Fucking Bitch

As hours turned into weeks and weeks into months, I finally realized something…

This baby life isn't nearly as thrilling as that demonic voice made it sound. Since that bastard voice never bothered to tell me its name, I just call it the demonic voice. Fits, doesn't it?

But seriously, it's been absolutely insane at times. Like, one time, it fed me a torture method straight out of the devil's playbook.

It went something like this: "If a man refuses to spill his secrets, sew that fucker's dickhole shut, shove a thick pipe up his asshole, and pour molten wax through the pipe."

Yeah, let that sink in. And believe me, that's apparently the merciful method. I shudder to think what this voice considers extreme.

...Anyway, back to the point. Baby life sucks. All I can do is lay in this crib, crap my pants, wait for someone to clean me, get breastfed by my mom—or a maid, whatever—and then get patted on the back like some idiot before drifting off to sleep again. It's a vicious cycle of boredom.

Oh, and let me tell you about the servants. Those bastards actually tried to poke their fingers into my precious little butthole.

Unforgivable. I swear, when I grow up, I'm cutting off their fingers, grilling them, and shoving them up their own assholes until they burst.

I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE.

"Hehehehehehehhehehehhehehehehe..."

Third Person View

Sigh... Why is my son so… weird?

A woman with long black hair and striking blue eyes stood in the doorway of a fairly large room. The space was packed with toys scattered around, and a crib sat in the center.

Inside, her baby, with blonde hair and bright blue eyes, was laughing quietly like a maniac—or perhaps, more accurately, like a madbaby.

{A/N: Boss Baby might have some serious competition here.}

"Jashin, what are you laughing about so cutely?"

She muttered as she walked slowly toward the crib, her tone soft but clearly concerned. Reaching in, she gently picked up the baby, holding him close as his giggles finally subsided.

This woman, Juri, was Jashin's mother—and in Jashin's eyes, the easiest pawn to manipulate.

"Mama..."

Jashin said, "Mama," with an angelic smile that could probably make gods pause and question if they'd accidentally sent an actual angel down to Earth.

It was the kind of innocent expression that screamed divine, but we all know better. Everyone reading this knows the little demon's true nature, so let's not waste time pretending otherwise.

Juri, oblivious to her son's inner chaos, checked the era's version of a diaper. She let out a sigh of relief—it was clean.

Thank the heavens. She really wasn't in the mood to deal with poop first thing in the morning.

Not that she enjoyed the task any other time of day, but getting the maids to do it wasn't an option thanks to Jashin's grandmother being a stickler for "proper motherly duties."

"WHAT A BITCH."

That summed up Juri's feelings perfectly.

In short, she was the Gen Z of this era, while Jashin's grandmother was the Millennial—or at least that's how Juri saw it.

Not entirely accurate, but you get the point.

"Okay, son, the day has come," Juri declared with dramatic flair, scooping Jashin up like he was a plush teddy bear. She held him tightly as she started walking out of the room, her steps purposeful.

Jashin's face froze in shock, his baby blue eyes wide. "Did I miss some critical information?"

He racked his tiny brain, recalling how he'd faked sleep last night to eavesdrop on the maids' late-night gossip. From what they'd said, he had pieced together a solid understanding of everything happening around him.

His philosophy was simple "Fake it till you make it"

He found about almost everything except for one thing—the way chakra was produced in this world.

It was frustrating. If he had even the slightest clue, this little demon would've already turned his baby body into a chakra-producing factory by now.

....

As Juri exited Jashin's room and entered a large hallway, she made a sharp left turn, walking briskly like she was on some kind of mission.

Jashin, cradled in her arms, could only stare at the polished wooden floor passing below and sigh internally.

'Sigh… Where is this woman even taking me?'

The little guy's brain was firing on all cylinders, running through every possible scenario his limited baby-level intel could conjure.

Seriously, this kid was thinking faster than most adults could even hope to process.

If Jashin had access to all the information in the world, Doctor Strange himself would be sweating bullets at the sheer number of scenarios Jashin could generate.

But, alas, with his current knowledge, the mental possibilities were limited. So, for now, he just rolled with it. Whatever.

"Good morning, Juri-sama."

"Good morning, Juri-sama."

Servants lined the hallway, bowing slightly as they greeted Juri with the utmost formality. None dared to make direct eye contact with her, their heads dipped in deference.

Juri, on the other hand, didn't even acknowledge their presence. She just kept walking, her pace unrelenting, leaving the servants to mutter a quiet "Fucking Bitch" under their breaths once she passed.

Meanwhile, Jashin's thoughts drifted from calculating his next move to just hoping this wasn't some overly dramatic baby ceremony.

'Noted.

I just stored all of this in my brain for later. Watching the servants scurry around in their clean, well-colored clothes told me something important—

These weren't the slaves my clan had bought; these were the "free" ones. Probably paid decently, or at least better than the ones who had no choice.

But then there was my mom. The way she walked past them without a single glance, and the way those servants looked at her—with that faint fear or unease in their eyes—yeah, she's definitely no saint.

Not that I expected her to be.

All I have to do now is wait until I grow up and see how she decides to present herself to me. Will she go for the "merciful angel" act?

All sweet smiles and motherly love? Or will she show me her true colors?

If she does the angel routine, that's a red flag. It'd mean she's trying to manipulate me for something, and if that's the case, she's definitely hiding something big.

Sigh... Fine. I'll play along for now, but I'm keeping score.'

See what I was talking about? Lil bro can find out about your entire personality just by seeing you act for some seconds he is too dangerous.. 

'If this is about me getting some weird forehead mark or blessing, I'm out,' he thought, his frustration bubbling under the surface.