4TH

I'm on my knees, with the blade as a support to keep me steady. Its glow is slowly decimating. My ears then register the delayed sound of a heavy thud from behind. Slowly, I turn only to find the body of the vicious creature that murdered my comrades, upright no more on its tendril legs, some are still twitching. Not a single blood even appears to be dripping from its mouth or even from the narrow hole on its back, which I soon realize was my doing. They're bloodless, anyway. But recalling what just happened seconds ago, I went into an unimaginable speed with my weapon. Somehow, the senses that I seem to have lost for the time being shoot me like a stray bullet, and I fall on my stomach. I feel everything, my muscles suffering, bones feeling like they're about to break, organs burning, brain pounding in my skull as if my head is about to explode at any second. It's as if I got beat up a million times, and I can't even make any noise. All I can do is tear up.

The pain lasts minutes that rather feels like hours. Now, I feel numb and everything else is silent. I can't even hear the wind of the desert or feel the grains of sand carried by it. My sight is the only one left registering, gazing up at the skies of orange and blue, with little cotton clouds flying by. Then, my nerves begin to slowly come back to life.

I grunt exhaustedly, struggling to force my legs to get back to doing their job even though it demands more time recovering. I tilt my gaze at the visible sun that is nearing its way to hide on the horizon, and below the remaining warm shining, it kisses the pale skin of my godfather, all bare and naked with his face turned towards the setting ball of fire.

From here I can see his very little heaving chest as if he's saving them while he lays upon the puddle of golden fur that has shed off his skin. Stumbling, I rush to his body forgetting to care for myself, first coming across a ripped fabric of what was once the mainsail of our Sand Slider and grabbing it with both hands. Upon close contact, I gently hover the fabric over half of his frame before shifting him to have him look at me, but the first thing my eyes land on is my hand which has the cut no more as if it was never there. I don't have a second to question it as soon as I see the exposed bloody flesh beneath Sergeant's bare chest. His eyes dare to surrender but still manage to have them on me.

"Hey, kiddo," He breathes with a flash of a weak smile. I merely chuckle, but it soon dies.

"Cap?" I manage the anxiety crawling on my nerves.

"You…" He breathes out again. "You killed it." Him, saying that sends the realization of what I had done — how I slaughtered a Hellion that is new to our eyes. But that's not what I need to worry about right now. His less bleeding and pale skin already tell me that he had lost too much blood, and whatever the Hellion did to him made his ability to heal fast to be negated. I quickly remove my upper garment and gently press it to his wound before elevating the blanket that I have on his frame. He doesn't even react, as if his nerves are dead.

"Breathe… Just breathe, Alek," I say, anxiety persisting in my voice.

"I'm afraid I can no longer do that," His weak beam still existed.

"No! Don't say that," I say halfway through ending his sentence. "You're going to be okay." I keep repeating those words. But deep within, I'm just lying to myself. "Alice needs you. You can still sense her, right? She needs you." I need you.

He doesn't answer but rather shifts his head to the side and has his gaze upon something, or someone, rather. I track the direction of his eyes to find it on no other than his other half. Alice, who I left on the dune's summit. "Alice…" He mutters weakly, but with a sense of relief to let me know that she's okay.

I shake my head with tears that dare to graze down my cheeks, and then I feel his hand on mine, curled into a ball as if it has something within his fingers. I gently welcome my palm to receive whatever it is, but I soon refuse and force it back to his as soon as I get a glimpse of its shining look and shape. It's the ring he's meant to give to Alice.

"No," I exclaim and repeat it many times. "You're the one who's going to give this to her. Not me, okay? You'll be the one who'll see her smile out of joy when she receives this. Not me. You're going to be one to meet her on the altar and be with her forever, understand?" I utter those sentences like I'm the one who has authority, but deep down I'm already breaking apart along with my failing voice. "You're gonna have kids, as many as you want. You're gonna have a family with her."

