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My love: My choice

Until when should I hide this feelings? until when should I say no? Until when should I mind what people would say? for the first time in my life I want to be selfish, I want to be happy the way I wanna be. but there's always restrictions, always have rules and I bound to abide those rules. why is happiness hard to get? it seem too near yet to far. people say you just have to follow your heart and that's happiness. can I do that? follow my heart and be happy? can I? seeing her crying infront of me breaks my heart. I don't know what to do, should I hug her? and gives her comfort? oh dear! her words hurt me badly, bakit ako lang? bakit parang ako lang ang lumalaban? Ipaglaban mo naman ako. ipaglaban mo naman kung anu tayo? nakakapagod na. her exact words while crying infornt of me, I want to hug her badly at sabihin sakanya na don't worry everything will be alright. and giver her assurance that things will work out. but I cant give her false hope. ayoko siyang paasahin. mas lalo ko siyang masasaktan. It's not that I don't love her. I Love her very much. but I don't want to disappoint my parents. I don't want to breaks their hearts and just walk away from my responsibilities. oh how I hate this Life. What should I do?

desraj120 · LGBT+
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5 Chs

First Meeting

Miss, you don't have to do this, lahat ng problema sa mundo may solusyon, wag mo pong sayanging ang buhay nyo, kung kailangan nyo po nang kausap andito po ako. derederecho niyang sabi sa babaeng nasa railings ng barko. oh jeez, bakit ba ako pa ang nakakita dito. pag minalas ka naman oh. 

Miss? Miss?

gusto niya sanang lapitan ang babae but she can't, she has an Acrophobia. oh dear, gusto ko lang naman sana makita ang mga stars bakit naman my eksena pang ganito lord help me. she just want to be alone and think things through. pero ang na datnan niya sa upper deck ng barko ay ang isang babae na umakayat ng railings at parang my inaabot. 

kahit na takot na takot siya not to alarm the woman in the railings at kahit na nangangatog ang kanyang tuhod pilit siyang lumapit sa babae, basta ang nasa isip niya ay to save the woman. 

Miss? tawag nya uli. at parang nabiro pa ang langit biglang umihip ang malamig na hangin na nakadagdag sa kanyang panginginig. parang gusto nya tuloy mapamura at magsisi na lumabas pa sa kanyang cabin. 

Miss? and for the fifth time, parang doon lang narinig ng babae ang kanyang tawag, bigla iton napalingon nakakunot ang noo sa kanya. 

Yes? Anything you need? nakakunot noong tanong sa kanya. 

Miss don't do this okay. Di ito ang solusyon sa lahat ng problema. mahinahon nyang sabi kahit na sa loob loob nya, she's afraid.

What? naguguluhang sabi nito.

Can we talk? Sa di alam nyang gagawin yun nalang ang nasabi nya. 

nagugulohan mang ang babae ay tumango ito. 

She felt relieve when the woman responded her with a nod. 

sabawat hakbang ng babae pababa ay parang nabunutan sya ng tinik sa dibdib. she felt proud to herself, may nailigtas syang isang tao sa kapahamakan. and when the woman was on her last step bigla itong nadulas, buti nalang naging maagap siya at nahawakan ang bewang nito at napahiga silang pareho sa sahig. at sa kanilang pagbagsak ay ang pagtama rin ng kanyang siko sa sahig. 

Are you okay? tanang ng babae sa kanya na dalidali syang nilapitan.

She want to say yes I'm okay, but her arms betray her. 

Don't move, maagap na sabi ng babae. 

 Let me check, don't worry I'm a doctor. she check on me, as if its a natural thing for her. 

Don't worry it's just a little fracture, we'll just have to cast it and your okay after 3-5 weeks. but to make sure, we need to run some test, but for the meantime let me apply some first aid to this. duredaretso nyang sabi. sabay apply ng first aid, di ko na naintindihan ang iba pa nyang sinabi. she looks hot while attending to my injury. hephep hot? wow, am I being gay? I'm straight as meter stick oh my! why does I have this kind of thought? not that Its new to Her, kung ganda rin lang ang paguusapan she's a beautiful woman herself. 

