001 In she came
***
to be continued
She had squandered her love in vain. He didn't deserve the affection she bestowed upon him. He led her to hope, only to retreat without a word, without a single explanation. He was so vain. All he knew was to pursue her. She should have realized that some people only relish the chase.
They steal hearts and then leave them shattered. Only for those unfortunate hearts to end up being labeled as heart stealers, marriage breakers, or whatever. When it had always been the other way around: those men not only stole hearts but were heartbreakers as well.
As for the one who betrayed her, the best revenge was that he never sees her again in this life. Just like the postmen, love doesn't ring twice in the same lifetime. Unlike the postmen, it does not bring letters. You never know what the other one really thinks.
Caring for him had been so wrong; he had destroyed her in the end. She didn't know that giving up on him for the greater good would be her end. Nobody ever again managed to touch her heart in the same way. But, he didn't deserve her to return love to him, for he only returned his hate.
This had been her last hope. The last fxck given. Death suited her better. In fact, she wished for death more than anything in the world.
If only it would come sooner.
Another wasted life, another wasted transmigration. Or reincarnation, whatever... In this scenario, she had to wait until the end of her life to receive a new one. To be reborn again, same soul, different body, new chance to do things right.
She wondered whether she would remember the next time. They always seemed to forget everything. On the other hand, she pondered if it might be better this way. Not remembering.
If only the timing could be better next time.
From the dawn of her previous life, she had known what she was born for, what she had to achieve, what she wanted to mend about existence. Yet, she failed once again.
She had always yearned for a simple, normal life. Her intention was never to be entangled in conflicts and defending beliefs that were not her own.
Yet, somehow, she found herself ensnared once again in the intricate web of the gov org's plans, compelled to defend something that wasn't her life's purpose.
She never intended to tread this path. Her sole purpose had been to assist. Although she woke up to reality early on, she failed to depart at the opportune moment.
Just as she resolved to quit, all possibilities crumbled. If only she had refused when there was still time, when that strong urge had first surfaced.
No, she didn't want her persona to perish. Her dreams were lofty, and she had never desired otherwise.
All these people were fake, desiring others to change only in ways that suited them. It was a macho pride that encouraged abusive behavior.
Subsequently, she was unable to abandon her coven in the face of danger, not realizing that the very ones she protected were the ones who aimed the bullet.
If they were going to use a bullet on her, she hoped it would at least be silver.
The government organization had forced her to forsake her people. And now, once again, she was losing the only one with whom she felt a genuine connection.
These people spoke of patience as if time were an infinite resource. Yet, there was never enough time for what she truly wanted to accomplish in life.
Everyone had feasted on her precious time. Now, if she were to wait for death, time would crawl at a sluggish pace, creating a paradox where waiting seemed to extend her perception of life, making it feel longer.
Now, if she wanted to wait for her death, time will pass more slowly so that in the end she would have felt she had lived longer.
In fact, she prayed for death. It seemed like the only path to set things right.
All she had ever known was suffering in vain, the unfounded hatred of people just because she was a sorceress, a "Solomonar" in her native language.
Maria Rosa was already weary of lies and elusive promises.
***
"It's just a passing infatuation; it will fade away quickly," her best friend assured her.
In vain.