A tiring road trip

…

[You mean disgusting, that's the right word for it! Don't forget what we have been through all those years when that guy thought it was a good idea to get drunk because he supposedly was 'sad for his lover's misfortune' and went to weld a knife in the middle of the night like it was nothing. He is lucky enough to still have all his fingers after all that ruckus.]

For someone who wasn't there until Mireya showed up, he sure is confident. The worse part is that he is not entirely wrong! While Spencer took the change of the kitchen, at first I could only pray that the food was not poisoned and for a week I had to sleep with one eye open for the whole night only because of that knife.

"Appreciate the fact that thanks to him we can still breathe and walk freely on the earth. And it was you who said to forget and embrace the feeling, right? Well, I am doing what you said so stop telling me if I should be confused or disgusted!"

Someday maybe, when both of us feel comfortable and don't have anything else to take care of, maybe then I can casually bring this up and have a good conversation. But that's for another time, now I should be more focused on this now.

"The more I look at it, the more I think that this letter is just a waste of time. Because why would he send a separate replay, when he made it clear in the duke's letter? I took the message, so I don't understand this one's purpose."

[Why don't you look at another perspective? Ask yourself, why shouldn't he? As a prince who has his own authority, he stands above the duke, so if he wanted to give you that envelope, he might as well hire a knight or someone else to hand it over to you without him knowing, but he chooses not to. Despite that, he knew that the first one to receive it would be the butler, next is the head of the house, and then you.]

A sealed envelope, more like a bunch of secrets with no value for me. But from the other perspective, it would look like something else. If I think about my past life, if someone took one of my friends and the next day she came with a hickey on her neck, I would think that they did something together. But when that same person who took my friend sent her a letter for no one to see what's inside, then it would probably have to do with what happened between them or something that it affects only her. In one way or another, he is begging me to see what's in it.

"…Hmmm…Now that I think about it, I am not in a rush. Whatever he has written, it has to wait for another day. And to be honest, the chances that what's inside would be needed are very slim, equal to zero."

[So you choose to ignore it…very well since I also think that inside is going to be nothing less than a white paper. But try to keep it with you, maybe is going to be useful.]

I would not be joking if I said "You read my mind", because that's what I was also thinking. Maybe I am going to put this envelope to good use, and that someday is not that far. This better not be something that he wants to discuss tomorrow because I would probably smack myself when I go come back home.

…

God, I feel so tired today! I didn't have a wink of sleep last night and the funny thing is that I had so much energy that I thought of reading something to pass the time and also make my eyes a little tired. Was it because of stress? Probably that's one of the many reasons, but I don't think that's the problem here, because I went and drank green tea before bed and when I realized it was too late. I finished the whole book, I had dark circles under my eyes that made it show even more how dead inside I am, and I had a long talk with the duke, only to find out that someone else was coming with me to the academy. Just great! Can this day get even better?

"For how long have we been on the road?"

"Three and a half hours? I don't know, but don't worry, soon we will be there! Just keep looking outside and remember to tell me when you see a large gate at the end of the road."

"How long is this going to take me?"

The struggle is real… doing the mother's job is hard, and I am not even a mother. How long are you going to ask me the same exact same question? You are not tired of doing it apparently, but I am fed up with it.

"Until you see it! So in the meantime, please keep quiet and do something that can entertain you without including me!"

She is sulking and I am in a shitty mood, for the love of god please don't make it even worse. I am not good at handling things that come out of hands, and now I need no other problem and a clear state of mind to maintain my sanity in front of that despicable person… Just breathe, breathe and take your mind off reality. Think about something else…s-something non-related with this world…

The ride…silence, the light wind coming from the window. The same boring view that repeats every time, tree-houses and then again houses-tree, and the carriage going so slow is making it impossible for me to keep my eyes open. Mireya is going to wake me up when we reach there, so if I close my eyes, just a little bit, is not a big deal. I need sleep…I want to sleep!

***

"Have faith in me, everything is going to be just fine."

"Do you mean it? What if you go far and I am still stuck here?"

"Even if that happens, I promise to come and pick you up!"

'We made a promise that day. A promise that both of us will wait for each other. But even though I was happy in his presence, everyone else wanted him gone. "Get him out of here! We can't associate ourselves with an out-of-wedlock child. He is a disgrace!" that's what they all said when he passed near them, and still he had a smile on his face despite the fact that he had all the right in the world to cry. No one in our clan liked him and it was ironic because he was father's favorite. But even our father couldn't go against the majority which despited him with no valid reason. That day I saw him go and never came back! Years passed and to my surprise, people started to talk about him again, and I was happy because I really thought that he had come to take me with him. I secretly opened the gate and let myself out, he was coming it was better if no one saw him. But things had changed…I couldn't hold my tears when I saw…that they finally broke him!'

"And then what happened?"

"Raeliana, you scared me?! I didn't know you were awake."

Of course I would wake up if I hear someone read out loud near me. I told her to do something to keep her entertained, while I sleep, but it felt like one second has passed since then. How long was I asleep? We are still on the road… so not enough apparently!

"Mireya it seems like we are still far from reaching the academy, so why don't you continue where you left off? I want to know what happens next."

"…I'm sorry but that was the end."

"What, are you serious?! That's it? The entire clan hated an innocent child when it is clear as day that it was his father's fault for the affair, in the end they broke him, she cried, and then what? That definitely is not the end. Let me see it!"

"Wait no!!!"

Where is it? Most of them are white, with nothing written on it. Expect only for…three pages and some doodles on one or two pages from the back.

"Mireya…that story, is not an actual book isn't it?"

"No, of course it is! I was trying to write it in this book because I remembered the story my nanny read to me when I was a little child and I wanted to write it down so I don't forget. She told me that they were two angles who promised each other to leave together, but the boy had to go before her. She waited and waited, and when the other angel came back…he had become the devil. Can you believe it?"

"More than you think!"

I didn't know this had angles on it. Was that book actually a variant of the bible?! I doubt they have a bible here though. But back to the main point, if the boy becomes the devil, it means that he had sinned and then was expelled from the angelic world for it. But something doesn't add up. Why him? It actually doesn't make sense because, the father had also sinned for cheating, but no one talked about it, and obviously he didn't get expelled. Where is his wife, and why is he the favorite? And let's not talk about the other clan members who were the worse angels in existence. Words hurt more than actions and they should be ashamed for the way they treated the poor child.

"Does this story ring a bell?"

"Huh?! A bell?"

"I mean, you were so into it and even agreed on the fact that the angel turned evil just a minute ago and then turned quiet, so I thought you must know something about it or trying to remember. Am I wrong?"

"Unfortunately, you are not wrong!"

The story was intriguing but has so many things to unpack. Question after question and is not worth my time to know something in between when I know the ending. I don't want to get too into it, because this is not the right time to distract myself from reality. My own memory is full of gaps and I can't put my finger on what is true or not. The only right thing I can do now is to keep walking straight and see the ending for myself.

"Mireya, do you see the gate? We reached our destination!"