1 Prologue

Ding Ding

As the bells chimed, the mysterious figure strutted down the hall like a peacock, with each step causing the bells to jingle louder. He pressed the elevator button with his perfectly-manicured hand, adorned with purple nail polish.

"Finally, the moment of reckoning has arrived," he whispered, his voice trembling with excitement.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, but his whole body was quivering with anticipation. Suddenly, the elevator door opened, revealing a stressed-out middle-aged lady in a blue business dress with visible wrinkles. Her daughter stood beside her, looking bored and hungry.

"Mom, can we go eat now?" the young girl whined.

"Sorry, sweetie, we'll be there soon," the mother replied before noticing the peculiar figure before her. Instinctively, she shielded her daughter and stepped back.

The man wore a giant straw hat with two small bells attached to one side. He had wrapped himself in a black robe with red clouds, revealing only his face, hands, and toes. His open-toed shoes displayed his purple-painted toenails.

"Don't be afraid, my dear lady. We hail from the same village," the man reassured her, nodding his head as he entered the elevator.

Causing the lady to shriek back into a corner, the man pressed the first-floor button. "I meant no harm," he said, as the elevator descended.

Without a care in the world, the eccentric man waited for the elevator to reach its destination, ignoring the awkward silence between him and the mother-daughter duo.

"Mom, is that guy playing dress-up?" the little girl whispered, pointing at the man's ridiculous outfit.

"Shhh!" the mother hushed her, covering her mouth and eyeing the man warily. "Don't say anything. We don't want to trigger a psychopath."

The elevator doors finally opened, revealing a grand lobby with glass walls, a fancy wooden desk, and P.O. boxes on the side. The mother quickly dragged her daughter out, eager to escape from the man's creepy aura.

The man, however, was unfazed by their reaction and even seemed amused by it. He strolled towards the door, his bells jingling with every step.

"Mr. Frederick, heading out again?" the old desk clerk greeted him with a bow.

"Charles, my man, I'll be gone for a couple of weeks. Hold onto any packages for me, will you?"

"Of course, sir," Charles replied, trying not to stare at the man's bizarre attire.

As the man stepped outside, the chaos of the city hit him like a ton of bricks. Cars honked incessantly, vendors yelled at passersby, and the smell of hot dogs filled the air.

He spotted a black Prius parked nearby, with a man glued to his phone and ignoring the world around him. The man chuckled to himself and shook his head. "Ah, technology. The downfall of human interaction," he muttered as he approached the car.

As the peculiarly dressed man approached, the driver's face scrunched up in confusion. "Are you James Frederick?" the man asked with a hint of worry.

Without answering, the man bit his thumb dramatically and began weaving hand seals at lightning speed. "I, Inu, Tori, Saru, Hitsuji," he chanted before slamming his hand onto the pavement. "Summoning Jutsu!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, causing bystanders to gawk in amazement.

Beaming with pride, he jumped into the car and shouted, "Quick! To the airport, I have no time to waste!"

The confused driver palms grew sweaty, and his face twisted in embarrassment. He had never felt so awkward in his life. He hopped in the car, and they were off.

The driver glanced at his passenger through the rearview mirror and noticed a smug smile on his face. If he weren't afraid of getting a bad UberX rating, he'd reach back and punch the guy.

As they drove, the tension in the car grew unbearable. "You must think I'm a fool," the man said, breaking the silence.

The driver stared at him for a moment before asking, "Are you some kind of actor or something?"

The man grinned. "Nope, just a fan. Ever heard of Naruto?"

The driver sneered. "No."

Undeterred, the man continued, "Well, I'm the world's biggest Naruto fan club leader. It might not sound impressive to you, but I had to learn four different languages just to make the club."

The passenger rolled his eyes. "That's nice."

The man chuckled to himself. "Don't worry, I won't force you to join. But if you ever change your mind, I know all the hand seals to summon your inner ninja."

As he spoke, the man's eyebrows rose a little, giving the impression that he was impressed. Meeting someone who could speak five languages was always impressive, no matter who you were.

"Is that why you're dressed up? Going to one of those Comic-Con things?" The man's attitude changed completely. While he may not have known what Naruto was, this passenger was international.

"Right. I'm holding an event in Hawaii. I invited Masashi Kishimoto to convince him to reboot the series. There are a lot of inconsistencies and plot holes he can fix now that the series is over, but I doubt he would be happy to see me. In the latter half of the series, he got carried away with the dragon ball effect, moving away from hand seals for jutsu. For every jutsu he didn't show the hand signs for, I'd write to him demanding to know, so I could compile them into the fan Jutsu book for the club." He began rambling about the show and manga, pointing out all the inconsistencies and complaining about all the mysteries that remained unsolved.

At first, the driver was slightly annoyed by his excessive talking, but as long as you were not a spiteful person, listening to someone talk about something they loved would eventually get you excited.

"So you're telling me that the Fourth Hokage was his dad, and they never told him? Why? It sounded like he had a terrible childhood, and knowing who his parents were wouldn't hurt anyone, especially since everyone knew the fox was inside him anyway. Why keep it a secret?"

"Brother, it looks like we're here, but now you're asking the real questions." Smiling, he opened the door and stepped out of the car. "Remember to check out that website I told you about. It can answer a lot of your questions." Walking towards the airport entrance, he waved behind him.

"Brother, have a safe flight!" Tears glistened in the corners of his eyes. "Unafraid to live his life with people judging him, what a real man."

As he swaggered towards the entrance, he tilted his hat backward, letting it dangle like a backpack, revealing his unruly mop of dark brown hair and piercing green eyes. His youthful twenty-something face was now on full display.

"Last time, they held me up for hours just because of my hat. No need to stir the pot," he muttered under his breath.

Inside the airport, a frenzied sea of people rushed back and forth, all in a hurry. Ignoring the chaos, he made a beeline for the security checkpoint.

Rummaging through his cloak, he pulled out his cellphone and ticket. Removing his hat altogether, he placed them inside before placing them on the conveyor belt. As he watched his belongings glide through the x-ray machine, he confidently strutted through the metal detector.

Despite receiving some dirty looks from the TSA agents, they let him pass without incident since he's a regular at the airport, visiting multiple times a month. Retrieving his items, he strolled towards his terminal with a smirk on his face, thinking to himself, "Smooth as butter, baby."