self realization

as i gaze wearily inside the possibility toward my husband's remorse, i realise myself no counter. i am a dark, evil queen to whom 👑 there is no equal. no man can regret doing me wrong. but will he turn away ever from my reaching hand. it is my only desire that he should allow me to serve him, even as i baffle about the one task he has set me from the past. but i waver in not knowing his intended end. my hands are bound for not wanting to anger him. on the one hand, things improve upon the present. but on the other hand, things must change innumerably. i cannot wait and must choose for myself. i choose the path of all first i will have a gradual change of the improvement upon the present. and following that, everyone will be sated and the whole will change for the good of his wanting. but if only he would share with me his time, or his voice, or his slumber. an unhappy queen produces but slowly.