Chapter 40

The practice duel turned into a water fight. Lily and I had a great time, drenching each other thoroughly.

"Thank goodness we're in the Room of Requirement," I said, wringing out my soaked braid. "If this were anywhere else, the place wouldn't stand a chance against our antics! My shield charm got washed away, too. If you hadn't called it off in time..."

"Exactly! It's surprisingly effective this way," Lily agreed, completely ignoring the puddles around us. "Though it doesn't cause much harm and isn't lethal, it doesn't take much magic to use, making it easy to catch someone off guard!"

"I knew you'd like it," I said, sitting cross-legged. "Remember when I came up with it? What do you think?"

Lily playfully pushed my head away. "Yes, yes, you're amazing! Tell Severus about it, and he'll praise you too!"

I reveled in the moment, but my thoughts quickly returned to Severus. "I wonder how long it will take for him to get over this awkward phase."

"I don't know..." Lily glanced at me thoughtfully. "Sawyer, do you... like Severus?"

I was taken aback by Lily's directness. My face heated up, but I didn't hesitate. "Yes, I do."

"I knew it!" Lily's face lit up with a triumphant smile. "When did this happen?"

I coughed lightly, trying to appear nonchalant. "I'm not sure. I only realized it myself last term."

"Last term?!" Lily's eyes widened in mock anger. "You've kept this from me for that long? Are we even best friends? How long were you planning to keep this secret?"

"Didn't you figure it out on your own?" I said, struggling to maintain my composure. Even though I knew it was just the two of us, I felt exposed, as if my secret was out in the open.

"Well, with how weird you've been acting today, even a fool would notice," Lily retorted. "Ever since Severus stormed out of the classroom, you haven't been yourself. You're smitten with him!"

I focused on the vine pattern on my wand, trying to ignore my burning face.

"Severus doesn't know, does he?" Lily asked, giving me a sidelong glance. "When are you planning to tell him?"

"Uh, I hadn't really thought about it..." I admitted.

Lily's eyes widened even more. "How can you not? Severus is unlikely to realize your feelings unless you tell him. And I think he has feelings for you too."

My heart skipped a beat. "How do you know?"

"Women's intuition!" Lily declared confidently.

"I'm a woman too, and I don't have this intuition," I grumbled.

"You're too caught up in it. Love has blinded you."

"…"

"You need a wake-up call. Get a grip... Aguamenti!"

I didn't notice Lily moving to the side and getting ready to stand up. A controlled jet of water hit me square in the face before I could react. I scrambled to my feet, trying to defend myself, but it was too late. I let out a reflexive scream as the water hit me.

Drenched from head to toe, I was about to retaliate when the door to the practice room burst open. Severus rushed in, looking alarmed. "Sawyer, what happened?!"

Seeing me and Lily standing there, soaking wet, he stopped short. He glanced at me, drenched, and Lily, half-dry, and his face registered confusion. "I heard a scream and thought there was a spell mishap... What happened?"

Lily and I exchanged glances, and I awkwardly explained, "Nothing serious... Lily and I were testing a modified spell, and she caught me off guard and soaked me." My ears burned as I recalled the reason behind the ambush, and my voice grew quieter. "I accidentally screamed..."

Feeling nervous, I wondered if Severus had come in earlier, would he have noticed... Yet, a part of me was disappointed that he didn't come in sooner.

Surveying the soaked room, Severus's mouth twitched. "A modified spell? Summoning a flood?"

Lily burst into laughter, and I couldn't help but smile. This familiar, sarcastic Severus was a relief, despite his biting remarks.

"It was Sawyer's idea, an evolution of Aguamenti," Lily explained, demonstrating with a wooden practice dummy.

Severus raised an eyebrow, watching Lily's demonstration in silence. I observed him quietly, noticing his interest and slight amusement. Was the spell really that funny? I wondered. He didn't seem to hold any grudges from our earlier confrontation, which made me curious about his quick recovery.

It was for the best. I smiled at him.

Just as Lily finished her explanation, Severus turned and caught me grinning at him. He looked startled, then quickly stiffened and left the practice room, throwing over his shoulder, "I'll be in the Potions lab."

Did my silly grin scare him off? I thought, touching my nose and coughing awkwardly. Lily came over and pinched my arm, signaling me to follow him. Realizing she was encouraging me to confess, I felt my heart race. Nervously, I let Lily push me out the door.

"Severus! Wait..." I called out as he reached the Potions lab door.

"Hmm?" He paused, hand on the doorknob, and looked back at me.

Taking a deep breath, I walked over, my mind screaming that I was crazy for doing this without any preparation. "Uh, I... I wanted to tell you..." My throat felt dry, and I struggled to get the words out. "I... um..."

"What is it?" Severus prompted, seeing my hesitation.

For the second time that day, I mimicked a goldfish, unable to speak. Under Severus's slightly impatient gaze, I finally blurted out, "I wanted to ask if you'd join us for lunch in the Great Hall." Seeing his raised eyebrow, I added, "It's lunchtime, and you should eat before working on Potions."

"Yes, join us!" Lily chimed in, wrapping an arm around my neck. "You can't work on an empty stomach."

