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Never Fully Walking Through the Door

The end of World War I was supposed to bring peace, an end to turmoil. But then, the inner turmoil begins. Unspoken pain, unspoken certainties, who will be the first to make the move... and wanting desperately to find someone to love you for who you are... we have all been there. The thrill of that first moment when you think you are in love, and when you can't tell the difference between wanting to be in love versus actually loving. Seeming short but long, seeming long but short... Victoria will have to find her path and her way of loving both herself and others around her. And to distinguish what is real versus what is desired. Thank you so much for all your support, for reading, for gifting, for contributing your hard-earned Power Stones. In the end, this novel is about vulnerability, and how comfortable we are with facing our vulnerabilities and "being" despite the pain and uncertainties that confront us every time we choose a path. So as you read, take a moment to think about yourself, your vulnerabilities, your pain, and remember what it was like at that moment and how long it took for you to overcome it. And don't judge Victoria, Vernon, Serena, and the Callahan men so harshly... And how now, all that seems to be a hazy, distant memory.

Jqk7194 · 歴史
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20 Chs

Prologue

Lady Victoria Regina Brown watched as her mother, Lady Guenevere Regina Brown, pecked her husband's cheek and placed her slender, black gloved hand on his shoulder. "I will be upstairs, darling. I am feeling somewhat faint."

Guenevere's husband nodded, folding his paper. "I will check on you later."

Guenevere smiled tiredly and walked out of the room. Victoria stood up and knelt down at her father's knee, looking up at him. The Earl of Sullivan, Dr. Gilbert Sullivan Brown, smiled into his daughter's eyes as he placed an arm around her thin shoulders.

"How are you, Victoria?" Gilbert asked kindly.

Victoria smiled. "I'm fine, papa," she replied calmly. "Is mother ill?"

"She certainly is not feeling well," Gilbert replied half-truthfully. "And has not been these past few days understandably. But I wouldn't say that she is ill, darling."

"It's because of Amanda, isn't it?" Victoria asked with all the solemnness that a thirteen year old could summon up. "It's because Amanda passed away."

Gilbert glanced at his youngest and favorite child. She was very precocious, always realizing more than her sharp and incisive mind was capable of understanding. He suppressed a sigh and said nothing.

"Mother always did love Amanda the most," Victoria remarked quietly.

"Do not be foolish, Victoria," Gilbert remonstrated half-heartedly. "Your mother loves all of you equally. But when a mother loses her child, it is difficult to recover. She'll be fine though," he reassured. "You'll see."

"Mother is going to raise Brian, isn't she?" Victoria asked dully, referring to Amanda's child.

"When Theodore returns from the States, he will take care of Brian," answered Gilbert quietly, wishing that Victoria was not so persistent with her questions.

"Did Amanda really love Teddy?" Victoria asked curiously, her eyes widening. "She didn't even like the baby before it came."

Gilbert ignored the question. "Your mother cannot be put aside from Brian's life forever, Victoria," he answered gravely without answering Victoria's original question. "She will have a say in his life."

"And you, father? What do you want?" Victoria asked - she knew her father had never approved of the marriage between Theodore Wilson and his eldest daughter.

Gilbert sighed, knowing that he could not keep the truth from his most perceptive child. "I would like Theodore to marry a sensible young lady who will not abuse Brian." The lines around his mouth were grim. "I am quite fond of Brian, if not Theodore, Vicky."

Victoria nodded. "Yes, I know. Brian is your grandson. Teddy is only your... son-in-law."

Gilbert nodded and held out his hand to his daughter. He forced a smile. "You have grown the last few months, haven't you, Victoria?" he asked heartily, rather too cheerfully.

Victoria nodded, knowing her father had purposely changed the subject. "Yes, father. Two inches," she answered solemnly.

Gilbert nodded and kissed his daughter on the head. "Go upstairs and study your lessons, Victoria. I want to speak with your mother."

Victoria nodded, obediently walking up the stairs. She paused, her hand on the railing, and turned around slowly. She watched her father for a few more minutes before quietly walking upstairs to her room.