only company he'd really had were Death Eaters who he ended up despising. Sure, there were the teachers here at Hogwarts as well, but he enjoyed his time alone, getting work done, working on new potions. Or at least he thought he did. But opening his feelings again? After Lily, it felt like such a big risk. One that he didn't want to take just to get rejected again. He'd lost so much when he lost Lily.

He needed to speak to Potter. He had to explain to him what exactly was going on. He was sure if Harry had told anyone that it would have been Weasley and Granger, and Miss Granger was quite capable of telling Potter what was happening between them, but that didn't make it certain.

He would have to ask. He had to talk to Harry, and this time keep it as civilised as possible. He wanted to know what the Gryffindor Golden Boy wanted to do.

If Potter said he didn't want to continue this, then Snape would step back. They'd already kissed, and Snape considered that was enough for Harry to realise he was drawn to the young man. Surely Harry knew he liked him back, if not by saying it, by their magic feeling it.

He would also have to explain to Potter that if they were to start any kind of relationship that there would be rules—especially involving school. There was no hiding things from Albus Dumbledore, and he always went and told Minerva, but the rest of the staff and the students certainly needn't know. Especially if he were to keep his position and Harry were to finish his studies here.

Yes, today he would go seek out Potter and finally talk to him and try and make everything clear, because right now it was all just a cloud of hot, heated lust and confusion. He would, of course, have to check the boy wasn't going out for the weekend to Hogsmeade or anything.

First, he would finish his tea and then grab some breakfast from the Great Hall. His dream had made him awfully hungry, even if it wasn't for food.

*****

Dressed in his normal Muggle clothes, Harry sat with Ron and Hermione in the Great Hall. Considering it was the weekend, many of the other students had already left Hogwarts to go down to the small villages, and some of them were still asleep. That didn't mean breakfast changed on the weekends, though.

Harry had a bowl of warm porridge in front of him, and Ron was eating bacon and eggs. Hermione had a warm mug of hot chocolate in her palms as the weather was getting much cooler now.

Only some of the teachers were at the High Table, but much to Harry's delight, Snape was there. He only stole a small glance of the man, but that was because he didn't want Ron and Hermione asking about it.

Ron hadn't asked anything else about last night, and Harry was okay with that. He hardly wanted to talk sex with Ron. As strange as it sounded, it was actually more comfortable to talk to Hermione about personal things. Probably because the both of them had grown up in a Muggle world. She was a lot more understanding as well.

When their breakfast was gone and the dishes were removed, they finally decided to go outside into the courtyard. It was cold, but at least the sun was out today, and they were able to sit on the stone seats.

Harry could hear Hermione asking Ron about how much homework he was going to get done over this weekend. Ron was trying to protest, but he knew eventually the boy would cave. His mind, however, was somewhere else.

Coming out of the castle, he saw Professor Snape. Immediately, he wondered what Snape had done yesterday after they had kissed. Did Snape completely regret it? Or… would he want to go further? Well, the man was walking his way, so maybe he was about to find out. He did wish he was by himself when he saw Ron and Hermione look up, though.

"Potter, can I have a word with you?" Snape said, completely keeping his eyes off the other two students. If Potter had told them what happened… and he was pretty sure he probably had, that just made him feel horribly awkward.

"Yeah, sure," Harry said, more than eager to be alone with the man again. Maybe something even better would happen.

"This might take some time, so if you have other plans for the day, it can wait," suggested the Slytherin, which was oddly polite for him when it came to Potter.

Harry shook his head, standing from his seat. "No, it's fine, Professor," he smiled, looking back to his friends. "I'll meet you guys in the library later, okay?" When Ron and Hermione nodded, he followed Snape across the courtyard.

The Professor was quiet for most of the time until they reached somewhere secluded, but still in the sunlight. Harry was surprised Snape wasn't dragging him down to the dungeons or somewhere else. But he had to admit, he was glad he didn't, because Snape looked very nice out in the sunlight.

Eventually, Snape stopped and so did he. He wanted to jump at the urge and ask about yesterday and if Snape had enjoyed it, or if he was just going to scold him over the whole thing. Hell, it hadn't been his fault, Snape had been the one to make a move! He just followed, and enjoyed it very, very much.

