Alone Time (2)

"Liliath. Do you think it'll be alright?"

"Will it really be alright?"

"Will our future really be alright?"

"Are you sure you won't become jealous or envious?"

"Passion can't grow if there's competition you know?"

"I don't like Rin. I seriously don't.. then why? Why did she become mine?"

"We can think that it's alright now, but a hundred, two hundred years down the road, there's no way to know what kind of trouble would appear if I had two wives."

"Do you really not mind sharing me with Rin?"

"Do I really not mind sharing you with Rin?"

I woke up to the cacophony of thoughts.

In the end, I didn't end up in Bleu's domain.

What bullshit..

I got up from the couch and looked around. Nine was sleeping over there, the living room was dark, and you could hear the hum of the heater running in the background.

I grabbed my hair between my fingers.

No way.

I don't like Rin.

I can't like her.

"What can I do about this? How do I undo this Blood Kiss.."

What can I do to remove this? I do I get Rin.. out of me. Just how..

It's so stifling. What the hell.

I got up and headed over to the kitchen to brew some tea.. milk tea. Right, I could use those instant tea packages I got from the supermarket dimension last time.. but it's not suitable for making milk tea isn't it?

I guess I'll just use whatever tea here, evaporate it to concentrate the extract using some magic then add milk.

Yeah. That's it.

I grabbed three tea packets from the shelf, pulled it open and dumped it in a nice big glass cup. I operated the Magiccasting widget to bring forth some boiling water. I'll let it seep for a bit.

I sat on the chair.

I think Rin sat on this particular one just that discussion ago.

The place is quiet. Nice. I have the whole place to myself. I checked using [God's Eyes] that Rin and Liliath were properly sleeping. They'll be no one to bother me here. Oh well, I'll just skip a session of training.. doesn't matter. I wasn't in the mood for it anyways.

Sigh.

What the hell.

I'll spend the rest of the night processing my thoughts. The problem is still me. I just don't know how to fix myself.

"I think the tea should be done by now," I muttered to no one.

I removed the tea leaves by scooping it up with a spoon or fork.. not particularly the best way to filter it but at least it's useless enough to prove a challenge– to take my mind off this bullshittery.

The leaves kept escaping the spoon after the beginning. It's easier using the fork to take away the last few large pieces. I couldn't do anything about the small ones. Some pieces were as fine as grain.

"Should be alright.. I'm sure demon lord metabolism helps digest tea leaves."

I cleared up the table, removed the leaves and took out some milk from the inventory. Like ho! I'm so glad I grabbed a dozen or so cartons of this– fresh milk.

I used this drying magic Liliath created to evaporate the liquid to concentrate the tea, then once it became one-fifth of the original, the colour now a thicker brown, I poured the milk into it.

A nice creamy peach was the resulting hue.

"Nice."

I put the milk away and stirred the mixture with my spoon.

It would be nice if I could add some herbal jelly in here. I think I'll take the drink cold tonight. Yeah, I feel like drinking something cold. Instead of using ice– which would dilute the taste, I'll use magic instead.

HMagic is convenient. Seriously convenient. I would've died many times over in that world if not for the magic Liliath registered in this list. Well.. I almost died though.

I added some sugar and some honey..

"Hahh.. this tastes good."

Milky, sweet creamy goodness. It's perfect, right on mark.

"It's nice."

I enjoyed the silence with a cup of cold milk tea.

I felt my stomach shrink– or something like that. You know that feeling when you drink cold drinks at night? Yea, that feeling. It's pleasant, yet not.

What time was it?

11 pm.

Great. 5 hours until 4 am.

Why did Rin have to kiss me?

It's obvious isn't it? She likes me.

– Unless I will it, it's impossible for her to evolve into a true demon lord in the first place.

I know that..

I exhaled.

Being alone felt nice. It's a strange change in pace.

I've almost always been around people. Ever since this transmigration, I rarely had the time to be alone.

I forgot how nice it was to just.. be.

Maybe that's why. I just need some space to think.

Yeah.

Fortunately I didn't blow up just now. I could've hurt Liliath or Rin.

Liliath is trying her hardest to prevent Javiel from taking anything more away from her. Rin was a tag-along. But she's also having some difficulties adapting. Sure, she's alright, but there are times that she stands there fidgeting, all uncomfortable. She's sometimes clueless as to what she should do.

I guess that's the result of the 'work-by-order' education she received from young. Very different from the upbringing of her other..