His eyes are surrendering but he still manages to shift them back to me and mutter. "Maybe again… At another time…"

"No!" I shout this time. "Alek, listen to me! If you can't live for yourself then live for her! Live for her… Live for me," And my tears finally rained. "Please…You're not gonna die here, you get me? Not here."

And with one last look at the person who brought so much joy to him for who knows how long they've gone, his lips part to say the words, "I love you, Alice." And that is his last breath, with the remaining tint of the glow of his eyes fading into nothing.

It takes me seconds to parse it. But before I know it, I give a shriek with the rising hysteria that turns out faint to my ears. I bawl with all the agony in pure deterioration. He's gone. And it's real. The person who's been a father to me is gone and he's never coming back.

I could've done better. I should've done better. If I already knew that I had the ability to kill that bastard Hellion, I would've done it earlier and none of them would've gotten hurt at all. No. I was the only person who had a weapon most of the time and I could've done something earlier before. Now I can't go back. I can't get them back… Sarah… Philbert… Jameson… Jaden… My godfather…

My cries go on for what seems like minutes before I'm pulled back by a howl. I shift my gaze, still clouded with water, to a few degrees to my side and find myself directly looking at the smaller Wolf-Breed, who I instantly recognize as Mikael. Mikael… He howls up the skies where the half-moon is already slightly in view. It's a long one, and surely loud enough to be heard by any creature that has the hearing to hear it from afar.

He turns his yellow gaze to me and stands on all his fours to stumble limply and whimper in my direction. His pained muscles probably did not let him be able to aid us earlier, but I can't blame him for that. It's all over now, after all. As he's close enough to me, he hovers his gold-coated muzzle upon his comrade's skin, and with a sniff, he lends out louder whimpers.

At the moment, I expect him to kill me — tear my limbs off my body and end my suffering from so much guilt right here, right now. But instead, I feel him place his muzzle atop my head. It's gentle and that even elevates my persisting emotions. I tear more and more, and more until I have nothing left to cry but give out silent sobs.

Minutes pass, and my tears finally subdued. I'm able to stand back to my no longer complaining feet and first decide to get to Alice. But before that, I gently remove the precious object from Aleks's grasp. His skin feels colder than the metallic ring itself. I can't form any words through my mouth, but certainly, I can in my mind… I'll give it to her, I promise… I promise…

The sun has already set but still has some remaining streaks of its light radiating out of the now purple skies, and this time of the day already warns of a more dangerous sign. Especially now that a Hellion finally decided to show up after a while of dormancy, and probably many more like it are already swarming through the sands below. It'll just be a matter of time before they sense us. I have to move.

Once I reach Alice, I find her unconscious. But the bandage that I had wrapped around her leg completely suppressed the bleeding. Looking at her face alone is already bringing the tears back. When she wakes up, how is she going to take it? How am I even supposed to tell her? What face can I even show?

I tighten my hold on the ring and sigh to suppress my emotions. I carefully store it inside the zipper-sealed pocket of my trousers and feel it through the fabric outside for assurance that I won't forget about it. Without further ado, I carry her in my arms and descend to the other side of the sandhill. I hear soft movements from behind, only for me to see it is no other than Mikael, still in his Wolf form. He's dragging a person by the hem of his Front Soldier suit. It's Daniel. He's alive but also unconscious. He must've had a bad fall earlier and hit his head on his own horns.

The wreckages of the Sand Slider in view made a lightbulb glow in my mind. There are ropes, sticks, and scraps differing in size. I can make something out of it. I place Alice in a comfortable position on the sand with her back leaning against another wreckage. And I begin working.

I gather as many things that are still usable as possible. Wood, metal, ropes, anything that I'd see in my vicinity. I even saunter a little far just to get that other ripped-off part of the mainsail that was sent away by the wind.

Upon returning, I stop in my tracks when I notice with my swollen eyes the more scraps added to the pile, all because of Mikael. Now, I'm looking at him as he is about to drop a cube-shaped object next to the pile. Coming close to assess, it is rather a wooden box. When I have it in my hands I flip its pins to unlock it and reveal a pistol and two ammunitions rolled in red parchment. A flare gun. I think of it being useful at the moment, but considering our distance from the Walls or from any other squads scouting the lands, it'll only be a waste and might attract the infestations below, instead. I can't risk it.