Severus considered for a moment and then nodded. We walked out together, with Lily giving me a supportive squeeze and a sigh of exasperation. I could practically hear her saying, "Why didn't you confess?"

I grimaced silently. Who knew confessing would be so hard?

I thought everything would return to normal, and that I'd find another opportunity to confess. But as the days passed, something felt off. Severus's attitude towards us was the same, yet I sensed a distance between us.

He spent less time with us at school, often finding excuses to stay in the Room of Requirement. When we ate in the Great Hall, he would either miss meals or avoid us altogether. In Potions class, he paired up with another Slytherin boy, claiming Professor Slughorn had asked him to help the boy improve his grades. This left me paired with Lily.

I found it hard to get him alone. When he was in the Room of Requirement, he mostly stayed in the Potions lab. When Lily tried to give us some alone time, Severus always seemed to have a conveniently timed potion step to attend to. Maybe I was overthinking, but it felt like Severus was subtly avoiding me, and it left me confused.

After observing this for a month, Lily and I concluded that Severus was still upset.

"Does Severus hate me now?" I asked Lily, staring at the closed door of the Potions lab.

"No, he doesn't! He's just... awkward," Lily said, though she didn't sound entirely convinced.

I wondered if I should just tell him outright and get it over with. This slow torture felt like a death sentence. But now I had even less courage to approach him.

As the semester dragged on, I became more frustrated. Lily prepared for finals in a frenzy, while I stewed over my romantic woes.

"He can't still be upset, can he? Isn't he tired of it?" I muttered, flipping through my revision notes absentmindedly in the corner of the Gryffindor common room.

"Ask him yourself," Lily said without looking up. "I only know why goblins are tricky... I mean, why goblins rebelled... Oh, we're supposed to be studying!"

"But how do I ask? He avoids me and doesn't give me a chance," I lamented.

"If he doesn't give you a chance, make one! How did you corner him last time? You're a Gryffindor! No Gryffindor would hesitate for this long. Now, study!" Lily snapped, slamming my notes down before diving back into her own.

Her words jolted me. I realized I had been acting unlike myself, hesitating like a shy schoolgirl. I might not be as bold and brash as some Gryffindors, but I still had Gryffindor courage. Love had indeed made me lose my sense.

I lunged at Lily and kissed her cheek. She jumped, staring at me wide-eyed.

"Lily, you're my lucky star! I couldn't love you more!" I exclaimed.

Lily shuddered, rubbing her arm. "I know you love me, just not as much as Severus—" she teased, then returned to her books.

Revitalized, I gathered my things and headed to the dormitory, leaving my revision behind to plan my confession.

The next day, I couldn't wait any longer. Finals were approaching, and Severus was busy studying, sometimes in the common room, sometimes in the Potions lab.

Taking a precious vial of Felix Felicis, I felt a pang of guilt for using it. But desperate times called for desperate measures. Feeling increasingly confident, I headed to the eighth floor. Lily, supporting me, didn't go to the Room of Requirement. As soon as I entered, Severus got up to head to the Potions lab to practice for the exam. Keeping my expression neutral, I grabbed my Potions book and followed him.

Severus glanced at me at the Potions lab door, ready to ask me something. I quickly spoke up. "I need to practice too. Can you help me, Severus? I'll never pass without your guidance!" I pleaded, looking at him pitifully.

Remembering my poor Potions grades, Severus's mouth twitched. He stepped inside, leaving the door open.

Once inside, I followed my instincts and quietly locked the door. Severus, already at the workbench, arranging equipment, didn't notice. Standing behind him, I felt everything falling into place.

"Severus, I have something to tell you."

He turned, seeing my serious expression, and faced me fully.

"I don't know why you've been avoiding me," I began. Seeing him about to speak, I continued, "Don't deny it. I can tell."

Severus's face stiffened. I pressed on, "No matter what you're thinking, I need to tell you how I feel."

Looking sincerely into his eyes, I said, "I love you, not just as a friend, but romantically."

Severus's eyes widened in disbelief. I knew he thought I was joking, mocking him.

"I'm serious! I realized my feelings last year, but I was too scared," I admitted, though the last words were weak. "Severus, I'm in love with you."

He was still shocked. Searching his eyes, I found a hint of joy and smiled, knowing he had feelings for me too.

My smile made Severus blink, and he averted his gaze. "Thank you for your affection, but we're too different, a Slytherin and a Gryffindor."

"You're saying this after being friends for four years?" I mimicked his raised eyebrow. "Is that really your excuse?"

He looked flustered for a moment, then regained composure, his tone resolute. "What if I told you I've been studying Dark Arts? I'm the typical evil Slytherin they talk about," he said bitterly. "Would you, the righteous Gryffindor, still want to be my friend?"

"Why not? It's surprising, but you're still Severus." I frowned. "And what does this have to do with my confession? Don't change the subject."

Severus was at a loss for words. I softened my tone. "I understand what you mean. But Dark Arts or not, what matters is the user's heart. If it's to protect loved ones, I wouldn't reject Dark Arts. Though Lily might not understand, I'm confident I can convince her."

"I..." Severus seemed anxious, glancing at the door. "I need to think..."

He started towards the door, but my instincts took over. I grabbed his arm, the momentum pulling me into his chest.