Severus POV 3

I recall meeting Sawyer for the first time when we were five. Her radiant smile lit up the gray memories of my life, and from that moment on, her smile became a constant companion. She was my first cherished friend, and it felt only natural to develop feelings for her. When I realized my budding emotions, I felt a sense of relief.

But Sawyer didn't need to know this. She didn't need to know that her best friend—labeled by the Gryffindors as a cunning and devious Slytherin—had a secret crush on her. It was a bittersweet thought.

I wasn't as innocent as she believed. I had a fascination with dark things, like dark magic—evil and powerful dark magic. Hogwarts' defensive stance against dark magic was clear from the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. At school, I couldn't access any substantial dark magic books.

However, the Prince Manor provided more than just a wealth of potions knowledge; it also had many books on dark magic. The first time I saw those dark tomes, I couldn't hide my longing for the shadowy power they promised. My mother gave me a knowing look and said I could study them because only by mastering power could I protect myself and what I cherished. I knew my mother was a true Slytherin. If not for the years spent trapped between my father and me in that "home," she wouldn't have lived so... unfulfilled.

My mother connected our new home to the manor via the Floo network, allowing me to study those books at night with her guidance. When the Christmas holidays ended, I returned to school with a few of those books hidden in the most inconspicuous corner of my luggage. I had no intention of telling Sawyer and Lily about them. They were noble Gryffindors. I still remembered Lily's vehement response to a subtle mention of dark magic. Sawyer didn't outright condemn the darkness, but her neutral stance showed no support either.

I wasn't surprised but couldn't help feeling disappointed. This was the distance between us.

So, I sought times when I could study dark magic without arousing their suspicion. Night was the best time. After leaving the Room of Requirement with them, I would return alone, creating a separate space for studying dark magic. I stayed there until midnight before heading back to the dungeons. Having Slytherin roommates meant no one pried into your privacy, allowing me to maintain this secret nightly routine.

After taking over the potion shop, I became busier with potions during the day, but I continued my dark magic studies at night. Throughout this process, I often felt guilty for hiding things from them, especially while working together for the potion shop. Yet, I persisted.

I knew I was a true Slytherin, a snake with venomous fangs. For the sake of my cherished friendships, I would keep my fangs hidden and reveal them only to deliver a lethal strike to any threat against them.

Facing my feelings for Sawyer left me melancholic. I decided to bury them; she didn't need a boyfriend with a dark side.

However, my heart rebelled when Sawyer greeted that idiot Black's younger brother warmly. I couldn't stop myself from asking in a dry voice, "Regulus? Sawyer, I didn't know you were so familiar with him."

Part of me screamed at myself for speaking out, 'This is none of your business; you're just friends!' Another part argued, 'Sawyer is my best friend, I care about her! And if I can't have her, why should another Slytherin?'

Caught in this internal struggle, I heard Sawyer say he was nice enough. Nice enough? Are you sure you're talking about a Black? Alright, maybe I shouldn't generalize, but...

I suppressed my retort and said nothing more. I was overreacting. Somehow, it was all Black's fault, both the elder and the younger were jerks.

Sawyer always managed to surprise. All this time, I thought she and Lily were Muggle-born witches, but it turned out she was a half-blood. She seemed to have known she was adopted for a while but never mentioned it. I understood that being abandoned at an orphanage wasn't a pleasant memory. Still, I felt a bit hurt—did she not trust us? Lily voiced my thoughts. Seeing Sawyer's downcast mood, I couldn't bring myself to press the issue.

Her background was indeed complicated. Sawyer clearly wanted nothing to do with it. The Dark Lord, the Death Eaters, their brutal and dark powers—Sawyer disliked them because of their cruelty. If she knew about my darkness, would she hate me too? My heart sank.

Sawyer's strange behavior began after a particular incident. She gazed at my potion with such fascination that I found myself staring at her profile. Her sudden turn caught me off guard. Silence fell, and I barely noticed I was staring rudely. Regaining composure, I diverted her attention, refusing to let my gaze return to her.

After that, I occasionally felt her blatant scrutiny, which almost made me panic. Did she discover I was a brooding admirer?

Then came her secretive observation, thinking I hadn't noticed. Months of hidden scrutiny left me resigned, waiting for her to confront me. Yet, as the term ended, her focus shifted away from me. Was I disappointed? I must have caught Gryffindor syndrome.

Afterward, Sawyer seemed normal again, though something felt different. At least I thought I passed this test, whatever it was.