I merely give a nod of affirmation, then notice him sitting and following a little whimper, his height towering a little much more than he stands on fours.

"Um…" I rasp. "Did you find... first aid kit that you had?" It'd be very useful for me to treat Alice's leg. Those kits even contain materials for her to completely aid herself quickly but of course, considering her state, it's unlikely. But it would still be helpful for me to use on her.

He's only silent. Of course, in animal form, it's hard for other races to determine what expressions Wolf-breeds are displaying. So, I'm taking it as a no. I can only conclude that it had been destroyed to pieces, and I'm only more frustrated.

"We'll use this when necessary," I say, pertaining to the flare gun. And he still doesn't answer, or give any mark of affirmation and I merely leave it. I won't even ask when he'd be planning to transform back to his human form. It'll be weirdly inappropriate besides that he'll have nothing to wear once he does.

I bring the box and temporarily place it next to Alice, who had the still-unconscious fawn Front Soldier next to her, his face and red hair smothered with sand and dirt, however, not covering the look of like only being asleep.

I make my way close to the pile of salvaged wreckage and scraps and begin assembling whatever I plan to build. I tie ropes on ropes, stick metal on wood — even included some of the weapons that we had, most of them broken in halves or pieces, and I figure to put them in use still. Now, with one last knot tied, I'm done with nothing but a small raft. It merely takes me an hour to make sure it is all intact and not capable of breaking apart. It isn't much, only almost half the size of its former self which can fit almost six people when laying down. The ripped mainsail only serves as a bed where I have Alice comfortably lay.

I notice the fabric around her thigh that still has the chunk of metal impaled already absorbed a lot of the blood. It only gives me a reason to move faster. When I'm about to get the other unconscious soldier, I see Mikael already dragging him into the raft. Once everything is already in place, I have myself standing ahead of the scrapped vehicle, then I find the Wolf-breed on board as well.

I shoot him a look. I could use some help dragging this… but since your leg muscles seem like they've given up, fine. Whatever. He can rest, as well.

He then gives a small whine, as if he is trying to convey something to me. But, I assume it's an affirmation. Looking back ahead of me comes the view of the ocean of sand to the horizon line where it meets the evening starry sky. We've traveled too far from the distant walls, and thinking of how long it would take me to reach there doesn't even bother me. I have a heartbeat that keeps my body working so I'm not too troubled by the notion. I see the fading trail left behind by our Sand Slider, and that suggests a sense of direction where to go, and it might even lead to other Soldiers that could be looking for us now.

Echidna… Echidna! How stupid of me to even forget her. I turn once more looking directly at Mikael, who still hasn't averted his eyes away from me.

"Echidna's still out there, right?" I ask.

His blank look affirms. They're looking for us.

"Then we follow this trail, I bet they have this path to track us," I say.

He's silent once more.

I sigh. "Help me out, Mikael," I say, exhaustingly. "I can't bark."

He still doesn't answer. How even more stupid of me to make that remark. I only imagine hitting myself for it. I return my direction back ahead and have the rope that I'll be pulling in my hands from here, stretching my leg forward before dragging with a grunt, and that's when I flinch, startled as I feel Mikael sniffing my pocket—where I have Alek's ring.

What is it this time?

He then turns his gaze back to where the bodies of our comrades remain. Oh... I realize what he wants me to do. I want to slap myself for unintentionally forgetting about my godfather's body. It's as brutal as already letting him die. Earlier I was just talking to him. But little did I know it'd already be my last moments with him. He's gone…

I drop the rope and walk my way back past the sandhill, yet I halt at its peak when I see the Hellion's corpse, noticeably slowly evaporating with the sandy winds. That alone makes me think of the faces of the people that it had taken away, including the person who meant a lot to me.