"Potter, I wanted to discuss the events of yesterday," Severus finally spoke, leaning a hand against the willow tree that he'd decided was a good enough and secluded area. He could still see if someone was going to come their way, and it was out of the sunlight while still being outside. He figured Potter was an outside kind of person. After all, he was a Gryffindor and had played Quidditch.

Harry nodded gently. "I know, you're going to say don't ever talk about it again and that it was a mistake, aren't you?" he said, his voice heavy in disappointment. Now that they were alone again, he could feel their magic already getting rather strong, but it did seem more subdued than usual. He wondered if that was because of the kiss they'd shared yesterday.

Severus put his hands behind his back and shook his head. "No, that was not what I was going to say," he said, Harry's green eyes meeting with his in surprise. He smirked a little, but kept it hidden rather well.

"Clearly our magic has… connected and formed some kind of bond. I don't know if you understand anything about this particular Ancient Magic, but if you've discussed the happenings with your friends, I assume Miss Granger has informed you what it may mean."

Harry felt his cheeks warm a little. "Sorry… I probably shouldn't have, but, yes, Hermione told me a bit about it. I don't know how much more there is to know, and I'm sure there's things she doesn't want to talk to me about, but yes. I know some things."

Of course Granger would know all about it. Severus mentally rolled his eyes. "I don't expect you to keep secrets, Potter, I'm well aware of what you've gotten up to in the past," he said sharply. "But you do understand that it is against the rules of Hogwarts that a professor and a student pursue a relationship. More specifically… a romantic relationship."

Once more, Harry felt his cheeks warm and he averted his eyes from Snape, his heart beginning to palpitate. "I-I know, yeah," he murmured, his eyes going to the ground. But his chin was brought up, his senses prickling as Snape's hand touched him and lifted his chin so he would look at him. Harry didn't object.

"What do you want, Harry?" Snape asked. He'd thought about it a long time, and he knew deep down that he did want a relationship with Harry. As much as he'd wanted to hide it and force it away, his magic wouldn't allow him. He'd hated it, and it would take him a long time to ever come to terms with liking James Potter's son, but this was out of his control with his magic.

Yesterday had only been the beginning of what could happen to them! And though their magic was behaving today (simply because of yesterday's kiss), it didn't mean it would stay that way. He knew it would come back again and again until they made their relationship consummated. Through intimacy.

At the sound of his first name, Harry felt his cheeks blush once more. Snape was actually asking him? But… surely he already knew he liked him! He'd told him, not to mention he'd tried to get his pants off yesterday!

All of a sudden, he became rather confident in what he wanted. He wanted Severus Snape, the man that had been protecting him since the day he'd come to Hogwarts. The head of Slytherin and Potions master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The man he'd been bickering with since he came here.

"I'm afraid what I want is against the rules, Professor…" he finally said, Snape's hand leaving him. He was disappointed when the sense of magic disappeared from him, but he continued to watch the rather unreadable expression that Snape had on his face.

Snape gave a simple nod—despite the wave of emotions that slapped him across the face that Harry Potter, the wizard he'd picked on profusely through the years, had some kind of feelings for him.

"Potter, you must realise that if we carry on a relationship that we must be discreet. If any student or professor suspects such a thing, the both of us could lose our positions here at Hogwarts."

Harry's eyes widened in surprise. Snape actually wanted a relationship? Harry's heart was thumping now, flipping circles in his chest, and he was positive Snape could feel it through their magic.

"Wait," he said, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair, "you're… you want to be… with me? You… actually like me?" he asked. He tried not to laugh or anything, but his insides were jumping with pure delight! He felt almost hysterical! This was not something that he ever would have thought possible.

Severus found himself looking away from Harry rather awkwardly. Well, he'd admitted it to himself, but that didn't mean he actually liked saying it. It made him seem sentimental when he didn't honestly see himself as that kind of person.

"I would have thought yesterday's event had spoken for itself," he said, looking back to Harry, who seemed to have gone a rather satisfying shade of pink in the cheeks. Severus didn't think himself as a truly sadistic man, he could easily just disregard things that he had to when working. But he did enjoy the sight of Harry blushing so easily. His mind could be cruel, he could be cruel, but it didn't mean he would ever hurt someone unless he thought they'd deserved it.

