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My teenage high school romance comedy can't be this perverted!

A oreigaru or snafu/DxD crossover featuring our infamous loner Hikigaya Hachiman who for unknown reasons was suddenly ripped from his reality and dropped into this foreign world filled with danger in every corner. And he needs to find a a way to deal with his new overly attached and attention-seeking 'friends'. I primarily focus on fanfiction.net, when a new chapter gets released or I have some important news, I'll most likely post it there first. I'll try to make things work here as well. Also don't forget to review and stuff, I want to know your thoughts on my story! And all chapters are between 2k - 4k words.

NimtheWriter · アニメ·コミックス
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94 Chs

Chapter 4: Not again!

-Hachiman POV-

Early morning was one of the worst times of the day for any self-respecting human being.

'7:03 AM'

I still had roughly an hour and thirty minutes before school started... and that... one more... hour... of... sleep.

"HACHIMAN WAKE UP! IT'S TIME FOR SCHOOL!"

Like a cat having its tail stepped on, my body flew mid-air for a brief moment before hitting the floor with a loud thud.

'Hmmm, the floor is not too bad to sleep on.'

Mom banged on the door, again. If she put any more force in her hits then the handle would break for sure.

"I said WAKE UP, you lazy bum! Little Akeno-chan will be here soon enough to come pick you up!"

And there went my sleep, utterly crushed. I could feel a headache coming on. Did the devil create early school hours to feast upon the misery and despair of people like me? Probably.

"My back, I'm getting too old for this."

Say what you want about such thoughts not making sense spoken by a 9-year-old but let me remind you that I was mentally 26. Therefore, as an adult 'mentally' I had every right to be as unreasonable and difficult to deal with as the mighty 'Karens' from overseas.

Getting up from the floor I checked the general situation of my room. Spartan was an apt description, as aside from my hobby of reading light novels I didn't have much in my bedroom. The room itself contained nothing more than a single bed, an office desk, and a small bookshelf for my novels.

Why didn't I have other things in my room?

Mostly because I couldn't be bothered for the most part and secondly, nearly everything I knew about manga and anime had a bootleg version of it in this reality as well. Dragon ball had its version here called Drag-so-ball, with the plot being identical.

'Seriously, some guy up there is messing with me.'

Getting myself ready with a morning shower and after putting on my school uniform I went downstairs to have breakfast with my parents. As of now I truly thought about them as family, they have done everything in their ability to pamper me with all the love and affection that I had rarely seen with my previous parents.

Don't get me wrong I loved both of my families but my original wage slave parents could have learned a thing or two from Souichirou and Chiasa.

The doorbell rang, I already knew who it was.

"Oh, that must be Akeno-chan, quickly finish your food Hachiman!"

Geez woman, slow down a bit, will you? Besides, I'm done with my breakfast anyway. Grabbing my bag and leaving my house I waved my hand goodbye at my parents. When I walked outside, I came to face Akeno.

'Calling her Akeno now seemed a bit too personal, it was fine when we were kids but now I'd rather add the san part due to our current age.'

"Yo Himejima-san." I greeted her with the same lazy hand wave from before.

Though I expected some sort of negative reaction from her, I didn't expect to have a full-on school bag lightly crash into my face.

"Oof!"

"Mouuuu, Hachiman-kun what did I tell you about only calling me by my given name?"

At least she learned to properly remember my name. Ah, there she goes pouting again. Too bad for her I have developed the 'Anti Akeno cuteness shield', one of my newest 108 skills, to its max. Begone demon, you have no power here.

"Can't do that Himejima-san," I said, "We're no longer little kids so I should be more respectful towards you."

And I didn't want to have another target behind my back. For you see, the little Akeno has grown up a bit too quickly in my opinion, and had the appearance of a 13-year-old teen. Didn't believe me? Yeah even I had a hard time accepting this fact and I hang out with her nearly every day.

Akeno's hair grew down to her back, her violet eyes became more intense, having a more magical aspect to them and she even had small breasts already growing.

From her voice to her height.

'Which she already surpasses me and for which I'm totally NOT jealous, nope, not one bit.'

It all changed drastically. Like seriously, what the heck is up with her family genes? I want some of that too.

God if you're listening, get me out of this childish body.

