Chapter 1

It's spring.

The flowers were blooming before my eyes.

The colours, pink, brown, yellow, green,

All of them I'm sure it looked beautiful.

I saw them in the picture book everyday.

I sometime saw it when I looked out of the window from my bed.

The nurse opened the window when it's morning.

However, she closed it when it gets a little cold.

I wanted to saw it longer.

I asked her to extend the time, but she refused.

She said it will be bad for my heart.

She gave the same reason when I asked her to take me around.

I wanted to touch it.

I wanted to smell it.

I wanted to see it closer.

I couldn't see winter because it was too cold.

I couldn't see summer because it was too hot.

Then why I couldn't see the spring?

I asked the nurse to tell my parent I wanted to get out from here.

She looked at me with such a sad face on her face.

She walked away like she always do.

She used to tell me that my parents died in an accident.

But it couldn't be true, right?

My fate was bad enough.

Why god make it harder and lonelier for me right?

They must be lying to me.

That's right, they probably just teasing me.

********

Today was my birthday.

I'm 12 now.

Mom, dad, where are you now?

Today was my birthday, yet why nobody celebrate it with me?

I have no friend.

The teacher came teaching me in this bed, so I didn't have any chance to make any friend.

Mom, could you hug me like you always do?

Dad, could you teach me to play football like you promised to?

I'm lonely.

*********

Mom, dad, It's the last week of spring.

I have not yet seen any flower from this season.

I sorry, but I decided to get out from here.

I'm sorry I will not be a good boy again.

But, I really wanted to see it.

I wanted to be free.

I wanted to be like any other boy in my age.

So please, forgive me for what I'm about to do.

I called the nurse.

I asked her for a t-shirt and pants around my size because I was uncomfortable in the hospital's outfit.

She seemed reluctant at first, but she gave up and went out shopping for it.

She returned with a lovely red shirt and blue cotton pants for me.

I thanked her and she went to do her other job.

I quickly put on my shirt and looking for a perfect time to escape.

In the afternoon, most of the nurse went for lunch.

There were doctors around, but most of them probably don't remember my face.

I snuck out from the door, ducked under the main counter as a precaution, and ran out from the main door.

As soon as I got out, the sunlight are a little too bright, making my eyes a little hurt.

After my eyes adjusted to the light, There were heaven before my eyes.

It was the same as in the books.

I climbed the bench in the park and plucked out the flower.

The colors are vibrant.

The smells are sweet.

The flower was soft.

It was everything I imagined.

I wished I could show it to you, mom, dad.

But something was wrong with me at that time.

I felt dizzy.

I felt like my vision was very blurry.

**********

"Are you okay?"

I woke up just to see a woman's face looking at me.

I was lying on her lap, on the bench.

I got up quickly as soon as possible.

I apologized to her.

I felt bad for her.

She had to take care of me while I fainted.

She said it's okay.

She asked me about my parents.

I kept silence about it.

I just didn't know how to answer that question.

Should I just tell her I haven't met my parents since I was six?

What will happen when I tell her that?

Will she sent me back to the hospital?

I don't want that!

However, she just smiled silently.

Suddenly, a girl around my age came to her with an ice-cream.

She gave it to her while calling her mommy.

It's nice.

I wished mother was here with me.

You could be friend with her, you know?

When she saw me, she got excited.

Too excited apparently.

She screamed and swinging my body back and forth.

She asked me to play with her.

Without thinking much, I agree with her.

Maybe I just desperate to have friends.

That's why I easily agree to go with her.

As she dragged my arm to the playground at the center of the park, I took a look at her mother.

She smiled happily.

Maybe she know I was lonely.

Maybe she was being considerate to not asked about me.

*********

I played with her until evening.

I went back to the hospital as soon as possible when the sky had turned orange.

I thanked her and her mother for the time she spent with me.

She said she would be willing to let her daughter to play with me again.

*********

As soon as I arrived at the hospital, I snuck into my room, and sat on the bed like I never leaved.

Then seconds later, a nurse and a doctor came in for my daily treatment.

He put his stethoscope on my chest to check my heartbeat.

When he received the result, he quickly told the nurse to take his stuff.

He said my heartbeat are super low.

What was that mean, mom? Dad?

I'm scared.

Am I gonna be dead like those heroes in the movies?

At least they died doing the things they love.

I have not done anything I love.

Why my bodies are like this.

I'm sad mom.

Please hug me.

The nurse came back with a lot of stuff that I didn't know it's name.

He put something in the IV drop and stab it into my veins.

They spend the whole night trying to keep me safe.

They keep asking me how I felt.

They tried to make me feel I was loved by them.

Yet, I felt they were scared of my condition.

Dad, why are they like that?

Oh wait,

You're not here with me right now.