Swallowing hard, Harry grinned almost stupidly, running a hand against the back of his neck. "Then what do we do? You said we can't be seen, I mean… well, it is a weekend, and I'd really like to actually talk to you more." It all came out in a very bad jumble of words and Harry found himself looking at a rather scrutinising Snape.

"Calm down, Potter," the Slytherin smirked, putting his hand onto Harry's shoulder. "I would like to do this properly."

"Properly?" Harry gave a look of confusion. He really knew nothing about being in a relationship. Sure, he'd been with Ginny, but… she was a girl, and he could easily just grab a bunch of flowers and present them to her. This was Snape! He… didn't even know what the man liked to do in his spare time, let alone know how to be in a relationship with him. This was so awkward!

"Considering how it may look if we were out in public, I do apologise that it isn't exactly your desired location, but I would like if you joined me in my lounge for a drink," Snape said, giving a light shrug as if it were little to nothing—despite the fact he was expecting rejection after rejection after rejection.

Harry, on the other hand, felt his head pound at the thought of joining Snape. "Um… like a date?" he asked, seeing the professor tense at the word. Harry smiled a little. Snape wasn't all just cold, bitter and snarky remarks, he was definitely awkward and probably just as nervous. He just didn't show it as easily.

"I wouldn't call it that…" said Severus, brushing a lock of hair swiftly from his face.

"But it is, right?"

"Fine, a date, Potter. Whatever you want to call it. Do you want to attend or not?" snapped the Potions master.

Harry grinned, enjoying flustering the man. He may be shy, but he had a feeling Severus Snape wasn't as brutal as he made himself out to be. "Sure, I'd love to, Professor. Um… do I still call you that?"

"I think it would be best kept formally in public, but if you wish, you may call me by my first name in private." He still rather enjoyed the fact that Potter would call him 'Professor'. Plus, they were used to the formal terms, so he wasn't expecting either of them to change to a first name status in a day.

"Well… it's the weekend, and we're alone, Severus," Harry said, testing the name against his tongue almost snake-like. To be honest, it wasn't the first time he'd ever said it, but still. He didn't make it a thing to call Snape by his first name.

The Potions master just gave the Gryffindor a flat look. "Seven tonight, Potter," he stated, moving past Harry to head back inside. Harry had no idea what talking like a snake did to Slytherins. After Nagini, Severus may not be as fond of snakes as he once was, but he was still a pure Slytherin.

"Professor," Harry started, turning and following him, "should I… bring something? I've um… never really gone on a date before."

Severus could have laughed considering it was his first 'date' as well. "The elves can take care of that, Potter, you don't need to trouble yourself. It's just a drink…"

"You mean date," Harry grinned.

Snape rolled his eyes, frowning. "Potter," he grumbled in warning, the boy just giving him that damn cheeky grin of his. Snape did mentally smile at it, much enjoying the sight of Harry being more relaxed around him.

"You may return to your friends now, Potter. I will see you this evening."

"I'd like to walk back with you," said Harry, looking up awkwardly for a moment, "That's—erm—if you don't mind, sir."

Severus just looked at the young man for a moment. He was very new to this whole thing, and he'd changed since he was a young boy himself. He didn't forget how shy and willing he was around Lily Evans, but he found it hard to give into his more childish side these days.

He did give a small nod, though. "If you wish. I am headed back to the castle anyway, I suppose it wouldn't be too tedious."

"Hey, you're the one that kissed me, sir."

To that, Snape swallowed hard, and he did feel the blood inside his body go to his pale cheeks. "Well… let's just… get back inside, shall we?"

Harry grinned in surprise at the small colour in Snape's cheeks. "Is that… a blush, Professor Snape?"

"Potter! Just get back inside."

Harry's grin only grew wider. "I didn't think Professor Snape could blush. I think I quite like it."

"Potter, I'm warning you. I am still your superior." Severus felt awfully awkward now, and he quickened his pace across the grounds.

"You should do it more… I like it when you're not so stern," said Harry, trying to keep up. He saw Snape's expression change, and their eyes met as the older man stopped in his tracks. "Sir?"

