Real friendship

"Spencer! I accepted the idea of going outside and having a drink with you, but this is alcohol. You know that I am underage right? I can't drink it!"

"I don't know how things are from the way you come, but here you are basically an adult now. And your drink is not that bad. By the way, what do you call this kind of beverage? … A coctile, a coctail?"

"A cocktail, and yeah, it's still not for me."

"Sigh…You are such a pain sometimes, but this much at least I can do. I will go and order you another drink, all right."

I don't want to sound rude or picky either, but I can't let my guard down even for a second when we are alone outside. Sending you home safely is my main priority right now, therefore I can't let myself be shaken. Even though he can take care of himself without me bugging in, I cannot be that careless and let others handle it.

"Why did you take so long? It is not like they have too many options to choose from."

"Here is your drink. And about that, I thought I saw an acquaintance of mine and decided to say hello."

"Was it a relative of yours?"

"…Sadly, I don't have one."

If I get even I little bit under the influence and lose my focus, at least it should not happen when we are here, I don't know how this body with react in that situation, and I don't want to find out any time soon. One after another, drinking with Spencer and talking with him at the same time brought back memories from the time I was a student in my past life. It feels so nostalgic but strangely so familiar.

"Uhm…Spencer, you actually didn't change it …*hic*…?! Didn't you?"

"Pardon, they had anything but not alcoholic. However, I did bring you the easiest one."

"Oh, for god sake, why did you not tell me sooner...*hic*"

"You drank too much, and I didn't see any changes in our conversation so I thought there was no problem with it."

Careless. I didn't even notice that something was wrong until I started seeing things that were not supposed to be there, my eyes and head felt heavy. I feel drowsy, I guess now it is giving effect. How much did I drink? I don't know, I lost count of it after the fifth one.

"Wha…?!?! Why are you suddenly crying?"

"I am so unreliable…*hic*…I'm so so… I am so sorry! I was supposed to send you home safe, b-but now I can't even walk straight without falling every five minutes…*hic* I can't even talk properly without stuttering…hic*…*sob*..!"

"I know that you have a strong sense of responsibility, but don't you expect me to be offended by what you just said? Now take this and wipe your tears, even though I don't mind. You look more like your age this way, I mean it in a good way."

What's good about that, it is laughable that's what it is.

"N-not fair…*sniff*…don't tell anyone, even Mireya, that you saw me like this, okay!"

"Sure. Well, I think this was a lot of fun, but you must be tired. Come on, I am going to carry you until we reach the mansion."

"…*hic*…", I think that drink is messing up my hearing too like my vision wasn't enough. No there is no hope, my brain is intoxicated. Haha! Of course, he didn't actually say that, right? Right?! But then why is he opening his arms, "Wait, you want to carry…me? Did I hear that right?"

"Yes, now don't look at me like you just met me for the first time and hop up, I don't have the whole day."

"A-all right, now you just sobered me up with that!", Is the world falling apart? Is he talking like this because he is also drunk? Am I seeing things or am I just dreaming? That's weird.

"Sigh! Whatever, if you want to continue walking on your own then do so, I don't care."

"Thank you, I will. I don't want you to freak out and freeze while holding me in the middle of the road. Like you did last time."

"Last time… uhm...don't talk about that. I just panicked, that's all, I didn't mean to act in such a way. That's unexpectable."

If it was that simple I was not going to talk about it, and even now, the way I brought it up was a little mean, "Don't think too much of it, if it was just a reflex and nothing more, no hidden meaning behind it, then there is all good with me. No need to take it seriously.", I don't need to know it all, and of course, not something that might ruin our current relationship. I like things as they are now.

"You are being too honest all of the sudden, and that's starting to creep me out. You are not trying to bribe me for more information related to your little friend of your, are you?"

"Tch! So skeptical. How typical of you to suspect me for anything, Spencer. I am just trying to be nice to you for once and look how you react. Do you want me to pour my heart out? Tell you how much I value our friendship and finish it with a hug to convince you that I am actually being nice?"

"Yes. That is a lovely suggestion, and it would be also entertaining to see you try."

…eh? I think I made a mistake of some sort. I wasn't expecting that answer and maybe he said it to tease me. Actually, I don't know where I was going with that either, but fine. If you want this, then I am going to give it to you.

