Unwanted Child

Disclaimer:

This story is inspired by one of the Indonesian wayang stories.

This story is not intended to insult or ridicule any particular race, ethnicity, or caste group. Because we are human beings, we should respect diversity.

This story is pure fiction, so read wisely.

Peace be upon all of you.

***

There was a young woman who was heavily pregnant. She groaned in pain in the middle of the jungle. But, there was no one to help her, nobody accompanying her. She might be too young to be a mother. However, it wasn't entirely her fault.

For now, she didn't want to think about the man who had made her suffer for nine months and ten days. She just wanted to give birth to the baby so she could get on with her own life, even though she knew it would be painful for the rest of her life.

With gasping breaths, sweat soaking her face and all over her body, the young woman strained again and again. Two legs bend, straddling wider. Again she groaned with both elbows resting on the ground.

Blood seeped from the gap of her groin, partially wetting the batik cloth that covered from the waist to the young woman's knees.

She continued to strain, until one moment, the woman put all the energy she had to press and strain stronger.

She screamed so loudly that she was able to make the entire wilderness of fear. The birds flew from their nests, the jungle animals cried out to each other.

The crying sound of the baby who was still red and covered in blood greeted the inhabitants of the wilderness.

The young woman was knocked to the ground with her chest rapidly rising, panting.

With the rest of the energy she still had, the young woman rose up, grabbing the baby she had just given birth to.

A baby boy has been born into the world, the sound of crying as if a marker that a new chapter of the baby's life itself is about to begin.

The young woman smiled in tears. She wiped her baby's face with tears in her eyes. Kissing the baby with great emotion and guilt.

The crackling sound behind shocked the young woman, she turned her head but didn't see anything there. With half-trembling, the young woman circulated her gaze while tightly hugging the baby in her hand.

There's nothing that she can see. Maybe it's just a deer or other animal that happens to pass by.

The young woman grabbed the bundle of batik cloth beside her quickly as if she was afraid of something. With a limping and trembling pace, she left the place, carrying the bundle as well as the baby.

She continued to fast, occasionally looking back. She hugged the baby who was still crying in her arms.

She arrived now on the banks of a river with clear water. Again she looked back, after feeling safe, she crouched on the banks of the river.

She fetched up the clean and refreshing river water, then rubbed her baby's face and head with trembling hands.

Twice times she did that, and always with sobs that faltered.

"I'm so sorry, son..." She said in such a quiet voice.

The baby cries louder as if he can feel that one bad thing will happen to his fate. The two tiny hands moved for attention, the loud cry as if asking his mother to cancel the decision that was inside her head.

The young woman, who was still in tears, pulled out one side of the top of her clothes, removing her breasts to give her baby milk. But the baby cried even louder as if he refusing to be breastfed by his mother.

"Please, drink..." The mother whispered while suppressing her feelings.

Because the baby did not want to breastfeed, the young woman grabbed her bundle. The bundle contained clean clothes for the woman to wear later as a replacement dress on her body now. There is also a basket of woven pandan leaves.

The young woman grabbed the basket, opening the folds of the object, using the leaves of a wild plant that grows on the riverbank, and the young woman coated the inside of the basket. She grabbed a long batik cloth among her piles of clothes. And use the cloth to bandage the baby's body.

The baby cried louder while the mother kissed him with tears.

"Please forgive me..." The young woman said in a hoarse voice. "Forgive me..."

With a crushing heart and a great of sin feeling, the young woman kissed the baby again and she put the baby into the basket of pandan leaves. The baby's cries grew louder as hard as the young woman suppressed her feelings of sadness.

She dragged the basket near the riverbank. With a tearful face, the young woman washed her baby in the basket with the stream.

The young woman was still kneeling on the banks of the river with her gaze always fixed on the basket of pandan leaves that were washed away by the river currents.

The sound of the baby's crying that was getting longer and more heard away made the young woman stunned with her head bowed.

Then suddenly her head jerked, looked up to the high heavens, and cried out very loudly as if she cursed the circumstances that forced her to cruelly to her own blood.

After her tears subsided, and the young woman could no longer see the basket containing her baby on the surface of the river, she hurried to take off the clothes on her body. The clothes were thrown into the river.

With the water from the banks of the river, she cleaned her naked body, especially in the bloodied groin. Like someone who was being chased in fear, the young woman then put on a replacement dress that she had brought before with the bundle earlier.

From the clothes that the young woman was wearing now, it was not the least bit apparent that she came from a lower-class family. Whatever underlies her actions just now towards her baby, there is no longer a word to back down. She's already made up her mind.

After throwing away all the things she didn't need, once again the young woman looked towards the stream and tried her hardest not to cry anymore, suppressing the feelings raging inside her chest.

"Please forgive me," she whispered alone. "I entrust yourself to your own destiny that will determine what kind of life will be given to you. My son. If you were destined to stay alive. Please, forgive my decision..."

The young woman then left the riverside area, re-entering the wilderness in a different direction.

***