Severus just eyed the boy, trying to fight the urge to both throttle him and push him to the ground. He just huffed, continuing. "Come, you don't wish to leave your friends waiting."

When Snape started moving again, Harry was able to keep a better pace with him as the professor decided walking slower for a change wasn't so bad. It was quiet for most of the time, but Harry didn't want to push the man any further, or fluster him anymore. He knew things were going to be awkward for a while, but hopefully tonight's date would allow them to open up and get to know each onto on a more personal level.

*****

"A… date!?" Ron said, looking horrified. When Harry had come back, he'd explained what had happened between him and Professor Snape. Hermione seemed more than happy, but he, on the other hand? He didn't know if he could get used to his best friend being with Snape.

"I can't believe he asked…" Hermione's voice was soft, but it held a great deal of excitement. "I knew he had feelings for you, but… You do realise that you two could get into serious trouble for this, don't you!?" Her voice was soft as they were sitting in the library.

Harry shrugged. "It's not like we're doing anything in public. Honestly, Hermione, I think McGonagall and Dumbledore support this."

"How the hell do you know that?" asked Ron.

"Well, when I spoke to Dumbledore's portrait, I got the feeling that he was trying to tell me to continue trying, that Snape liked me back, but was just being stubborn about it. Which was true," Harry stated, a hand coming out. "And Hagrid's been super supportive when we went with him into the Forbidden Forest-,"

"Hagrid knows about this!? Since when!?" Ron's voice had gone rather high at this knowledge and Hermione shushed him, looking around the library.

Harry looked rather guilty as he hadn't told Ron about much of anything when it came to him and Snape. But with the way Ron was acting now, he figured it wouldn't have helped any.

"Well… apparently McGonagall had been talking to him. He told me that when we were in the Forest. Made it pretty clear to keep trying with Snape as well. I sort of thought it was annoying that everyone kept making me try and try, but… I suppose it worked, right?"

"Of course. He's asked you out!"

"Yeah, he doesn't tend to call it a 'date'," Harry said, rolling his eyes as he made quotations marks with his fingers.

Hermione laughed. "Well no. You've got to understand that Snape's not exactly Gryffindor in nature," she smiled. "I still think you should dress nicely, though. And I think you should take something. It would be a nice gesture."

"Hermione, it's just a drink. I'm sure we'll just sit there in utter silence the whole night and awkwardly look around the room or something." Harry gave an aggravated sigh. "I'm actually really nervous about all of this. What if it turns out to be a complete disaster!?"

"It won't, Harry," said the girl, her voice clearly reassuring. "You two have very strong magic, and you have more in common than you think. Just be yourself. Obviously he likes that. Just… be careful if you want to bring up your family or his past."

That hadn't skipped Harry's mind. He knew somewhere down the track he was going to ask about his parents. He knew it might be selfish of him, but he wanted to know about them. He'd try his best to keep Sirius and James out of it, for the sake of bad memories for Snape, but he really did wish to know about his mother—as awkward as it might be considering he knew Snape had feelings for her.

"Don't worry, I'll try my best to keep things civil," Harry reassured. He couldn't help but feel horribly nervous about this, though. The waiting was going to be the worst. He was eager and anxious at the same time. He wanted more than anything to be in the same room as Snape, and yet he was horrified at the same time.

He really hoped everything would go as smooth as possible. He'd just have to wait and see.

*****

After Hermione had helped get him dressed up, Harry was in a dark pinstriped shirt. He didn't really have any nice clothes here, but he found the best he could work with. It was a little long, but Hermione had worked a charm on it so it was more fitting. He only had some black jeans, though. It looked nice enough he figured.

He tried to brush his hair down a little bit, but it didn't help any. He cursed his father's messy hair, but it would have to do. Hermione had also offered making up something to give Snape as a thanks, but Harry honestly knew nothing to what Snape may like. He felt guilty, but he would try and explain it when he was actually there.

It was night time, and most of the students were in their own common rooms. He thanked God for that, because walking down to the dungeons dressed like this would have seemed awfully suspicious…

Eventually, he reached the man's office and knocked on the door. As soon as his knuckles tapped against the surface, he already started feeling like he should just run away. No, Gryffindor's were brave, and they followed their hearts. He could to this. Hell, he'd walked into battle before! But, damnit, he felt like he was sweating up a storm over here.