It shouldn't be a surprise that she already started attracting the attention of the opposite gender from various ages. A bunch of creeps if you were to ask me. To make things worse her sticking to me constantly like glue already garnered a lot of glares and even hate-filled eyes.

Stupid hormonal kids who can't think with their brains.

Now that I thought about it, didn't the concept of being followed by a 'beauty' kinda mirror Hayama's style in a sense…

I banished the thought as quickly as it came. I'd rather be buried 6 feet under than become an edgy version of that fake riajuu. But there was some truth to it, as I can't even call myself a loner right now.

"Hikima, you meanie!"

Ah, that cursed name! She always brought it back to annoy me, especially around crowds of people as a sign of affection.

"If you won't call me Akeno, you leave me no choice." she started, her voice growing increasingly huskier.

"Looks like I'll have to," Akeno's voice was now downright sinful, "Punish you~"

All the while she was invading my personal space, wrapping around my right arm and pushing herself against it.

I had a chill run up my spine followed by goosebumps.

Wha- Nope, nope, nope. My Haruno—soon to be renamed Akeno—danger sensors were off the charts. That tone of voice should never be used, or even possible for that matter, by a young girl in any instance! That coupled with her current body made me feel like I'd sinned just by being near her.

I swear there is a hidden PSIA agent somewhere keeping tabs on me.

This girl, who used to be an angel whom the likes of Totsuka would feel challenged by, was slowly descending to become something dangerous. Must be her dusty old man's fault, that guy surely has had some porn mags hidden somewhere only to have his daughter discover them or something.

Yeah… Porn magazines were still a thing in this reality, despite having access to the internet and saving everything on the cloud, people still buy physical copies... amateurs.

I hope no one came to see my browsing history before coming to this world…

"Fine. How was your day... Akeno-sa-," she squeezed my arm closer to her chest, "-CHAN?" I squeaked out.

Seriously this girl is way too dangerous already. I better step up my game or else. Trying to regain my personal space I only came to a stop after noticing her iron grip on my forearm.

"Hachiman, will you stop by the shrine later on?" she asked me.

It was not completely unexpected, many times in the past she had invited me over. I rather enjoyed my time there as the peaceful atmosphere always cleared my mind from all my dark thoughts. Shuri-san was very welcoming, always preparing tea or snacks for myself and Akeno-...Chan.

Her father, Baraqiel-san, was complicated. I knew he was hiding something. The man never felt normal, like he was holding some deeply hidden secret. Regardless, his love for his family was genuine and I could respect that.

"I have something important I want to show you... something I wanted to reveal to you for a while," she said in a meek voice.

She refused to meet my gaze almost as if too scared or nervous of something. It must be quite personal.

"Oi don't be so nervous, as long as you don't tell me that you were a boy all along then there's nothing to worry about." I tried being as nonchalant as possible, and she ended up giggling before visibly relaxing.

"Yeah, as long as it's you Hachiman I'm sure you will understand. Come by during the evening. Mother told me that Father would be gone for a bit."

Huh, Baraqiel-san was finally leaving the shrine? Now that's a first, I always see him inside the shrine whenever I visited, I assumed he worked online or something.

"By the way, mother prepared some bento for you too."

Oh, and I also get to eat more of Shuri-san's amazing cooking. Truly food tastes best when you don't have to work for it.

"Tell Shuri-san that I said thanks."

From the moment we first met, Akeno's mother had already started doting on me with love and care. For some ungodly reason, she found my dead fish eyes cute. Seriously, that family really was filled with weirdos.

{Break}

As always school was boring. I already knew every subject there was to know but I had to force myself to make some mistakes here and there. I never tried occupying the top of my class for long, as I purposely would go for second or third and then back to first. I kept the appearance of a hardworking intelligent boy but in no way could someone consider me a genius.

During my time at school, you could say I'd made… acquaintances. The boys already hated me so most of my contacts were girls and I knew exactly what you were thinking but I swear that I was not a stupid anime protagonist.

Murayama and Katase were some of the kids I knew who treated me normally. At first, they mostly tried to approach me so that they could get closer to Akeno. Of course, I didn't give them any attention aside from a few quotes and jabs that went above their still innocent minds. I never tried nor cared about befriending them in the slightest. They were just your typical girls who already want to form their own clique.

But somehow their attitude changed somewhere along the lines as now they just spend their free time talking about random stuff while sitting near my desk, much to my annoyance. Can't you guys see when a guy puts a book to his face it generally means that he wants to be left alone?

