LIED

Kitty was diagnosed with a brain tumor and she was dying. The operation suggested by her neurosurgeon has only a 10% success rate. She had lost hope and wanted to die. She didn't want to do the surgery because according to her, it would cost a bank and she would still die in the end. But as her big brother, I could never give her up without a fight.

Seeing her suffer the sheer brutality of her illness brought tears to my eyes. She would bang her head on the walls, whimper, and wail due to the extreme pain. And many times, she tried to kill herself.

"I can't--it's too painful! Let me die!" she desperately screamed in pain. Her veins in her neck popped as if she was being strangled by the pain.

I snatched the knife away from her hand. "Kitty, please! Don't do this! What about mom? And dad? And me?"

She curled on the bed and continued to wiggle and wail because of the pain.

It was heartbreaking to watch her try to end her life so she could escape the pain. It was painful that all I could do was watch and cry from the corner.

Still, for our family, for me, I wanted her to live. I wanted her to fight.

Then she met Dexter. After knowing him for a short time, they dated each other. She was so happy and in love. I started to see life in her eyes. For the first time, I could see hope in her.

She was frail and sick and that was why she had to be sheltered. Ever since she met Dexter, she would sneak out of the house at midnight, go on dates, and eat foods that weren't healthy, and it made me worry. She couldn't do all those things because it would make her sicker.

One morning, she gathered the family in the living room. I decided I should talk to her about her boyfriend.

But then, she smiled at us and declared, "I will do it."

None of us could say a word. We were so shocked at her sudden change of heart.

"The surgery, I will do it."

At that moment, I knew, it was all because of Dexter. So how could I tell her to break up with him, when he gave her the will to live, which we failed to do?

I couldn't tell her anymore. She was willing to live, and that was all that mattered to me. She was smiling, and that was already everything.

We booked the surgery right away. And thanks to a miracle, she survived the surgery. She defeated that 90% chance of death.

However...

Something happened to Dexter on his way to the hospital. He got into an accident and was pronounced dead on arrival.

I grew more anxious. I couldn't find a better way to tell Kitty about Dexter's death. How would I tell her?

After a week, Kitty finally opened her eyes. And I couldn't contain in a word the happiness I was feeling. I felt like I was floating in the air as I saw her move.

"Kitty, you're awake!"

The first words that came from her mouth were, "Where's Dexter?"

It was the very question I was so scared she would ask.

"He's.."

Should I tell her? Should I?

"He'll be here," I lied.

"So where is he?"

"He's…" I gulped the guilt away, "on his way."

How could I tell her that the reason she lived is now dead?