As the door opened, Harry's eyes looked up to the professor who was out of his usual coat and black robes, wearing a white shirt, cravat still around his neck. Harry swallowed at just how gorgeous the man looked when he had lighter colours on. He had a pair of black trousers on which wasn't anything new, but it went well against his shirt.

When he stepped in, he saw that the back of the office was open, which lead into a small sitting area he was led through, seeing a small table and some chairs inside by the fireplace. He presumed all the teachers offices had their personal quarters in them. Fawkes was sitting on his perch near the fire, looking up gleefully at the sight of Harry.

"You look… really nice, Professor," he murmured, feeling his cheeks go rosy red. He looked down, though, looking at his empty hands. "I-uh… I didn't really know what you would like, so I kinda figured it might be best if I just didn't bring anything. I wanted to, but… well, I just didn't really know what you may like."

At the compliment, Severus tried to brush it away. He wasn't used to taking compliments, and they did make him feel very awkward. He closed the door when Harry stepped in and put a ward on it so no one would disturb him. They could knock, but the door wouldn't open. As much as he'd like no disturbances, he was still a teacher and if a student (or another professor) needed him, he had to tend to the issue—even on weekends.

"I already informed you that you needn't bring anything. The elves have that sorted," he stated, taking Harry's clothes in. He looked absolutely stunning, his green eyes complimented by the dark shirt. Snape very much enjoyed the sight of the young man.

"Take a seat," he offered, Harry walking over and sitting down rather awkwardly. Truth be told, he was feeling just as awkward. He had a feeling Harry was going to ask him personal questions that he didn't want to answer, but if they were going to form some kind of a relationship, then he figured things needed to be exposed. He wouldn't base anything off a lie.

Harry sat down, watching as the plate on the small table filled up with food. The elves clearly had done their work. There was some cake and some pumpkin juice. He didn't expect Snape to give him anything alcoholic. They were on school grounds and he was still a student—even if over the age.

Fawkes happily flew over to him and he greeted him with a gentle pat on the back, Fawkes' feathers fluffing up gently. "He really likes it here, huh?" he asked, Snape taking a seat across from him and crossing a leg over the other. Harry tried desperately not to stare at the man, but it was hard not to. He looked absolutely lovely—not that anyone else would agree with him. He was well aware what others thought of the Head of Slytherin.

"Fawkes has certainly taken an interest to being a Slytherin." The bird looked up and squawked in protest. Snape just smirked.

Harry laughed. "Bright red and orange? I think your House is going to start questioning where your loyalties lie."

Snape leant back a little. "Not the first time, Potter."

Harry looked up, seeing the man looking at him. "Sorry… I didn't mean it like that," he said, frowning gently.

"Don't apologise, Potter, I had my reasons to act the way I did," Severus said, his elbows leaning on the arms of the lounge as he placed his hands together in front of him.

"I assume there are some things you'd wish for me to answer tonight. I offered this-,"

"Date?" Harry smirked.

Severus put his hands down onto the arms of the lounge and glared at the Gryffindor. "I offered you to come here tonight because I know there are things that need to come out into the open. Don't expect me to answer every one of your questions. Our magic may have bonded, but I assure you, it will take time for our personalities to." That was obvious.

Harry didn't object to that. He knew very well that he and Snape weren't always on the same page—if ever, to be honest. Then again, maybe Hermione had been right. Maybe they did have more in common than they thought. They had both been loyal to Dumbledore, and that had to be something.

Putting Fawkes onto the arm of the lounge, Harry leant forward, still feeling horribly awkward. He looked into the fireplace, though, his hands going between his knees. "Why did you become a Death Eater in the first place? I mean… you didn't seem evil in your memories. Death Eaters were bad people, and I think you knew that, but you joined them anyway… Do you really hate Muggleborns?" he asked, eyes going back to the professor.

Snape looked away for a moment, thinking of what to say. He figured the whole Death Eater thing would come up tonight, and he folded his arms so the tattoo on his arm couldn't be seen beneath the white shirt of his.