"Hikigaya, you really should do something about your hair, it looks ugly when you don't comb it!" the pinkette said, her brunette friend nodding along, "Yeah, a nice hairstyle would totally suit you. Try combing it backward, it will go well with your scary eyes. Look at Minato-kun and Tendo-kun, they look so handsome!"

This turned out to be another form of torture, if I didn't shut them up somehow, they wouldn't stop.

"Don't put me on their level. I don't care about looking interesting. I am just self-conscious."

There, got it? Now shoo, I wanted to finish this book before school ended.

"Wow, Hikigaya-kun you sound like an old man sometimes but you should really try something or else you won't have any friends," advised Katase.

"Why would I need other friends when I already have you guys?"

Who, admittedly, were already big enough pains in the back. I was a loner for god's sake, not a normie! Now shoo! Being alone is a heavenly experience and I wished to return to it.

Now they grew silent.

Finally.

Blessed silence.

"Geez Hikigaya-kun, you truly are an idiot," said a red-faced Murayama, probably out of anger.

"Yeah, yeah like I haven't heard a thousand times already."

I better pack up; traveling to the shrine does take a while.

{Break}

Ah, I messed up.

Riding my bicycle along the mountain path made me hit a random sharp stone on the road and now my tires and dead. Now I had to resort to walking all the way while lugging my bike. I may have improved physically but this was still a very tiring activity for anyone unless you were an Olympic athlete in the making like Akeno.

I hope she wouldn't get mad at my lateness.

The Sun had already gone down and the night was soon to follow.

Weird.

Though this path was a bit far from the mainland of Kuoh it was still close enough for people to visit and walk around the peaceful setting. But today I couldn't see anyone present.

Vmmm

"What was that!?"

Out of nowhere I suddenly felt like I passed through a thin layer of water or something. Looking back I didn't notice anything unusual. Maybe it was the wind?

All of a sudden this place went from peaceful to creepy, I don't want to stay another moment here.

Something felt terribly wrong right now. I overlooked the fact that my legs were burning from the pain of walking for so long but this horrible feeling in my guts just kept getting worse. I had to make sure they were alright.

It was when I was close to the stairs leading to the shrine that I noticed it. A red and grey haze, settling over the horizon.

Smoke and fire.

No.

bz

No.

bzt-

No.

No no nonononononoNONONO!

"AKENO! SHURI-SAN!"

I ran using every ounce of strength my body could muster, the sounds of fire crackling and shouting getting louder and louder.

In the distance I noticed a group of people holding torches, spears, and swords. Were these the ones who caused all of this?

I could not allow them to see me, so finding a nearby big tree, I hid behind and listened closely to their conversation.

"Where did that traitor bitch and her demon spawn run off to!?" shouted one of the people who held a long spear.

"We're still searching for them, sir. The clan has dispatched our trackers to locate them as soon as possible."

"Sir, one of our scouts found traces of blood leading into the woods!"

"Then they must have run off there, find them and kill them!"

With a loud shout, the group's leader brought his men to the woods leaving behind an unseen Hachiman.

I had to find those two before these animals do! My knees were quivering from fear, exhaustion, and rage. I used every ounce of the memories I had of these woods to guess the safest place they would have run off to.

The west side of the shrine leads to the mountainous region of these lands. It's quite easy to get lost there as I have nearly done so before. It should be the best place to shake off any pursuers. Just hold on a bit more you two, I'll get you both out of here!

I ran through the forest, making sure to avoid any of those criminals. Fortunately, a full moon was present making my view of the place much clearer. Who were they? Why was this happening? Why would they target Akeno and her family?

As I approached the area I soon heard some faint sobbing near me.

Akeno! It had to be her. I did not shout her name, fearing some of those people would hear me. I carefully followed the sound till I found a scene that would haunt me for life.

A blood-soaked Akeno, her face filled with despair, holding a heavily injured Shuri who was bleeding from a stab wound on her thigh.

Those fucking bastards!

bzt-

I jumped out of the foliage scaring both Akeno and her mother.

Before the former could even scream I covered her mouth and whispered, "Calm down, it's just me Hachiman."

A dam broke loose from her eyes as more tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Hi-Hikima, Hiki-Hikima." I held her and Shuri-san close as she kept repeating my name.