It's a blessing that I got to grow up in the family I grew up in. It's a blessing that I got this TALENT. It's a blessing I met Liliath. It's a blessing I got to experience an actual isekai. It's a blessing that..

That..

…

I'm denying it.

I can't come to terms and accept it.

Then I won't force it.

Come to think of it, we were at Gilgamesh's national park when we got thrown into this mess, isn't it? I have to constantly remind myself that we're here temporarily. It's been a month so.. about 11 months to go.. if we're using one year as an assumption.

"What exactly are we trying to solve?"

Liliath's evolution quest was to stop the demon lord. And it's not like my evolution quest was solved either.

===

Liliath's evolution quest:

Resolve the war between the Empire and Demon Lord.

.

Noel's evolution quest:

Resolve issue.

===

How did I just realize this? Liliath's quest is so straightforward. Just solve the war.

Do that and we can go back. It's that simple.

If I gave the Regressor every buff possible and teleported him to where Javiel was– then end-game. We solved it. That's it right? Liliath's evolution quest?

Oh. I'm being too myopic here. We should be enjoying our trip. Right? The point is the trip, the outcome is the means.

I'm not enjoying the trip. I'm sick and tired of having to constantly keep up with stuff. Can't I just take a break already? Enough with these stupid concidental encounters already.. My TALENT just keeps dragging me into these places– overstimulation is killing me. I've been hit like so much, I'm starting to think cynically.

Back before my TALENT existed, I spent my days drawing because I thought that was my direction. I chose art cuz I loved it.

Here? In this isekai world? Every day we go out into the wilderness– boring adventure. Else we'd just waste our time in the orphanage.

What exactly I'm I doing? I wanted to be an artist right? I don't have an aim.. no goal. Journeying without a goal is a recipe for disaster. So.. what do I want exactly? The outcome isn't important, the journey is, but without an outcome, there is no journey.

What do I want exactly?

Haha.. I'm back to this issue again..

Why do humans exist? To live? To experience? For what? Say if I got to experience everything– like what I am now– new experiences and unpredictable events every time.. what did that mean? Did it mean anything? Even if I lived to a thousand years together with Liliath.. we're going to die eventually.

So live.

Live for? Living.

Right. It's more of a feeling thing. Cause I'm acting depressed– feeling depressed, and thus where my thought goes– awry. To the negative.

Self-sabotage.

What's next?

Being a hypocrite? Sure.

What do I want?

Or maybe I just need to let these feelings pour out.

It's not suffering in silence. I just need to feel this pang of despair.. perhaps? Maybe it's normal to feel this every now and then. Soon enough, I'll forget about this moment and live. And maybe I'll come back to this again.. and so the repetition of the cycle.

In preparation for when I recover from this 'depression', what should I aim for?

"Maybe points.. maybe Nine and I should get our own rooms."

Points.

Okay, let's aim for better point acquisition. What method can I use to gain points at a higher rate? Now that I have the Pointsexchange widget, I can exchange items for coins. Herbs and plants are also something we can consider exchanging. Maybe start a plot? Where?

Something to automate..

Hm? Hold up. I met Gaia three weeks ago didn't I?

I checked her location on map.

She's located at an inn somewhere close by.

Oh. Hold up. Another thing struck me. I failed my event quest, but the Special Quest is still ongoing. Weird.. it's been three weeks for me..

What if 'finding the princess' secret, is actually some other princess? Like Her Highness Siesta?

Her marker is in the castle so.. she's sleeping I guess?

I decided to try my luck– I'm surprised she hasn't slept yet.

But.. how is writing a diary a secret? I zoomed in on the contents.. she's writing about the Regressor. Huh? Hold up, I thought she said she wanted to be with the light hero? Did she change her mind?

'Noel's Special Quest Completed'.

Oh fuck. So it is.

Right. Lookie here.. what the fuck is this coincidence? I spent so much of my sanity attending to that sexist of a frog and that Event Quest, and you're saying the solution to my Special Quest was to just peek at Her Highness Siesta. That makes no sense doesn't it?

It's like my entire TALENT is turning me soft. I've barely experienced any sort of hardship. I guess my self-sabotage is understandable. For someone like the Regressor who went through a sea of blood to get to the point he's at, he's in the position to criticize someone like me. Someone who had everything spoon fed to me.

What can I do anyways? Do I change? How do I change? What do I do?

Before I knew it, I've already finished the milk tea. Time: 12 am.