It was actually rather pathetic, to be honest, how he'd become a Death Eater. He was always interested in the Dark Arts, but that wasn't the real reason why he'd joined. He'd joined because he thought it might impress Lily to be a part of something powerful. He soon found out that was the wrong decision.

"You know I don't hate them, Potter. Your mother was a Muggleborn, and I certainly didn't hate her," he said, looking back to the Gryffindor. "As for joining the Death Eaters… I was young and stupid. I wanted my peers to like me, and it was somewhere I finally felt welcome. I've regretted it for a very long time."

Besides, the Death Eaters had not been as cruel as they had become when they started out. They had stood for many great things as well. Time and the return of the Dark Lord had obviously made things worse for them, but it was not like that at the start.

Harry just looked at the man. "You must have had a reason to join them, though. People don't just join cults because they were stupid. Something had to make you want to join. If it wasn't your hatred for Muggleborns, then what exactly was it?"

Snape was starting to regret this now. He knew Lily would come up, it was inevitable, she was Potter's mother, but that didn't mean he was going to be comfortable talking about it. He didn't want it to be a friction point for them either. He may have loved Lily, and part of him always may, but he did have feelings for Harry, and he didn't want the Gryffindor to feel shadowed by Lily.

Standing up, he moved over to Fawkes who had flown back to his perch, if only to allow him not to look at Harry when he was speaking. "I've always been intrigued by the Dark Arts, it's why I spent years trying to get the position here at Hogwarts. I would have thought I could teach you some useful spells as well, but Dumbledore refused the position constantly in fears that I may have a relapse to my…" he paused, "darker nature as a Death Eater…"

Harry swallowed, though listening intently. He knew Snape had done terrible things in his past, and he was the last person he figured would be attracted to someone so dark, but somehow he was. But that had been in the past. Snape had changed. He still had a dark side, but he figured that was just because it's all he knew now. He didn't have much of a chance when he was harassed by his school peers.

"But you're not like that anymore," he said softly, seeing Snape's hands go to his side. "You're a good man. You did as you promised, you spied for Dumbledore. Fawkes wouldn't have come to you if he didn't trust you."

"Potter, don't turn my actions into that of a hero," Severus said sharply, turning around to look at the boy. "I was a cruel boy, and I always had been. I don't deny my dark nature, and at times I embrace it. I did things that are unspeakable in my time. Dumbledore had all the right to mistrust me-,"

"Dumbledore was the only one that did trust you!"

"Only because he made a constant reminder of why I was here!" Snape snapped. "Every day I came here he would make sure I remembered what I had done and caused. Made sure that I was here to protect you. To spy for the Dark Lord. Dumbledore was like a father to me in my time of need, more than a father than my real father was. And in the end, he made me do the unspeakable."

Harry stood up from his seat. "I trust you…" he said, Snape's dark eyes on his own.

Snape turned so he was facing Harry. "I joined the Death Eaters because I wanted to impress Lily," he said honestly and bluntly. "I thought that by being in a group of powerful beings, it might make her look up to me considering I was constantly overshadowed by your father and his group of idiotic friends." If he wanted to know so much, then there, he could know. Maybe it would change his mind on him being a hero when he wasn't.

Harry just stared. Something in him wanted to laugh, but he knew he shouldn't. It just sounded funny… But how on earth could he have ever thought that!? All he heard about his mother was that she was so caring and loving in nature, and Death Eaters were anything but! Surely Snape knew it was a bad idea!

"Oh…" he said, looking away in lack of anything better. He didn't exactly want to offend the man. He was here and talking about it. He'd asked, after all…

"Not 'oh', Potter, it was bloody stupid of me," Snape sneered. "And because I let things get out of hand and insulted her, my hatred only grew further for Gryffindor's, and your father certainly didn't help with that. Nor did Black."

As Snape walked over to the fireplace, Harry just watched. He didn't quite know what to say… It all sounded so awful when Snape talked about it. Like he constantly berated himself for his actions. Of course they were bad!

He knew Snape wasn't perfect, but he could see through all of that. Snape came back. He helped them so much. He knew his father had been mean. He didn't know the full extent, but if what he saw in Snape's memories was just a taste? Part of him didn't want to know… It made him feel rather ashamed.