I build my courage and made a step forward. I could feel how surprised it was for him that I actually did that since his body flinched as I wrapped my arms around his waist. I buried my face in his chest and whispered, "Don't tell anybody about this either!", I was embarrassed and frustrated, I didn't want him to see how flushed my face was, even though I could have blamed it on the drink. For so many years I lacked physical contact and nobody was able to give it to me willingly while also being afraid for their lives. Being unable to touch someone for support or just to cheer them up and hating the thought of being misunderstood only because of what you are is sickening, suffocating, and depressing.

"Say Spencer…am I that scary and unpleasant? Would have been better for me and everyone else if I wasn't like this. Is there even someone out there who honestly, genuinely, and without being affected by my power, wants someone like me to live beside me?"

I felt like crying with each question I made. I dreamed of freedom and a life for myself where I didn't have to worry about others judging me, giving me the looks, and making my life a living hell just by breathing the same air as they do, but I also want to live among people or else I might go crazy. It's a love–hate relationship, even though it can be skewed easily toward hate. Spencer listened to me calmly without saying a word and when I was over he patted me on the head and made a step back.

"Look, I don't know how to say this, but… you don't need ME to answer these questions and from what I see the problem lies deeper. Be honest and tell me yourself what you are worried about."

"*Gulp*…right. You want a base to work with. I will tell you what I know and what I suspect first."

The moment I parted with the boy and helped the maid to calm down and partially convince her to use me as a tool or a meat shield for facing the one who question her right and truth, I met with his highness's aide who had finished his work and was talking with the woman in uniform. She noticed my presence right away and stopped talking with Alphred. The next thing I know she bowed and left me with him who led the way to his highness study.

"Wait did you say there was a woman in uniform?"

"Yes, you must have not seen her when she arrived here, but that was the one escorting me. Why was that the one thing that caught your attention?"

"Nothing, in particular, I just had to mention that that must have been Nary. She is his knight and the one who does his work outside the palace."

"Oh, so that's her? He told me to call out for her when I was there, but I didn't have a clue who was he referring to. Still, why did you have to clarify that, do you know her?"

"We studied at the academy together so I have known her for a long time, even before she made a vow to his highness."

"Anyway, don't interrupt me again…ahem…so, where was I?"

Alphred showed me the way even though I knew where the study was. I had a feeling that he was trying to stop me from getting distracted by anything else along the way and just wanted to send me there and get it over with. When I got there, the table where his highness was sitting a while ago was piled up with documents. Alastair was standing in front of the pile sighing as he was reading all of it one by one and was arranging them on his right.

As we got inside, he glared at Alphred who came after me and spoke with an unkind voice pointing at the pile, "Let me ask you one question Alphred, what's all this?"

Alphred who was pouring me some tea on the little table near his desk, answered him calmly without turning his head, "That's all the work that needs his highness's approval. I and all on … department gathered each of those documents that need a signature and an honest opinion from your highness."

"You are joking, right? Those reports have weeks and probably months without direct approval from the emperor, work that doesn't need my signature, papers with paragraphs out of topic, and documents that Jonathan has to review are all on my desk. It is a mess and half of it isn't supposed to be mine, but the emperor's work to reading and signing off of this", he was talking so fast that in the end he was out of breath and waiting for a response from his aide. Pretty much complaining about how much work he had to do and so little time to finish it all.

He was being assertive and quite blurt with him which was quite impressive, for me. I didn't know if this was another side of him or then he was acting normal but saying what he thinks without using filters and regard for what the other person thinks sounds rude, yet it is another asset of an honest person. I didn't expect that honestly! I thought that he was going to yell at him and throw hands, but then he just set again and was super concentrated on his work. He was being very laid-back about it all, it was rather normal.

"So, what happens next? Did you just stand there until he finished it all or did you tell him that you had to go?"

"Neither! I didn't have to do anything."

"Come again?! Don't tell me you sneaked out of there while he was working?"

"Sigh. I wish. Things took a turn when he saw something between the documents! One minute he was holding a back sealed envelope and in the other, he just flew out of there after threatening his aide for wasting his time."

***