All feelings have an answer

Happy reading

 Not all questions have an answer and not all feelings have an answer.

 ***

 Five Years Ago.  I parked my motorbike and lowered the standard right in the courtyard of a two-story minimalist-style building.  My eyes scanned around hoping there was another human to ask.  However, the result was nil.  There were only a few cars parked there.  Hesitating to enter, I finally took my device out of my sling bag, looked for a contact name on the flat object, then pressed the dial button.  It didn't take long for the phone call to connect.

 "Hello, Sak. I'm here, here!"  I said matter-of-factly, and then came a voice on the other end of the phone.  "Ok, hurry up, huh! It's hot, here."

 This afternoon is quite hot, not to mention that all the way to here I had to make a lot of traffic jams.  It feels like if you have to wait a long time for someone, my head will smoke.  Not long after, a boy with the typical appearance of a band boy came out of the thick glass sliding door.

 "Wow, great. You come too! Sorry for the long wait."  The man with artificial white hair approached me.  Then, we high five.

 She is Sakti, my friend from high school.  In the past, we both took music extracurricular activities, then formed a band at school.  After graduating and busy with their respective activities, our band disbanded.  However, Sakti seems to remain consistent with music.

A few days ago, we accidentally met on social media.  Say hello and joke with each other, then exchange WhatsApp numbers.  Sakti invited me to join his band.  Incidentally, they were looking for a female vocalist for their band project and according to Sakti my voice character matched their criteria.  Like winning the lottery, it was really nice to get the offer.  Since then, my passion has been in music.  No doubt I agreed to Sakti's invitation.  However, before that I have to try hard to seduce my husband to get permission from him.

Actually, my husband doesn't like it when I'm in a band.  According to him it was all a waste of time.  My husband and I are like two poles of a magnet.  We have different interests.  He prefers automotive and business, whereas I love all things art.

"If you really want to work, it's better to find a clearer job. Not stupid singing like that. At least you just want to spread charm with boys, right?"  That's what he said when we were dating.  Spicy words are no longer strange to come out of his mouth.

 He's always been like that, possessive and a little selfish.  I don't know why I can still stick with him, even until I get married.  Love can sometimes blind everything.  I was twenty-two when we got married.  After college, he immediately proposed to me.  His fairly mature age is six years adrift with me, making him pressured by his family to get married immediately.  Meanwhile, for the first time I had a serious relationship with a man, I was very happy to be proposed by my lover.

 Although, I gave up more than him.  Suppressing the ego so we don't fight.  I always try to understand what he likes and all his activities.  However, it was not the same with him.  He always regulates, limits, and even curbs my freedom of expression.  Our relationship is always peppered with jealousy and excessive suspicion that is shown by him.

 At first I thought there was nothing wrong with that.  Maybe it's a form of attention or a way he shows his love for me.  That's also what made me leave my job as a cafe singer instead of having to argue with him.  Besides, because I love him so much.  Moreover, after all now he is my husband, so I have to obey him.

 I was also confused as to why he suddenly allowed me to return to my field of interest.  Has he changed his mind now?  Or maybe he feels sorry for me because lately he often leaves me for business trips out of town?.  Ah never mind.  What do I think, the important thing is that I got permission from him.

 "Come in, let's go! Back to training inside."  Sakti invited me into the studio.

 "It's started, huh? Well, I'm late. So it's not good, huh," I tweeted with an apologetic expression.

 "Relax. We're also just starting, really," said Sakti as he walked ahead of me.  Then he looked up again, grinning and raising his eyebrows.

 "There's a girl of mine in there too, let me introduce you."  I just laughed at that.  Thankfully, at least I'm not the only girl in there.

I followed Sakti's steps to the house that was turned into a music studio.  Creative, the impression I caught when I just entered the living room.  Sakti opened the thick door of the room which was covered with silencers.  The sound of musical instruments immediately jolted the eardrums.  Suddenly, the activities inside stopped as several pairs of eyes stared at our arrival.

 "Guys, I brought a cool vocalist, here! Which I told you about at that time. Meet my friend, her name is Rachel Anandita alias Rara."  Sakti introduced me to his bandmates in the style of a presenter.  Instantly, I felt like I was being watched.

 "Hi, I'm Rara," I said, smiling at the boys, each holding a musical instrument, as well as a girl sitting on the red sofa.

 Fortunately, they are very cool and can lighten the mood so that I feel a little less awkward.  One by one they stood up and greeted me warmly and introduced themselves.

 Except for someone in the corner of the room who was busy with his guitar.  He looked indifferent.  Either he didn't notice my arrival or he didn't care.  Apparently, the second one is more appropriate because I had seen his eyes staring at me for a long time when Sakti introduced me earlier.  I was a little annoyed because I felt ignored, but since I knew enough that I was new here, I approached him to get acquainted.

 "Hi, I'm Rara," I said, extending my hand.  He lifted his head, looking at me.  Just a few seconds, then he started playing the guitar again.

 "Yeah, I heard that earlier."  He spoke still in the same position without looking at me.

 What the…?  I've tried to be friendly but he only responds coldly.  Can't he respect me a little?  Is he wearing a face mask that makes it hard for his lips to smile?

 Only this time there is a man who ignores a Rara.  Patience, Ra, patience.  It's a test, okay?

 "Yeah, what's your name?"  I'm still trying to be friendly to the cold guy.

 "Ryo," he answered as he put down the guitar, looking at me again.

 'Aish, it's stingy to smile, it's also stingy with words, this guy,' I cursed in my heart.

 "Alright, let's start training again."  Ryo stood up, spoke to his friends, then turned to me.  "You've been in bands a lot, haven't you? Just get ready. No need to use small talk anymore."

Suddenly, my eyes widen, surprised by the man in front of him.  I was invited to get acquainted, he replied irritably.  Once you talk at length, it makes your heart hurt.  Arrgh, that sucks.  If only I wasn't new here, I want to curse this fridge man.

So handsome!  Eh, but he's really handsome.  Yes, gosh... why am I being such a galfok.  Remember, Ra, already has a husband.

 Continued