Maybe it was the Gryffindor in him, but he couldn't hate Snape for saving his life numerous amounts of times and trying to protect his family when he found out the Prophecy meant him (and Lily).

Harry didn't know if it was his magic pulling him in, but he stepped up behind Snape and placed a hand against his arm. "I don't hate you, if that's what you're trying to make me do… I don't see your Dark Mark as your past. I see it as your accomplishments. You, by yourself, made Voldemort trust you, and in doing that you kept me safe. You kept many others safe as well."

"Gryffindors…" Snape muttered, looking down to the hand that was on his arm. He could also feel Harry behind him, his magic strong. His body froze as he realised just how close they were once more, and it made a very hot rush of energy go through him from his own magic calling back.

Harry's lips parted as their magic connected once more. He instantly wanted to pull back, and he knew he shouldn't have come so close considering what had happened last time, but, damnit, it was so strong. He could feel his heart palpitating in his chest, ringing in his ears, and his breath picked up, his fingers taking the sleeve gently and pulling it up softly to reveal the pale, tattooed arm.

Exhaling shakily, Severus swallowed gently, looking at his exposed arm. "Potter… don't…" he tried to say, his magic defying the fact that he wanted to push the Gryffindor away from him—only because he knew this was moving too fast.

Of course he wanted Harry against him. He wanted it more than anything right now, but they couldn't do that! It was too early! And even if he was more than excited at the young wizard's touch, he knew it couldn't happen. But it was so damn good against him that every moral line was beginning to grow rather fuzzy—even if he was a well reserved wizard.

"I think it looks nice on you," Harry said, just as dazed as Snape was. He could feel the rush of energy go through the both of them, and he knew Snape was just as excited as he was. "I… would really like to return that kiss you gave me."

"That's a bad idea," Snape said, though his voice defying his words as it was spoken in such a soft tone. He looked down at the Gryffindor as Harry had somehow moved in front of him, and he felt his buttons being undone, his neck being exposed as the cravat was undone.

It felt so good against his skin. Harry's hands were so soft, just how he thought they would be. Caring. Defining every detail. His breath got caught in his throat as his shoulder soon became exposed. No, they couldn't do this! He had to gain control. This was too fast!

"That snake really did a number on you," Harry murmured dazedly, touching the scars on Severus' body. His wrist was taken, though; stopping him from going any further, even though he could feel the pulsing member against his thigh.

"No, we can't do this," Snape said, pushing Harry's wrists down, even though his body was begging for him to continue. Merlin, he felt like he was going to explode! He was disgusted and ashamed in himself for letting himself get so carried away so easily.

Harry felt disappointed, his magic still reaching out to the body against him. His hands hadn't undone all of the buttons, just the top few, but he still enjoyed the sight of the pale skin beneath the white shirt, and he wanted to see so much more.

"Professor… please…" he said rather needily, not even recognising his own voice. Bloody hell, this magic was strong! He knew it was wrong for them to go any further, but he couldn't help it! He wanted it so much! His whole body was radiating and pulsing, and he could smell Snape's magic, sending him into a pile of lust. He'd never felt anything like this before!

"You know it's not going to stop. You know it's not going to stop until we…" He stopped, looking at those dark eyes, small slithers of brown being lit from the fireplace. And he couldn't stop himself. He leant up, pressing his lips into Severus'.

Snape felt his eyes close as those soft lips pressed against his own. Merlin, it was amazing. His hands slowly left Harry's wrists and fell down to the young man's slender hips. He could feel his erection pulsing heatedly against his thigh.

A whimper came from Harry's lips as his hands clutched at Snape's shirt on his arms. "Pro-," he gasped, feeling their groins pressed against one another's. He couldn't see Snape's member, but dear God the feel of it was wondrous against him.

His senses went haywire and his body was on autopilot, the magic around them pulsing. And all of a sudden he felt a very hot sensation run through his body, his knees almost buckling as he lost lip contact and fell into Snape's chest, panting.

Severus grabbed Harry as he thought he was about to fall, the Gryffindor shuddering. "Potter… did-did you just…?"

"I'm s-so sorry…!" Harry whispered in pure embarrassment as he felt hot, sticky semen dribble down his thigh from beneath his pants.