Something is bothering me!

"Raeliana!"

"?! Yes?"

"Ugh !! You said you would watch me dance, but as soon as I started, your head was in the clouds. You know I'm not up there, then why aren't you paying attention?"

Well, something is bothering me from that situation. What would have happened if I had run then and there. Would I have been arrested as a spy, tortured or dead? But why didn't I run?

I remember how my heart stopped the moment I remembered their love that would have ended in tragedy. It was not because I felt empathy for them, but because I had forgotten someone important.

My love of the past had simply turned into nothing. I couldn't remember his face, the way he loved me, his voice or even his name. I couldn't even remember if I really loved him or not, or it was just an illusion that I had created and believed all this time.

When she found out, and then the guards surrounding me, I couldn't think of any way out of that situation. I had no choice but to remain silent listening to how smart she was to find a spy in the house and the voice of Raphael trying to keep me focused, saying constantly: Raelian!… Raelian!

"Raelian!"

"?! I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention, can you repeat it again!"

"You're doing the same thing again. Just tell me in my face that my dancing skills are bad, then I'll try even harder. But you being distracted when I'm trying so hard, i-it hurts me even more. "

?! I h-hurt her?! Oh no, she was excited about her debut, that's why she wants me to see her dance. I guess, I messed up!

"Well, you know I love you dearly! I would never do anything to make you feel bad or hurt your feelings. You are beautiful and your dancing skills are perfect. Even if you miss a step that doesn't matter if you're having fun!"

She looked pleased, but that changed into a worried voice.

"Then let's leave it here, you need to rest, you don't look so well."

"No, I still want to watch you dance. Can you show it to me one more time, please!"

"Hehe, of course!"

I'm happy when I see people around me having a good time. When they are happy at the same time they display a blinding light that forces others to be happy with them. And Mireya is still a child even though she is at an age that is legal to get married, I want her to keep these beautiful memories even when she one day finds her happiness. This time she will not have any obstacles.

My days here are better than I thought they would. Different from what I had in the countryside or what I had imagined being in Nasya's house. Mireya and I don't need to do work or cleaning, but we are still busy with endless lectures. Well, except for Spencer who is the assistant butler of this house. It was not difficult for him to get a job here with the name he has.

We both take classes to be part of the aristocracy now. Mine contains more history and ethical lessons, while Mireya's classes have more work than I do, including what I learn, as well as dance and flower decoration.

I gave up on them from the beginning. I don't like someone to guide me in decorating flowers and then take grades on them.

If I were to take that class it would give me more stress than pleasure. Not to mention dancing is not my thing and will not do it any time soon anyway so why should I try?

I thought long and hard about what Count Belgar's daughter told me when she took me for Isabella, she had no freedom to choose and wanted to learn the sword just like her brother.

So I tried hard to convince His Grace to let me get sword fighting lessons. This society is a battlefield that seeks to have good knowledge, to be sweet-tongued and a good sword fighter. It does not matter which you are going to use, if you know all of them, then you can surely win. So I need to get even stronger.

But every time I look at it, having a sword in my hands feels weird. It's the same as not using my powers, but it can still hurt people.

The difference is because using a sword doesn't cost me anything, it does not tire me after I have practiced for a long time and it is easier to control. And most importantly, that person can't take advantage of me.

I feel lighter and at the same time, my arms are hurting. Emptying the mind, having nothing else to think about just defeating the opponent and defending against his attacks, the sound of swords making my ears ache every time they collide with each other and the speed of reaction are still new things for me.

I want to learn more, I want to defeat anyone who stands in my way and I want all my tireless work to be paid in the end.

Huff-huff! Gulp… sigh!

[Child, I think you are torturing yourself enough, your body is not used to this yet. Don't forget you have other things to worry about, don't let your guard down!]

'Sigh, forgive me! I think this time I got overwhelmed and I forgot about everything else.'

This is not even close enough. I have to try harder, harder, h-hard.

'Raphael! W-why does everything look so blur…!

I woke up the next day. Mireya was standing in bed next to me with a maid at the door. My eyes were heavy and my body was numb, I thought maybe it was because I had been lying in bed for a long time and from yesterday's practice, so I didn't pay much attention to that, but Mireya had a grim face with only guilt. I saw with my own eyes how much she was worried and I was sorry I didn't take care of myself.

A doctor came later to see how I was and it seemed to be just fatigue, which was caused by insomnia, stress and excessive training, so I had to take a few days of bed rest. Well, it wasn't bad, at least it was not something serious and just took a few days of rest and mental relaxation.

After a while, everyone left and I stayed silent in bed. It was hard to concentrate on one place and rest, but that was not the main problem when someone else didn't want to leave me alone.

[Children, it seems you don't know how to take better care of yourself.]

'I admit I overestimated the capacity my body can hold, but you listened to the doctor. He said that I have insomnia, but I think I have a bigger problem than that, one that can't be solved even though I have told him several times now.'

[Are you being sarcastic?]

'Maybe!'

[Childe, you are worrying more than you should. If your body can not cope with that kind of training now, it's better to learn little by little, and later it will be much easier to handle. Even if you never make it, I can simply take your place.]

'Like you did that time? Don't play with me Raphael, no one is asking for your help, so do not interfere. Just stay where you are, you have done enough.'

Hmph!! Whatever I do, this kid does not appreciate it, even though I got out of my way and I didn't kill anyone during the process, she still says I did enough. Either she is stupid to mess with me or too manipulative.

Either way, we were fortunate that everything turned out like that. Otherwise, it would be quite a problem to kill all the people who were there, not to mention the people inside the mansion who would scream in agony running all over the place. Hehehe! What a loss! However...!

[Hey childe!]

'What now? I'm trying, let me sleep!'

[It bothers me that, that human took us with him. If he so desperately wanted an heir, with his status he would have had even better options, so why us? And why did he allow the girl and the white hair man to come with us?]

'Why, don't you think he can have the same motives as the Marquis? Anyway, it's good that Mireya and Spencer stayed by my side. And in the future, he will not be an obstacle for Mireya. '

[What are you talking about, what has he got to do with that girl?]

'Thankfully he has! He was one of those people who oppose her relationship with the second prince, but he did a wrong move and had a terrible fate.'

I don't know what the future would hold for us if we live with him, but if he is by our side, I wonder what Nasya's expression will be when she looks at us together. I don't want our lives and the whole world to be in her hands. Everything will go worse and worse for everyone after the war is over and she will come out to help.

I don't care about this world and what happens to it, but those who can't satisfy her will end badly and those who oppose her will end even worse.

I was discharged after a few days, the doctor gave me some painkillers for the moments when I feel in pain. Mireya stood by me all the time and tried to lift my spirit even though I felt like I was keeping her behind schedule.

Now that I was feeling better and allowed to continue practicing with the sword, I needed to tell her about the offer.