The poor girl was traumatized, she and her mother nearly died. We have to leave.

"It's a-all his fa-fault," whispered the still crying Akeno.

What did she mean by 'his' fault?

"It's all fathers' fault! They came here because of him! They wanted to kill us because of him! He didn't come back! He almost let mother be killed! Why isn't he here?"

The girl was becoming hysterical, she was losing control of her emotions and letting rage take over herself.

"Akeno-chan, look at me."

I cupped her face, wiping away the tears, and brought my own close to reassure her as best as I could.

"Everything will be fine, I don't know the details nor do I care about them, all I want is to bring you and Shuri-san out of here safely."

She held her gaze with mine for a few seconds before closing them and hugging me once again, "Please Hikima... please save us."

"I will."

Looking over them I decided to pay more attention to the bleeding wound on Shuri-san's thighs. I was no doctor but I knew some emergency treatment to block the bleeding until we could get it treated by a professional.

"Leave me be, Hachiman-kun just take Akeno and run away from here before the other finds us."

Even when so close to death, Shuri-san still held the safety of her daughter and me over her own. But I didn't care, I promised to save both of them.

"Please leave me, Hachiman-kun," she pleaded and begged but I didn't acknowledge her words.

I tore away some cloth from my shirt before wrapping it around the wound to stop the bleeding.

"Listen here, I won't abandon you, so you better shut up and let me get you both out of here."

I asked Akeno to help me carry over Shuri-san before a voice sounded behind us.

"Oi, I found them!"

"SHIT!" We needed to move, now!

Completely out of my expectations the people behind us suddenly started shooting out freaking lasers like bolts over us. What the fuck was this shit, since when did magic exist?

Magic-like arrows rained down upon us, and we managed to dodge most of them until one of the attacks connected with my leg.

"ARRGH!"

We fell down the road, and I tried my best to turn my back and lessen the impact, protecting both Akeno and Shuri-san from further injuries, though subjecting my own body to more. Note to self: Road was gravel. Gravel just happened to be VERY sharp.

Yep, this was definitely leaving scars.

The pursuers quickly caught up to us, and I was desperately praying to all the gods I knew for a miracle that would save us.

'If there was an overpowered protagonist somewhere, now would be a good time to intervene!'

Bzt-

"Heh, so the disgusting abomination and her traitorous bitch of a mother have a helper? Fucking heretic," he spat, "you'd be better off dying alongside them."

The guy put on a maniacal smile while pointing his hand towards us with a magic circle forming ready to shoot down anything in front of it.

'Not like this...'

BZT-

I already lost Komachi, my mom, my dad, Yukinoshita, Yuigahma and everyone from my past.

BZZTS-

"Say goodbye you filthy hybrid."

Preparing to shoot us with a magical arrow, my anger finally exploded out in a deadly mix of rage and desperation.

...

-Grigori HQ-

"Penemue!"

The door of the Grigori's Chief of Secretary's office burst open with a disgruntled and shocked Azazel running in.

"Azazel, what happened? Why are you in such a state?" Penemue had never seen Azazel in such a state aside during the Great War so she feared something catastrophic had happened.

"Vri-Vritra!"

"What about Vritra!?"

"One of its Sacred Gears in our possession just vanished in front of me!"

{Break}

-Hachiman POV-

As the bolt of magic came closer, time seemed to slow down for Hikigaya Hachiman.

At this moment I was about to lose two of my closest people again.

I had to stop that attack, no matter what. I would do anything and give his everything to stop it.

Even using my body as a shield to buy them enough time to escape.

.

.

.

BZZTZZZZ!

The static sound overwhelmed me, a burning sensation came from my upper chest area.

.

.

.

"YOU WILL NOT FUCKING KILL THEM, YOU BASTARDS!"

.

.

.

[V̷R̷I̷T̶R̶A̵-̷ ̶D̶E̵L̵E̸T̶E̷ ̵F̸I̶E̴L̵D̴!̴]̷

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The next 5 chapters of Snafu, Harry Potter and my 3 other Fate fics (Fate Coiling Sword with 3 chapters, A Fake Familiar Reborn with 3 chapters and To love a sword having 4 chapters) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter. Also, I post monthly commissioned arts on each story, already posted a few on an Archer's Promise, Broly and Snafu.

As usual if you can please leave a review I'm curious to know what y'all think of my story.

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