And I couldn't care less about the fact that it was only a short time of knowing the rest of them and barely had many interactions. They could've been more than my comrades today, or more than soldiers doing their job, and it's only depressing that it only got that far, and nothing further. I could've done something. I could've done better. I should've done better. This is something that I will be having in mind as a person, and a Soldier for the rest of my life. I'm sorry, Alek…

I only realize that tears are again falling from my eyes when I feel one drip off from my chin. Yet I leave it, not bothering to wipe it off as I approach Aleks' body. His skin remains pale in color and his eyes are voided. I merely refuse to let the grief take over again and gently have my hand upon his eyes to shut them. He's at peace now.

Without further ado, I carefully drag him by his arms back to the raft, not letting the fabric that I have covered upon him leave his frame. It takes a little while with the difficulty of having to pass back the dune hill and place him next to Alice. Once I return, I see Mikael nowhere but behind my tracks, carrying Jaden's body. I merely let him have his friend's body be included onboard the raft, and that's it. I reposition myself back ahead of the raft and have the rope in between my arms. With one step, I begin pulling, having a grunt drawn over my dried throat. Hell, I could use some water now. The loose surface of the sand helps reduce the friction beneath the raft from slowing me down, but it still doesn't quicken my movement.

I keep dragging and dragging, momentarily changing the way I have the rope twisted around my left arm to get a better angle until a sudden shift lightens it. I look back to see Mikael, the rope in between his teeth pulling it toward my direction as well. He chose to ignore his complaining muscles to help me. He could've just rested on the raft, but I'm glad anyway.

We've been pulling for who knows how long, but I'm certain that we've already gone far from whence we started, yet still a long, long way from the walls. My painful, dried throat and growling stomach—let alone the bruises the rope had been leaving on my exposed arm, my muscles and body twitching in pain brought a challenge to my stable thinking.

The pearly half-moon becomes brighter as the night deepens, whilst the wind increases strength carrying more sand hurtfully tickling my skin, and contributing to the surrendering state of my eyes as it dares to blind me. So, I urge myself to remove the remaining fabric hugging my top frame to cover my entire head and face. I can hear Mikael's whines from behind. I tell him every minute or so that I'll take it from here, only for him to refuse by ignoring me.

The path that we've been following is already completely buried in sand, and I have to have a memory of its marks to not lose it.

I stop for a moment to retrieve the box that contains the flare gun on the raft. When the box is in my hands, I flip its locks open and have the gun in one fist. Upon taking the one ammo, it accidentally slips off my fingers. They're trembling in so much intensity that I don't even notice it. That's when I see my hand being distorted. My vision is shaking and I almost lose balance. Ignoring it, I take the ammo that I dropped only to see it already crushed by my boot, spilling its colored contents along the sands. I much more carefully take the last ammo from the box and have it loaded into the gun. I count three seconds and I feel the quick and abrupt pressure as I pull the trigger. Red flashing light then combined with the moon's bluish-white. I had no idea what was going on in my mind, but my instincts told me that I had to do it. I let the gun slip off my grasp and I hear its clanking sound, which tells me that it had landed on the raft. And I resume back to the rope.

After a few more minutes of torturing my legs and they finally give up, and I fall on my knees then on my side on the sand. My senses seem to be dying as everything becomes indistinct and blurred, I can't feel anything else, not even the sand carried by the winds brushing my skin. The red flare in the air has already died out, letting the pearly blue light from the moon dominate the skies once again. Looks like it only went to waste. And that's my fault.

I have my head faced to the side where I see my fingers intensely trembling still, then Wolf-breed hinds come stumbling into view along with its shadow casting over my covered face. Surely, it's Mikael. His paws move around before me as my vision begins blurring like viewing through the water. However, I manage to make sense that the horizon seems to grow close with figures moving, and a glimpse of more shadows — winged, swooping in the skies. Are they more Hellions? Is this where I'll die? Am I going to be one of those soldiers who have lost their lives here?

I can't conclude if it is just my severely exhausted brain playing tricks or if it's reality. I won't know when my eyes finally surrender, shutting and drawing me into the oblivion of total darkness.