There! just avoid moving this injured arm and later pagdaong ng barko, you need to go to hospital for further examination. 

By the way what is your name? age? any allergies? untag nya na nakapagpabalik sa akin sa kamalayan. madami pa siyang tanong tungkol sa medical history ko na sinagot ko naman. 

I'm Jessica Oliveros. 28, and I'm allergic to Seafood. sunod sunod kong sagot sa mga tanong niya. 

It's for your medical profile. Sorry occupational habit. 

 I'm Athena Lewis Chen. Doctor Athena Lewis Chen. sabay abot ng kamay to offer shake hands. but unfortunately I can't accept the shake hands, because of my injury.

What are you saying kanina? tanong nito habang inaalalayan nya akong tumayo.

What are doing there kanina? balik tanong ko.

I'm just--- wait lang, don't tell me, your thinking that I'm going to take my life there? 

Are you not? alanganin kung sagot. 

No way! I'm a Doctor I Value life more than anything. natatawang saad nito. 

oh no, mukhang nagkamali ako ng hinala. ah, bahala sya.

Anyway even if your not really going to jump off, I'm still thankful na walang seryosong nangyari. just a minor injury. sabi ko.

then, one of the stewards sa barko announces that in a few minutes we are about dock. 

Andito ka lang pala, kanina pa kita hinahanap. and what happened to your arms? sunod sunod na sabi ni Lei sa akin. 

Lei is my bestfriend and a colleague, siya ang lagi kong kasama since high school. siya rin ang nag-aya sa akin to take this vacation.

Just a little injury need lang ng cast for 3-4 weeks. sagot ko sa kanya. 

Wow yan na pala ang "Little Injury" sarkastikong saad nito.

and who might this be? tanong niya na parang pulis na nagiimbistiga. 

oh, this is Doctor Athena, and Doc this is Leya my bestfriend. pagpapakilala ko dalawa. 

 her one and only bestfriend, singit naman ni Leya at daretsong abot ng kamay to offer shake hands. na tinangap naman ng una. 

I have no choice, biro ko ky Leya na agad namang akong hinampas, at sa kamalas malas sa may injured arm ko pa.

hey, careful! agap ni Doc Athena, she need some rest, and needs to visit the hospital for further examination. you need to accompany her later. 

then biglang nag ring ang phone ni Doc Athena. Sorry I need to take this. 

tango nalang ang isinagot ko, dahil parang sumasakit na lalo ang braso ko. dahil sa pagkakampas ni Leya. kaliit na babae pero kung makahampas parang bakal ang kamay. 

nang makalayo si Doc Athena ay siya namang siko sa akin ni Leya. Ang ganda niya no? 

kung di mo sinabi kanina na Doctor siya, mapagkakamalan kong artista o di kaya model siya ang tangkad pati. dati kayang artista or model bago nag Doctor. tanong ni Leya. 

hay naku gumana nanaman ang pagiging marites mo. can you please help me, ang sakit na ng braso ko. I need atleast to sitdown. 

Oo na po kamahal, anu ba kc ginagawa mo dito sa upper deck? reklamo nito. 

habang inaalalayan ako ni Leya ay siya naman balik ni Doc Athena, 

I'm sorry I can't accompany you to the Hospital I have an Emergency.

Can you take her to the Hopital? tanong nito kay Leya,

Oo naman don't worry she's in a good hands. sagot naman nito. 

You don't have to worry anything, all you have to do is to go to this Hospital I have a friend there, who is working and he knows the best orthopedic in town. I already arrange everything. all you have to do is to give this paper to the front desk and everything is arrange. sabay abot sa papel. 

Okay, I have to go. I need to pack my things before we dock. at nagmamadali na itong tumakbo. 

Oh no! di man lang ako nakapagpasalamat. 

hanggang sa makadaong kami at makapapunta kami ng Hospital ni Leya. di namin nakita si Doc Athena. And then their support to be enjoyable vacation ended.